Author's Note: I've been out of town, so I haven't updated for a while. I was also in an area lacking internet, so I wasn't able to respond to your reviews. I'm very sorry for that, but thank you, thank you for reviewing so much. I've passed the hundred marker and I'm just giddy with glee! Please continue to review. It sends me into such rapture. Really.

Oddly, this is the third chapter with P alliteration for the title. I honestly don't plan it. I write the chapters and then I name them based on content. I wonder why this keeps happening?

Love,

Droopy Breeches

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From the Notebooks of Sir Prongs namely James Potter

September 15, 1976

Today a most unusual event occurred. Our Arithmancy teacher, the homework-heaping fiend that she is, gave us no homework. What's more she hardly gave us any work in class either.

At the start of the lesson she walked out, almost tripped over Susan Knightly's desk, and then told us to hand in our homework and do the work on the board. Then she wafted over to her desk to gaze whimsically at sunbeams. I'm fine with teachers occasionally feeling the need to be negligent and giving busy work, but this was just so out of character for Professor Vector.

She's been teaching at Hogwarts for only three years, but she has already developed a reputation as one of its most formidable professors. She can't hold a candle to McGonagall in the way of piercing glares or thin lips, but what she lacks in physical intimidation she more than makes up for in the sheer bulk of work she gives us.

So then why is she humming in the corner, and playing with her hair like that?

It took me around ten minutes to finish the problems she'd written up, and then I fell to doodling. It's a pity it had to be in Arithmancy that the professor went insane. If it were any other class I'd have had my mates to goof off with. As it is, the only person I really know in Arithmancy is Lily, and, well, she's not normally up for a good chat with me. But even if she doesn't want to talk at least she gives me a nice view. It's quite easy to pretend to be gazing wistfully out the window while really peeking a Lily as she scribbles away. She's so responsible working on an essay in this virtual free period.

"Are you dating Emmeline's sister?"

Huh? Where did that come from? I looked up from the flowers I'd been doodling and saw Lily staring directly at me.

"Huh? Ummm . . . What did you say?"

"You know, that girl, the messy—" she pulled back looking embarrassed. "The dark-haired one. I think her name is Minnie or Molly or something."

"Ah, Maggie."

"Yes. Are you dating her?"

Why did she want to know, and where did she get that impression? Neither Maggie nor I had gone around telling people about our odd little arrangement. Of course, I'd told my mates about it, but I'd also specified that until Maggie gave permission they weren't allowed to go blabbing about it. So, who had told Lily? And how do I respond to her question?

"What gave you that impression?" I asked, deciding that deflection was probably the best option here.

"I-I just have seen you two together a lot recently. But if you were, that would be nice. She's a really pretty girl and Emmeline's mentioned that she's a really good quidditch player. So, I guess that would be good for you . . . " she trailed off, and looked away demurely.

So, no one had told Lily. She'd just guessed after seeing us together and she thought it was great, a real brick to the stomach. But still, she'd initiated a conversation. I should keep her talking. I wanted her to turn back to me.

"So," I said, jokingly, "do you have any idea what's wrong with Professor Vector."

Lily sighed, a low musical sound. "She's in love. Can't you tell?"

"Is that why she's taken to scooping up the sunbeams like that?"

"Yeah, it does look she's paying obeisance to nature, but I imagine love can make even her a little bit dotty." Obeisance . . . nice word. I should store that away for future use.

"You don't seem to be acting dotty." I noted, unthinking.

"Well-I-don't-I-It's too soon-I'm not—" she stopped and looked down, her voice petering out.

It took a moment for comprehension to sink in. I'd just basically said that she was in love with Frank. I'd upset her, either by doubting her love for Frank or by accusing her of love too soon. Really, it didn't matter how; I just needed to distract her.

"So, who is Professor Vector in love with then? I hope it's not Slughorn." My joking tone startled her. She momentarily bit the inside of her lip, which all truly keen Lily observers know indicates annoyance. Still, better annoyed then embarrassed.

"I don't actually know, but I have a theory. I've seen her talking to Professor Harrington's replacement Professor Briggs during dinner, and she gets a little bit like she is now."

"Well that's a pity. If it's Briggs then their love is doomed."

"Huh? That's a very pessimistic view. True, Professor Briggs is exceptionally handsome, but she's not all that bad looking herself."

"I'm not talking about that," I laughed. "I couldn't care less about their looks. I just meant that Briggs is the new Defense teacher, so he'll be gone within a year. It'll be a short romance."

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that," said Lily. "Still, I hope that she gets to have a year full of romance. Professor Vector deserves some happiness."

"Yeah, and one year full of love is worth more than a hundred empty ones."

Lily stared at me for a few moments then inexplicably giggled. I was glad that I hadn't shortened the one year to one day, as had been my first inclination.

"So, what makes you such an expert on telling when people are in love?"

"Ah, well, my sister recently got engaged."

"Oh." I think I'd heard before that Lily had a sister, but I'd never heard her talk about her. The thought of another pair of eyes like Lily's out in the world seemed somehow unlikely, but maybe Lily's sister looked just like her. I suppose another Lily would only benefit the world, but I felt slightly jealous of the unknown fiancée.

"So, your sister was all giggly and distracted? That must have been hard to bear."

"Yes, very." Her eyes drifted towards Professor Vector, but there was no amusement within their depths. "My sister . . . " she said slowly, "isn't quite like Professor Vector. If anything, her taste isn't so fine."

"You don't approve of your sister's choice? Are you just overprotective?" I tried to keep my tone joking, but I was also truly interested.

"I don't think there's anyone who could approve of my sister's choice. Never mind. It doesn't matter. It's none of my business, anyway. So, are you dating that girl—Maggie?"

How did we come back to this subject, honestly? Oh well.

"Not really, right now we're just working on our friendship. It's not like you and Frank, at least."

"Ah."

"Did you two get together this summer in Godric's Hollow? I guess I was just so distracted that I didn't even notice your romance. So, how did it happen?"

I expected Lily to shoot back with a Sod off Potter or an It's none of your business, but she didn't. Instead she leaned back on her chair and nibbled on her quill resignedly. After a few moments she mumbled, "He coerced me."

"What?"

At that unfortunate moment, Professor Vector's eyes unglazed and she burst from her abstraction. Noticing that everyone had finished their problems she dismissed class beaming all the while.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief, gathered her books, and was gone in a trice.

Darn it. Just when the conversation was getting interesting. Could it be that Arithmancy might offer the necessary opportunity to get to know Lily better? That this tortuous period would yield unexpected delight?

I doubt it. Professor Vector may be all twitterpated today, but what about next class? What about when she discovers that Professor Briggs carries a secret passion for Professor Sinistra? What about when to console herself she starts dating Slughorn, even though she doesn't love him like she loves Sinistra—I mean Briggs—What about then? Maybe in her frustration and mild anguish she'll start to assign so much homework that I won't even be able to see Lily over the heap. It's best not to get too hopeful. It's best to just work with what you have.

And it's cruel of me to still think of pursuing Lily when I'm supposed to be dating Maggie. Except that we're not dating we're working on our friendship. So, isn't it all right if Lily and I are working on our friendship, too?

Nope, nope, nope. Even if I'm secretively dating not dating I need to focus and remember that Lily is taken, and I'm supposed to be learning how to get over her.

I need to remember that even if Sirius says that Lily basically admitted to not being happy in her relationship with Frank Sirius isn't always reliable, and I like Frank. Frank likes Lily, and I'd never do anything to hurt Frank. What's more, it's not like I have the ability to take Lily from Frank. She didn't want me before, and she's not likely to have suddenly changed her tune now.

Oh well. Enough moping. I shall write about happier things. And by happier, I mean not about Lily.

1. Maggie made it on to the quidditch team. So, I guess that will give us even more opportunities to work on our friendship.

2. My mother sent me a care package loaded with sweets yesterday. True, Remus and Peter have since devoured them all, but I got to enjoy a small taste of home.

3. Also, with the care package from mum came a letter. She says that dad has had a lot of success recently at work. He has a difficult job. He is a Wizengamot Lawbinder, which means he not only serves on the court, but reviews and revises wizard law. It seems immensely tedious, but he's always saying that it's not enough to just capture dark wizards if the system wont punish them, so he has spent years trying to make harsher laws especially on use of unforgivable curses and muggle baiting. Mum says that dad recently got through a law that makes use of any Unforgiveables on muggles equal to if they were used on wizards. This success will also mean that dad will be able to be home a bit more often and that should perk up mum.

4. Remus has started to do his homework in our dorm in an effort to avoid Mary. I don't support the avoidance, but now that he's doing his homework with us it's so much easier to bully answers out of him. I wish he'd taken Arithmancy though. Instead he took Runes because he just sees Arithmancy as an attempt to make fortune telling more reputable. True, it may have somewhat to do with fortune telling, but it's bloody hard and that should give it a little bit of credibility.

5. And . . . ummm, Remus is feeling much better now that the full moon has passed.

Darn it. A list of five things not related to Lily . . . hardly impressive, hardly impressive at all.

Oh well, I'm just human. It will take me a little bit of time to forget Lily. It will take a little bit of time to stop obsessing about my romantic goal of, I don't know, three . . . four years. Give me a little bit of time. I'll lick it.

Yours,
James

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Potions
September 25th

Remus, what think you of making this the new note taking class?

Sirius, be careful where you throw your notes. You made me spill armadillo bile all over the table. If it had gotten in my anxiety elixir the whole thing would have been ruined.

Whatever, Petey. You ruined your elixir yourself when you added the cockroach eyes before the tenticula venom.

If you noticed me doing this then why didn't you stop me? How am I going to fix this now?

Remus, what think you of making this the new note taking class?

This class is a good deal more hands on then Transfiguration. Though it's easier to get away with note taking in this class, I have a feeling that our work will suffer.

Remus, be careful where you throw your notes. You made me spill badger pus all over the table. Luckily, my elixir is still fine.

Look at how the bile is reacting to the pus. Very colorful, very colorful indeed.

Remus, is it true that you and Mary were yelling at each other in the library? What induced you to upset the peace and quite of that studious sanctum?

Prongs, do you just throw vocabulary words into our notes at random? I get the need to improve Peter's conversation, but it's a little bit ridiculous.

Sanctum is hardly a difficult word.

But, really, when does sanctum come up in casual conversation 'Hey fellas I'm exhausted I guess I'll just head up to my sanctum for a little nap.' See. It just sounds odd.

I wouldn't say I was yelling at her in the library. We were just talking.

But you've been so resolutely not talking lately that you talking is big news.

I hope that in the course of your talking you resolved your issues and that the two of you are now a horrendously happy hand-holding couple.

How care you criticize me for vocabulary when you have such a penchant for alliteration.

James, be careful where you throw your notes. You made me spill pixie blood all over the table.

Really, the ingredients of this potion are highly unpleasant. Do you think that maybe the threat of having to drink it is what induces the anxiety?

True. What with blood, pus, and bile there are hardly any precious bodily fluids missing from this concoction.

I can think of a few.

How tasteful of you.

But really, Remus, tell us about your tryst with Mary in the library.

Tryst is pretty bad too.

There was no tryst. There was only a conversation in which I established that Mary and I will not be holding-hands or having trysts, ever.

Cold, Man, cold.

What's wrong with Mary?

Nothing is wrong with Mary. I just have no intention of inflicting my condition on anyone else.

Unless you were planning on biting her during one of your dates, which is a mite bit more kinky than I'd expect from you, how is dating her inflicting your condition?

I'd rather not waste time writing about this any more. Clearly, this class in not a good note taking class. In our distraction both Peter and James have ruined their potions and you've barely started, Sirius. Plus, all the spilled fluids are starting to eat through the table.

Crap! When did I ruin my potion? Why didn't you warn me, Remus?

Guys, the smoke is attracting Slughorn. Hide the notes.

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From Horace Slughorn to Argus Filch:

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew apprehended for destroying a table in the Potions classroom and causing a large explosion by throwing parchment into their caldrons. Several students, including the perpetrators, and Professor Slughorn badly burned in explosion. Also, severe anxiety was noted in the rest of the classroom. Double detention.

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My Prefect Notebook

September 27, 1976

I've talked to Frank. I can't believe I wasted so much time fretting about it because when I finally got around to it, it was so easy. It was refreshingly easy, astonishingly easy, ludicrously easy.

I just sat next to Frank during breakfast and said, "Frank, I don't want to be so public with, ah, ummm, affection in the common room. In fact, I think we should sort of slow down the pace we're taking things in general, and just talk a little bit more, take a little bit more time to get to know each other. Don't think I'm a prude or that I hate you or something because I don't I just I'm feeling awkward with all these rumors, and I've never really been able to deal with gossip, and suddenly I'm the target of it all, and even first years know, and when I was a first year I certainly had no idea about who was snogging who, which just gives me the idea that we're definitely being way too public and going way to fast. So, can we slow down?"

Throughout the course of my rant I'd been gradually increasing in volume and pitch, and as I finished several of the people surrounding Frank were staring quite noticeably. Alice Fenwick, directly across from Frank, had bacon drooping from her mouth as she gaped.

But Frank, totally nonplussed, just turned to me and said, "okay" then resumed his toast.

I felt that was somewhat inconclusive so I fished for a little bit more, "And you're just totally okay with that?"

"Yup."

"You don't even have any opinion on this matter?"

"Well actually, Lily," he said giving me a puzzled look, "I'm confused that you're only bringing this up now. If you'd just told me on the get go we could probably have avoided most of the rumors."

"Ah."

And I left, leaving behind the poor puzzled Frank and all of his gaping compatriots. That's why I feel like a fool. Somehow I'd worked up this vision of Frank as a lusty irascible demon, and I was terrified to confront him. Yet, when I did he proved to be exceedingly agreeable. I need to stop thinking the worst of people, and of myself. I have this horrible tendency just to assume that I will be immediately hated in any situation I enter. Thus, I expect extreme reactions, but no. Frank proved to be the decent, lovely fellow that I've always known he is. Really, he's great. Really, I'm lucky. I have such a great boyfriend. So great. Really.

Anyway, after resolving things with Frank and lowering my self-confidence I trooped up to my dorm and ran into Mary and Marlene, Marlene lying on her stomach chin perched on her hands and Mary buried in a pillow. I sensed an emotional discussion, so I tried to slip out.

Marlene caught me. "Lily, get your arse in here. Mary and I need your input on a serious issue."

"Guys, I should really hurry off I have so much homework and then prefect duty and then I should probably write my mum."

"Lily, it's Sunday morning. You have no prefect duty, and if you have any unfinished homework, which I doubt, then you have hours to complete it. That leaves you with plenty of time to spend with us, your much neglected best friends."

Drat! Foiled. If only it was just Mary here, she's easily pushed off with an excuse, but Marlene will not be deterred. A rampaging herd of hippogriffs couldn't pull her off my back when she's determined to cling on. Oh well. I'll bite.

"So then, what are we talking about?" I asked, sliding onto the bed.

"Mary is feeling depressed and I and now we are pepping her up."

"I'm right here," moaned Mary from within the pillow. "Don't talk about me like I can't hear you. Stop treating me like I'm mental; I'm not mental."

"We know darling," said Marlene, patting her head. "You're not the least bit mental. We know." Then Marlene leaned over to my ear and whispered, "She's upset about Remus." This was a nice if futile attempt at subtlety. Marlene's whispers are carrying at best.

"Don't talk about Remus," moaned the pillow. "I don't want to hear about Remus anymore."

"Wait, Mary," I asked, "Did something happen with Remus? Did he say something to you? Do you need me to talk to him?"

"See," shrieked Mary, "I told you not mention Remus to Lily. Now you've got her fretting when nothing even happened."

"Oh don't bother about that," said Marlene. "If not this Lily would be fretting about something else. You know how she gets her kicks from it. She's a fretaholic."

"I'm not a fretaholic! Is that really how you guys see me? How long have you thought this?"

"So don't worry about Lily," continued Marlene, " Let us worry about you. You've been acting depressed and I know that bookish git has something to do with it."

"He's not a git. He's really a really nice fellow. I'm just being silly."

"Wait I still have no idea what's going on here," I said. " Mary, just tell me what's bothering you."

"Lily, you're so lucky that the guy you like returns your feelings. Cause this, this thing I'm feeling, this sucks," sniffed Mary.

"Which guy?"

"Frank, Lily, Frank," said Marlene, staring at me with raised brows.

"Ah. Right." Whoops. That was dumb of me. Now Marlene is bound to be suspicious about the depth of my affection and what not. But still, just because I'm currently happy doesn't mean I'm an utter stranger to heartache. When I was a third year I was rather madly into Fabian's brother Gideon. But of course, he was too old for me, and Fabian just hated that I liked him. He gave me a big spiel about avoiding guys who were so clearly trouble. Then, when I pointed out the familial similarities he got all huffy. Man, I'm going to miss Fabian.

Anyway, I then told Mary that I knew the pangs of rejection.

Hearing that she cackled for a few moments, her sorrow blistered voice cracking in an eerie fashion. "You? When have you ever had a boy actually reject you? When have you had someone tell you straight out that you're impossible to love?"

"Gideon. Remember? I used to have such a thing for him."

"He never actually rejected you. You were never brave enough to confess to him, and good thing too because you were thirteen and he was eighteen. I doubt he'd reject you now."

"I'd hope he would," added Marlene. "Considering that he's recently married."

"Is he really? I thought Fabian said that he broke off the engagement."

"Maybe he did. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else."

"Could you be thinking of Damien Goldstein?"

"Oh, is he married? I hope not that bloke was melt in your mouth delicious. No woman should have him except me."

"Hey, not fair!"

"Will you two go gossip elsewhere?" hissed Mary.

"Sorry dear," said Marlene. "I'm focused on you again. So, are you saying that Remus out and out rejected you? That doesn't seem like him."

"I forced him to it. Remus and I have been decent friends for a few years now. He'd help me study, especially with Runes, which I was absolute rubbish with. Anyway, last year we got really close. Studying with him was so fun because he was so kind, and smart, and even occasionally funny. I was completely in love with him, but I didn't go doing anything about it because I had no idea how he felt, and I was sure he couldn't reciprocate, and then, and then I did something stupid." She buried her face in the pillow again, her hands contorted, wrenching the colored fabric.

Really. How can they accuse me of being over dramatic?

"Mary, Mary dear," urged Marlene. "What did you do? You can tell me."

"I-I wanted advice. I wanted someone to help me figure out Remus's feelings. I didn't know what to do. So, so I figured I should talk to his friends, and I-I-"

"Oh no Mary," I moaned. "Which one did you talk to?"

"I didn't really intend to, but he was teasing me, and it just came out, and he seemed so eager to help, and he promised to be discreet."

"Which one?"

"Sirius," she muttered, in a pained whisper.

"Really Mary," sighed Marlene. "How daft can you get? You confide in Black and honestly expect him to be discreet. The boy's a natural showboat; he doesn't have a discreet bone in his body."

"I know it was stupid. I regret it. A couple weeks after talking to Sirius I started seeing Remus less and less. It was at the end of the year, so I thought he might just be busy with exams, but this summer he didn't answer a single one of my letters. When I saw him in Godric's Hollow he avoided me like I had dragon pox. So, I thought I'd give him a little bit of space once we got back to school and see if that helped. Only it hasn't helped at all. His avoidance has been getting really blatant. I'd walk into the library and he'd immediately leave even though I wasn't heading for his table or anything. Last week I finally got fed up with it and confronted him. I asked him why he was avoiding me, and he lied and said he wasn't. And that, that just made me blow up. I told him that if he didn't like me than he should just be a man and tell me to my face. But he said that it wasn't that he didn't like me but that he couldn't be in a relationship with me or anyone else."

Angry tears gathered at the corners of Mary's eyes. She was trembling, from either rage or sorrow, or perhaps both.

"What kind of cock-in-bull excuse is that?" asked Marlene.

"That's what I thought, so I told him that if he had another girlfriend or someone else then he'd been a real git leading me on all those months in the library. He started to get really annoyed then. He said that he thought I genuinely needed help studying that I had taken advantage of him wasting his time just because I was trying to seduce him, and that he wouldn't have helped me at all if I was going to assume all this romantic shit."

"I'll kill him, the smarmy—" spat Marlene.

"And that's not even the worst part."

"What did he say next, Mary?" I asked.

"I grew rather pathetic then. I apologized and said that I hadn't meant to accuse him, that I liked him as a friend before I developed romantic feelings, and that if he didn't have any romantic feelings toward me then we could just continue being friends. Then-then he said that we probably shouldn't be that either because-because he didn't want me getting my hopes up and it was impossible for us to ever be together like-like I wanted."

"Oh, Mary."

"I know. Isn't it pathetic? I'm so repulsive that not only will he not date me, but he dumped me as a friend."

"Would you like me to dump his corpse in the lake for you?" said Marlene, licking her chops. This, typical of Marlene, wasn't exactly comforting, and Mary collapsed into the pillow once more, her back trembling in her angst.

It's interesting. Now that I think about it, Remus, despite being relatively good-looking and normally quite nice, hasn't ever dated any one that I've heard of. I might just be ignorant to the romantic goings on of Hogwarts, but normally the Marauder's romance is big news. Remus is certainly desirable, so, the question is: does Remus avoid romance because he doesn't feel like bothering with it (which I would completely understand) or is there some other more personal reason?

Severus-crap-Snape used to tell me all these theories he had about Remus. I didn't put much stock in them before, but they weren't totally implausible. Remus could be a werewolf, couldn't he? I don't know much about werewolves, as in the real ones, not the muggle superstitions, but most wizards consider them really dangerous. Would Dumbledore really allow a werewolf to go to Hogwarts?

I shouldn't worry about it too much. Still, if I'm sure of anything I'm sure that Remus is a good person, a person who wouldn't deliberately hurt Mary unless he felt he had a very good reason.

Marlene and I continued to comfort Mary until we'd built her up from borderline suicidal to just minor self-loathing. Now that I've had time to ruminate on the matter, I can't blame Remus. I think the bulk of the blame rests on the heads of Black and Potter. Their taunting and teasing is what caused Remus to avoid Mary in the first place. If they'd have just held their tongues then Remus and Mary would still be library buddies, and she wouldn't be so utterly wretched.

I think Marlene has the right idea. It's time to give the Marauders a taste of my mind.

Love,
Lily

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A/N: Please drop some reviews my way you lovely, lovely, people.

Cheerio,

Droopy Breeches.