*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much!*
I am sitting in the living room waiting for Roman to come home with the kids from school. My mama went out to pick up Lia's and Leilani's birthday cake from the bakery and Mom decorated the kitchen for their party as I finished wrapping up mine and Roman's gifts for them. I am anxious for them to see me without hair. They had no idea I was going to get my haircut that day but they were in for a surprise. I take a deep breath as I hear them run into the front door. "Mama!" yells Joe. "Where are you?"
"I'm in the living room," I yell back before I hear their little feet running to the living room. They run into the living room and they stop when they see me. They give me a look like they don't recognize me. "Hey, Guys," I say with a small smile.
"Hey," says Lia as she walks over to me. "Mama?"
"I'm Mama," I say with tears forming in my eyes as Lia's blue-grey eyes look at me.
"What happened to your hair?" asks Leilani as Roman makes his way to the living room. He stops in the doorway.
"I got it shaved off today," I say as Joe comes closer to me with his sisters. "Remember when we talked about the changes that would happen with me?"
"Yes," they said together.
"Well, losing my hair was one of those changes. I wanted to do it before it fell out on its own. I know I look different but I am the same mama I have always been and I still love you the same," I say as my mama walks into the house with the cake. Mom, mama and Roman stand in the doorway watching as I talk with the kids. I want this time alone with them.
"Is it going to grow back?" asks Lia.
"Eventually but right now this is what Mama is going to look like for a while. It's going to take some getting used. I'm still getting used to it but for now this is how I'm going to look."
"Did it hurt?" asks Leilani.
"Just emotionally," I say with tears in my eyes, "but you know what. It doesn't matter because I'm still here to be your mama and I will always be here to be your mama so if I have to lose my hair to do it then so be it. I would rather lose my hair than you guys lose me. Sometimes we have to make choices for what's best for everyone and this is one of those choices. It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay."
"Okay," says Lia. "Can I touch your head?"
"Me too!" says Leilani.
"I want to touch it too," says Joe.
"Go ahead," I say as I put my head down for them to touch. "Go ahead."
"Are we going to hurt you?" asks Lia.
"No," I say with a smile. "You're not going to hurt me."
"Okay," she says before I feel their tiny hands on the top of my head. They run their hands over it softly. "It's soft."
"It is soft," says Leilani. "I still think you look pretty, Mama."
"Thank-you," I say with a smile as they continue to touch my head.
"You are very pretty, Mama," says Joe. "I like it."
"Thanks, Buddy," I say with a smile mixed with tears in my eyes. My kids are the sweetest kids I could have asked for in my life. "All right," I say, "tonight isn't about me. It's about two little girls that turned 7 years old today! Happy birthday, Lia and Leilani!"
"Thank-you, Mama," they say as they wrap their arms around me to hug me. I try not to cry as I think about all the things I went through while I was pregnant with them from being abducted, raped, beaten and dehydrated but with all the stress they survived through it. My mind goes back to the first time I saw those two in the incubator in the NICU. They were no bigger than Roman's hand and about as light as a feather at 1 ½ and 2 pounds with less than a 10% chance to live. The doctor told us each day they survived the chances got better and then they said there would be long lasting effects. No I sit here looking at Miss Atalia Gabrielle and Miss Leilani Skye and they are healthy, beautiful and intelligent 7 year olds. They have come a long way in their lives. They were fighters since day 1 and they will always be fighters. More proof that no matter what a doctor tells you God is the one in control. I am extremely grateful that both of these little girls are standing in front of me today. Meeting other parents in the NICU back then some walked away without a baby. I was one of the lucky ones; Roman and I were one of the lucky ones.
The evening is filled with a small family birthday celebration. It's not a big party like usual but the girls are having fun. They're smiling and laughing and to me that's all that matters. We have the dinner of their choice; BBQ chicken, baked potatoes and macaroni and cheese. It is one of their favorite meals and I have to thank my mama and mom for cooking it for them. Now that our dinner has been eaten and they burned off their energy playing outside it is time for their presents. Lia and Leilani both sit down on the living room floor to open their presents. They rip the pink and purple wrapping paper from mine and Roman's gifts to them in a matter of seconds before squeals fill the room. "AMERICAN GIRL DOLLS!" They yell with a big smile on their faces. They have been asking for those dolls for the longest time now. We just decided to wait till they were 7 years old to get it for them. "Thank-you, Daddy!" says Lia giving him a hug and a kiss. "Thank-you, Mama," she says hugging and kissing me.
"You're welcome," I say with a smile. "Are those the ones you two wanted?"
"Yes," says Leilani. "Thank-you so much. I love it!"
"Me too," says Lia with a smile. Their big smiles on their faces as Roman opens the dolls for them makes me smile. I love to see them happy. Once Roman has the dolls out of the boxes he hands each girl their doll as they hug it tightly.
They sit their dolls down beside them as they go on to open the presents from my mama and dad. They were excited to get their first pair of roller skates which is the party they had originally wanted but we weren't able to do that for them as much as I wanted to maybe next year. They were even more thrilled when Mom and Pops got them each a Barbie KFX powerwheels that is pink and blue. It was something else that they truly wanted. My family goes above beyond to make sure my kids are happy and I am happy about that. Once the presents are open we get out their Barbie cake and sing happy birthday to them before they blow out the candles together. "What did you wish for?" asks Joe.
"I can't tell you," says Lia, "but in a few months we'll see."
"I hope you didn't wish for baby sisters because I am going to wish for brothers."
"No I didn't wish for brothers or sisters. I can't tell you what I wished for but it is a very special wish," she says and she looks at me telling me exactly what she wished for. All in all it was a great birthday for both of the girls. "Mama," she says as I cut the cake.
"Yes, Lia?"
She gets up and hugs me tightly. "This was the best birthday ever! Thank-you."
"Yes," says Leilani as she hugs me on the other side. "It was the best birthday ever! Thank-you so much! I love you."
"I love both of you," I say with a smile. "I'm glad that you two enjoyed the party. I wish I could have done more but I'm sorry this is what you got."
"No," says Lia, "It was perfect. You are here."
"Aw, Lia," I say with a smile. "You're so sweet."
"Thanks, Mama, and you're not going to go away are you?"
"No, Lia," I say, "I'm not going to go away. I am going to be here. I promise."
"Good because I don't' want you to go away."
"I know you don't but you don't have to worry about that. I'm going to be here always. Now let's have some cake and finish out this party."
"Okay, Mama," she says with a smile as she takes a seat at the table. Out of all three kids Lia is probably the most sensitive and concerned about what is going to happen to me. I don't want her to be scared or worried about me. I just want her to have faith and hope that I am going to be all right. I know I have so much faith and hope right now that I will be all right.
All in all I would say that the girls had a great birthday party and a great birthday. I just can't believe they are 7 years old already and it has been quite the 7 years. I cherish each birthday a little more each year because there was a time when I wasn't sure if we would have a birthday for them but each year they celebrate is another year the doctors were proven wrong. We finished the night off by having cake and ice-cream before watching their favorite movie; Frozen before we all fell asleep in the living room.
ROMAN'S POINT OF VIEW:
Reluctantly I am in Tennessee for a house show and a VIP autograph signing before-hand. My heart just isn't in it like it usually is, normally I am happy and smiling as I greet the fans and sign autographs but tonight I'm just not feeling it. I feel bad for my fans as they come up to get my autograph and take pictures but I hardly smile. I am sitting there playing with the marker waiting for the next fan to come to me for an autograph. "Hey," I say as a woman with brown hair comes up to me wearing one of my t-shirts. She smiles at me. "What's your name?"
"Molly," she says with a smile. "I am a huge fan of yours but I'm surprised to see you tonight. How is your wife Tayla doing?"
"She's doing all right. She's recovering from chemo this week. She was feeling much better when I left."
"I'm sorry to hear about her being sick. I have been following her facebook page where she updates constantly about her progress. I saw she shaved her hair off yesterday. And I know this is a bit forward of me but I knew she was going to lose her hair eventually so I made her these," she said giving me homemade scarves in different colors from pink, blue, purple, yellow and green. I smile at her. "And I got your daughters a birthday present," she says handing me two bears from Build-A-Bear for them.
"Thank-you," I say with a smile. "I'm sure Tayla is going to love these scarves and my girls are going to love the bears. Thank-you so much, Molly."
"You're welcome," she says as I stand to take a picture with her. "Tell Tayla I give her my best. And she is in my prayers."
"I will thank-you," I say with a smile. It is the kindness of strangers like that that make this world a better place. She didn't have to make the scarves for Tayla but she did. My fans truly love Tayla and that makes me smile. That's pretty much how the rest of my autograph signing went. They would tell me how much of a fan of mine they were and would give me a card to give to Tayla and maybe another present of hope here and there. Tayla was extremely blessed to have all those fans to care about her.
By the time my autograph session was over I had quite the collection of cards and gifts for Tayla. Someone from security got me a bag to put it all in before I went back to my locker room where all my ring gear was laid out. "What's all that?" asks Bo as I come in the room with a bag.
"This?" I ask holding it up, "These are cards and gifts for Tayla."
"From who?" he asks.
"The fans," I say, "Someone even made her scarves to wear on her head."
"That is sweet," he says. "How is Tayla doing?"
"She's doing all right. I mean she's excited because we're having triplets but with the cancer and chemo she's taking it hard. I heard stories about chemo making people sick but she was severely sick for days this week and yesterday she got her hair shaved off."
"Wow," he says, "first congratulations on the triplets. I bet you're happy but I really wish Tayla the best. Do you think she would mind if JoJo and I came to visit her?"
"I have to check with Tayla but I don't think she would mind. I'm sure she would love visitors. She hates to be alone."
"Well, if she doesn't mind we will be there for a visit."
"I'm sure she will love that."
"And how are you holding up?"
"I'm being strong for Tayla," I say with tears in my eyes, "but seeing her so sick and now without hair is killing me. I just want to break down and cry. It's not fair that she is going through this. It's not fair at all. I mean I know she is going to fight and she's going to beat this but it is so hard to sit there and watch her go through hell to get better. I am serious that chemo kicked her ass. I hope it's not like that all the time."
"I'm sorry, Roman, I know how much both of you have been through and I know this is just another blow but look at how much you two have been blessed."
"I know," I say, "it's just very hard to watch the person you love most and know you can't live without go through something so horrible. Tayla is strong no doubt about it but it's still very hard and Little Lia," I say with tears in my eyes before my voice cracks, "and little Lia," I say as I choke on my sob. "She is so devastated over Tayla being sick. She is probably the only child of ours that is taking this hard. She's scared that Tayla is hurting and she's scared Tayla is going to die. She just wants her to get better. I worry about how badly this is going to impact her. Joe and Leilani seem to go with the flow but they also hold in their emotions so it could be building up inside but Lia just can't do that. She's hurting seeing Tayla go through this. I wish they didn't need to see it but they do. It's heartbreaking."
"I bet," says Bo. "How much chemo does Tay have to get?"
"Every other week for 3-4 months I offered to stay home and take time off but she won't let me. She wants me to be out on the road. I feel bad being here you know?"
"I'm sure but if Tayla wants you on the road she wants you on the road. This is typical Tayla always thinking of others above herself. That's her specialty. That's what makes her awesome. There isn't anything she wouldn't do for anyone. We should do something for her."
"Like what?" I ask.
"I don't know. We'll have to think about something but there has to be something we can do for Tayla."
"I'll come up with something," I say. "But look the fans love her," I say pointing to the bag.
"I see that. You have great fans," he says.
"And that's all my autograph session was about," I say. "They all wanted to know how Tayla was doing and gave her cards. I think she's going to love it."
"Me too," says Bo, "when someone goes through something like this the one thing that they need to know is that people love and care about them."
"I know," I say with a smile.
"And like I said if there is anything you two need or want let me know I can help you out."
"Thanks, Man," I say, "and I'll get back to you about what we can do."
"All right," he says.
Just as I finish my match for the night I run into Cody; Chelsea's husband in the back on my way to the locker room. "Hey," I say to him.
"Hey, Ro," he says, "how are you and how is Tay?"
"Tayla is doing okay. She started Chemo this week but she's doing all right. I'm okay. How are you?"
"I'm okay," he says.
"And how is Chelsea?" I ask.
"I don't know," he says. "I haven't spoken to her for a few days now."
"What? Tayla is wondering why Chelsea hasn't gotten in touch with her."
"Chelsea is having her own drama right now," he says, "I'm sorry if that sounds rude but Chelsea is having her own problem right now."
"What's wrong with her?" I ask.
"She left me," he says.
"What? Why?" I ask. I am in shock that Chelsea would leave Cody like that. There has to be a reason. That's just not Chelsea.
"Because she didn't want to be married anymore. She left me a note took Liberty and Langston with her and went back to Arizona with her parents. I don't know what went wrong but she's gone."
"Geez," I say, "I'm sorry."
"It's all right," he says. "We were having problems to begin with. I guess she just got tired of it all. And she may be a little upset with Tayla."
"Why? Tayla didn't do anything to her."
"She is upset that you and Tayla chose Jordyn to be your surrogate and not her. She's also upset with how close Jordyn and Tayla have gotten. I don't know. Chelsea is having problems."
"I see," I say, "we only chose Jordyn because she is younger and we have helped her out in the past."
"Chelsea doesn't see it that way. She said she would have done it for you two but you didn't ask her."
"Yeah but her best friend has breast cancer. Tayla would like Chelsea to be there for her."
"I don't know what to tell you. You see how Chelsea treated me and I'm her husband. Whenever she gets over herself she might have a little sympathy for others but if you two need anything I'm here."
"Thanks," I say. "Thanks a lot. I won't tell Tayla about Chelsea."
"I wouldn't," says Cody. "It may not end well. I know Chelsea give her some time and she'll get over it. And I don't think it helps that she saw her Nona fight breast cancer and die from it. She might be spooked. She may not want to lose her best friend. I don't know what goes on in Chelsea's head anymore but that would be my guess."
"All right," I say, "Thanks, Cody."
"No problem but remember what I said, if you need anything let me know."
"Thanks," I say with a smile before we go our separate ways.
It is finally Tuesday night after the Smackdown tapings which means that I am able to head back home in the morning to see my wife and kids. I have been talking to them on Skype every night that I am away but it's not the same. I just want to hold Tayla in my arms and give my kids hugs and kisses. I can't wait to get home. I am sitting on the bed looking at a magazine as Bo is packing his things when I get an idea. "Bo," I say.
"Yeah," he says.
"You know what we were talking about the other day?"
"Yeah about doing something for Tayla?" he asks.
"Yeah and remember what I told you I was going to do last night?"
"Um yeah," he says.
"I'm going to do it. Actually you're going to do it for me."
"Are you sure, Roman?" he asks.
"I'm sure?"
"All right," he says, "are you really sure?"
"Yes," I say. "I'm going to do it."
"Okay," he says with a smile.
*A/N: So what did you think? What are your thoughts of the kids seeing Tayla for the first time without hair? Did they handle it well? Which of the three do you think Tayla having cancer is going to impact most? YOu just have to love Tayla to do everything in her power to make sure her kids have the best birthday party despite being sick. Do you agree with Bo she goes above and beyond to put others before herself? What do you think Roman and Bo can do for Tayla? What about the support of the fans and them giving Tayla cards and gifts? What are your thoughts on Chelsea? Is she being selfish or is she scared or is it both? Think she will ever come around? Finally; what do you think Roman's idea is at the end of the chapter? Please review and thank-you for reading.
