Chapter 11: Demons

"I recieved word someone was coming to kill me. I didn't realize it would be a ghost," Nassana said, quickly regaining her composure after Shepard and his squad had walked through a small army of Eclipse mercenaries to stand before her, guns drawn.

"You really thought I came all this way for you? You really are conceited, Nassana," Shepard said. "If I'd known what kind of person you were back on the Citadel I wouldn't have been nearly as helpful. As it is, you're just another person that has something I need."

While they were talking the human had noted the barest hint of movement above them, the sound of metal warping faintly from weight being placed on it. Rather than draw attention to it, he kept talking.

"You have quite the racket going with the Eclipse sisters. Their little murder club does your dirty work,and you keep them in supply of shiny guns and drugs," he commented.

During their inexorable drive up Dantius' tower they had run across a young asari that claimed to have faked her 'initiation', a murder done solely to join Eclipse. Only later had they found evidence that she had simply been a skilled liar. Something in his gut had done an unpleasant twist when they found that log. All he'd done and still he'd let another murderer run free.

The asari scowled. "What do you want then, Spectre?"

"You used your contacts and Eclipse's muscle to smuggle a woman off planet that you knew a justicar was hunting. I need to know what ship she was on."

"That damn high-bound bitch," Nassana snarled. "All of this because of her mindless devotion to a long irrelevant code that should have died on our homeworld before we ever reached the stars?"

Movement again, this time a moments shadow over the light filtering through an ventilation grate. Shepard shook his head.

"No, that wasn't my only reason. But it's the one that should matter to you."

"Fine," she hissed, leaning forward to tap a few keys on the terminal before her. "The data is ready to transmit, just give me an address. Ship name, registry, logged and not logged destinations."

He glanced to his right. "Tali?"

The quarian activated her own omni-tool, tapping a button with one finger, shotgun still in hand. "I've got it, Shepard."

"You have what you came for. Are you going to get the hell out of my business or do you have some sort of stupid code of honor of your own I'm going to have to deal with?"

Shepard shook his head and stepped back, lowering his gun. "No, I said I didn't come here to kill you, Nassana, and I was telling the truth. I'm not going to kill you."

A slim formed dropped soundlessly behind one of the guards. The newcomers movements were swift but controlled, hands grasping chin and head, the snap of a neck filling the silence until a second guard made a sound of alarm. A single shot from his pistol and the other collapsed. Dantius whirled to face the attacker, snatching a pistol up from her desk, only to find him inches from her. His own weapon pressed just beneath her breastbone. One more shot and the asari jerked, the assassin releasing his weapon and catching her, eased her gently onto the desk.

The assassin was lithe but clearly strong, showing no effort in the near silent struggle that had just taken place. He was a drell, a race Shepard had only encountered briefly before. His skin was made up of fine green scales, eyes black orbs that only added to his reptilian appearance. He folded his hands in front of him, head bowed in prayer. After a few moments of silence Shepard spoke.

"Prayer?"

He nodded. "A hope for absolution of the fallen."

"I don't think she's much deserving absolution. She was a monster that used people like currency."

"Not for her," he said, looking up finally. "For me."

The drell seemed to study Shepard and the rest, dark eyes drifting across them. As if passing judgement he nodded. "Two humans, a quarian, and a turian. Your odd team provides quite the effective diversion."

"You knew we were here all along?" Shepard asked, giving a hand signal. Kasumi materialized next to Tali, arms crossed over her chest.

"Not until you started shooting, but when you did I took advantage of the situation. It made this much simpler as the target seemed to dedicate the majority of her protection to defeating you. Now I must also wonder what interest such people have here, aside from a simple shipping manifest."

"My name is John Shepard, commander of the Normandy," he said and stepped forward, holstering his sidearm. "I have been told you are the best, Thane Krios. That's what I need. I'm on a mission to stop a race called the Collectors that have been abducting entire human colonies. They're a threat, not just to humanity but to everyone in this galaxy."

"An audacious task," the drell said, turning and gazing out the window. Outside Ilium's great city was once more awash in the sun's last rays, the faint glow of lights seen in the shadows cast by the towers.. "This was to be my last job. A way to help cleanse the galaxy before the end. I am a dying man."

"Dying?" Garrus asked incredulously.

Thane turned back and nodded. "I can explain at another time. It is an illness that will not inhibit my abilities for some time yet and it is not dangerous to your crew."

"A man's life and death are his own business so long as it doesn't endanger others," Shepard said. "Does this mean you'd be interesting in taking a job? You say you want to cleanse the galaxy. I can't think of a much better way."

"You seem to be a wise man, Commander Shepard. I will join you. No fee, my body and soul are one in this," the assassin said. They shook hands, sealing the agreement such that it was.

"Glad to have you on the team, Thane. I'll send you the information you need to gain access to the Normandy," he agreed. "We still have some business to conclude on Illium, but I suspect we will be leaving in a day or so."

"Understood. I have little to tie up, I have no ties here. I will gather what personal possessions I have and meet you upon your vessel."

With that Thane took his leave, walking out the front door. With the mercenary unit so devastated there was little danger remaining. With any luck they would be able to appropriate one of the late Nassana's aircars, otherwise they'd have to call detective Anaya for a ride. Garrus glanced over at him and shrugged.

"Dying religious assassin philosopher. Just the type you seem to attract, Shepard. I swear you could find a polite krogan if you looked hard enough."

"I seem to attract some rather unique individuals," he said, giving his team a tired smirk. "Come on, let's go give the detective some good news."


Thankfully for everyone's comfort they had been able to secure an aircar from Nassana's garage rather than calling Anaya and trying to cram into the back of the police cruiser once more. Shepard felt his face flush again at the memory of the very awkward ride to the tower, his knee still twinging with pain occasionally.

It had been strange, in a way. For all they'd been through and what they had done just in the time since he'd awoken on a Cerberus space station Shepard had actually had more physical contact with people trying to kill him than anyone he'd have called friend. If someone assaulted him with a knife he knew how to react. But Tali's weight against him, the feel of the arm around her waist, the long moment when the car had stopped, that was something he wasn't prepared for.

Pushing his confused thoughts aside, he concentrated on flying the car. It was something simple, something he could focus on. Learning to fly had been an intrinsic part of his childhood. Shepards were a military family, had been since man had first set foot in space. He had been born in space, it had been oddly fitting that he had died there as well.

Shepard shuddered at the memory, his chest tightening for a moment as those last moments flashed in his mind. At last he eased the aircar to the ground, noticing Garrus looking at him.

"You alright, Boss?"

"Yea, just... nothing. Odd feeling is all," he said. Tali and Kasumi quickly made their way out of the backseat, his turian companion giving him a look that said he wasn't buying it before he did the same. He didn't press the matter, instead just falling in behind while Tali took her place to his right. Kasumi for her part seemed incapable of just being still and constantly moved about.

"Well, that was much smoother than the last time. Not as exciting, though," Kasumi said as they approached the security building. He could only shake his head. It seemed the thief was intent on fomenting mischief wherever she could.

The building housing this district's police and security force was a bustle of activity, half a dozen individuals in Eclipse armor were seen cuffed, heads bowed. Apparently they had been busy in the hours since he and his team had been gone. A quick request for directions later found him standing at detective Anaya's desk. Samara sat behind her, back pressed against a stone column. Apparently the detective had decided better than putting a justicar in a cell.

"You're back? Wonders never cease. I heard something heavy was going down in Dantius towers," Anaya asked, mock surprise coloring her tone, before speaking more quietly. "Tell me you got something?"

"I think you'll be happy with the result of our little expedition," Shepard said, nodding at Tali.

"I'm already pretty pleased. I don't know what you did, but its broken the back of Eclipse in this district. Those ones you saw coming in actually turned themselves in for protection."

Whether they were afraid of him or their superiors he wasn't sure, but it was an interesting result nonetheless. During the entire exchange Samara simply watched quietly. Tali picked up a datapad while they spoke, activating her omni-tool and quickly copying data and handing the pad to Shepard.

"Samara, contained here you'll find all of the information for a ship called the Demeter. That was the vessel that smuggled your criminal off-world. This will give you its destination, cargo, and any other important information," he said, tossing the datapad to the justicar who caught it deftly.

"I think if you'll allow the detective to take a look at it she'll also have some interesting evidence regarding Eclipse and the late Ms. Dantius' smuggling operations," he continued with a frown.

Anaya arched a brow at him. "The late Ms. Dantius?"

"Indeed. It seems we just weren't fast enough to prevent her assassination. A tragedy, of course," Garrus quipped.

Samara stood, still having said nothing, and placed the datapad on the desk before the detective. She moved around the desk until she stood before Shepard. Every move she made seemed to flow like water, no wasted effort, just grace.

"You have fulfilled our agreement, Commander, and have also removed a blight from this corrupt world. With this information I know now where to continue my hunt," Samara said. "Now I would fulfill my end of the bargain."

The justicar knelt, her body glowing faintly with power. When she spoke it was deep, level. "I vow to follow you, Commander Shepard, until your quest is complete. Your morals are my morals. Your will is my Code."

The surprise in the other asari's voice was genuine this time. "I've never heard of a justicar swearing an oath like that."

"It is not known, but in this way the Code will not interfere with the mission," Samara said as she stood. "Though if I am forced to do anything too dishonorable I will be forced to kill you when the mission is complete."

"Oh, that's reassuring. I don't think that will go over well with with rest of us," Tali said, visibly bristling.

The asari only smiled. "I know of Shepard's reputation, I foresee no reason for this to come to pass. Do not worry, young quarian. I have no intention of harming your hesh'la."

He noticed Tali stiffen next to him. The word was unfamiliar, but then most of the quarian words he'd gotten out of Tali to date involved her saying something untoward to whatever piece of machinery wasn't bending to her will as it should be.

"He's... just... it's not the best way to start a conversation by threatening the commanding officer," she replied.

"I was merely providing warning. It would be unfair if I did not," Samara said.

He placed a hand on Tali's shoulder. "My friends and I have just been threatened a few too many times. I'm sure there won't be a problem. My ship is the Normandy, she's docked not far from here. We picked up another recruit that should be on his way there was well."

"Very well. I will make any arrangements necessary here and then join you on your vessel," the justicar said.

With that said Samara quickly left, not even bothering to ask for further information. He supposed that she could manage to find the ship on her own. Before he could follow the detective caught his attention with a hand on his arm.

"You're alright, Shepard. Wouldn't have expected a human to be the one to pull my blue ass out of the fire."

"We're not all bad," Shepard replied with a halfhearted smirk. "And I couldn't let Nassana's machinations ruin more lives."

The asari nodded. "Still, you went above and beyond. I don't have much to offer in return, I transferred what little I had in the discretionary bounty fund to an account in your name. One other thing, there's a bar just off the trading floor, fairly decent place. You'll find an asari woman tending bar there, real character. Just tell her who you are and the drinks are on the house."

"I appreciate it. Nice working with you detective, driving skills and all," he said.

"I help where I can," she responded with an odd smirk.

When they stood outside the security office Garrus tapped him on the shoulder, gesturing to his omni-tool. "Got a message from Liara. Said she was reviewing the data we sent and that she'd be free in a couple hours if we could stop by her offices."

"So back to the ship, I guess?" Tali asked.

He stopped for a moment, thinking. Shepard shook his head, turning around to look at his squad. "I don't think so. I think you've all earned a drink after what we pulled off today."

"Ooh, free drinks now? Joining up seems like a better idea every day," Kasumi said.


The bar was the same one that they had met Miranda's contact in the day before, a spacious affair that seemed to be populated by the same variety of races that had been on the trade floor. Anaya's bartender friend turned out to be not just an asari, but a matriarch named Aethyta. He got quite an interesting bit of history regarding her krogan father and asari mother, as well as an earful of opinion on the current state of asari politics.

"I can't help but agree with you there. People are too willing to stick their heads in the sand," Shepard said.

The matriarch snorted. "Yep. And that's why I'm here tending a bar. At least I feel like I accomplished something at the end of the day. Speaking of, here's your drinks. Sealed tube is for the quarian, think you can figure out the two human drinks. Don't eat the red nuts either, they might look tasty but they're dextro. Turians and quarians."

"Right... but the quarians can't eat them anywhere, not sterilized."

"Anything can be sterilized if you're willing to shell out the credits," Aethyta said, producing another tube from beneath the counter, single stacked with the same red nuts. "Here, on the house same as the drinks."

"Thanks," he said, sticking the tube in the back of his belt. Tali had been a little on edge the past day or so and after the incident in the car he figured a little surprise wouldn't hurt her. Grabbing up the drinks he headed to the table that Garrus had claimed.

"Here we go, one round of liquid celebration," Shepard announced as he sat the drinks down and taking his seat.

"What are you drinking, Boss?" Garrus asked.

"It's a human liquor called Maker's Mark. They actually had quite a selection of human alcohol. Even your martini, shaken not stirred, Kasumi," he replied, pushing the glass towards her.

The thief smirked. "Told you. It's universal."

Tali for her part was eyeing the tube before her with suspicion. She picked it up, examining the seals, peering at the liquid inside with glowing eyes that shone through her visor. Finally Garrus spoke up, popping a few of the red nuts from the bowl on the table into his mouth and crunching noisily.

"Tali, I'm sure its fine. An asari matriarch isn't going to try to kill you with unsterilized food."

"I suppose. Also it's not like I drink a great deal. A little turian wine is all that is usually found on the Flotilla," she replied. "Plus I think I'm entitled to paranoia. The nuts sitting in the open air have a 'for quarians and turians' stamp on them."

"Yea, that is sort of a dick move, because they are tasty," Garrus said. "I'm sure you can get some sterilized ones."

The quarian made a small disgusted sound. "Probably, at ten times the price. Did you know the Fleet isn't even allowed to come within a certain distance of Illium? Then they provide 'quarian safe' food and drink, but charge so much for the sterilization that no quarian can afford it."

"Tali, you do realize that we are working for a ridiculously well-funded human organization, right?" Kasumi questioned. "I think they can afford some nuts. Really girl, you need to live."

"It's not worth it," Tali responded, shrugging. Finally apparently satisfied with the safety of her drink she slotted it into the feeding tube on the underside of her mask and took a sip. "It's kind of sweet."

Shepard shook his head. Save the galaxy and the girl doesn't think she's worth buying some actual food. He wondered if all quarians had the same opinion. Rather than ask and put her on the spot he simply produced the tube from his back and slid it across the table to her.

"Well, I'll argue the 'worth it' part, but it's an especially moot point when you've got a free pass from the bartender. Plus I think she likes Garrus," he said with a wink at the turian, causing him to nearly choke on his drink.

Tali looked up in surprise when the tube bumped into her hands. "Oh! You... didn't need to do that, but thank you. It's been quite awhile since I had food that wasn't some variety of paste."

The four of them sat in comfortable silence for awhile. Tali had replaced the drink with the tube of nuts and was happily munching on them, the faint crunch audible even through her helmet along with the faint sounds of satisfaction. Shepard slowly sipped at his own drink, feeling the liquid burn a path to his stomach. It was a pleasant, familiar warmth.

"You know you're not quite what I expected when the Illusive Man hired me, Shepard," Kasumi said.

"Oh? Dare I ask what you expected?"

"Oh you know, you were the poster boy for awhile. Big tough Alliance hero, yadda yadda. Would have figured you'd be far more stuck up. More regulations, less wisecracks."

He thought for a moment. In his conversations with Kasumi since the Citadel he had learned a few things, mostly that there was far more beneath the surface than just her cheerful attitude and disregard for authority. Whenever she mentioned her old partner he had heard the change in her voice. Being a professional thief might not be the most popular line of work, but something told him she was far more trustworthy than any Alliance politician.

"As these two can tell you, I am not much for regulation. For your rank and file soldiers? Fine. Discipline is needed to keep everyone alive. But we've left the normal behind. Trying to fit everything into a conveniently sized box just wastes time," he explained, gesturing at the table. "I don't need people that just follow orders with a 'yes sir!'."

Shepard continued, looking between Garrus and Tali sitting across from him. He felt his voice crack for a moment but continued on. "The people I served with aboard the original Normandy weren't subordinates. They were friends. They followed orders because they trusted me, not because I had commander bars on my shoulder, or so I like to think."

"In Japanese there is a term that has come to mean something similar over the years," Kasumi said quietly. "Nakama. It means colleagues or partner, but the connotation is of loyalty and trust. 'Family that is not'."

"I think we can all agree with that," Garrus said, raising his drink. Shepard smiled faintly and clinked his glass against Garrus', then Tali and Kasumi did the same.

"It is very different, being part of a team," the thief said. "But I think I could learn to like it."

"If you hang around Shepard you had better. He has that effect on people," Tali said.

His omni-tool beeped, forestalling any further conversation. Shepard sat his drink down and activated the interface, seeing what was apparently a call from Liara. He activated the link.

"Shepard. Thank you taking my call, I wanted to confirm some information with you," Liara greeted him.

"Of course. We were going to come see you soon, actually."

"Good, Garrus did get my message. I was just looking at the data and noticed some discrepancies. I could have waited until you arrived but was impatient. When reviewing this did you spend any time really sifting through it?"

"No, actually. Tali was the one that got the info," he said sheepishly.

"Oh! Well, is she there with you?"

He motioned Tali over so she could look over his shoulder at the small screen. "Of course."

"Ah, I see. Tali was this all the data from the three systems I had asked Shepard to access?"

"Yes," the quarian replied simply. Samples of that data began to scroll above Liara's face on the call while Shepard tried to absorb it as quickly as possible.

"These are all communications from the agent to the Shadow Broker reporting on the status of agents here on Illium. But this just doesn't add up."

The realization hit him suddenly. "The agent is a woman. All the people she's referring to are male. Liara, where did you get the tip for this information?"

"Nyxeris sent it... Nyxeris gave it to me! I have to go, Shepard!"

"Dammit, Liara wait! We can-"

The line was already cut, however. Standing quickly Shepard checked his weapon and headed for the door, the rest of his team following behind him without a word. As soon as they had stepped outside the bar he broke into a run. Four well-armed people running across the trade floor might earn some looks, but he wasn't terribly concerned about propriety at this point.

He took the steps leading to Liara's office two at a time, gesturing at the now empty desk where Liara's receptionist sat. "Garrus, cover the door. Kasumi, Tali stay behind me."

A loud crash came from within the office. Not waiting any longer he slammed a fist on the door controls and stalked in, a gun in each hand. He scanned the room quickly, only to find Liara standing in front of her desk, body aglow with biotic power. Her double-agent assistant hovered in midair, held by the other asari's biotic field.

"Give me a name!" Liara yelled.

The hovering woman grimaced in pain, but still managed to give a look of contempt. "You never even... knew mine. You think you... can stop... him?"

"I know I can."

"Ha! You can kill me... or let me go, either way you'll never... learn a damned... thing," Nyxeris hissed.

"So be it."

Anger flashed in Liara's eyes, no not just anger, rage. Her fingers curled into a claw and then she gestured to the side viciously. Azure light flared and the hapless spy flew across the room. With an echoing crack she slammed into the wall, slumping to the ground lifelessly as the biotics faded. Liara simply stood, breathing heavily a faint look of satisfaction on her face.

Shepard's voice was low, calm. "Tali, take Kasumi and Garrus back to the ship."

"Shepard-"

"Just do it, Tali. Liara and I need to talk."

The quarian nodded, motioning for Kasumi to follow. He had begun to learn her body language again, he could tell she wasn't happy with his decision, but she did it anyways. The door slid shut behind him, leaving the room illuminated by the faint glow the consoles around them, the occasional beep and the sound of breathing filling the silence.

"I thought it was threats and posturing before, Liara. I never thought I'd see you execute someone for refusing to give you information."

The asari looked at him for a long moment before speaking. "She tried to kill me. I merely fought back. She was good, but her barriers needed practice. Practice she won't be getting now."

"Fought back? You had her helpless. Say what you want to the authorities but don't lie to yourself. That was an execution."

"And?" Liara said, walking up to him, meeting his eyes. Anger still smoldered there. "I've seen you kill before. I know what you did to the Purgatory. Garrus told me about Dr. Saleon even. And you have the gall to stand there sounding appalled because I killed some spy for the Shadow Broker?"

"You think I enjoyed doing those things?" he asked. He could feel his own anger rising in response to her attitude. "You think I want to close my eyes at night and remember the faces of the people I've killed?"

"Oh, so why did you do it then? It was your choice, you decided to play the part of the goddess. Commander Shepard, taker of life," the asari hissed, stabbing a finger at his armored chest.

He snatched up her wrist, feeling his jaw tighten. His voice came out as a shout. "I did it so someone else wouldn't have to! You're right, I decided to play god. I took their lives, the blood is on my hands, blood I can never wash away. And it changed me every time I did it, what's your excuse?"

Liara yanked her wrist from his grip, tears in her eyes now. Her response was a whisper. "You."

The asari walked away, leaning on her desk, not facing him. For his part he was too stunned to reply. Had he made her this way? Seeing the things he had done had made her kill so casually? She wasn't an impressionable child, she was three times his age. It didn't make any sense.

"Me? How could I have turned you into this... into someone obsessed?"

"Shepard. The things you don't know," she laughed, it was a sound devoid of any warmth or joy. "You died, you left us all. Did you know that even after you were dead that the Collectors went in search of your body?"

The Collectors? He couldn't fathom why they would have wanted his corpse. "I don't understand."

"Of course you don't. I'm sure Cerberus didn't tell you how they got your body either," she said. Liara began to pace, occasionally turning to look at him. "You want to know why I became what I am? Because this is what you made me, John."

The way she said his name, it was like acid on bare skin. She paced, continuing. "Everyone knew you were dead and gone, but I heard that people were looking for you despite it. Heard that the Collectors wanted your body. So I did everything in my power to stop them. I hunted your remains across space."

"You brought me to Cerberus?"

"Yes. They were looking for you too, said that you were needed. That the galaxy needed Commander Shepard to lead them. And I agreed. But bringing a man back to life is no easy task, especially when the Shadow Broker is trying to sell his remains to the Collectors."

She leaned, half sitting, on the edge of her desk. Liara's head was bowed while she spoke. "I had help from various sources, and we finally tracked you down. The Shadow Broker's agents were in the middle of selling you off to the Collectors. In the chaos that followed... the man that had been helping me find you for this entire mad quest stayed behind so I could escape."

"You inspire such loyalty, John. A man that never met you gave himself over to death, torture, or worse so that you could have the slimmest chance at another life. He was a friend. So when I left you with Cerberus I came here, I spent the last two years breaking down the Shadow Broker's operation piece by piece."

"And so to hunt him, you became your mother? I didn't want that, Liara. I would never..." he said, voice a raspy whisper. There were tears in his own eyes as she spoke, seeing her expression change like she had been slapped. The anger and loss in her voice, the undercurrent of accusation and guilt. Too many people had died for him. Liara had become a killer for him.

"You didn't have to ask. People just did it, because we needed you. The galaxy needed you. What's a few more lives for one man's destiny?"

"My father died a long time ago, Liara. But one thing he always told me was that people made their own choices in life. I've made my choices, you made yours. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for your friend, for what you had to do because you ever met me," Shepard said, his words choked. "But I won't take responsibility for the lives you take on a quest for vengeance against the Shadow Broker."

"What, is the blood on my hands too dirty for you, Commander?" she asked, holding up her hands; pale, blue, and delicate.

"No, but it's not something I can wash away anymore than I can my own," Shepard whispered. He raised a hand as if to touch her, but thought better of it, dropping his hand to his side. "Too many people have died for me already. Don't let it consume you, don't become another one."

"Damn you, Shepard."

He smiled sadly. "I already am. Goodbye, Liara."


Tali found herself being dragged out of engineering before she could even voice a protest. Garrus had her by the arm, and because it was him he still possessed a functioning arm. Anyone else would have been lying on the floor cradling a broken appendage before they made it to the door.

"Garrus! What are you doing? Where we going?"

The turian shook his head, ridges furrowed in concern. "I just got a call from detective Anaya on behalf of her bartender friend."

"Did something happen?"

"You can say that. Shepard never came back to the ship after his meeting with Liara," he growled. "It turns out he's spent the last three hours in that bar."

"Maybe he just needed some time alone. We said it ourselves earlier, he's been pushing himself."

"I'd agree with you. Except for the fact that the bartender said he'd been drinking since he got there and was getting increasingly erratic. Last report was he had some asari a foot off the floor by her neck because she apparently thought he was Alliance military and would be interested in buying her quarian 'indentured servant'."

"Oh keelah!" Tali exclaimed. "We need to hurry."

Garrus simply nodded. "The rest of the crew doesn't need to see this. We need to get and get him back before he causes a damn diplomatic incident."

The two of them tried to make a show of not running headlong for the airlock, instead moving calmly until they stepped onto Illium's streets. Then it was a headlong dash through the thankfully thinner crowds of Illium's nightlife. Before long they had made it to the entrance of the bar, stepping into a scene of minor chaos. People were milling about, but not running.

Shepard stood near one side of the bar, a very unhappy looking asari leaning heavily against the wall, rubbing her neck. A few feet away was a quarian woman, her environment suit the typical black with shades of blue and gray swirled into her veil. She kept glancing nervously between Shepard and the asari. At Shepard's feet were a pair of men in light combat armor, a human and a turian. Neither seemed to be conscious.

"F-Fine, I'm sorry. Here, I'm filing the paperwork now. Just..." the asari stammered, coughing. "Just give it a second to process."

"Garrus, keep an eye on the door, I'll try to get Shepard away from the crowd," Tali said. The turian nodded and moved back, shooing people away and breaking up the crowd. The altercation seemed to be over so their attention was waning as it was. She approached the quarian woman, speaking in her native tongue after disabling her translators.

"Fleet-sister!" she hissed urgently, placing a hand on the other quarian's arm. "What's going on?"

The other quarian jumped but managed not to panic. There was a sound of relief in her voice at seeing another of her people. "Keelah, sister! We were in this bar... the asari woman s-she's my own- I mean contract holder."

She hung her head. "I... I came here on my Pilgrimage, I thought the asari would be nice to one of our p-people. But then I got involved in the trading... and I thought I had a way to make so much money. I w-would have come back to the Flotilla with a brand new ship, the first in so long. But I was wrong. And then I needed to take a loan to cover losses... and then an... extension from less reputable people. B-By the time it was over I had to sign an indentured servitude contract otherwise the man I borrowed money from said he'd... he'd do things to me."

"And... the human, here? How did he become involved?" Tali questioned.

The girl's glowing eyes widened beneath her smokey gray visor and her voice lost some of its hesitation. "Synthetic Insights was supposed to b-buy me, but they backed out. The asari saw the human in armor and thought that he was Alliance. She tried to offer me to him as an AI programmer or a... personal assistant. Just something to make her money back on me. But he got so angry. He said nobody deserved to be owned just because they made a mistake. He even tried to buy my contract from her!"

"But she wouldn't sell, said that if I was freed early it would cause penalties and fees for her as the broker. Something about... bad for business, if people went around releasing people from contracts."

Tali nodded. "Just stay here and be calm."

She moved over to where Shepard was standing over the asari, his hands balled into tight fists. He looked unmovable standing there, but Tali noticed the waver in his stance, the way his leg seemed to shake with strained effort. Tali reached out for his arm.

"Shepard," she prompted.

He turned, a little too suddenly for his impaired state, and staggered slightly before catching himself. The man's eyes were blurry, but brightened at the sight of her.

"Tali! Did you meet Qua... Quin'Sala?" he asked, his words slightly slurred. He glanced back down at the asari, his face darkening. "This... slaver bitch tried to sell her to me. Like ssshe was a ship part."

"That's not how indentured servitude works! We are very... conscientious of the rights of-"

Tali cut her off. "Get out of here while you still can and consider yourself lucky, bosh'tet."

At the harshness of her voice and another glance at the large, clearly upset human, she struggled to her feet and quickly slipped away. It didn't look like Shepard had ever drawn his weapon, but armed and armored he still cut a dangerous figure, even if drunk.

He chuckled, keeping himself balanced with hand on Tali's shoulder, and turned back to her. "I... think I jus' bought Quan'sala. B-But don't worry, I'm going to free her... jus' as soon as I figure out how to do that."

Tali shook her head. Something had clearly happened when he'd spoken to Liara, but here he was drunk and unhappy, but still trying to solve other people's problems. "That's great, but I think it's time to go back to the Normandy now."

"What? No, can't leave her behind. Left too many people behind... don't want to leave anyone," he muttered, trying to pull away. Before she could consider her action's she gave him a sharp slap across the face, jerking his attention back to her.

"Look at me, Shepard! She can come with us... we'll take her back to the Normandy, but you have to pay attention to me and do what I say," she said firmly.

Shepard gave her a very odd smile. "Yes, ma'am."

She looked over her shoulder. "Quin... er... Quan? Which is it?"

"Quin'Sala nar Vasta," the young quarian said, approaching. "Is he alright?"

"He'll be fine, sometimes humans just... over indulge," she explained, trying to guide Shepard to the door only to suddenly feel him stumble and wrap an arm around her shoulders. "Keelah! Can you help me?"

"Of course!" Quin said, moving to grab the man's other arm.

"Too late for that, ladies," a voice said from in front of them. Aethyta appeared from the crowd and pushed Quin'Sala aside, putting one of Shepard's arms over her shoulder. "Corp security is on its way, your captain has been downing Black Deaths for the past hour. Those things are slow but catch up quick."

"Black Death?" Tali asked, eyes wide.

The matriarch chuckled throatily. "Yea, human drink. Real dark liquor and an equally dark beer, I think might even be some other minor shit in there. Apparently named after a plague on their world. They say every third one kills you. He's been up and down all night, I don't know how he processes that much alcohol."

Tali had her suspicions. Most likely the cybernetics that Cerberus had put him as part of bringing him back helped him clear it out of his system faster than a normal human. It just mean he had to drink more.

"How many has he had?"

"Six."

What did Liara say to him? The matriarch was leading them towards the back, Shepard's weight heavy on her shoulder as his had lolled to the side. She could hear his breath through her speakers, even smell the alcohol on his breath even through the filters. He muttered as he struggled to put one foot in front of the other.

"Your veil always such a... pretty. Purple. Pretty purple. Heh. Always wanted to ask how... quarians chose."

"You want a lesson in quarian culture now? You are such a bosh'tet, Shepard," she grunted, now mostly dragging him. The matriarch was impressively strong, taking a good deal of his armored weight.

"I know," he whispered, voice thick.

"Goddess, your hesh'la weighs a ton. Come on, we'll lay him up in one of the private rooms in the back. Hopefully your turian is a good smooth talker," the matriarch said.

"That is the second time, today. He is not my hesh'la!"

Shepard seemed to regain a little lucidity, peering intently at Tali. "Sam-a-ra said that too. What's that mean?"

Aethyta laughed. "Means 'captain' big boy, well sort of. Hesh'alan literally means 'captain'. It's kind of slang, has some implications-"

"Enough," Tali hissed. They had finally reached the room. Thankfully Quin had been following them and hit the door controls so they could drag him inside. It was a barely lit room, a few couches and a table in the middle, clearly meant for a small private gathering. Shepard didn't quite make it to the couch, instead slumping down with his back against leg of one of the couches.

"Stay here, I'll go help your turian buddy soothe security. If all else fails I'll tell them you slipped out before they got here and he can sober up back here until morning," the matriarch ordered, then shut the door, leaving Tali and Quin'Sala with Shepard who was sitting on the floor, staring at his hands.

"Sorry, f-for all the trouble," Quin muttered. Tali shook her head.

"It's not your fault. We all get into trouble when we go on Pilgrimage, some more than others. You just got lucky and found the one man in the universe that gives a damn about everyone," she said, and then glanced back at the human sitting on the floor. He was flexing his fingers, as if testing they were still there. She was surprised to see what looked like a tear in the corner of one eye. "Everyone but himself, it seems."

"Thanks. I'll just, you know, sit over there for awhile and try to be quiet. I think your friend needs you more than I do."

Tali nodded and the other quarian paced over to settle on the opposite couch against the wall. Moving to where the commander sat, she eased herself down on the floor next to him and touched his arm lightly.

"Shepard? What's wrong?"

He looked at her, his expression lost, confused. His body was quickly burning through even the considerable amount of alcohol he had consumed, but it still hit him hard. "She... she was right, Tali. Keep going on, but other people... they pay."

"Who was right?" she asked.

"Liara. Said it was... me. Collectors wanted me... probably why they attacked in the first place," he said, leaning forward to hold his head in his hands. "Then she got my body back... took me to Cerberus. Even after I was dead... people dying for me... killing."

How could Liara say something like that to him? They had all be friends, allies, in the fight to defeat Saren. She even knew that Liara and Shepard had even been... close. Then to turn around and tell him that he was to blame for the change in her personality, it made sense now, what had pushed him over the edge. The look in his eyes now was the same one she'd glimpsed in the airlock aboard the Purgatory. Except now the alcohol kept him from walling up again.

Carefully she put a hand on his. "Shepard, she was wrong. Didn't you tell me that people were responsible for their own decisions?"

"She can't be wrong, Tali. All the evidence... all there in front of me. Kaidan dead. Presley dead. Liara becoming a killer. People don't deserve that," he continued to ramble, hand suddenly over hers, grasping it tightly. "Don't let it happen to you, Tali. You should... should go, take Quan'Sala... go back to the Fleet."

The idea of him sending her away felt like a knife in the gut, but she kept calm, even as she felt him rhythmically squeezing her hand as if to reassure himself it was still there. She knew he was drunk, rambling. He wouldn't really try to send her back to the Flotilla, would he? In that moment she realized she couldn't let that happen.

Tali shook her head and smiled sadly. "Her name is Quin'Sala, Shepard. And I'm not going anywhere. Neither is Garrus. Or Joker. Or even Kasumi or Miranda. We're your crew. Your friends. We make our own choices."

Her mind flashed back to Garrus' words, that someday he'd fall down and he'd need people that cared to help put him back together again. She had known it was true, then, but now that she saw the cracks in the man it truly hit home. The universe had asked everything, and he'd given it. Now it kept asking for more and it was finally starting to be more than he could carry.

He looked up finally, meeting her eyes once more. Most people didn't even bother with that courtesy with her people, but Shepard always had. His voice was cracked and weak.

"I'm sorry, Tali. I'm just... so tired. Every day... just wake up and wonder... if I'm me. If anyone else will die... because I'm not good enough."

Shepard's grip slackened on her hand, but he still didn't let go completely even as he seemed to slump slightly. She could feel his weight press against her side and she slipped her hand from his grip and around his armored shoulders. He slipped, but she caught him, easing him down until his head was across her lap.

"Then sleep... everyone is safe, John, you can sleep," Tali whispered. His first name felt almost foreign on her tongue, everyone always called him Shepard, but for some reason it just felt like the right thing to say. Her hand reached down and lightly brushed the side of his face.

After a few minutes of silence Tali realized he had actually fallen asleep, just laying there on the floor, his head against her leg. If Garrus walked in at that moment... no, it would be fine. For all his joking and smart comments he cared for Shepard too, he wouldn't speak of what had happened to anyone. Seeing the pain, the uncertainty in his eyes had cut her deeply.

The problem that Tali had now wasn't caring for the commander, she realized. Quite the opposite. Somewhere in watching him and fighting impossible odds along side him, seeing past the wall he put up to the man underneath, she had begun to feel more. The feeling in the aircar earlier hadn't been just embarrassment. It had been pleasure, enjoying the feel of his arm around her, of that closeness. Or even of the times he had spent just talking to her, not because he needed something but because he actually seemed genuinely interested in what she he to say.

Tali shook her head at her foolishness, cursing herself for letting it happen. Maybe in a moment of vulnerability like this she could help ease his pain, but more? It couldn't ever be. She was a member of his crew, a friend even, but that was all. The rest of the time she was a silly girl in a suit, with a face he couldn't see and skin he couldn't touch. It would be selfish to even tell him.

"You'll never know... I promise. You worry too much as it is, I won't burden you with anything else. You deserve so much more," Tali whispered to the darkness, fingers idly stroking his cheek.

"Is everything alright?" the other quarian asked. Tali jumped slightly, she had forgotten she was even there. Shepard mumbled something, but didn't awaken.

"It's nothing, Quin'Sala. Nothing at all."

Inside her helmet a tear rolled down her cheek.