The Frustration Compulsion: Chapter 12
A Bbt Fanfic
*a/n Hey guys! So, I've been told that my description of Sheldon kissing Amy in the previous chapter was rather enjoyable, to paraphrase the wording used. I'm so glad you guys liked it, that topic is something I've been mulling over for a long, long time and I honestly cannot say how ready I am for this second Sik coming in just under a week. If this next kiss is anything like the previous one, I think I might die (figuratively speaking) and if it's any better, who knows? I also wanted to tell you that this chapter actually involves a little more of the characters besides Shamy, but only minimal reactions and things like that. This story is still mainly based on Sheldon and Amy as a couple, and I wouldn't want it any other way. But, enough about that, I just thought I'd tell you guys how much I love every single one of you who read this story, and I applaud you for following it all the way up until now. Big thanks to those who have reviewed, you guys help me a lot with all the positive feedback, absolutely love it! I guess there's nothing more to say now except I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Reviews are always helpful.~
Previously…
For the second time since returning to his girlfriend's apartment, Sheldon leaned back into Amy, capturing her lips once again and kissing her with more fervor, more passion, and more intensity, than ever before.
This was certainly a kiss to remember.
And as Sheldon did nothing more than melt back into kissing and embracing Amy, all of their previous questions and concerns had disappeared, all but one.
Why had they waited so long to do this?
Currently…
So many things had changed and progressed over the course of one week, and Leonard moving out just added to all the chaos.
When Leonard had broken the news to their group of friends, it certainly wasn't something that Sheldon had been ready for, not even in the slightest. Usually every one of their friends tended to catch bits and pieces of things going on in each other's lives, so nothing was really a surprise anymore. Apparently this was not the case.
He probably should have expected the news to come sooner or later. He may be oblivious to many different aspects of human relationships, but a voice in the back of his head kept telling him that Leonard most likely was not going to want to live with him forever, especially when he had the option of living with the gorgeous blonde from across the hall.
Still, that didn't ease the clenching and unclenching of his chest as he listened to his best friend and roommate for nearly ten years deliver his most recent news with happy glances at everyone except him.
There was nothing he could say, nothing he wanted to say. What was there to say, after your best friend for so many years had decided to leave you for a blonde woman with nary an idea of what quantum mechanics entailed?
Nothing he could have done would have stopped the conversation that happened between him and Amy once everyone had left his apartment for the night.
*Flash Back*
"Amy, aren't you coming?" a concerned Penny asked her friend as she was half way out the door. Evidently, there were rumors regarding yet another girls' night once Leonard had left to go pick up his mother from the airport. While Sheldon was initially ecstatic about being able to spend time in the presence of one of the smartest minds that he had come to know, an apprehensive feeling had settled its way into his head; making the room spin as it intensified.
Amy, who, at the time, was standing in an open area somewhere in between the leather couch and the door that her Bestie was already half-way out of, turned her head from both of her friends, as if mentally deciding whether she was going to stay with her boyfriend or go with Penny.
It was her third time looking back at Sheldon that Amy noticed his expression shift – ever so slightly – to one that was actually different than his emotionless expression that he held all too much when he was around his friends.
And with Amy looking at him, Sheldon saw something shift on her expression too, and it was then that he knew that she had broken him.
She finally did it.
She had finally chipped away at his walls enough to see what was really inside. No more excuses, no more of his feigned laughter. There was no longer a need to hide behind the dark curtain that was reality. No more games, no more playing around. This was it.
Amy, as expected, had politely turned down Penny's offer with nothing more than a consoling embrace and a promise to follow through with next time's plans. Why Penny had been so upset, he had no clue.
That was how Sheldon found himself engulfed in a swirl of emotions that he found he had absolutely no control over. For no apparent reason what so ever, he had gone from feeling deeply upset and rather disturbed when Leonard had been giving his news, to disappointed and completely desolate when he had seen Amy contemplating whether to leave him or stay; as if just the thought of her leaving him had planted a seed of terror within him that only grew with each time that she failed to speak her comforting words to him.
But then, as if it were an everyday thing, his feelings had been altered, yet again, to those of pure joy and contentment when he realized that Amy didn't intend to leave him. The feeling had caused his shoulders to instantly relax and a breath of relief flooded out of his lips.
This was something that decided to leave just as soon as it came. In a moment's time, Sheldon's feeling of contentment and relief had somehow vanished, leaving a vague sign of restlessness and nervousness displayed in his twitchy eyes and fiddling hands.
If Sheldon had been born a girl, he would have easily blamed his changing emotions on his menses, but as this was not the case, he really didn't have an explanation. There was no time to mull over this, no time for testing or analysis of data. This was the real deal, and Sheldon wasn't entirely sure that he could handle such a task.
And this would be true, had there not been a light in the mist of his darkness. A glimpse into a perfect universe, a source of hope that promised a brighter future, one in which he was forever and always joined in companionship with one Amy Farrah Fowler.
It all seemed to make sense with a single touch.
A comforting effect seemed to radiate off of the brunette sitting next to him as she had her hand carefully placed on his knee. Her finger tips grazed gently against his pant leg, and her eyes had been observing his face with such simplicity, such softness, and such concern that was sincerely meant to make Sheldon see the bigger picture; one that proved it was okay to express his feelings, one where it proved that someone finally understood.
Could he really do it?
In the end, he decided that yes, yes he could.
*end of flashback*
Sheldon could have rolled his eyes, he could have said 'I told you so' when he found out what troubles Leonard had had while looking for a house with Penny. He didn't necessarily believe in a deity, but if he had, he would have thought that he or she simply didn't want Leonard and Penny to move out. And to be honest, neither did he.
But he couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it.
Despite everything that happened, Leonard was still one of Sheldon's best friends, and he couldn't do that to him. He couldn't blame him for falling in love; he couldn't blame him for wanting his lady to be happy.
After all, if he did that, he would be ignoring the fact that he felt the same way as him, and that still wouldn't change anything.
Not that he necessarily wanted more change.
Even more so, it was impossible to stop his brain from trying to wrap itself around the situation and make sense of it. He should've cancelled date night when Amy had suggested it, knowing that he was in deep distress and would probably need the time to mull over possible responses to the new changes.
No, he had insisted they carry on with their plans. He would not miss date night because of one simple thing that he had absolutely no control over. Amy didn't deserve that.
That was what ended up convincing Sheldon to hold Amy's hand during their movie later that night, causing a quiet gasp to slip from her mouth. She always fascinated him with her responses to certain stimuli. He never would have thought that he could make someone so happy.
Why they were both so surprised by his actions, he did not know. It was simple biology, a somewhat unique response to a certain stimuli. It made them no different than anyone else. And yet, here they were, pondering over whether or not to act upon these reactions, and sneaking glances at each other through the corners of their eyes while the movie playing illuminated their cheek bones with a soft, blue light similar to the blue of Sheldon's eyes.
In the end, they were both animals, the inevitable was bound to come sometime. But that time was not now.
"Amy," Sheldon acknowledged, keeping his gaze glued to the television screen. His voice seemed small and insignificant to the handsome prince's in the movie they were currently watching. It sent a shudder down his back just thinking about it.
"Yes," she asked as her breath hitched in her throat. Something was different about his tone. It sounded huskier than usual. Not that she minded…
"Please, refrain from staring at me for much longer and refocus your attention to the movie at hand." Though he couldn't see it, Sheldon felt Amy move away from him slightly and cross her arms. He could almost feel her glare pierce him in the side of his face like a dagger.
"And Sheldon?" she asked in return, her glare not getting any softer as her words soared through the air. After swallowing, he had briefly turned to lock eyes with her, hesitantly holding her gaze for a moment before dropping it, although he still faced her.
"That statement applies to you as well." Judging from the surprised look on his face, Amy guessed that her words had shocked him to some extent. She smirked inwardly, secretly amused that she knew that he hadn't been able focus on the movie at all with her sitting so close to him.
"What do you mean, Amy? I've been paying attention to this move the whole time." Even he couldn't hide the fact that his eye had twitched slightly, and he desperately avoided eye contact with her, clearly embarrassed about his lack of attention to their chosen movie.
"Alright, Sheldon. If you have been, in fact, 'paying attention to the movie,' then what is the main character's name?" The air quotations that Amy had used when quoting Sheldon had only added emphasis to her words, and he swallowed yet again and felt his face burn as a blush plagued his cheeks.
"Uhm… Jane…" This time it wasn't hard to miss Amy's glare as he had raised his gaze to meet hers momentarily, just in time to see it happen. Quickly, he averted his gaze back to the movie.
"Lucky guess." He heard her mumble under her breath before she, too, had turned her attention back to the movie.
By that time, their movie was well over half over, and the first quarter had been spent with Sheldon mulling over how Leonard moving out was going to affect everything that he had worked so hard towards perfecting for these past ten or so years.
The other half was spent with thoughts of Amy spiraling through his mind. Such innocent images of her smiling her crooked smile at him, making his heart rate increase. Images of her always being by his side, whether he had treated her well or not. She would always be there. She was Amy, and she was meant for him.
"What about you?" Sheldon asked, seemingly out of mid air. Amy was startled slightly, jumping a little before tearing her focus off of the movie and back onto her boyfriend.
"What about me, what?" came her reply, her confusion seeping through her voice.
"Do you know the other main characters name?" Something told him that she had already seen that movie, but he thought he'd ask her anyway, seeing as how he didn't even know himself.
"I… no… I don't… It's been years since I've seen this movie…" It was her turn to blush now and avoid eye contact, and it only took a moment before she completely took her attention away from the movie and turned fully towards Sheldon, studying his expression intently.
"Sheldon…" she started after a moment, her voice soft and quiet. "I believe it is my turn to propose something…"
