Summary: "Vastra and Jenny get left behind in the 21st Century by the Doctor. Cue the pair crashing Clara's apartment. Inflation and wild life documentaries"
Author's Notes: A long time ago I read this prompt from pirateboots and it got stuck in my brain. I simply had to write it!

How she's ended up in this disastrous situation Clara isn't really sure. She's just come back from going grocery shopping only to find a lizard woman dressed in a giant green hooded sweatshirt, sitting hypnotized in front of her tv-set, slowly melding into her sofa.
«Madame Vastra?» Asks Clara, seeing no movement from the woman.
«Please be silent, Miss Clara. This television of yours is a technological knickknack that surely can not miss from our household.» Exclaims the Silurian excited, clutching the remote in one of her large hands, as if some invisible foe could jump out of thin air to steal it away from her.
Clara takes a peek to verify that, yes, Vastra has stumbled upon the Discovery Channel. Her pupils are wide, her mouth open in surprise, the pop-corn bowl planted firmly on her crossed legs, her hand in the bowl, lifeless and forgotten in favour of having all her attention pointed to the documentary on reptiles on the screen. «Absolutely astounding!»
Jenny joins her spouse on the sofa while Clara moves to the kitchen to put the groceries away.

About those groceries. It had been the most stressful and difficult hour of the girl's life. Walking through the Doctor's 11 lives? Easy as pie when compared to a Victorian woman who, enraged by the living cost of modern life, demands to speak to the manager. She had seemed so happy upon first seeing such a big indoor market, such had been her name for it initially. And then something had snapped, cracked inevitably to the point of no return. After the first infatuation passed, Jenny ended up loathing that place.
«To shame! With so many starving on the streets!» She had exclaimed seeing the price of fennels, her shock set so deep Clara thought her eyes would pop out of her head.
«Jenny calm down, inflation has skyrocketed lately, you can't expect prices to be the same as they were over a hundred years ago.» She had tried to reason without much luck.
«There must be someone we can talk to.» Jenny had stated after having scrutinized the prices for a while longer, walking off to find the thug responsible for this robbery.
«You, boy!» She had thundered, walking up to a young bagboy, wielding a carrot as a cudgel while Clara ran after her, afraid of being thrown out of her favourite grocery store, silently thanking her lucky stars Jenny wasn't wearing her katana.
«Yes, Miss?» Had asked the confused pimply boy.
«Mrs, if you please. I am a married woman. Furthermore, would you care to explain the prices on this food? A hundred years ago these carrots would have cost a tenth of what you're trying to extort for them.»
Clara had finally managed to reach her and had grabbed her by the shoulder to hold her back while the young boy was pleading with her to save her from this wildly shouting lunatic.
«She's been away from England for a long time, a really long time. Almost feels like a hundred years, doesn't it, Jenny.» She let out a nervous laugh hoping the boy would buy it.
The boy had seen fit to call the manager after a while longer and the smart man had let them have a discount on the prices once Jenny had agreed to stop threatening people with vegetables.
Happy with her victory Jenny had walked home with a spring in her step and a grin on her face, followed closely by an embarrassed Clara.

Clara looks at herself in the mirror for the first time after that crazy day – her hair is a mess, dishevelled and making her look like a lunatic, the dark circles under her eyes suddenly looking deeper and darker, her gaze dimmed by tiredness.
One moment the two had been with the Doctor on some damned planet at some damned point or other in time and next thing she knew they were all parked in her flat in 2015. And he rambled away on some new quest, forgetting to drop them off back home. That's how she found herself babysitting a lizard woman and her
lockpicking-thugcooking-carrotwielding wife. It simply couldn't be worse.
She walks back to the living room where she find Jenny peacefully sleeping with her head on her wife's lap where once had been the popcorn bowl. Vastra stares unflinchingly at the screen, unaware of the changes around her, her hand now resting on her wife's face in the exact same place it had rested on the bowl before.
Clara lets herself fall on the armchair, resigned to the idea of having to watch hours of documentaries before dinner.

"Reptilian's sexual behaviour…" As soon as these words comes from the tv, the Silurian jumps up, waking a confused Jenny who, only half awake, tries to hit her assailant with the phantom carrot-cudgel she thinks she's still holding.
The Silurian has no time to notice it however, busy as she is looking for the remote, trying spasmodically to switch channel, her mouth letting out meaningless sounds.
Her face shows in embarrassment shades of a previously unseen dark green and in her confusion she's unable to turn the infernal machine off, only managing to make it worse by turning the volume up.
«What kind of society do you live in, Miss Clara?! Such filth openly shown before supper? I though this an advanced time for humanity, but it's imbued with immorality and obscenity!» She huffs, trying to talk over the discovery channel zoologist now showing, for all the world to see, the reproductive organs on a small lizard. Jenny starts looking interested at the screen all of a sudden and Clara cannot hold back her bark of laughter anymore. This only makes things worse and Vastra storms off, hiding out in her room until dinner time.

Once everyone is ready for bed, Vastra and Jenny warmly thank Clara for giving them her bed and choosing to sleep on the pop-corn covered sofa. With a sigh Clara makes her bed for the night, and lies down absolutely tired and happy the day is finally over. She needs her beauty sleep more than ever.
She has just shut her eyes and has finally managed to relax when she hears some unmistakable noises coming from her bedroom. She listens carefully for more, thinking she must have surely misheard. A few soft sounds escape the closed door again. For as careful as they are trying to be, some light sound is inevitably made and it makes Clara blush to the top of her ears.
Vastra and Jenny are having some rather satisfying marital sex in her own bed. She tries to make no noise standing up from her sofa. She walks outside, to her balcony, hoping the noises won't reach her there. She's not bothered that the two women love each other, that's not the point. But she just lost Denny and she had promised him those three words would be his forever. Seeing others being so in love only made her feel even more keenly how she will never hold the one she loves again. And she can't even talk to her best friend who is god knows where in the universe on his magic blue box.
A cold gush of wind hits her in the face and she knows there is no point in freezing half to death when she knows perfectly well that the two women inside could go on for hours.
Resigned, she walks back in the apartment. She reaches the bathroom on tiptoes and holds her breath while trying to noiselessly open the door. She opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out her earplugs, carefully trying not to drop the million different bottles that separate her from the waxy salvation. The more she tries to be careful, the more loudly they seem to smash against one another, making a terrible noise. The mouthwash hits the lotion that falls on the Q-tips that tumble to the floor in a white cotton waterfall. As she bends to pick them up she smashes her head on the cabinet mirror and has to bite her tongue not to scream her frustration out loud.
Once her fingers finally reach the small box she was looking for she realizes the noises in her apartment have slowly morphed into those of Vastra's soft snoring.
«Dammit!» Swears Clara walking back to the sofa, where she can finally rest after a day it would be better to forget. She sends a silent prayer to the doctor to come take her wards back.