Percy wasn't sure what he was expecting from the entrance to the Underworld, but he certainly didn't expect a boring-ass waiting room, like you'd find in a hospital or something like that. The only difference was that the waiters here were the dead, waiting to be taken to the Underworld by the fine gentleman at the huge desk.

"Hey there!" Percy greeted, trying to sound a bit cheery.

The man looked at him, unimpressed. He wore a really tacky suit that matched his hair and sunglasses that literally blocked everything; Percy could only see his own reflection. "…So how'd you three die?" his voice was bland, monotone. He'd clearly been here for a few hours or…eons…

Percy looked to Annabeth, realizing they hadn't come up with anything. "We, um…drowned," he said. "In a bathtub."

"A pool," Annabeth corrected.

The man looked at them, trying to decide whether he should believe them or not. "…fine. My name is Charon. I'll be your ferryman for today. Do you have payment?"

"Oh, um…" Percy reached into his pocket. "Let's see, I have…one, two…thirty-five cents, a thing of Silly Putty, um…Grover probably has a tin can, right?"

"He means drachmas," Riptide explained as Annabeth stepped forward and offered three.

"There, can we cross?"

The man looked down. "You're not dead, are you?"

"…"

"That's breaking the rules, mortals," the man, for a moment, got a lot taller, looming over the demigods.

"Screw the rules! We have money!"

Then, he shrunk back down again, as if he'd never grown or looked intimidating. "…whatever, it doesn't really matter to me. I don't get paid enough to filter through everyone who dies," he said as he stood. "Follow me."

What they saw, following that line, Percy would imagine seeing in a drug trip of some kind. Weird shapes flitted across his vision. People's skin melted off before him, leaving only skeletons. The trip was absolutely terrifying, and then it ended at the worst place known to mankind; a toll booth!

"Curses! The one place that interrupts the flow of a highway!"

The booth had three ways to go through, the EZ way, to the Garden of Asphodel, and then through two other ways. "I vote the easy way," Percy said, pointing to it.

"That's exactly what Hades would expect," Annabeth claimed. "We should try our hand at-"

"Sorry," Grover interrupted. "But being judged without actually being dead doesn't exactly sound like the best plan, you feel me?"

"No, I won't feel you."

"Shut up, Riptide," Percy said. "Anyway, what's this about judging?"

"To quote a game: the dead need guidance."

"The souls of the dead are judged by someone when they go through those gates," Annabeth explained, pointing to the two gateways other than the EZ one. "In myth it was by King Minos, but now, it could be Steve Jobs or…Michael Clarke Duncan, or-"

"Or maybe it was John Dye," Percy offered, chuckling a little. His partners just gave him strange looks.

"…Who?"

"Some…actor who my mom liked," Percy claimed. "I just thought it fit, since, you know…dye…whatever; you two have no sense of humor."

"I get it."

"Shut up, Riptide," Percy repeated. "Anyway, let's just get a move on," he said as he walked toward the EZ gate. "I don't really wanna be- oof!" Percy ran into something. "What the hell?" he felt it, finding it to be similar to a dog. "I'm petting Cerberus, aren't I?" Annabeth and Grover nodded slowly, backing away. Percy did the same, soon seeing three massive Rottweiler heads bearing down over him. It barked in his face, covering him with slobber. "Ew…" he complained. "Why don't you be a little more civil?" he demanded of it.

"Um, Percy…he said," Grover started. "That we should pray to whatever god we want…"

"He's gonna eat us?" Percy questioned, not really finding it to be surprising. "But we're in the Underworld, right? Where would we go?"

"Oh, Cerberus can eat souls too. We would just be his lunch," Annabeth claimed, backing away more. The two had left Percy by himself on this one.

"Okay…"

"Try petting him more. He didn't eat you when you did," Riptide offered. Compared to the big blank that Percy was drawing up at that point, it wasn't a bad idea.

"Here boy…" he said, reaching up. When he stood on his tip-toes, he just barely reached the dog's stomach. Still, he managed to be able to scratch a little. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cerberus' tail wagging slightly. "Oh, you like that?"

"He's insane," Annabeth said in disbelief, even seeing a smile form on Percy's lips.

"You just figured that out?" Grover said in return.

"Hey guys, come on, be friendly!" Cerberus knelt down and allowed the son of Poseidon to scratch under his chins, with the heads fighting over who would be scratched. Slowly, Annabeth and Grover slipped past them. Percy also got around to the dog's backside, and then stopped scratching. Cerberus looked back at him longingly. "Oh, Hades doesn't pet you enough, does he?" Cerberus whined in response. "I'll put in a word to him. I promise, and I'll come back when I can."

With that, Percy and the other two made it past the gates of the Underworld, leaving the meeting with Hades ahead.

xxxXXXxxx

On their way to Hades palace, however, the demigods had yet another unforeseen distraction. This time, Grover's shoes started acting up.

The palace was in sight, and Percy could feel Hades' presence waiting for them, when Grover fell over. "Come on, man," Percy said, helping him up.

"Sorry, Perce. Don't know what-" he didn't get to finish, as he fell down again. "What the…?" Suddenly, Grover was dragged feet-first away from Percy and Annabeth. The two immediately raced after him. "Maia! Maia, damn it!" he cried as the shoes dragged him down a slope.

"What's going on?" Annabeth questioned. "Is it the shoes?"

"Hell if I know," Percy returned, both of them sliding down after Grover. "Hey! Try and untie them!"

"Been trying that, man!" Grover yelled back.

Finally, about fifteen feet from a drop-off into an endless chasm, they caught Grover, mostly due to the fact that one of the shoes fell off. They got the other one off, and started back up to Hades' palace, when they felt…something. All three of them felt it, but none of them knew what it was. In any case, they knew it was bad news; they dashed back up the slope. The thing seemed to be speaking, but Percy couldn't understand it; he only knew that it wasn't speaking English or Greek. The primordial-sounding voice kept getting louder and louder, until a massive vortex of wind threatened to pull them back and into the chasm. About a second earlier, and they all would've fallen in.

The three took several deep breaths once they reached the top, all feeling absolutely done with this whole questing thing. "What was that?" Percy finally asked.

"I don't know, Perce. The shoes, they just…"

"They probably got sucked in by whatever was down there," Annabeth offered.

"But why just the shoes?"

"Maybe because they're godly? They're Hermes' shoes, remember?"

"Right…" Percy just kind of accepted the explanation, and then faced Hades' obsidian palace. Percy grabbed the three pearls, and handed one to Annabeth and Grover. Then, the three entered.

xxxXXXxxx

Hades: Lord of the Dead, Ruler of the Underworld, one of the Big Three Greek Gods. Percy was actually expecting something different, something more along the lines of Ares, but this guy was huge! At least twelve feet tall, sitting on a giant black throne made of charred and seared-together human remains. He glared down at the Half-Bloods with such contempt, such malice that Percy wanted to just kneel down and beg for death right there. He refrained, thankfully.

"Hades," Percy said, immediately getting a kick in the butt from Annabeth. He knew what he did wrong, and was thankful that the god didn't vaporize him. "Lord Hades," he bowed his head.

"…You come barging into my domain, you make it through my domain because of my mercifulness, and you don't even address me properly?"

"Lord Hades," Annabeth stepped forward. "It is an honor to be in your presence. Allow me to say that on my rude friend's behalf. I'm afraid he has no tact."

"Agreed, daughter of Athena. However, that doesn't excuse it. You three had better give me a good reason for you being here, or so help me I shall send you to the worst area of the Fields of Punishment."

"What does it entail?" Riptide asked jokingly.

"It entails your worst fears amplified by an infinite amount for all eternity," Hades answered. Percy raised his eyebrows.

"You can hear Riptide?"

"Well, he's a god, so yeah," the sword said it as if it were obvious.

"Perce," Grover said behind him. "Get on with it."

"R-right," Percy had almost forgotten. "Lord Hades, you know who I am?"

"Not really," he admitted.

"What? I'm…I'm Percy Jackson. Your lackeys called me a Cruel Spider," he offered, but the god looked unimpressed. "The son of Poseidon?" this one got the god interested.

"Are you?" he wondered. "So, my brother has broken the pact as well…but wait…you aren't claimed? Ha! It's a wonder you can even move a puddle, then! Perhaps in a different life, you could've been a halfway decent hero."

"Wait? You didn't know?"

"Should I have?"

"B-but…why'd you send your monsters after me?!" Percy demanded. Hades shot him a warning glance not to raise his voice at him. Percy quickly got the message. "Sir…"

"I sent them after you because you were the most likely culprit for the theft of Zeus' Master Bolt. You're a demigod, you were in New York. If I recall, you were actually in the Empire State Building on the day the bolt was stolen. Plus, you weren't under our supervision like the ones that came from your camp on a vacation."

"I was?" Percy didn't even remember. "So…you've been watching me for…no reason?"

"Well," Hades shrugged. "In hindsight, it's clear that you don't have the Master Bolt, but it is always a pleasure to see you heroes on your quest stumble and fall at the last moment. It's like what happened a few years back with that boy who tried to be Hercules. Ha!" the god burst into laughter at the thought. Annabeth clenched her fists, barely being able to contain her anger at the god's offhand comment.

"But wait, does that mean you don't have the Master Bolt?" Percy questioned.

"Boy, if I had the Bolt, why would I have tried to hunt you down for it these past ten days?"

"And what about your Helm of Darkness?"

"It's right there," Hades gestured to a coat rack, where it was hanging lazily. Percy shot a glare at Grover, who instilled the idea that Hades wanted to trade into Percy's head.

"In my defense, I never said anything was definite," he claimed.

"Well, I…I…" Percy was at a complete loss for words.

"Alright let me try to sum things up," Riptide offered. "You're in the presence of Hades, Lord of the Dead, with no bargaining chip, no idea where the Master Bolt is, who stole it, and you have probably less than an hour before the summer solstice."

"Yes, that about does it," Hades affirmed.

"You, sir, are royally fucked."

"Indeed," Hades held out his hand. "Any last words, Spider?"

"Uh, uh…" Percy looked around for something. "Smash the pearls!" he cried frantically, slamming his into the ground and grinding it up with his foot. His friends did the same.

Soon, they were shooting out of the Underworld at a million miles an hour in three bubbles…it was an epic getaway, as one would imagine.

xxxXXXxxx

The next time Percy was aware of his surroundings, he, Grover, and Annabeth had been discarded back onto the Santa Monica beach. LA seemed to be more or less fine, despite the gods of Olympus being on the brink of war.

"Percy, look out!" he heard, instinctually rolling out of the way of…something. It turned out to be a boar, a giant one. Percy quickly uncapped Riptide as it charged, side-stepped, and then slashed it across its side. It went careening into the ocean, and didn't get back up.

Percy heard clapping. "Alright, godling…fight, fight, fight…"

"Ares," he acknowledged the god that watched them from his bike. He walked toward them. "Look, I'm really not in the mood for this right now."

"Oh, I know," he said. "But I'm in exactly the right mood for this," he tossed Percy a bag, similar to the one he'd given Annabeth, only this one felt a lot heavier. "Go ahead, look at what's inside."

Reluctantly, the son of Poseidon peered into the pack, and saw… "That's…the Master Bolt…" he couldn't believe it. "That means…you stole it?"

"Why does this keep getting more confusing?" Grover complained, holding his head.

"Well, no. I didn't steal it; gods can't steal from other gods directly and all that. However, a certain hero did…as for who…"

"Tell me!" Percy snapped. "I'm not in the mood for games!"

"Oh but I am," he said. Suddenly, the pack was no longer with Percy, but back with Ares. He tossed it back to his bike. "How about a little wager."

"If it involves kicking your ass, I'm game anytime," Percy growled.

"Perce," Grover warned.

"How about this?" Ares said. "We're going to fight. If you win, you get to keep the pack and I'll send you back to New York. But when I win," he eyed the three demigods. "I'll kill you in the most painful way possible."

"Fine by me. Guys?" Percy asked for approval.

"This is the stupidest thing you could do, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth complained. "But do it."

"What? You're agreeing with him?" Grover questioned, but he was already outvoted. "Fine, sure."

"Good."

"Maybe I'll be reincarnated as a nice flower or something…" Grover lamented.

"You know, it's in situations like these that I'm glad that I don't die when you do," Riptide said.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. What if he breaks you?" Percy wondered.

"Please, I'm as durable as the Master Bolt; Celestial Bronze is Celestial Bronze, after all."

"The Master Bolt is made of Celestial Bronze?"

"Well, yeah," Riptide said it as if it were obvious.

Ares held out his hand, and suddenly, a massive two-handed sword appeared in his hands. Percy readied Riptide. He knew he'd have to be in top form to win against this guy.

The first exchange lasted less than a minute.

What happened was Percy charged first, trying to feint and catch the god by surprise, but he quickly deflected the blow and then slammed down his own sword, making the sand where Percy was just a moment before billow up into a cloud. The raw power was incredible, but Percy knew he couldn't back down. Power alone wasn't all that there was to a fight.

Percy tried again, with the two getting into a pathetic exchange; Ares was toying with the demigod, and quickly clawed a gash into Percy's arm and side. Percy stumbled back, only to have Ares follow up. Percy swung frantically, and Ares parried the strike, getting a cut tracing from his cheek to above his eye.

Percy tried to get away from the assault, but Ares kept pushing. He used his own feint. Percy, in his fatigued state, didn't see it coming. Ares went for Percy's legs, making him kneel, before kicking him away.

Percy rolled on the sand for a couple of seconds before stopping, face-down. He was just barely still holding onto Riptide, but it felt like it weighed a million pounds. Percy didn't even want to get back up. He lifted his hand up, barely, and reached for the ocean. "Please…father…help…" he begged. The ocean didn't respond, as if mocking him. Then he felt the tug in his gut. It wasn't his father's will that the ocean bent toward the demigod. "I'm alone again…" he noted. "But this time…I am strong."

The water slid onto Percy's body. It started at his feet, healing the gashes on his legs. Percy put his arms underneath him, feeling strength return to them. "What? How are you doing that?" Ares demanded, being unaware of Percy's lineage.

"You have no idea what I've been through on this quest," Percy claimed, the water making its way up to his torso, healing the gash on his side. "Traps, monsters, godly distractions, lies, hell, and now this. Fine, I see how it is," he glared at Ares as the water healed his arms. "So come on," he put his chin up, and the water slid up his face and into his hair, making it clump and stand on end a bit. "Let's see how far I've come."

Ares readied his sword. "So, Poseidon broke the pact too, huh? But he didn't claim you; you don't have his blessing. You shouldn't have that level of control over the ocean," he didn't sound all too surprised, but the mockery in his voice was gone. Instead, it was a strange sort of…respect. It insulted Percy.

The demigod charged again, this time with the water at his back giving him strength. Ares' block was easier to read now, and Percy was actually able to knock the god off-balance, using a trick that Luke taught him. Now that made the god of war angry.

His strikes became faster, but so had Percy's own. The two were matched blow for blow…for a while.

Percy managed to push Ares nearer to the water, allowing him to disorient Ares using it, nailing him in the face with a concentrated blast. He swung around blindly for a few precious seconds with the water in his eyes where Percy kept it, allowing the demigod to get in close; exactly where he wanted to be. Ares' big heavy weapon was at a disadvantage at close-range. Percy kept up the heat, and actually parried a full-force blow from Ares, where without the water's power he would've broken his arms trying to block it. Percy parried the strike, and then in one swift, deadly motion, he raked his blade across the god's abdomen, making ichor (the blood of the gods) gush out onto Percy.

The demigod backed up, knowing that the battle was far from over, but he didn't expect just how mad that it would make Ares. His wound closed quickly, at least to where he could fight, and he attacked ferociously. Gone was any form of tactics in his fighting; he was only out to completely destroy Percy Jackson, to slice him into tiny bits.

However, just as fast as Ares was gaining the upper hand, Percy was able to keep up using his water healing. Still, Ares ultimately knocked Percy to the ground. Even with the water, Percy was panting. His arms were sore, his head was pounding, and it was about to hurt a whole lot worse.

"Give up," Ares demanded, his voice sounding…different. Even his cocky smirk was one that irritated Percy less. It was more terrifyingly powerful than dickish, as Ares' was. Ares held his blade to Percy's chest. The son of Poseidon had lost.

Stubborn as ever, Percy refused to give up. He made a blind dash, knocking his blade out of the way just long enough to burst up, managing to actually head-butt the god. Ares stumbled back, dazed. He stepped forward again, ready to strike back and finish the fight, but he hesitated.

Ares shook his head, and then looked around, confused. "Eh? Where am I?" he demanded, like he'd just woken up with a hangover.

"What?" Percy questioned. "What do you mean? Did I hit you that hard?" he wondered, though he was actually suffering from a reeling headache due to the impact he took.

"What? Jackson? I…damn it…bastard…" he mumbled, as if remembering what had happened.

"Is the bastard you?" Riptide wondered. "Or someone, something, else?"

"Don't tell me…you were being controlled?" Percy mocked.

"I was not! I am a god!" he roared. "Gods cannot be controlled!"

"Well, do you remember why you're here?"

"What else? We were fighting. I was kicking your ass, if I recall."

"No, I won," Percy thought fast. "You admitted it, and then head-butted me. Sore loser…"

Ares blinked and then stomped his foot into the sand, willing his weapon to leave him. "Ah, damn it. That's right…fine. What'd I promise you?"

"You said-"

"Wait, I remember," suddenly the bag containing Zeus' Master Bolt was in Percy's free hand. "And here," he snapped his fingers, and the three demigods were whisked away.

Author's Note:

How's that for an abrupt ending?

Anyway, the next chapter is the last one of my adaptation of The Lightning Thief, so the Author's Note at the end is going to be long, because I want to get you into my head-space a bit. See, when I write basically anything, I put it to music (because I've been playing music for nine years and love it so much). To my mind, writing and music are inseparable. I assign characters with songs, I assign songs to different sections of the stories or books I write, and this is no exception. Next time, I'm gonna tell you guys what I'd consider to be, for lack of a better term, theme song for my adaptation of The Lightning Thief.

See ya then! and don't forget to review!