They tiptoed around each other for a couple of days, blushing every time their fingers touched, whenever they held each other's gaze for a little too long and when they were in the other's way and stepped to the side at the same time.
Kurt was still confused about what had happened the night they had gone out. He knew that he liked the bond they were all sharing more and more, the almost-family they were creating little by little. He knew that having Blaine helping him become a parent and just having him here was bound to cloud his mind. It was nice, more than nice actually, but Kurt was having issues separating the things he liked about their family and what was inherent to Blaine and not their situation. He didn't know if Blaine felt the same way and didn't want to bring it up, not ready to talk about it. Besides, Kurt liked seeing Blaine blush, it was a good look on him.
What was also always in Kurt's mind was what he had heard Jules tell his father. The little boy was feeling like he had done something wrong, that Kurt didn't like him and it was all because of how Kurt was behaving toward him. He was trying, he repeated to himself, but apparently just trying wasn't good enough. He needed to really behave like a father with Jules, because Kurt didn't want the child to feel like he didn't like him or that he was doing something wrong. He just couldn't have that. Kurt thought hard about what the child might want to do or how to show him that he liked him. Kurt played several scenarios in his head, wishing that one of them would actually work.
Kurt planned what was, according to him, the best plan ever. It was basic but the man was absolutely sure that it would work. On his way back from work, Kurt stopped at a toy store and wandered around. It had been a good plan until now. Kurt found himself walking in circles in the shop, seeing toys that he thought Jules might like before doubting himself and putting it down. He stayed in the store for an hour and a half, picking at least ten toys before putting them back. Kurt was pissed, not at the store but at himself, buying something was supposed to be fun and a way to show people that you knew them and liked them. But buying a present also included the part where you knew a little about the person you wanted to offer something to and obviously Kurt knew next to nothing about Jules. The man tried to make a list of everything he knew about Jules but not a lot came to his mind. In one last attempted Kurt walked to the plush aisle. His eyes wandered to the Winnie The Pooh plush, they were cute and one of them was even carrying a little jar of honey. Kurt found it adorable and grabbed it, asking for it to be wrapped.
Kurt waited for Jules to be in bed, after Blaine had kissed him goodnight until he walked into the room. Jules sat in his bed, not used to having Kurt there. Kurt's heart tightened at the incredulous look on Jules' face, he didn't want him being in the boy's room to be something so special, he wanted it to be normal, he wanted Jules not to think twice about it. Kurt forced a smile on his face and walked closer to Jules' bed.
"Hi there." Kurt whispered, because he hadn't thought about turning the light on and even if Jules' night light was on he still felt like he had to whisper.
"Hi." Jules answered, waiting for him to say something.
"I just wanted to tell you good night and also to give you this." Kurt pushed the gift into Jules' hands. The boy beamed at him before tearing the paper apart. The little boy's eyes illuminated instantly and he squeezed the bear against his little chest and face, flushing his cheek against it.
"It's beautiful." Jules said in awe, still not letting go of his new toy. "Can I keep it?"
"Of course, but first you have to name him." Kurt pressed a kiss into Jules' hair as the boy settled back into his bed.
"I thought his name was Winnie." Jules pointed out, his little brow furrowing. Kurt smiled at that and pushed his thumb into the frown to make it disappeared.
"Yes it is. But I thought maybe you'd like to name it differently."
"No, Winnie is perfect." Jules kissed his Winnie and smiled at Kurt." Thank you." The little boy whispered before turning his head into his pillow.
Kurt counted that has a win and decided that since it had been a huge success he had to continue. The next day Kurt brought back a little car to Jules who looked at it in confusion before saying a polite thank you and running back to his room. Blaine shrugged apologetically and bit his lip in sympathy for Kurt. On Wednesday Kurt brought back a book about dinosaurs and once again Jules only said thank you because his father mouthed it to him behind Kurt's back. Blaine didn't know what was going on, but he was starting to get an idea. On Thursday Kurt came back with tiny boxing gloves Blaine let him offer it to Jules who gently took it from Kurt and went to his room to put it away with the other gift that Kurt had offered the day before. Jules wasn't warming up though, Kurt knew better than to rush this but he had thought that maybe the gift would help Jules see that he liked him and that the little boy had nothing to fear. Instead Kurt had the feeling that Jules was starting to think that he was stupid or that he was like this awkward aunt or uncle that you tried to avoid at all costs during family meetings because they wanted to kiss you on the mouth or ask you about your love life and smelled like naphthalene and lavender. Kurt went to Jules' room that night to kiss him goodnight, this was the only thing he was sure about because every time he entered the room, the little boy tried to hide his smile into his pillow, pretending that he was asleep. Kurt caught the heapof untouched toys in a corner of Jules' room and the man winced at the sight. Even with the best intentions he was still doing a pretty bad job at being a father.
Kurt walked back into the living room and plopped down on the couch next to Blaine, putting his head on the man's shoulder, searching for sympathy and affection after what he had saw. He didn't think about the fact that it was Blaine, he had felt Blaine falling apart under his body just a few night ago, he definitely didn't think about it and stayed like that until Blaine took his hand in his and started rubbing circles with his thumb on Kurt's hand.
"What's going on, Kurt?"
"I think Jules hates me." Blaine laughed a little at that and shifted to put an arm around Kurt and brought him closer to him, Kurt took this as an invitation and snuggled into Blaine's side.
"You know what? I think I had the exact same conversation with our son few days ago." Blaine mocked gently. "You two are just two drama kings and also bad at communication."
"Am not." Kurt weakly argued.
"And apparently you're the same age. Congrats." Kurt shoved Blaine as the man erupted in laughter.
"You think you're so funny." Kurt pouted, his arms crossed over his chest as he sat on the couch facing Blaine.
"Seriously Kurt, besides your age problem, what's the matter?" Kurt glared one last time at Blaine for good measure before sighing loudly. His face shifted and suddenly Blaine could see how tired Kurt was, how rejected and powerless Kurt felt.
"I don't know what to do, it's just not… everything I do is wrong and I'm driving him away every time I try something. I'm looking at him every day and he's there, close but he is also completely out of my reach. I don't know how to interact with Jules and I don't know how to change that." Blaine moved closer to Kurt and gently offered his hand for Kurt to take, Blaine gently squeezed it and smiled in compassion.
"Not everything that you do is wrong, Kurt. Can I be blunt?"
"By all means." Kurt answered, despair in his voice.
"You're trying too hard, Kurt." The man eyed Blaine at that so he continued. "You're not trying to become his best friend here, you're trying to be his parent. And while being a parent doesn't mean that you can't be friendly with him there is also a line that you don't want to cross. He is almost six, Kurt, he isn't stupid and I'm almost sure he has picked up on what's going on."
"What's going on?" Kurt muttered.
"You're trying to buy him."
"I am so not trying to buy him." Kurt pointed vigorously but still tried to remain as quiet as possible so Jules wouldn't wake up. Blaine put his hands up in surrender and waited for Kurt to calm down.
"Okay, but still. It's very nice of you to buy him gifts, but one a day might be a little too much, don't you think?"
"Blaine, I don't know him, I can't talk to him, we don't have the same interests. How is he supposed to love me if I don't buy him presents?"
"I'm afraid you're gonna have to pull a Burt Hummel, then." Blaine answered cockily. Kurt once again glared at him but this time Blaine could see that he had caught his attention.
"What's that?"
"A Burt Hummel, kind sir, is a situation when a father doesn't understand a single thing that's going on in his son's life but is still willing to support him, to love him and to listen to him anyway."
"Oh." Was Kurt's only answer. If he was thinking about it, it looked somewhat like his and his father's relationship. It had taken them a while to understand each other and work together perfectly but with Burt's patience and open mind it had been possible. "Do you think I should call my dad?"
"I think you should, but not only to seek advice." Blaine said, hinting that it was also time to talk to Burt about Jules.
"Okay, yeah I'll do it tomorrow." Kurt decided. "I still don't know what to do with Jules, and I do believe he hates me somehow." Kurt added, the playfulness of his tone hiding the fear behind his words. Blaine sighed and tilted his head to the side.
"Okay, there is something you need to know." Blaine adjusted his position on the couch earning Kurt's full attention again. "Jules loves you, he worships you and adores you and nothing you can do or say will change that."
"He stopped calling me Papa." Kurt pointed out, not exactly knowing why. Well actually it had been bothering him since the little boy had stopped and it was like an itch in his chest and mind that just wouldn't go away. Blaine rolled his eyes at the comment and continued.
"He stopped because he saw how uncomfortable you were with him calling you that. Now let me talk." Kurt didn't have time to answer to that and Blaine talked again. "When he was around three, Jules wrote you a letter. He colored a piece of paper in bright pink and he used his most beautiful purple Sharpie to write it. In the excitement, he put so much glitter on the card that somehow he got some all over his hair and his cardigan and his face. It was a mess." Blaine chuckled fondly at the memory. "he had drawn with his Sharpie all over the paper and had left just one tiny space for me to write what he was dictated me. He asked me to write down: I love you Papa, wherever you are."
Kurt smiled hopefully at the story, recognizing Jules in all his magnificence - also Kurt didn't think that there was something as too much glitter.
"That's not it. Last year for Christmas he asked to bake cookies, he ordered me not to eat any of them and he didn't touch them as well. On Christmas eve, he put a little bow around some of them and placed them right next to the tree with a little note attached. There were several hearts drawn on the note and he told me that he knew you were watching over him every day and every night. He told me that it was alright if you weren't here because you were a CIA agent or an astronaut and he knew you had put webcams in our flat to look after him. He already didn't believe in Santa anymore but he believed in you. He loves you, Kurt, more than anything and I think you are starting to really like as well and if you look closely you'll see that you two have lots of things in common.
"He thought I was a CIA agent?" Kurt asked, bewilderment and shock written all over his face. Blaine burst out of laughing at that, clutching his side.
"Ah yeah, yeah he did and let me tell you that his story about having webcam all over our flat creeped me out for days!"
"And he baked me cookies?"
"He did that too."
Kurt stayed silent for a few seconds, replaying what Blaine had just told him in his head. After a while Kurt started smiling and he kept the smile on his face for the rest of the evening. When it was time to go to sleep Kurt almost asked Blaine to join him. It had been a tough evening and he wanted the company, he wanted someone to hug. He wanted the safety and the warmth of Blaine. Maybe it was just Blaine that he wanted.
A/N: And here it is. I was really looking forward to write this chapter and to give you some insight of little Jules!
I hope you liked it too!
