Tattoos and Tears

Chapter 12: Getting to Know the Neighbors

I go about helping Carol and the others set up their camp, Daryl with the group going off to look for Sophia. He looks over to me from time to time, sweetness in the wake of his smile.

Glenn starts to lay out a tent, Carol carrying over another. "Will you be staying with Daryl or in the house?"

I wasn't sure what to make of her question, just mostly taken aback by it. "Wherever Daryl is … that's where me and his daughter will be."

My tone sounds bitter, a chilling frost covering each one of them. From the look on Carol's face I knew she knew she's struck a nerve with me. "Oh … I'm sorry. I was just wondering if you'd be needing one of the bigger tents."

Feeling like a complete ass, I reach out and take a corner of her tent. "No, I'm sorry. It's the hormones talking."

Her head twitches sideways, Glenn chuckling behind us. "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah, about four months … maybe five. I know, not exactly the best time to have a baby. They cry and crying will lead rotters to us." She smiles, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Walkers … we call them walkers." Carol reaches over, touching my belly.

"They'll find Sophia, I know it. When Daryl Dixon puts his mind to somethin, he doesn't stop till it's done." I place my hand over hers, hoping my words give her heart some solace.

Daryl walks over to me, that look of redneck determination on his face. "I'm going back out to look for Sophia, I'll be careful … promise B.J. You gonna be okay here?"

I let my hand graze his arm, my fingers lacing into his. "Yeah, Beryl's inside with Beth and Patricia but once we have the tents up, I'm gonna move us out here."

"Okay. Just keep that gun with ya at all times. Hershel ain't wantin us armed but I don't care. Keep it hid under your shirt." He takes my gun from my back pocket, hiding it under the back of my shirt.

"Dixon … come back." He looks at the crowd around him, his lips twitching sideways.

"You too … Dixon." He walks off, not even a kiss goodbye. Daryl had never been a public display of affection typed, so I let him go with a smile.

After Daryl is gone, Lori walks over to me. I'd seen her look somber, sad and furious, but this new stoic side of her was a little unsettling. "Bobbi Jo, can I ask you something?"

We walk past the campsite, closer to the house. She places her hand on my arm, her eyes darting about. "I overheard you say … you're pregnant. Do you have any more tests?"

"I'm sorry … I don't. Why are you trusting me with this information, you hardly know me." I feel her hand tighten on my arm, her demeanor changing.

"You didn't have to give Carl your blood, but you did. I know I can trust you." A faint smile plays on her face and we both relax.

"Maggie and Glenn are going to the pharmacy in town; maybe they can bring you one back." Lori nods to me, whispering thank you as she leaves.

As I'm walking towards the house, I see Rick talking to Daryl. I don't hear much of the conversation until I'm nearly upon them.

"My point is it lets you off the hook. You don't owe us anythang. You have a pregnant wife and little girl that need you as much as Sophia does." Rick looks back at him, cowboy hat in hand.

Daryl looks over at me, my smile giving him the answer he's looking for. "Yeah, well my gurls will be here when I get back. Looks like any plans other than looking for Sophia fell through."

Rick slowly walks my way, the two of us sitting on the porch steps. "Why did you let him go? You just got him back."

"Because that's the kind of man he is, Daryl isn't complicated, but he does have a past that he wears daily. Someday you might get to know my Daryl." Kissing him on the cheek, I go inside to check on Beryl.

Hershel smiles at me as he walks out, looking me over. "You need to rest."

I rub my growing bump, nodding my head. "I will … when Daryl gets back."

He walks out, he and Rick talking by the porch. Beryl runs to me, her giggles echoing through the house. "Beryl, what did Momma tell you about being loud."

She hands her auburn head, a frown replacing her smile. "No loud noises … they might find us."

Squatting down to her, I lift her head up by her chin. "Momma loves Beryl."

She smiles, placing her arms around me. "Beryl loves Momma and Daddy … where he go?"

Beth walks in with a plate, sitting it on the dining table. She had piled and sliced an apple for Beryl, making her a snack. The sweet little farmer's daughter reminded me of myself when I was her age, her naïve nature and sweet smile was complimented by the light in her eyes.

I hold Beryl in my lap as she eats, my daughter rambling on about the new people on the farm. Sitting there, I can't help but wonder if Daryl is okay. My inner voice screams at me for letting him leave again, for not being more aggressive and making him stay.

I wrestle with my thoughts, half of me sure Daryl going off to look for a scared, lost little girl is the right thing, the other half anger as hell at him for choosing a stranger over his family.

"Can I go out to play?" Beryl's hands rest on my face, her big blue eyes pleading.

"Yeah, we'll go back out." My thoughts are clouded as I walk back out to the camp, Carol showing me the tent set up for me and Daryl.

Everyone is busy, most of the group off at the wells. I'm not sure what the deal is, Carol saying something about a walker in one of the wells. I sit up two cots, pushing them together. I hadn't held my husband in forever; tonight I was going to correct that.

Beryl plays just outside the tent, Carol watching her. "Carol, you want to straighten up the RV? We could make it look nice for when Daryl brings her back."

She wipes her tears, nodding. I take Beryl's hand as we make our way to the RV. The baby flutters inside me, letting me know I'm not doing any of this alone.

I begin to wash the dishes, Carol straightening up the bedroom when she asks me a question I'm sure had been on her mind all day. "Daryl doesn't seem like the wife and kid type of a man, how did you two met?"

"He lived close to my father's farm. He stole an apple pie from my mother's window seal and she knew it. She watched him walk out through the wheat field with it. I was sent to go look for my father, out through the wheat field and that's when I found him instead. I was twelve and he was fourteen. The rest as they say it is history." My memories of that day flash in my mind as if I'm watching an old movie, my younger self smiling so innocently at this grungy skinny boy, his fingers sticky from my mother's pie.

We work in silence a bit longer before another question pours from her lips. "Has he always been so … surly?"

I laugh; the thought of Daryl not being surly was implausible. "Carol, it's not a Daryl thing … it's a Dixon thing. You knew his brother Merle, but then again Daryl ain't Merle."

"I'm sorry you had to give him up again so soon after finding him. I know it must be hard to hold him one moment and have him walk away the next." I study her face, her eyes holding so much pain.

I could tell this woman knew pain and not just heartache. Perhaps Daryl saw his mother in her, the abuse she took at the hands of his father. The way Daryl would speak of his mother often made me think he missed her. Knowing firsthand how awful Daryl had it growing up, what he saw, what he'd been through; I knew he would want Carol to know some happiness even if it was in a bat shit crazy world.

Shane raps on the RV door, sticking his head inside. "Carol … we're ready to go back to the highway."

"Hey." I look at him and all I see is a man with a lie on his tongue and deceit in his heart.

He gives me the usual southern greeting of a quick nod as he pulls his ball cap down. Carol looks at me and I tell her to go on, I'd finish cleaning up the RV.

My mind wanders again, back to the way Daryl was then. He was an angry, lost little boy looking for someone to help him out of the dark. I see that boy in his eyes again; I saw it when I found him again.

I finish up in the RV, going out to help finish up the camp. The others start to wander back in, T-Dog building a fire. We get ready for dinner, Beryl repeating she's hungry.

With Beryl in my lap, I watch this group work together like a well-oiled machine. Rick looks beaten and battered, as if he's ready to fall over. I place Beryl in my chair, taking him about his waist. "Why don't you go back inside the house with Carl?"

Lori takes over for me, steadying her husband. I look over my shoulder to see Daryl walking back in, the evening sun starting its descent from the sky.

I look down to the beer bottle with a Cherokee rose inside. "That for Carol?"

He chews on the stem of wheat in his mouth, nodding his head. "I'll be right back. B.J. … thanks."

When his mother had died, my mother placed the same rose on her grave. Daryl asked her later why she did that and she told him the story, a story I'm sure he's telling Carol right now.

Beryl is nearly asleep as I lay on the cot close to ours, her little hands wrapped around her stuffed pony. Maggie asked me a few times to stay at the house, but my place is with my husband. I didn't care if it was a house, a tent or a pig sty, I would take it if Daryl is there.

I lay down on the doubled cot, reaching over to the emptiness next to me. Closing my eyes, I let the emptiness in my heart fade. "Not tonight … not ever again."

Daryl pokes his head in, looking at his baby girl asleep. "She been asleep long?"

"No, just drifted off." He picks her up, kissing her cheek. I watch as he lays down on the cot beside me, our daughter draped over his chest.

"Come here gurl." He pulls me to him, my head resting on his shoulder. I lay my hand flat on Beryl's back, Daryl looking very content.

"You haven't eaten yet." I move to get up only to have Daryl hold to me tighter.

"Don't move, I ain't done holdin you." His lips rest on my forehead, his fingers grazing my arm up and down.

I want to freeze this moment, hold it forever and never let it go. Casting my eyes up to my husband, I rise slightly and kiss his lips. He smile at first, quickly letting his lips move swiftly against mine.

After a few minutes, Daryl puts Beryl back on her cot and grabs his plate of food. He swallows a few bites, returning to my arms. I open my mouth to tell him how much I love him when he captures my face in his hands and gives me a kiss so deep I feel it curl my toes.

The feel of his lips on mine, his hands holding my face are like feeling heaven ascending down on me. Moving towards him, he lays back on the cot. I smile down at him, his blue eyes looking dark and smoldering. "I think we need a proper reunion."

He grins this belly clenching smile, running his hands under my shirt and taking my handgun out. He places it on the ground, returning his attentions to me. "I know just the place."

I give him a curious stare, his lips now conquering the skin of my neck. "We aren't gonna tonight?"

"Later … when everyone's asleep." His lips and hands lay claim to me again, causing violent shivers to wrack my body.

I lay there, my hands gently resting on his shoulders, allowing him to mark out his territory.

"Daryl … when … where?" He settles between my legs, my ankles hooking inside of his.

"Out by the pond." I knew exactly what he was talking about. Hershel had a fishing boat we could use; hide ourselves away for a moment of marital bliss.

I wouldn't have to wait too long, his need for me out weighting his patience. As we bump and grind on each other, our body mingling in ways they hadn't in so long, he pulls me from the cot and out towards the pond.

"What about Beryl?" I look back at the tent city, worrying about my baby girl.

He jogs back to the campsite, carrying Beryl into the house. As I'm standing there I watch Lori walk out, acting very nervously.

Daryl looks a tad embarrassed as he walks towards me, taking my hand and staying silent. I do the same, following where he leads.

He's all feral need and lusty want as he kisses me, pushing me down on the dock. I let out a moan, knowing tonight my long drought of needing him would be quenched.