"You," Richard growled, his eyes angry slits, his fists clenched so hard his fingernails dug into his palms. "I thought I'd never have to see you again." His adversary only stared back. Was that a little grin on her face? "I should have stuck you in the microwave when I had the chance."
For whatever reason, Richard was in a particularly bad mood this morning. Maybe it was the fact that, despite being early in the fall, a veritable blizzard was blowing just outside the window. This horrid weather had set in just as he and Caroline were settling down to revamp her strip, with winds so strong that the windows rattled and an icy chill rushed through the house. The fire crackling nearby did nothing but make the bottom half of his legs feel like rapidly melting candles, while the top half continued to feel as if it was submerged in ice water. Or maybe Richard was in a bad mood because Randy had taken to following him around, whilst giving him death-stares. He never said anything. If Richard had to speak with him for some reason, Randy kept a strained, angry-looking smile on his face, accompanied with a strange, overly-cheerful tone. Maybe it was because, ever since his and Caroline's almost-accidental-kiss, she wouldn't even look him in the eyes, even though they were spending more than twelve hours a day together trying to fix Caroline in the City. Or maybe he was in a bad mood because Caroline's horrible cat, Salty, had just eaten half of Richard's sandwich in the time it had taken him to walk across the room and check on Stephano in Caroline's old playpen (where he was playing with the toy Richard had dropped in the church, that could be held indirectly responsible for the situation he currently found himself in). Now here Richard was, having a staring contest with the very satisfied-looking cat sitting on the desk, who dared to lick her lips.
"Here," Richard said, breaking off a piece of his remaining sandwich and tossing it into the fire. "Fetch." They cat only swished her tail and jumped down to the floor, prancing away.
"How's it going?" Caroline asked. She had gone to get more paper from the next room. While her tone was almost normal, she looked very pointedly at the floor as she spoke. This had become their normal form of communication.
"I've finished the first one," Richard explained, holding it out to her. As she took it, their fingers brushed, and he saw her flinch.
"It's good," she said, looking down at it. "Only a few hundred more to go!" To be honest, getting that one greeting card had been a struggle. He had never seen her have this much trouble coming up with a simple idea for her work. She had come up with dozens, each less funny than the last, and he had continually shot them down. He'd never been this involved in her creative process before. It was like she had become totally disconnected with Caroline, and much as she tried she couldn't reach her. Even this new one was only a thinly-veiled rip-off of an older one. Before Richard could try and coach her through yet another drawn-out brainstorm session, there was a ping from the next room that made them both jump, along with the automated voice: "You've got mail."
"I'll go see what that is!" Caroline cried out, rushing from the room. She often seemed to be in a big hurry to get into rooms where Richard wasn't, and away from rooms where he was. He tried not to take it too personally. He found this was a common trait among most people he had ever spent any time with. "It's the focus group information Del wanted to send over."
"Don't look at that, Caroline," Richard said, going to join her at the computer. He always found that a little strange. Caroline had a computer, or more accurately, Randy had one that Caroline used. She was just starting to get the hang of it now. Richard, on the other hand, wasn't allowed to touch it, given that last time he had gone on a computer he had become somewhat addicted and Caroline had had to drag him away by force. But he couldn't think of that now. "Do you remember last time?"
"Richard, this is an emergency!"
"Caroline, they wanted you to give Caroline superpowers! And a dog!" Maybe he shouldn't fight this so much, if it meant Salty would be gone. But he had to keep himself on point.
"These are my readers, Richard, and if they're not buying my cards than maybe I should be listening to them more," Caroline said, opening the attached email document.
"Caroline, these people are idiots," Richard cut in.
"They're just regular people found from the street."
"I'm making a general point about most people," he clarified.
"There's nothing crazy in here," Caroline said, her eyes scanning the page. "I should have more stories about the city... no more wedding stuff... bring back Caroline's weird assistant."
"What?" Now Richard's attention had been caught.
"Maybe this was a bad idea," Caroline said, going to close out the window. But Richard stopped her, and the moment their hands touched he could actually feel her shiver.
"Read what it says," he demanded.
"You were right. It's all crazy stuff. Caroline should die in a car accident and come back as a zombie, Caroline should start playing a lute. What is a lute, anyway? I learned my lesson from last time. I shouldn't let this influence my work."
Richard had just been looking through the newer Carolines. How had he not noticed? Richard was gone from them. Now that he had noticed, it seemed blaring. She had cut him out of her life completely, even in the pretend world of her strip. Although he already knew this, although this shouldn't hurt, he felt like he had received a very sharp kick to the gut.
"I should really put Stephano to bed," Richard said. He wondered whether she knew it was an excuse. He lifted Stephano, who didn't look even remotely tired and even wailed as Richard dragged him away from his toys. However, Stephano must have sensed his father's desperation. Richard couldn't help but feel a little better as his son rested his head on his shoulder, and sighed deeply. In the next room, Richard tucked him into the crib that Caroline had set up, with the blanket she had gotten him. At least, when this was all over, he could return to New York with something to keep him from falling backwards into his old misery. He was constantly amazed by how great an influence Stephano had on him, that he could spend his whole day thinking about him without getting bored, that there was nothing about the experience that had been even remotely negative. There was nothing else in his life he could say that about. Even with Caroline, there had been problems, jealousy and ultimatums and mismatched expectations. With Stephano, it was simple. He was the only thing Richard could take comfort in, during this horrible week when he had been confronted with the thing he wanted the most but could no longer have. And Stephano, mercifully, went straight to sleep. Richard sat down on his bed, but jumped back up as a hissing cat swiped her claws at him.
"You again," Richard said. "Why do you always-" he stopped himself. Not always. Long ago, now. This cat, who had been a constant, immovable annoyance to his existence for four, long years, had been totally absent for more than six months. If working around Caroline these last few days had taught him anything, it was that things really had changed since he had left. He remembered the first time he had been around this evil creature. It was the same time he had met Caroline, when he didn't even know her. Salty had nearly caused Richard to leave on that first day. She had jumped into his lap, and a wave of disgust had washed over him.
"Oh Great, you have a cat," Richard had said.
"Oh, this is Salty. Actually, her real name is Salt. See, I had a Pepper too, but Pepper ran away a year ago. He was a male, so, typical. And since Salt is a weird name by itself-"
"How anecdotal," Richard had interrupted. At the time, he had been too put-off by the cat to really care about her babbling. Frankly, it hadn't really been adding points in her favor. "Can you please just make it disappear?"
"I'm sorry, are you allergic?"
"No, I just don't like cats, or dogs, or anything that runs up to you and pees on your feet when you come home."
"Well, then, we may have a problem because I tend to get fairly excited when people come over," she waited for his reaction. "Not even a smile." Richard could tell that they didn't match well. Their personalities were too different. This would never work. But at the same time, he needed this job. However, Richard had one advantage: he was just morally corrupt enough to use her kindness against her. He could see right through her, from the second they had met; she was as soft as a marshmallow, one of those do-gooder types that gave more to charity than they had in their savings account and could never say no to an honest (or dishonest) request for help. And he knew, right away, that she would be fairly easy to manipulate. So he had played up his plight (though, he hadn't needed to exaggerate much), and portrayed himself as minutes from the homeless shelter. And just as he had expected, she folded immediately.
That seemed miles away from where he was now. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that if put in the same situation again he would do the same thing. He wasn't a totally different person, after all, and one advantage to being generally disliked was that he had learned not to care whether he was liked or not. But it seemed strange that he had looked at her like that. He would learn that she was a marshmallow, but there was so much more to her than that. She was funny, kind, naive, but smarter than she looked. She could fight for what she wanted, if she needed to. She cared so deeply for people that often she would put herself in uncomfortable positions to make sure they were happy. But she was also moral to a fault; once, all the neighbors had been stealing her cable, and she had reported it, even though everyone had hated her for it. It was odd that, for all the time he had known her, this cat had been there, always there to make their time a little less worthwhile. Even the morning after their first night together had almost been ruined by this cat.
After three years of waiting, of their loves being mistimed and mismatched, he and Caroline had finally gotten to a place where they could be together. But Caroline, in true Caroline-fashion, had become nervous. She wanted to test the waters of their relationship, instead of jumping into the physical part immediately (at least until his divorce proceedings officially began). So he had waited longer, and finally they had planned a romantic weekend getaway to a country inn. But it wasn't to be, and ultimately he had been forced to secretly call Annie and ask for help in fixing the situation. So when he and Caroline had arrived home, Annie and Del had filled the house with candles.
And then they had been together. Thinking about it made his heart race. And the next morning he had opened his eyes to the sun shining through the windows, and she had been there, her head resting against his arm. And he felt something he hadn't felt in his entire life: a lack of misery. Never had his happiness been totally untainted. He had shifted slightly, to get a better look at her, to see the way the sun reflected on her face. Suddenly he had heard a hissing noise just behind him, and had only caught a glimpse of the raised claws before they swiped several clean lines through his back.
He howled in pain, jumping from the bed and waking Caroline, who also jumped.
"THAT DAMN CAT!" Richard yelled, as he felt blood trickle down his back.
"Salty! What did you do! Bad girl!" Caroline said, but Salty didn't look very repentant. She sauntered away, her tail swishing back and forth happily. "Come on Richard, we should put a bandage on that."
She put on a robe and he boxers, and they went downstairs. There, he sat in a chair as she dabbed alcohol on the scratches.
"I don't get it," Caroline said, as she cleaned his wounds. "Salty hasn't done that with any of the other guys." Richard felt a wave of annoyance. Other guys.
"That cat has always had a vendetta against me," Richard reminded her.
"She can sense that you don't like her!"
"She's very intuitive," Richard replied, just he caught a glimpse of the cat jumping over the kitchen counter. "Caroline, that's not where she scratched."
"I know, but you have other scratches," Caroline said, putting alcohol on his other shoulder. "Here." He felt her fingers lightly touch his back, tracing lines down.
"Those aren't from the cat," he said, remembering where exactly they were from. He closed his eyes, his mind back in that moment, looking into her beautiful eyes, her nails digging into his back... but he was getting distracted. Caroline's fingers had continued down his back, now over his shoulders until he felt her lean in to him, kissing his neck. He reached up, grabbing her arm and pulling her around so that she ended up in his lap, facing him. He meant to say I love you. But instead he kissed her, their hearts seeming to beat as one. Then, in probably the most manly gesture he would ever be able to muster, he had swept her up in his arms and carried her towards the stairs. However, when he reached them she stopped him.
"Last night you fell on these stairs."
"That's true."
"So maybe I should just walk up them?"
"That's probably a good idea." And he had set her down, and she had taken his hand and they had raced up these stairs, falling into bed, not to emerge for several more days.
Richard lay back on the bed, trying to live in the memory for just a few more seconds. The warmth of her skin, her soft lips, the way she used to look at him... Did she look at Randy that way, he wondered? But once Randy was in his head, the fleeting sense of happiness he had felt recalling his memories was gone. His head tilted to the side slightly, and his heart nearly stopped as he found the cat was so close their noses nearly touched. He had totally forgotten Salty was there. In his shock, he jumped up, and his feelings of annoyance towards the creature rushed back. Salty had also been responsible for one of Richard's earliest feuds with Caroline. Not that that was the only one, or even close. Even at their best, they fought. But since, in this case, the fight had prevented Richard from having sex, it stood out from the others.
Richard was at Caroline's house watching some chick-flick movie she had insisted on. He had had last choice, she said, though he couldn't understand why she wasn't riveted by the award-winning Norwegian documentary, which used the symbol of slow, deliberate starvation to represent the meaninglessness of life. So, as she had teared up as good-looking-rich-guy-who-had-forgotten-the-importance-of-human-connection chased after good-looking-girl-with-good-sense-of-humor-who-would-remind-him-how-important-human-connection-was, Richard had tried not to think about how his brain was actually melting.
"Richard, I'm watching this," she had said, giggling, as he had tried to change the activity to something he knew he would enjoy more. His fingers were drawing little circles into her skin, and he had leaned it to kiss her neck, but apparently good-looking-man was having an epiphany and she was too distracted. "If you're really that bored why don't you go heat that up in the microwave."
"Alright." He glanced at the counter. Two things were there. The first was some left-overs that Caroline had taken out of the fridge in case they were hungry during the movie. The other was Salty, sniffing at said left-overs hungrily. Richard thought about this. She hadn't specified the left-overs. He stood up, and walked over to the counter, took the cat and marched towards the microwave. He opened the door, but the cat meowed loudly and Caroline turned, jumping up in horror.
"Richard!" she cried out, rushing over and snatching Salty from his arms. "What are you doing?"
"You told me to put it in the microwave..."
"You knew what I meant!" She was petting Salty soothingly. The cat had given him a look that said very clearly: I won. "I think you should go."
"Come on, Caroline, it was just a little joke. Me and Salty understand each other," Richard explained. This was how he and Salty had always interacted. He threatened to kill her, she pranced away. Caroline had once seen Richard try and get Annie to throw Salty out the window, why should this be any different? But for some reason, Caroline was more upset.
"You should go," Caroline said, petting the cat. Richard, who knew he had lost, could only give her a look of annoyance, and then march out. Caroline hadn't called that night.
The next day, Richard had arrived at the office to find Caroline working diligently, only looking up to frown at him.
"OK, I'm sorry," Richard said, taking off his coat and setting himself up across from her at the desk. "I won't try and microwave your cat again."
"I don't want an apology," Caroline had said coolly.
"What can I do then?" Richard asked. This was a phrase he was almost totally unfamiliar with. He rarely offered to do things for other people. In this case, he didn't even think he was in the wrong. But he also didn't like spending too much time away from her, so if he had to suck it up and pretend to be sorry, so be it.
"I want you to apologize to Salty."
"No."
"But Richard-"
"Caroline, I'm not apologizing to a creature who doesn't even have the brain capacity to know the difference between a litter box and my coat," Richard replied.
"Well, if you won't apologize to Salty, you can't come over."
"You mean-"
"I think you know what I mean." But Richard couldn't help but laugh. "What? You don't like... you know..."
"Caroline, I think you know that's not true. I just think I'm not going to be the one who gives up first."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Caroline, remember the first day I worked for you? You and Del were doing an experiment..." Caroline frowned, but suddenly a look of comprehension spread over her face and she turned bright red.
"That was different. We were testing our relationship, to see if it was more than sex."
"You failed," Richard replied.
"Well fine then," Caroline said, suddenly gaining a wave of momentum as she began to draw her new strip, to be submitted to newspapers that afternoon. "We'll just have to see who lasts the longest."
"Alright."
"And when you come crawling back, I won't throw it in your face."
"I won't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"We've known each other four years, Caroline. How many women have you seen me with, besides Julia?" He saw her frown, trying to recall. There wasn't much to try and remember. "I could wait months. Years." Caroline scowled, and went back to her work.
The next week was a battle of wills, though Caroline seemed more determined to fight than Richard. As each day passed, her outfit became more and more provocative. On day one, she wore her most low-cut shirt. On day four, she had switched to a miniskirt and knee-high boots. On day six, Del actually blushed when he saw her (and this was Del they were talking about, it took a lot to shock him). Clearly, Annie was contributing her expert eye (and several of her less-respectable clothing options). But Richard, for his part, tried to act unmoved and completely natural, though even he felt his resolve slipping. So on the seventh day, he waited patiently to see what sexy outfit she had whipped up. But he was surprised when she came in wearing normal, semi-formal work attire. She walked past, even giving him a little smile. He must have looked taken aback, because she asked him if something was wrong.
"You're not-"
"Enough's enough, Richard," she said, with a mock sigh. "If you can wait forever, then I guess nothing I wear will change that."
"Right."
"So we should get back to work. Del wants four new cards by Monday."
But Richard was distracted. She wasn't going to try anymore? Did she not care anymore? Had she finally, and probably rightly, given up on him? He kept glancing up, and she looked totally normal, as if this was any other day. He even almost put the wrong color for the grass in one of the new cards, an error that he had never made before, even in the most trying of circumstances. At home, he tried to paint. This was how he organized his thoughts and how he relaxed. But his eyes kept moving towards the door, hoping to hear her knock.
Finally, after midnight, he couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed his coat and marched out the door. Later, he couldn't even remember traveling to her apartment, only that he seemed to be there in the blink of an eye, hammering on her door desperately. In seconds, she threw open the door.
"You win," he said, marching forward and wrapping her up in his arms, pulling her in close in a kiss. She threw her arms around his neck, and he noticed she wasn't wearing pajamas. In fact, she was wearing a coat. "Where were you going?" he asked, not even pulling away. Instead, he spoke between kisses, as he pulled off her coat and she his.
"Nowhere."
"Oh, really? You weren't going to come see me?"
"I was going to see Annie, actually."
"Really? You were walking ten feet down the hall with your coat on, after midnight?"
"That's my story, and I'm sticking to it," she replied, with a coy little smile.
The next morning, Richard had been forced to 'apologize' to Salty. Rolling his eyes and making sure his tone was heavy in sarcasm. He managed to mumble the word 'sorry'.
"Good boy," Caroline said, rustling his hair. As soon as she had turned away, Richard was sure to elbow Salty off the counter.
"I guess you really did win in the end," Richard said darkly. But when he turned to look at the spot next to him on the bed, Salty was gone. His eyes scanned the room. The door was closed, so she couldn't have left, she wasn't on the windowsill... and then he jumped up and looked into Stephano's bed. Stephano was sound asleep, and curled up around his head was that damned cat, also snoozing away calmly. "Get out of there! Shoo! Shoo!" Richard said, raising his voice, trying to startle the cat away from his son. He must have been louder than he thought, because Caroline came in seconds later.
"What's wrong?"
"That thing is in Stephano's bed. Away! Go away!"
"It's sweet! Look at them!" Caroline said, and he could see her marshmallow side emerging.
"That creature is an incubator for disease and I don't want it near my son," Richard said, trying to physically remove Salty, who now seemed to weigh a thousand pounds.
"Come on, they're adorable together," Caroline said, touching Richard's arm and leaning over the crib edge to look at them. Richard's heart fluttered. She was touching him. She was touching him, and not flinching or jumping away. Caroline looked up, and for the first time in days, they were actually looking into each other's eyes. A little smile was creasing the edges of her mouth, and possibly the last thing he expected her to say left her lips:
"I think I have an idea for a strip!"
