Raphael tossed and turned in his bed. His bed sheets were in a ball at his feet as he tossed his body violently back on his shell. He looked up at his ceiling trying to calm his thoughts but they continued to shout back at him. His guilt was eating away at him. The words he screamed at his brother from atop of New York City that night sent a shiver up his spine. He needed to speak with his older brother.
Sam tried to groan in discomfort but her mouth was too dry to do anything but breathe. She opened eyes as she focused on a beautiful shade of green. Looking up she saw the slow rise and fall of his chest as he slept. She smiled to the feeling of his arms wrapped around her. Gentle but strong. The feeling she had that night he fell asleep in her bed consumed her and she ignored her grumbling stomach. She ignored her lack of salvia and the fact that she was border dehydrated. She needed him. She needed to be there with him.
"Go get something to eat." She heard his tired voice say. She sighed and shook her head. "Yes. You're stomach is keeping me up." He joked, coughing after he let out a chuckle. She whimpered rolling her body closer to his, putting her face in his neck. She felt him smile and she kissed his neck softly closing her lips against his sensitive skin. He shifted to the new feeling he got that ran through him as she did this. Pushing herself up from his bed she looked down at him as he opened one eye and smiled at her. She managed a smile back sliding off his bed and walking out of his room.
As she closed the door slowly she noticed Raphael walking towards her. He looked up surprised to see her and stopped going for Leo's door. She smiled at him trying to work up the spit in her mouth to form words.
"Hey." She managed putting her hand to her throat.
"Is he up?" He asked not moving.
"Yeah. I think so. My stomach woke him up I think." She smiled. He nodded his head without a change of expression. She cleared her throat and let go of Leonardo's door handle and started for the stairs.
"Uh…Sam?" Raph said as she took the first step down. She turned and smiled.
"Yeah Raph?"
"I just wanted. To ya know, um…"
"You're welcome Raphael." She smiled and walked down stairs. He put his head down as his eyes stopped at Leonardo's door handle. The metal knob mocked him, tormented him with a distorted image of himself on it. He grasped it tightly taking a deep breath and turning it slowly. It creaked open as the candle lit room was silent. It smelt similar to Master Splinter's room suddenly bringing the tension in Raph's shoulders down.
"Sam, go get something to eat please. You're just going to hurt yourself…" Leo turned his head opening his eyes seeing Raphael with his arms crossed tight against his plastron. "Oh, uh…Hey Raph." He said sitting up.
"Hey…Leo." He said avoiding his brother's eyes.
"What's up?" He asked returning his brother's body language. Raphael's grip on his forearm tightened as his looked at his brother's face. It was beaten and bruised, along with his arms and legs. He hated seeing this in any of his brother's but Leo, it hit him differently. He took a step closer watching the flicker of a candle dance across his wall.
"Can't sleep." He said finally after a moment of silence.
"Why's that?"
"Gee, I don't know Leo, maybe because this is all my fault!" Raph shot back at his placid brother.
"Raph…"
"No Leo! You're not going to throw your psychoanalysis bullshit in my face! You're gonna sit and listen because really that's all you can do." Raph put his head down and tried to regain himself. Yelling isn't a good way to apologize.
He sighed and looked back at his brother's face. He had that same stern expression on it, like at any minuet he was going to get from his bed and stand inches away from Raph's face with his pointed finger in a scolding. But, he just sat and listened.
"You…" He took another breath. "I heard voices that night on the roof. I ignored them. I don't know why? I think somethin' inside of me wanted you to get hurt, fight for yourself. Not like this, what they did was too far. I would I'd go and take care of 'em for you but Sam already handle that." Leo smiled at that putting his head down to hide it slightly.
"I don't think you wanted me to get hurt Raph." Leo said softly.
"I don't know what I thought. I was so mad at you. At the fact that Sam just forgave you and…And you…She picked you. I was so mad at both of you! You treated her like shit for those weeks she was here. You went out of your way to ignore her, and yet you still went to her apartment and she forgave you just like that. I wanted to be the one that went there, I wanted to be the one to…I was jealous. You were right, which made it worse. But, then that morning when I saw her and her face when she heard that you were missing. She was truly scared for you." Raph self consciously sat next to his brother as Leo leaned in a little towards him. He didn't dare place a hand on his shell or shoulder, but just let him speak. If Raph wanted contact Raph would know he wouldn't get denied an embrace.
"I don't know why she chose me Raph." Leo said softly, putting his head down embarrassed to share a personal part of his life with his brother. "She's so beautiful, and strong. She's so passionate about those things she loves and cares about. She's everything that any man would be more than lucky to have. So believe me Raph, I have no idea why she wants anything to do with me." Leo said letting out a nervous laugh.
"I do!" Raph chuckled.
"What?"
"You just explained you." He said in a point blank tone.
"No…I'm different."
"You care about your brothers."
"Well, yes but…"
"You are passionate about fighting for those who are in need of help and protection."
"Well, we're trained too do…"
"You're like the same person, Leo."
"Yeah, but you do those things too Raph."
"Yeah, but you two like clicked or somethin'. So you're gonna tell me you don't see it?"
"Of course I see it. I just…"
"Then except it man. Are you gonna let somethin' as great as Sam get messed up just because you're self conscious? Apparently she don't have a problem with it. So maybe you shouldn't either." Leo looked at his brother with a look of question.
"Who are you and what did you do with Raphael?" Raph chuckled and nudged his brother's shoulder. Leo grabbed it instantly not showing the pain in his face.
"C'mon we can't have a serious conversation? You need someone to talk to about this kinda shit. Who you gonna ask, Mikey?" Leo chuckled.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right."
"And besides. I might need advice on this subject in the near future and I sure as hell ain't going to Casey." Leo looked up at his brother raising an eye ridge.
"Really?"
"Frankie. That girl that helped us saved you. She kissed me in the dojo." He said with a straight face trying to mask the smile within him. Leo punched his brother's shoulder lightly.
"Nice man!"
"Nothin' big or nothin'. But, what are the odds?"
"Ha, yeah. Tell me about it." They both let their laughs fade as they sat in silence for awhile. Raphael fumbled with his hands in his lap and rolled his eyes at his self conflict in his head.
"Leo. I'm sorry." Raph finally said going back to the dancing candle light on his walls in front of him.
"Raph, this wasn't…"
"Just tell me I'm forgiven, will ya?" Raph said looking towards his brother. Leo smiled and nodded his head.
"You're forgiven bro." He lifted his hand up as Raph did the same, their knuckles pounding together lightly. They heard a light knock on the door as Sam opened it slightly popping her head in.
"Is it ok to come in? Are there things being thrown? Should I duck?" Leo let out a laugh as Raph got up from the bed. He looked down at his brother and Leo smirked nodding his head as they're unspoken agreement was settled.
"So we're good?"
"You're good." Raphael smiled knowing that's what Leo's smirk meant as he started for the door. Just as he went to open it Frankie burst in.
"Sorry to interrupted. But, Sammy some Jordon guy keeps callin' you?" Raph shot a glare over at Sam as Sam's eyes looked like she was searching a file bank inside her head.
"I don't know a….Oh…Oh my god!" She pushed passed Frankie and ran down stairs.
"Ooook…Then." Frankie said crossing her arms. "So. How are you doin' there tough guy?" She said walking in the room towards Leo. Leo smiled and nodded his head.
"Good. I'm feeling ninety five percent better."
"Not like ninety two, or ninety four?" Frankie said in a smart ass comment. Raph let out a soft chuckle and she looked over at him with a smile. They room fell silent again and Frankie moved uncomfortable in the awkward silence. "So…"
"So, I don't even know you. You save my life and I know you're Samantha's friend, but that's really it." Leo said questioning the red headed beauty. Her eyes widened and she placed her hands in the back of her jean pockets as her shifted nervously. Raph looked at her as the curves of his mouth played at a smile but he forced it away. He was never one for using words such as cute or adorable. He'd rather get his throat cut with his own sais than have those words ever leave his lips in mixed company. But, the way she played with her back pockets out of nervousness, the way she popped her hip out to one side as she stood was just that. Adorable, cute. He bit back another smile as she started to speak.
"Well, I've worked with Sammy for years now. She taught me pretty much everythin' I know. I worked out in Chicago before I went to work with the same branch she was in. I was born and raised in Boston though." She said in a smile remembering her years in the beautiful New England state.
"That explains the accent." Leo raised an eye ridge.
"Ha, yeah…Kinda sneaks up on ya I guess?" She said fidgeting again.
"So how'd you get involved with the government?"
"Kinda fell into like Sammy. Except mine was a little more on the side of goin' to juvie" She said putting her head down in shame.
"How'd that happen?" Raph spoke up.
"Well, my dad. He taught me how to fix cars and stuff." She said in her dropping the 'r' accent. "Just, some of the cars he fixed weren't always his. He took me out on a lot of jobs and I got arrested. He's in jail still I think? But, he wasn't the greatest guy anyway."
"That's horrible." Leo said in concern.
"Yeah. They shouldn't of put you in jail just for your father's crummy job." Raph said stepping in closer to her. She smiled and put a hand on his arms relaxing them from being crossed tightly to his plastron. He dropped them at her touch. Leo smirked knowing the expression on Raph's face.
"I used to get into a lot of fights with other girls. One day these group of guys in black business suits sat me in an interrogation room. First they were tryin' to get shit out of me about my dad. I didn't know anythin' about him by then. It was like a year since I last saw him. But they kept goin' on with it. Then at the end they said I handled myself well and didn't show any pain when they slapped me to get an answer. They asked if I wanted a job and a free ticket out of that hell hole. So I took it."
"How old were you?"
"17. I woulda been stuck there a whole nother year."
"You girls lived some pretty interesting lives." Leo said sinking back against his bed with a yawn. Frankie looked at Raph and nudged him.
"We'll let you get back to sleep Leo." He said as his brother nodded his head.
"Thanks guys. I'll see you in the morning. Donnie might be able to let me get out of bed."
"You know Don, he'll have to do at least four more tests before you can even put your feet on the floor." Raph smirked. Leo chuckled and closed his eyes.
"Night bro. You too Frankie.
"Night Leo." They both said as Frankie opened the door. Raph placed his hand on the small of her back guiding her out into the hall way. She didn't brush him away but just let his hand stay there. She stopped moving in front of him as he almost pressed his body into hers but moved out of the way right before. They looked at one another for a moment before she fidgeted nervously again.
"So. Which ones yours?" She said looking down the line of rooms.
"Oh, this one." He said pointing behind him still facing her. She smiled.
"Can I see?" He looked behind him to break an awkward eye contact and shot his gaze back at her. He looked at her in shock and tried to cool himself.
"Uh…Yeah, if you want?"
"Why not? It'll be nice to see the room behind the man." She walked past him and he followed stopping at the word she used. Man? He said in his head. He caught up to her as she waited for him at his door. He opened it for her as she walked in.
She lingered in the doorway before stepping inside. There wasn't much to it as she thought. There was a punching bag in the corner his bed in another. A small CD player on the floor with CDs spread across the floor with a big duffle bag next to his nightstand that had an alarm clock. She knelt down next to the CDs and examined them. Flipping them over and reading the songs on the back.
"Good choice in music Big Red. I mean Raph. Sorry." She said looking up at him as he stood looking over her shoulder. He smirked.
"It's cool." He said walking away from her and lying on his bed. She smiled as he put his hands behind his head, his biceps flexing as he bent his arms. She self consciously bit her lip and turned back towards the CDs shaking her head. She took a breath and got up from the floor walking over to his bed. He looked over at her in a questionable look.
"You gonna move over or make me stand here?" She said crossing her arms. He still looked up at her like she was speaking Spanish. She rolled her eyes and got on his bed laying her body half on his half on the small space he left. He shifted under her making room as his arm slide comfortable around her. "This is much better than the couch." She smiled putting her head on his shoulder.
"Yeah, that thing is a piece of junk."
"My back thanks you." She nodded. He smirked as she slide her body slightly closer to his, her knee touching his as she bent it. His breathing started to quicken as she leaned up from the bed and looked at him. His eyes moved over hers as she smiled above him, her hair moving into her face. He hesitated to move it but couldn't resist as he lifted his hand up slowly gliding the back of his fingers against her cheek, tucking the hair behind her ear. She turned her face, so he cupped it in his palm as she closed her eyes, her soft lips opening against his palm. He swallowed hard as she glided her lip down to his wrist and kissing that, as her eyes opened staying on his. They were beautiful icy blue that ripped into the very last inch of his soul. She laid her body on his plastron as she kissed his cheek.
"W…" He cleared his throat from the shock that consumed it. "What was that for?" She shrugged her shoulders.
"It's against the law to kiss you?" Her voice was different. It was soft, but smoky and dangerous. She leaned down again, pressing her lips to his. He closed his eyes, putting his hand from the small of her back to the back of her head. Her soft, thick hair getting tangled in between his fingers as she moved her hips on his body. She kissed him with more passion and something different than before. Before she was filled with adrenaline and excitement now it was slow and soft.
Her tongue played past her lips as she opened her mouth. He didn't know how to react at first, but noticed how she was moving it and did the same against hers. He felt her arms move up his body on his pillow as she gripped the pillow case. He must have done something right.
She wanted to moan, let something out. The sexual frustration inside her was driving her insane. She felt the inside of her thighs burn as he let the tops of his fingers move the hair from her neck as he gripped it in his hand. They graced across her sensitive skin softly making her body cover in goose bumps. She wouldn't. She had too much respect for Raphael and his brother's to do something she knew he wasn't ready for. She finally pulled away as her breath sounded like she just ran a marathon.
"Jesus…" She said looking at him. He got worried and looked back at her.
"What…did I…"
"No, just. Wow…I've kissed plenty in my day, but my goodness. That was intense." She smirked. She slid off his body and he instantly missed her. Her chest rose and fell as she stared up at his ceiling. "I don't know what it is about you Raph but I'm just drawn to you." She turned on her side so she could look at his face. He turned his head to return the stare. "I know nothin' about you, but there's just somethin' that makes me want to know everythin'. Anythin' you're willin' to tell me, because I'm sure you're such the open type." She said in a sarcastic tone. He smirked letting out a soft laugh.
"Ya know before when I said my name was Raph. I was just upset about Leo. I kinda miss you callin' me that." He smirked returning his eyes to hers. She smiled back.
"Alright Big Red." She said putting her head back down on his shoulder.
