Maya's whole body felt numb. The noises around her filtered through the air, barely scratching the surface of her consciousness. She stared at the aging face of her mother, blond curls and blue eyes wild. A glimpse into Maya's future, a look at her past.

Katy smiled, eyes watery, "Hey Baby girl. What an unexpected surprise."

The pit of her stomach felt heavy, like her body was trying to swallow itself, "What are you doing here, Mom?"

She heard Josh shifting uncomfortably, standing directly behind her, "She's here to see me, love."

Maya tried to gulp down air, "Why would you want to see Josh, Momma?"

Katy looked around slowly, "I needed to see him, baby girl. I needed to know you were okay."

Maya stared, jaw clenched, "I'm fine."

Her mother fiddled nervously, "You don't talk to Riley much anymore. I didn't know where else to go."

She grimaced, "I don't need you to check up on me, Mom. I asked for time."

Katy bit her lip, "It's hard to give you time, baby girl. All I want is to be with you. You'll understand when you have children, it's different."

"What will I understand, Mom?" Maya could feel her anxiety fading, replaced by hurt, "What it's like to lie to the people you love?"

Katy shook her head, "I never-"

She was past letting her mother say her peace, "What it feels like to look my own daughter in the eye and tell her I'm all she has? That everyone else left?"

Josh reached to touch her, grimacing as she flinched away from him. Her mother stepped forward, "Don't blame Josh, honey. He's been trying to help?"

"Trying?" Maya's voice wavered, "How many times have you seen her?"

Katy smiled slightly, wistfully, "He's been so lovely Maya. I was so worried. Ever since he came home he's been calming my worry, baby girl."

"Ever since you...," Maya felt the information wash over her, the air in the cramped room starting to suffocate her, "I need to go."

Katy stepped forward to stop her, "No, baby girl, I really want to talk. Just stay and talk."

Maya stilled, facing her mother, looking her directly in the eye, "This? You ignoring my request for space, space I need from you. Using the man I love to manipulate me. This is more than a line crossed, Katy. This is too many steps backward for me."

She pushed past Josh, talking into the hallway and down the stairs. The air of the apartment building was humid, making it hard for her to breathe, tears barely held at bay as she made it out onto the street.

Maya's breath came in short bursts, the rain slick on her skin as she raced into the university building, pulling her drenched coat from her body. Shaking with cold and emotion, she walked quickly down the halls, reaching the colored door at the end. Maya knocked heavily against the door, resting her hand over the door knob of the men's changing room. The door cracked open, light streaming out into the dimly lit hallway. A man leaned out, peaking out from underneath a large violets hat, "Maya? Is that you?"

Maya smiled, trying to keep her voice from cracking, "I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to interrupt practice, coach."

Coach scanned her face, shaking his head, "Don't you ever worry about that darling, just a second."

Coach turned, facing into the changing room, "Luc!"

Lucas stalked over from the opposite side of the changing room, pulling a clean shirt over his torso, "Yes, Coach?"

He spotted Maya immediately, realization dawning on his face, "Hey, you."

He was there to catch her before Maya even knew she was falling, wrapping her in his arms. He gathered her close, resting his chin on the crown of her head, "I thought you were going to Josh's"

Maya nodded, shifting back to look at him. His eyes searched hers, hands gripping her shoulders. He nodded in understanding, "Katy."

Her voice was thick with emotion, "Home. Can we go home?"

"Yeah," another player approached, handing him his bag. Lucas thanked him, shifting to pull his jacket around her shoulders, "Alright, Short stack. Lets get you home."

Maya settled onto the couch, wearing sweatpants and another one of Lucas' oversized jumpers. Deciding it was too cold to run errands with no coat, he had dropped her home to change and run back out again. Maya couldn't describe the relief she felt when the front door moved, the sound of keys jingling a comforting sound. He rushed into the room, hair soaking wet. Shucking off his coat and joining her on the couch, "Alright. I brought you pad Thai, a snuggly blanket from Walmart and the DVD edition of '10 things I hate about you'."

Maya gaped, looking from Lucas to her favorite meal, to her favorite movie and back to Lucas. He grinned over at her, "How'd I do?"

She leapt up, wrapping her arms around him, "Perfectly."

He smirked with pride, "I need to get changed," he held the DVD case out to her, "But you put this on and then we'll eat and watch."

Maya smiled softly, moving to curl up in the new blanket, "Where's Farkle tonight?"

Lucas walked behind his door, "Staying and catching up with Riley."

Maya felt the urge to confess, "Mom went around to Josh's, checking up on me."

Lucas was quiet so she continued, "I was really thinking about maybe going to see her soon, You know? I wish she'd just given it a bit longer."

His face contorted as he moved to nestle his body in beside hers, "Have you ever thought that maybe she had the best of intentions for you?"

She sighed, "I know she did. I know."

He looked over her, gaze heavy with concern, "Give yourself some time. Go back and talk to Josh."

Maya's neck snapped up, "I don't get it. You're on Josh's side?"

Lucas smiled softly at her, "He was just keeping Katy from hassling you. Trying to take care of you. I can understand that."

She let his words wash over her, her mind working slowly. She frowned, glancing up at him, "Lucas, do you think..."

He looked over, "Mmm?"

"Do you think I'm being childish?"

His body shifted, gaze turning soft, "I think you have a right to feel what you feel, Shortstack."

She frowned, "What if what I feel is wrong?"

He leant forward, brushing a small strand of hair out of her eyes, "It could never be."

She frowned, mind swirling as she stared into his eyes, "Lucas?"

"Yeah, Shortstack?"

"I love you," She breathed.

He chuckled, "I would be worried if you didn't."

She caught his face, pulling him back to her, 'You've always been here for me."

He grinned, "And I always will be."

She blinked, heart heavy, "Thank you."

He shifted uncomfortably, "Don't mention it."

She moved forward, placing a kiss on his cheek, leaning in to rest her face on his shoulder, "I mean it."

He leant back, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, kissing the crown of her head, "Me too."

Walking down the bare street after dark, Maya felt the shift in weather, from autumn to winter, for the first time this year. She shivered, pulling her already buttoned coat even closer to her sides. The quaint street, although dimly lit and dusted in snow, was exactly how she remembered it. Tall trees guarding the front of a place she used to call home. She found Shawn where he always was at this time of night. After katy slept he made his way out to the garage, where he sat, working on the one of the only things he had left from his father. An old, broken car.

On nights when Maya couldn't sleep, she used to travel down the steps from inside the house and join, chat to him for hours. Now she stood in front of the slightly ajar garage door, watching her stepdad lean over the hood of the car.

She cleared her throat, moving into his line of sight, "How's it looking?"

Sean looked up, blinking at her silhouette, "Maya?"

Maya grinned, stepping forward, "You miss me?"

He was on her before she saw him coming, holding her tightly to his chest, "Everyday."

Sighing she leaned into his familiarity, "Same here."

He pulled back, frowning, "Is something wrong?"

She smiled softly, gesturing around, "It's been awhile since I've been home."

Shawn placed the wrench in his hand on the car's boot and shifted to perch on it, "You know you're always welcome."

"I know," Maya grinned at him, "And I think i'm going to be back here a lot more now."

The adoration in Shawn's eyes stunned her, "We'd really love that."

She looked down, "Friday night? I could come for dinner?"

Shawn nodded, "She will be so happy."

Maya took once last look around, "I know."

Shawn jumped up as she began to walk back down the driveway, "Wait, Where are you going?"

She looked back, "I'll leave you to it."

"It's late," he gestured around the street, "It's too dark. Just stay here."

She grinned, "Actually I've got one more bridge to mend."

When Josh opened his apartment door, he looked frazzled. Maya held her breath at the sight of him, hair tousled and eyes tired. She smiled softly, taking in the sight of him in sweats and a battered T shirt, "Hey, hot stuff."

He stared, disbelief colouring his features, his voice barely a whisper, "You came back."

She was pressed against him, wrapped in his arms before she could say another word. He held her tightly against him, fearful she might leave again if she got even a little bit of leeway. She grinned against his chest, "Happy to see me, Matthews?"

He pulls back to look her over, "You have no idea."

"I mean the hug is definitely a clue," she giggles, letting him pull her through the door.

"No, Maya," He shuts the door, cradling her to his chest, "I mean you have no idea how happy you make me."

She opened her mouth to speak, floored. He smiled, leaning to brush a strand of hair from her face, "You are my light, Maya Hart. My whole world."

"Josh I-" She started, blinking as he shook his head, lacing their fingers together.

"Listen to me," He looked into her eyes, expression earnest, "I'm so sorry."

She caught his lips with hers, arms wrapping around his neck to draw him closer. Their lips melded together, tongues clashing. He grinned against her, one hand dropping to the small of her back, pressing her to him. She pulled back, gasping for air, "Wow."

Josh was beaming, "Everything's better after a fight."

She sniggered, "I have to counter that logic. Mostly because I wouldn't put it past you to stage a fight just so you could make up with me."

He cocked his head, fingers lifting her shirt to brush against the bare skin above her jeans, "Would you like some proof?"

She leaned into his touch, mind hazy with the happiness of the moment, "Always"

"Maya."

Josh stopped dead at the door to his bedroom, eyes sweeping over her body. He turned, groaning, "Put some clothes on," he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it at her, "And get out of my bed."

She sniggered, "I don't see how you losing clothing helps your case, Matthews."

He grunts, rubbing his temples, "You're testing my honor, Hart."

Rolling her eyes, she picks up the shirt and throws it at the back of his head, "Yeah, well, you're testing my patience."

He puts his face in his hands, shaking his head, "Please don't be like this Maya."

She stands up, feeling the cool air of the room against her naked body, "It has been weeks since my eighteenth. What are you waiting for?"

He shrugs her hand off of his bare shoulder, "I want you to be ready, Maya. I don't want you to do this for me."

She barked out a laugh, "Yeah, no, that's definitely not what's happening here."

He spins around, looking her straight in the eye, "What is happening here, then?"

"I love you. I want you," she wraps tentative arms around his neck, drawing him closer, "I want this with you, Josh.'

She watched in fascination as he held onto the last drop of internal struggle in his body, "I want it to be special, love."

She pressed her lips to his, startled when he returned the kiss with a ferocity matching her own. She laced their fingers, pulling him down to the bed. The room was filled with their heavy breathing, as Maya felt around for the zipper of his jean.

She groaned as he stilled her hand, entwining her fingers, "This isn't the right time."

"You're killing me, boing," She huffed, shifting away from him, "When will be the right time?"

He grinned, wrapping her in his arms, pulling her to him, "You'll know it when you see it."

A/N: I used to know where this story was going, but I seem to have lost inspiration. Anyone who's still with me, suggestions are appreciated. Review? x