"Five more minutes then we need to get moving," Negan says.
Simon nods. "Sure, i'll get everyone back in the trucks."
Negan looks around at the parked vehicles, his people sitting around on the side of the road talking idly. "Where's Katie?"
"I'm not sure, i think she stepped out for a piss, but she should've been back by now."
"Fuck!" Negan frowns. "Get everyone ready to leave, i'll go find her."
Katie sits with her back against a tree, staring vacantly into the distance. She rests her arms against her knees, tears falling down her cheeks. "John," she whispers, her voice broken. Dropping her head against her arms, her shoulders begin to shake.
"What are you doing out here?"
Her head shoots up, and for a moment she thinks it's John. Katie wipes at her face with the back of her hand.
Negan kneels down beside her. "It's not safe out here," he says, softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. She shrugs her shoulder away from him, getting up off the ground and making her way back to the road.
"We're gonna have to set up camp soon, boss," Simon says, his hands gripping the steering wheel. "Sun's gonna be down in a couple hours."
"I know, we'll keep going till we find somewhere more open, need to be able to see in all directions. There's too fucking many of us to hole up in a building."
Simon nods, staring out at the road. "What the hell happened? Back at the school?"
Negan shrugs. "Fuck knows, doesn't really matter now, we just need to keep going till we find somewhere safe."
"You think Katie's gonna be alright?" Simon asks.
"She'll have to be, he's gone. There's not a damn thing we could've done about it," Negan says, but as the words come out of his mouth, his throat goes dry. Tears threaten to fall, and he wipes at them with the back of his hand.
"I'm sorry, Negan. This all happened so quick, i didn't even give a thought about you, i mean, he was your brother, i'm sorry."
"He'd want me to keep her safe, so that's what i'm gonna do. I don't have time to be fucking wallowing in grief," Negan says.
"I hear you," Simon nods. "Hey, how about there?" He points towards a large overgrown field on their left.
"That should do, long as we have men on watch, those woods shouldn't be a problem," Negan says.
"We've got nothing, Negan. If these people don't get food and water soon, they'll leave, i've no doubt about it," Simon frowns.
"If these fuckers think they can do better on their own, then fucking let them," Negan says, rubbing at his temples. He looks over at Greg. "You're a hunter, why don't you go take a stroll through those woods, take that ass wipe Dwight with you for back up, see if you can catch anything to tide us over."
Greg nods, heading off to find Dwight.
"Gareth, you go take a few men, see if you can find some water. David, you go find some wood so we can start a fire, get that water boiling once it gets here. Hey, wait," Negan turns to Simon. "Do we have any pots and shit?"
"Yeah," Simon nods. "There's plenty in the supply truck."
"Good, now we're fucking getting somewhere. I want more men on watch, there and there," Negan points. "Keep these people safe. If anyone sees any dead fucks, i want all these vehicles ready to go."
"Sure thing," Simon says.
Negan turns, watching Katie staring off into the distance as she sits on the back of a truck. He heads over, his face dropping as he sees the pain in her eyes the closer he gets.
"Hey," he smiles weakly.
Katie squints for a moment, but otherwise she doesn't register that he's there.
"I've sent people out to get food and water, we'll have some soon enough," Negan says. "Katie, look, i know you're grieving, but John would want you to-,"
"Don't try and tell me what John would've wanted," she says, coldly. She hops down from the back of the truck, staring up at him.
Negan drops his head. "I'm sorry, i just, i don't want you to give up, he wouldn't want that either."
"It doesn't matter what he'd want, cos he's dead!" She says, her lip trembling. "He's dead, and it's your fucking fault! You just left him to die!" She screams, tears falling down her cheeks.
Negan's heart pounds against his chest, as her words are more accurate than she thinks. "I'm sorry."
"You should be!" She says, gritting her teeth. "He was everything to me, and i know i wasn't the same to him, but he cared about me, and now he's gone," she shakes her head. "Just stay away from me. I don't wanna look at you, i don't wanna talk to you. Just leave me alone," she says, stifling sobs as she walks away from him.
Negan breathes deeply, a sea of eyes watching him. "The fuck you all looking at?"
His men look away, going about their business once again.
Negan sits by the fire, his people chewing on the deer Greg had managed to catch. There hadn't been much to go around, but it had been better than nothing. He glances over at Katie, still sitting on the back of the truck. He'd had someone take her some food, but she'd sent it back, refusing to eat.
"Mister, Negan."
Negan jumps a mile. He places his hand against his chest. "You scared me then, sweetie," he smiles.
"Where's John? Will he be coming here soon?"
Negan's face drops, unaware that no one had had the sense to tell her.
"Katie looks sad, did something happen?" Emma asks.
Negan takes her hand, opening his mouth then closing it again.
"Don't," Julia says, shaking her head as she walks over. "I'll do it," she looks over at Katie. "It should come from Katie, but she's in no fit state."
"Thanks, Julia," he nods, getting up and walking off.
Negan's wives sit together in the back of a truck, the sun long since faded.
"It's not safe out here," Lisa says, her eyes flitting all around her every minute or so.
"We'll find somewhere soon though, right?" Karen asks, raising an eyebrow.
They both stare at Frankie, waiting for her to assure them.
"How should i know?" Frankie frowns.
"Ladies," Simon smiles, resting his arm against the truck. "Everything okay?"
"No," Lisa says. "It's not okay. Why are we out here in the open? It's not safe."
Simon lifts a hand. "Now calm down."
"Calm down? We're in the middle of a field, what if a herd comes through whilst we're sleeping?"
"Well i know i won't be sleeping," Karen says.
"Ladies. Everything is fine, i assure you. We have people on watch, and they'll be on watch until we haul ass and leave," Simon assures them.
"Shouldn't Negan be assuring us?" Karen frowns.
Simon sighs deeply. "Give the guy a break, he just lost his brother."
Karen nods. "Sorry, we're just scared, and as you can see, we're not exactly dressed for this," she says, gesturing to her black dress and heels. "If we had to run, we'd be screwed. Negan promised he'd take care of us."
Simon nods. "And he will, along with all of us. Trust me, you're safe here. If a herd comes by, we'll be on the road before you even see it, i promise."
Katie lies in the back of a truck, four other people sleeping around her. She can't sleep. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees John. John lying on the ground and slowly suffocating on the smoke fumes, John screaming as he's burnt to a crisp. Katie wonders what his last thought was before he closed his eyes forever. Was it her? She doubts it. Most likely his mother. He hadn't talked about her much, but he obviously loved her.
"John," she whispers, her fists clenching at the moth eaten blanket that covers her, tears falling down her cheeks.
Negan sits in the woods alone, Lucille laid out in front of him.
He'd done a lot of bad shit over the years, but this? This was next level. He plays it over and over in his mind.
As he'd been stood in front of the door, his brother banging and screaming for him to let him out, he hadn't been sure he could do it. Even as he struck the match, he hadn't been sure. And once he'd dropped it, he'd contemplated just opening the door. But he hadn't, and now his brother was gone.
Mom would be horrified. Of all the shitty things you've done, none of them matter compared to this. John was always her favourite, i could never match up to that fucker.
Negan scolds himself for thinking in such a way. But he does wonder if she'd be more forgiving had it been the other way around. If John had done that to him.
But John wasn't going to, he was gonna leave. Why didn't you just let him go?
Negan knows exactly why. No matter how much he tells himself that he thought John was going to take over, he knows that isn't it. It was Katie. He wanted her, and John was going to take her away from him, so he'd made sure he couldn't, simple as that.
He holds his head in his hands, tears falling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he whispers.
"You shouldn't have used our supplies on him."
"Kurt, don't be such an asshole."
"Amy, we don't know him. What if we need them?"
"Well if you need them you'll have to treat yourself with that attitude, don't go asking me for any help," Amy frowns.
He sighs deeply. "I'm sorry, it's just, he could be a bad guy for all we know?"
"We're good people, Kurt, or at least i am," she says, rolling her eyes.
He nods apologetically. "You think he's gonna be okay?"
Amy nods. "He'll be fine. He's got second degree burns on his left arm, but if we look after it properly, he should be okay. He'll have a nice scar there, but i've seen much worse."
"What do you think happened to him? You think it was that school fire that we came across?"
Amy nods. "I'd guess so. From the looks of that place, he got off lightly. Right now, he needs to rest. You stay with him, i'm gonna go get more supplies from the car."
Author's note
This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but i felt it was complete. Hopefully i'll be updating more often, especially since i've had some comments to motivate me. Thanks for reading. X
