Dean raised himself on trembling arms blinking blood out of his eyes as he tried to focus his wavering vision on the approaching figure. She reached out a hand and closed it around his throat lifting him effortlessly so that the tips of his toes barely scraped the unforgiving ground that had already bruised and scraped what felt like every inch of him.

"Please" he whispered struggling to breathe and knowing with a sick feeling of certainty that she hadn't even begun to squeeze yet.

"Why should I grant you mercy?" Soda hissed, "You never heeded my pleas and you ignored my screams."

"I'm sorry" Dean choked out apologising freely for the first time in his life. "If I could take it back I would." He couldn't stop the tears from filling his eyes as he met hers. "What I did down there haunts me every second of every minute of every day and I know that it is nothing to what you suffer and i'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, i'm sorry I was weak and gave in. I'm sorry I caused you pain. I'm sorry, i'm so sorry. I wish I could go back and change what happened but I can't. I have to live with the knowledge of what I have done and what I have caused. I don't expect you to ever forgive me and I wish there was more I could do but this...this is all I can do."

Soda didn't reply as she examined his face her eyes following a tear as it broke from his control and slid down his cheek mingling with the blood resting there.

"You are truly sorry" she whispered to herself so quietly that he only just caught it. Suddenly she released him and he dropped like a stone to the ground groaning as he hit. He labourously pushed himself into sitting position panting as he tried to control his breathing and wincing as it worked his bruised throat.

He looked over at Soda who was kneeling on the ground a few feet from him, her head dropped forward onto her chest.

"Forgive me Dean" she said softly after a moment and Dean blinked with shock. "I should not have hurt you. I was blaming you for something that wasn't your fault. I know what was done to you, I just didn't care." her eyes closed and her forehead creased as she struggled with her memories, her voice hoarse and breaking as she voiced her thoughts. "It just hurts so much and I thought that if I could hurt one of my torturer's in return it would stop. But it wont stop, it will never stop, I can see that now." She raised her head slowly and watched him as he painfully pulled himself closer to her. "You are not the man you were then, you are stronger than you think. Everybody breaks" her voice trailed away as tears leaked down her cheeks and she looked on a memory he couldn't see, "everybody breaks.."

Dean reached out a tentative hand and laid it on her shoulder. When she didn't pull away he carefully placed his arms around her. He could feel her too thin frame trembling with cold and sobs as she cried into his shoulder. "Why did I have to remember?" she whispered into his shirt and Dean held her tighter his own tears escaping him.

"Because if hell isn't forgetting...it's remembering."

Dean didn't know how much time had passed before at last Soda pulled back from him her face composed but her eyes tortured. He couldn't help shivering as he saw the insanity there and just how close she was to snapping completely.

"Come on" Dean said holding out a hand and pulling her to her feet, "Let's end this, together."

......

Dean stood at the end of the bed looking down on Soda half buried beneath the large bed spread. It had taken some time but at last she was no longer shivering and the blue colour was fading from her lips.

With a sigh he turned away and almost jumped when he saw Castiel standing directly in his path. "A bell Cas" he said weakly, "That's all i'm asking."

The angel almost smiled as he sat down on a park bench and Dean was startled to see they were in a dark park. The motionless playground glistening with dew that was reflecting the moonlight looked earily familiar and Dean recognised it. This was where he had sat with Cas when he'd first told him about Soda.

"I'm dreaming" Dean muttered sitting down next to the angel who didn't respond, it was obvious enough without the need for verbal confirmation.

"What do you want?"

"Unless i'm mistaken you asked for my help" Castiel replied calmly as expressionless as always as he looked at the older Winchester.

"Everyone's been telling me that there is no chance that Soda can remember who she is but I saw Lilith Cas," Dean said earnestly, "She did something to her, brought back memories or something, she can remember hell so what else can she remember?"

"Dean-" Castiel began but Dean cut him off angrily jumping to his feet to pace in front of the angel.

"Don't give me anymore bullshit Cas, i've had about all I can take. Just tell me the truth for once."

Dean spun around to look at the angel again but he was no longer there, the park had vanished and in its place was a completely blank space. Everything around him was a bright white that went on forever in every direction except for the figure standing in front of him.

She was young, only about twenty four, her golden hair curling gently around her pretty face, her bright blue eyes fixed on his.

"Soda?" Dean asked shocked as he looked her over, this must have been what she had looked like as a human. Slender and kind looking, clothed in a simple blue dress that ended just below her knees.

She smiled, "Hello Dean" her voice was gentle and warm.

"Where are we?"

"In your mind, in your dream" she shrugged "Either way it isn't real."

"Then who are you? What are you?"

"I'm not sure" she frowned and Dean realised that her soothing voice had a slight echo as though it was drifting to him from a deep, hollow space. "I'm a memory of sorts, of the human I once was, i'm here to explain why I will never return to the way I was."

"What are you talking about Soda?"

She smiled gently, "First of all, my real name is Chloe."

"Chloe?" Dean muttered his eyes flicking around the white space looking for somewhere to sit, anywhere? He spotted the park bench Cas had vacated, the lone item in all the white and sank down greatfully on it. "What happened to you?"

"You mean how did I end up in hell?"

"Yeah"

Chloe came to sit beside him. "I guess it all started in 1914, my husband went to war, we had only been married a year when he went away. Within six months he was dead and I couldn't handle it. I wasn't strong enough, I thought the pain of losing him would kill me, I wanted it to." Chloe's eyes were a million miles away as she recalled that time from a lost life.

"How did you survive it?" Dean asked quietly.

"I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for my daughter. My baby girl, she was so beautiful." Chloe's face filled with love as she continued to speak, "She was my life, my darling Hannah. But when she was three she got sick, I tried everything, I was desperate. I asked everyone, but no one could do anything. She just got sicker and then just like that . . she was gone. I had been to an old witch woman, most folks just thought she was crazy and harmless but I had spoken to her when Hannah was sick, she knew things. She told me about a demon who you deal with, who would grant your heart's desire. I thought she was rambling but I was so desperate I had to try. My life was Hannah, I didn't have one without her. I called the demon at the cross roads and struck the bargain but it refused to give me the ten years. I could only make a straight trade. It never told why but I didn't hesitate, I wrote my Hannah a letter and slipped it inside her coat, I knew my mother would give it to her one day when she was old enough. I wrote another, explaining to my mother what I had done and begging her to look after my Hannah. And then I was in hell" Chloe's eyes darkened, "That is all there is to it. Even after everything I have been through, I would still make the same choice."

"How long were you down there?" Dean whispered aghast.

Chloe closed her eyes, "One thousand one hundred and twenty eight years."

"Too long" Castiel's voice drifted over them, "She has forgotten who she is, this woman before you no longer remains."

Chloe lowered her head to her chest and their surroundings shimmered morphing back into the moonlit park.

"No" Dean yelled "Not yet, there has to be something we can do."

Chloe faded from sight and Castiel was there once more sitting in the dark.

"I'm sorry Dean, her soul is damaged even if I could there is nothing there to retrieve" Castiel's voice was as sad as Dean had ever heard it. "Even now she carries only limited memories of hell that Lilith has planted within her empty mind and she does not want to remember any more than she has. Given the choice Dean would you not rather forget what you saw and felt in hell? You were there forty years, compared to Chloe, you have no idea what hell is."

Dean closed his eyes wishing he could shut the angel out, all he had asked for was hope and his prayer had been thrown back in his face.

"For now you have a job to do" Castiel reminded him and Dean opened his eyes to the cream ceiling of the motel room.

.....

"Hey Dean you okay?" Sam called over to him from the window, "You've been asleep for ages."

"I'm fine Sammy" Dean replied coldly sitting up and stretching his neck, wincing as it cracked.

"You were talking again" Sam pressed, "Nightmares?"

"You could say that" he glanced over to where Soda was sleeping. Not Soda, he mentally corrected himself, Chloe.

"It is time to act" a voice said and Dean groaned not holding back the scowl on his face as he took in the three newcomers. The blonde angel he recognised as Raphael was standing in the front, flanked by Anna and Castiel, it was he who had spoken. Nearly at his limit with worry over Chloe's fate, the seal that was being broken and Sam's demonic crap Dean wasn't in the mood for the coninued unannounced entrances of the angels.

"Now what?" Dean snapped running a hand through his hair as he stood up to face the three angels.

"Now what?" Raphael repeated mildly, "Has it indeed escaped your attention then that it should be light out by now?"

Startled Dean glanced out the window which was still as black as night, he saw Sam frown and glance down at his watch.

"Woah woah wait" Dean muttered shaking his head more to clear it than to deny what Raphael had said, "Isn't 'darkness' the ninth plague? Haven't we jumped a few?"

"Isn't is amazing what you miss when you are otherwise distracted" Raphael replied his eyes falling with contempt on Chloe.

"Not another one" Dean muttered under his breath suppressing a groan with difficulty, he'd just about had it up to here with all the self-righteous dicks that were calling themselves angels.

"We're on the last sign" Cas said quietly, his brow creasing in what could almost pass as concern as he looked at Dean, "You have to act now."

(Hey sorry i've disappeared for a while! Been busy but here's the next chapter for those still interested and another will hopefully be on the way soon. As usual, Please review :)