Chapter 12: Medicine

She wriggled harder than he anticipated. That, combined with the loud screaming, proved what a handful this little quarian really could be. With a quick adjustment Shepard moved her head closer to his shoulder. His ear would face the brunt of her vocal assault, but having her rest against his chest brought him a sense of stability. The muffled sounds in the bathroom focused his attention on his next goal. Carefully he opened the door and peeked inside.

She had taken what John had expected was the universally accepted position when one disgorged one's stomach contents. Though she originally shied away from the aluminum bowl, the ease of it being kept clean and properly sterilized lessened the quarian's initial fears and objections to using it. Though putting ones head into it was still a point of intense perplexity to her. She discovered the simplicity of it all one night after a long bout of turian wine and being chased around the cabin holding Shepard's hamster hostage.

However this was not a night of fun and games. The commander made his way over to the heaving woman and kneeled at her side. Her skin was a paler tint; the beads of sweat slowly joined and ran down her arms as her ribcage expanded under her heavy breaths. His gloved fingers reached for her neck and gently pulled her hair to the opposite side of her shoulders, keeping them from falling forward. Then he lightly rested his hand on her bare shoulder.

"Is this the fever?" John asked. A couple of deep breaths went by before Tali slowly shook her head. "Then it's the hormones?" he soon came to understand. She forced a swallow and nodded.

He couldn't help but feel for her. She was sick and he wanted to take care of her. Delicately he patted her shoulder, "When you're ready I'll be on the couch with your medicine," and forced himself up. The green face cloths were the softest. He grabbed the one on top and placed it next to her, then exited the bathroom.

More cautiously than ever, he picked up the bags with his free hand and slowly stepped down the stairs to the lower cabin level. When the bags were placed on the table he gently bent his knees and gracefully sat back into the couch. He wasn't known for being clumsy, but this moment was not the time to start tripping or taking corners too fast. With both hands now free he firmly held the baby out in front of him.

She was unlike any child he held before. This was really the first time he took a real close examination of her. The shape of her legs struck him the most, with the toes and fingers coming next. Her face was quite different from his wife's, the lines on her forehead were more pronounced and her ears were shaped differently. Above all, she was loud. "Well now, you're quite different than my little brother," he shared with her as tears streamed down her face. He only had a short time with his infant brother before the events on Mindoir, but somehow holding and handling her seemed natural to him. "Never thought I'd ever be holding a little quarian though," he said surprised to himself. Still though, he felt disconnected from this child. She was not quite what he was used to, not quite human to him. She was an alien after all and he thought about whether they would ever have a real connection.

With the discontent look upon her face he brought her closer and rocked her. She was sick, too and probably felt worse than she looked. The contents in the bag would help alleviate that and he scooted over to get a better reach inside. He couldn't help but notice as he gazed around the cabin that some of his belongings were gone. A small trophy he had and the medals he kept next to the bed were not where he left them. Also the blankets and the old bed cover were gone. As were some pictures he had hung up. The most out of place thing were some tattered rags on the coffee table. "What's going on here?" as asked the room and stood up.

In the chair next to Tali's desk he saw a tube wedged between the cushions. Somehow it must have been pushed into there. As he grabbed it he noticed that the small cobweb on the side of the chair that always caught his eye was gone, as were the dust rings on the desk. In fact, as he looked around, all the surfaces in the entire cabin were completely dust free. Even the beams on the ceiling were wiped clean. "How the hell did she make it up there?" he asked dumfounded.

Raela's cry brought him back to the task at hand. He cleared his head and grabbed the bag. It found its place sitting right next to him on the couch where he could easily dig through its contents and attend to the baby.

The first item he pulled was the PDA from Chakwas. That went on the table. As his hand found the med box he heard the bathroom door close and the uneven patter of quarian feet. Slowly, Tali made her way down the stairs supported by the rail, her legs barely kept her up. Shepard noticed her posture first, hunched, a solid sign that she was tired and grossly fatigued. The footsteps were heavy on the floor and she gave a slight moan as she collapsed on the bed. She laid there on her side and starred at Shepard on the couch.

The discoloration around her eyes, the darker tip to her nose, the blood drained from her face, this was the look of a sick engineer, but it was more than that. John noticed in her eyes the look of longing, a yearning that was suppressed by her weakened state. It was fully obvious what she needed. With a slight twist he moved the infant up and with his free hand tapped his thigh. "Hey, there's room here for two, you know," he smiled. Grudgingly she pushed herself up. A frown had taken over her lips, but as she stood up, she quickly scurried across the floor and slid into Shepard's lap, sighing as her arms easily found their way around his neck. He felt a light tap on his chest from her Pal'tec vis surden that hung from her neck.

A groan emanated from the woman as she nuzzled her face deep in his neck. Her body ached, but it was a relief to finally have him in her arms. With a deep breath she rubbed her cheek against the side of his face, eager to take in his sweat scent. Only it wasn't there. She dug her nose deeper trying to find it, trying to locate the source. It was frustrating. She pushed the urge away from her thoughts; at least she could still feel his breath on her skin. Even better though was to feel it on her lips. It was the tiniest distance to travel, but her lips and their destination would have well been light years away.

The realization dawned on her when she finally opened her eyes. Her beautiful human stared back at her through the clear plastic mask with tired, warm eyes. How could she have forgotten? She even dealt with the damn suit today. It was a temporary disappointment. It's not his fault, she told herself and caressed the side of his mask. He's here. At last we're together. She was suddenly overcome by an ache and nuzzled her face back in his neck.

"Fever's that bad, huh?" John asked. She could only answer back with another groan. "It can't be any worse than the one you had with me," he added.

"No," she strained her voice and shook her head, "my Bedr'tar with you was in no way bad," she gulped, "I will cherish that time for the rest of my life." Her words were sluggish, but she uttered them with great tenderness; though she looked like she desperately needed sleep.

"But you got to admit this time is different, you're not reacting the same as last time," John pushed.

With a push off the couch she positioned herself in front of his mask. She didn't want to confront him, but to see his whole face. "I had my suit on for that. It reg..." she gulped again and cleared her throat. She was having a hard time forming words, "regulated my temperature and gave me my meds."

"Then why don't you wear it? You don't have to…"

"John," she stopped him with a lone finger on his mask. She held it there until it glided down to the baby's head. "I need her to get as much exposure as possible." The fingers stroked the little head, trickled down the little back and then she pulled them back to her own bare breast, "breath to breath, body to body."

John was still concerned, "But she's just a baby, how are you getting so sick? If she's sterile…," Tali shook her head, "It's not her. It's the mother. It's because she came from her body," she blinked heavily and could barely kept her lids open.

"Okay, whatever," John flatly stated, "I have medicine for both of you." He placed the baby in Tali's lap and pulled the bag closer. The med box clicked and he handed her the various bottles and canisters inside. While she examined them John reached over for the PDA.

"Okay, there's a vile for both of you," he read from the Chakwas file, "I guess drink it now and another when you wake up next." He fiddled around for Mordin's PDA while Tali exchanged the tubes for the canisters. "Mordin says these are rubs to help with the fever," he squinted at the small font, "and they go on your…hot spots?"

"Our forehead, chest and lower back," Tali assured him and twisted open one of the canisters. The lid came off with a pop.

"Do you want me to do it now?" John asked. She nodded and he reached his glove inside and rubbed some gel out with his finger. He was confused however when he brought his finger to Raela's head. His gloves were too large and awkward to do the job. With gentle guidance from Tali's hand she put his finger on the child's forehead then rubbed the rest of the gel on by herself. "Hmmm, it is cool to the touch," she said with a smile, "lift her up." John was glad to see a little smile on her face and was happy to do as she directed.

After she rubbed the baby's back John laid the little one back onto his lap and watched as his wife rubbed her little chest. Immediately the crying stopped, "Wow, she must have been a warm little one," John commented. However she still wriggled like mad. "She's was pretty warm. I tried to get the air down in here, but I don't want her getting too cold," Tali said as she closed the canister and grabbed the vile. "There's two of these, they both for her?"

There were certain qualities about his lifemate that made John's heart pound significantly harder. Moment's when she was curious was at the top of his list, and the look she formed when in a query topped them all. He was still getting used to learning quarian facial expressions, but hers he thought, were so expressive and cute. The look she gave him while holding both the vials he'd remember for quite a long time. "No, one's for her, one's for you," he smiled.

She didn't like the sound of that, "Are they both the same?" The answer John found on the PDA, "She says the small one's for her, big one's for you. And there's more in here." The quarian frowned as she examined the vial closer then laid it on the couch. Quickly she grabbed the smaller one and twisted it open. "Hand me the tube with the nipple on it," she pointed at the table. John still couldn't get over how funny that word sounded coming from her; it almost made him forget what a hectic day he had. "Are you laughing again?" she inquired as she rolled her eyes.

"You got to tell me what these rags are for," he answered back.

"Don't change the subject." She popped the device on top of the tube and brought it to Raela's mouth, "Okay, nar'lai, drink it all up." The child obviously fought with her over the contents of the vial, but the stronger woman won as the smaller one submitted to the liquid. "There, all gone," she said after a minute and put the empty tube on the table, "I think she likes it more than her food."

After a minute the struggling child slowly ceased and succumbed to the medicine. With a calm, quiet little quarian now in his lap, John was eager to bring some relief to the other quarian in his lap, "Now your turn, bottoms up." That brought an unsure look to Tali's face as she hesitated with her tube. "You okay?" he said out of concern.

"Yes, I'm fine, it's just," she didn't know how to explain.

"What?" he looked in concern at her.

She struggled with the words, "I don't like Chakwas' medicine. It makes me," she was embarrassed and sighed, "It makes me…loopy."

"Loopy?"

"It's something she puts in it. I can have it later." She laid it on the couch but John's firm hand grabbed her wrist. He sternly looked at her, "No, you take this now," he said with authority.

"Is there something else?" she pleaded. John shook his head, "It's either this or a shot. You choose."

She sighed a breath of defeat, "Damn it." She starred at the bottle in her hand then reluctantly twisted off the top. The instant scent of it made her recoil. She looked to her lifemate one last time to see if he would reconsider, but his stern gaze told her he would not submit. Her jaw trembled, but she closed her eyes and emptied the contents of the bottle. She could barely keep it in her mouth and fought with herself to either swallow it, or spit it out and face the consequences. Her decision was made easier when a reassuring hand firmly squeezed her thigh.

With as much force as she could muster she lowered her tongue and allowed the fluid to go down. Her stomach instantly disagreed and she brought her hands back up to cover her mouth. It was unbearable, but she did not want to heave on her husband. She focused on the firm hand, the loving gesture from her human who wanted her to get better and with as much control as possible, forced the contents back down. With it finally down she convulsed and groaned with disproval, only to get a chuckle as a response from her mate.

"What are you laughing at, you bosh'tet?" the worn out quarian asked, leaning on her man. Shepard couldn't wipe the smile off his face, "Of all the things we can't share, we end up with the same tasting medicine." He chuckled as he dug through the med box.

She wasn't feeling the humor, but she was too tired to do anything about it and just continued to lean on him and feel his chest rise and fall as he breathed. She almost dozed off, something she would have enjoyed, but Shepard stuck something to her forehead. She lifted her fingers up to feel the smooth object, "What is this?"

He had separated the strip off the backing an applied a second one to the baby's forehead, "These are temp strips, you should have them on so we can see your temperature. Doc says you can't go above 94º." She looked down and saw the rainbow colored sticker on Raela and figured it was a good idea. So used was she to relying on her suit to warn her. The little cry from her lap alarmed her and she looked down to see Shepard moving the baby into the bubble. With her seat now entirely free she scooted all the way into his lap and flung her legs over the side. Her arms firmly around him she now leaned on her side and held him closer.

She was comfortable now. Maybe the medicine had kicked in, or maybe it hadn't. She didn't feel it, but being held and watching the little child being tended to was very calming. "You're doing a good job," she said fondly.

"You're the one who's doing a great job. She's alive because of you," he warmly told her.

Times like these she couldn't help but to nuzzle her head harder into his chest, "She's alive because you saved her."

He turned to look down at her. He wanted so badly to smell her hair, to run his hands along her bare arms, to give her any warm, intimate sensations. However, he couldn't even kiss this woman. The roles have been switched, but he knew she understood more than anyone else, "Ne'Bahnté, how are you?" he asked.

It was the warmth in his eyes and the look of concern on his face that she saw when she turned to answer him. With a groggy groan she buried her head deeper into his chest, "My body aches." She rested the side of her face so she could look down on her body, "My neck is stiff and my legs have a rash," she traced her fingers down her legs. She adored her legs, but now the discoloration, she felt, made them loose their appeal. "My voice scratches," she traced her finger along her throat.

John could only rub her arms affectionately, "There's a cream for your legs. The medicine can help with the fever. You'll just have to brave out the hormone changes."

She sighed to try to relax and enjoy a peaceful moment, they didn't come easy today. "Also," she looked down and traced her fingers down her chest, "my breasts are a little sore," she said with a hint of sadness.

"Really," John exclaimed, "that's a good sign. Can you…"

She let him linger and only answered with a shake of her head, "Ne'Bahnté, I'm worried."

"What are you worried about?"

"What if," she tried to bring up all the thoughts she had today. Each thought brought a new experience. Each experience brought a new doubt to her, "what if my body can't create Mother's Milk? What if it's not will power, but I just can't? What are we going to do?"

"Umm,"

"And what if I can, but her body won't accept it? What if an air filter breaks down and she gets sick? What if there are other children aboard, will they make fun of her?"

"Well, I hope not…"

"Are we doing this right? Are we doing enough? Are we doing too much?" she emotionally added. She wasn't logically listing scenarios, but was emotionally living each one. "Keelah, two days ago I was just trying to be a good lifemate. Now I have to be a mother?" She buried her face in her hands.

"Shhhh…" he hugged her tighter and tried to sooth her. She never acted this way when out and about this ship, but she could get herself worked up sometimes. "Shhh, you're doing fine. She's alive, she has food and comfort and she has two people taking care of her that love each other and," John looked down at the alien child, he had his doubts in mind, too, "will give her all the love she needs." He looked around the cabin for a distraction, "Tell me about these rags on the table." The key was to get her thinking of something else.

Her eyes followed his hand as it pointed at the table. "That's a…" she pondered saying the word. It was just a regular, common, almost meaningless Khelish word, but in English it was a phrase that was rather vulgar and insulting. She didn't think John would want that associated with a child, "um… it's called… a knotted doll." She felt his body pulse as he nodded his head. "Both, um…parents take a piece of their realk and weave it together. It's presented to the child and sometimes is their only possession. It's strong and will withstand many years of sterilization cycles."

Shepard took a moment to admire it, "I see your realk, but I don't have one yet. What's the other…"

"Oh," she anticipated this, "that's from an old N7 shirt, the one on the bottom of your drawer."

That wasn't news he wanted to hear, "That's my favorite shirt."

She knew that might upset him a bit. It was still hard for her to understand the idea of being attached to clothing. The fact that it was a soft, sturdy material that had meaning to him was why she picked it. She needed to defend her decision, but she also didn't want him to think his ideas and beliefs didn't matter. "I felt that you would have picked the same shirt, had I told you the meaning behind it. I'm sorry."

The damage was already done. Tali loved that shirt on him and he would take it out once in a while when she wanted him in something soft. However he couldn't be mad at her, there were sacrifices each of them had to make. He shouldn't make a big deal out of the shirt anyway.

"I started it, but I want you to finish it," she nervously continued when he didn't say anything.

He realized his silence while he was thinking might have made her uneasy. "Oh. Yeah, definitely." His hands rubbed her arms to assure her he wasn't upset, "We'll do it tomorrow."

She looked at him and smiled; glad to know he wasn't taking his shirt being destroyed too hard. With her head rested back on his chest she watched as he lifted the baby out of her bubble and into the air. "Okay," he said, "let's see what your temp it."

The rumble in John's stomach made Tali jump straight up. "John!" she exclaimed with her hand on his stomach, "You're hungry. Let me make you dinner." She rushed over to her desk, opened up the bottom drawer and started to take out cooking supplies.

The sudden movement made him readjust Raela, who might have slipped out of his arms had he continued to give her to Tali. By the time he stood up the frantic quarian had taken out a hotplate, a bowl and spoon, a napkin and a can of soup. She was no culinary artist, but she took great delight in being able to prepare him a simple meal.

"Tali," he called, interrupted by the wriggling child in his arms, "wait, stop." She had placed the can on the table and was about to open it when John put his hand on the top of it. "I've already eaten."

She brushed her hair out of her face as she turned to look up at him. Her expression was confused, with a hint of a letdown. "I'm in my suit, remember? I had a bite to eat before I came up," he continued.

"Oh," she sighed. She couldn't believe she had forgotten again. Her hand let go of the can and John pulled it up. "Besides, I don't think you'd have wanted to open this with Raela out in the open."

Her hands quickly covered her gasp and she backed away from the desk. She was terrified that it never occurred to her that the contents of the can could make Raela sick. How could she have not figured that out? She started to breathe heavily and placed a hand on her chest, right below her medallion.

John saw how she responded and quickly pulled her into him. "Hey. It's okay," he hopefully reassured, "it's going to take a while for us to get used to this. That's why we have each other."

She buried her face in his chest, "How could I have not seen that? If I opened that can of soup and that made her sick?"

"Calm down, sweetheart. It's alright," he said as he took her hand and led her back to the couch. "Here, sit right here," he tapped his lap, "and help me go through the items you had me buy." She frowned, but it was a better idea than lamenting every mistake she could have made. With a glance to her side she saw her seat and dropped down into her lover's lap harder than she liked.

Immediately she felt dizzy and tried to shake it off, but was instead overcome with warmth that radiated from her stomach outwards to her finger tips. Did I sit down too fast? Slowly the warmth overtook her and the room stopped spinning and had given her a chance to regain her bearings. What was I thinking about? There was a residual feeling left over from some emotion she just had, but she couldn't bring it up. She shrugged it off as the warm feeling kept moving throughout her body.

The bags were moved to within reach and Tali dug through the closest one. Her fingers recognized the item they had found and she gleefully retrieved it. When the used item came in to view she sighed, please tell me he didn't pay full price for this. "Ne'Bahnté, this wasn't too expensive, was it?"

"Um," John replied as he struggled to attach the nipple to a tube of #14, "no. I got that at a used depot. I know how much it means to you to receive something used." He continued to work the rubbery device.

The happy quarian blushed at the heartfelt gesture of the human. For the longest time he only bought her new items, she thought he'd never grasp the importance to her. He's starting to understand. She placed the item on the couch and continued to bring out items from the bag. "A book, from Kelly?" she said as she examined the small gift.

"Yeah, the crew surprised us with some gifts."

The engineer was surprised by how quickly everyone had gone out to get this small child a gift. She didn't think anything like this existed outside of the flotilla, especially when a quarian infant was involved. So much has changed in these last few years, ever since that fateful day on the Citadel as a lone pilgrim. It started when someone had treated her differently that day and then showed that same love towards her people. It all started with this courageous man in front of her. Never would she have thought she'd find a real home outside the flotilla, but she has learned that every day he can, any where he can, this human builds her one.

"Some of these gifts we'll open in a week," she said as she examined the wrapping, "after we can properly sterilize them." With a smile she put some of the items back, however the warmth she felt from before still lingered. It felt good, as if she could let go and float free in the sky.

As she closed her eyes she was able to feel the warmth move within her, from her finger tips all the way to her ears. Whatever was in that vile feels different. It feels really good. She tried to focus the warmth in one spot, her legs, and when it moved she held it there and enjoyed the way the warmth made her muscles relax. With focus she moved it up to her arms, then into her chest. Her breaths deepened and slowed. Naturally she lowered it into her stomach, where it lingered for a few seconds, until the heat intensified and her nausea threatened to return. Quickly she pushed it straight down, away from her sickness. With the heat away from her stomach she felt relieved and proceeded to push it lower and lower, back into her legs, but before it got there it hit another area of her body, an area that caused her to quickly open her eyes.

Her breaths quickened, but where still deep. A new tingling sensation had erupted inside her. Quickly a soft smile blossomed on her face as she started to rub her legs together. Oblivious to the still struggling Shepard she leaned on her side against him and caressed her free hand on his shoulder.

He had finally gotten the device popped onto the tube and had started to attempt to feed Raela. As Tali watched him she continued to rub his shoulder and allowed her fingers to feel the definition in his muscles. Curious for more she lowered her hand until her fingers found his chest and rubbed him, her finger tips exploring in more detail.

As she watched him struggle with the child to try to get the tube in her mouth she moved her hand lower down his torso. She stopped over his stomach and she spread her fingers out and pressed firmly on the solid mass. She felt the warmth inside her intensify and she allowed it to continue. It was a feeling she didn't want to stop. She knew her hand only had a small distance to go to its newly intended target and only one small thing was in her way.

Delicately she glided her hand over on top of John's and moved the tube away from the baby. "I think she's had enough for right now," she said and elegantly placed the tube on the cushion. With both her hands she lifted Raela from beneath her arms, stood up and placed her back in the bubble, where the little quarian laid without a peep. "I guess she wasn't that hungry," Shepard said a little disappointed. Tali smiled, "You'll get plenty of opportunity, trust me." She stood now, in front of Shepard and looked down on him. The warm spot intensified and she pushed it outward to her skin.

It was a simple move, really, one that he should understand. She didn't want to merely sit in his lap, as she could and did in public. Not this move. This move he had to know the meaning of. She was quarian; she can communicate in subtlety only so much. Sometimes she needed to make a bold move. She looked him up and down with her imaginative eyes and stepped up to the couch. One by one she gently slid her knees onto the cushions, just outside of his legs. When she was fully supported by her own she shuffled forward until she was sure he could feel her heat through his suit.

She placed her hands underneath his chest, hands that were eager to continue their journey downward. They made it to his hips when he reached down and held them in place. "Tali, you're really sweating a lot," he said concerned. She rotated her wrists and slid her fingers toward each other and kneaded the area underneath his belly with the heel of her hands. "Don't you like the smell of cinnamon and honey?" she smirked and said with deep, breathy words.

She saw him look up and down her face, as if searching for something. When she couldn't tell what he was feeling, or what he was hiding she decided to make her move. Screw subtlety. With one motion she slid her hands down his suit to that sweet area she's been hungry for. She followed it up when she slid her hips forward and pressed her breasts against his chest.

"Whoa there!" Shepard exclaimed and forcefully moved her hands up and away from him. This only caused her to smile devilishly and knead her breasts into him even harder. He let go of her hands and placed them on her shoulders, "Hey," he nervously chuckled and pushed her gently away. "Wow. Sweetie, hey," he tried his best to calm down his own excitement, "Um, why don't we find this time to, um…"

"I'm enjoying what we're doing," she said playfully as she bit her lip. She pushed her hands back down, where they were now free to continue their kneading. "Don't you like how easy I can touch you now?" She moved her lips closer to his face mask, right up to his ear, "I had the suit taken in a little," she whispered and then twisted his flesh with a firm grip from her hand, "Did you notice?"

"Okay," John called and lifted Tali up in his arms. She squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling. When he reached the edge of the bed he threw the delighted quarian on top of it. On the second bounce she spread her arms out and rested her feet on the sheets. The excited quarian giggled in delight as she gazed intensely at her human who watched her rub her legs together.

Her human, though, had put his palms out in front of him, "Sweetheart, settle down. You're really sweating a lot. We need to cool you down a little." He too, was trying to settle himself down.

She giggled as her limbs moved over the bed. She couldn't control her hands as they grabbed the sheets, the cloth felt so soft. Her toes too were also digging into the soft sheets. Then a thought occurred to her as she continued to rub her legs, hopefully giving her man a chance to catch a glimpse of that hot spot hiding between them. "And how do you intend to do that?" she smiled at him.

Shepard's jaw trembled as he caught a glance of the small area she cunningly tried to show him. He sighed as he turned around and picked up the container with the gel. As he turned back around she gazed at the canister and her eyes lit up.

Immediately she flipped over onto her elbows and knees and presented Shepard with her bottom wards. As she looked back at him standing behind her from the side her hips started to sway, a motion that beckoned him. Her attempt to make her lower back easily accessible to him also fully exposed her little secret, but it shouldn't be that much of a secret to him now how much heat she had for him.

"Now, we have to cool you down. I'll rub this on you, but afterwards you need to take a nap," he nervously said as he loosened up the cap.

"No," she objected, "I waited all day to talk to you." She then rested her head on the bed, "I'll be good." John sighed and with tremendous will power he dipped two fingers into the gel and brought his hand to Tali's lower back.

The hot quarian winced as the cooling gel touched her skin, but as it cooled she moaned and it brought a soothing sensation to her. It was a great pleasure to get comfortable, she didn't realize how hot she had felt. Though, to feel her lover's hands, well his gloved hands at least, on her skin electrified her even more. As he rubbed in large circles she felt her hips counter in their own swaying motion. It was only the first step, but somehow she was going to get him to touch her, the part of her that was screaming inside her body to be touched for quite a while now.

The control over his breathing took great strength. He has massaged and rubbed her before, but it was still electrifying to touch her. Even though the suit took away the pleasure-full sensation of touch, taste and smell, he still had sound and visual. The little sound she had just made caused his heart to skip and the visual was driving him nuts. The fact that he couldn't take her kept echoing in his head and where he would have eventually taken his hands any other day was now off limits to him.

He wanted to give her the much needed release she desired, wanted to his fingers to take her on a glorious journey to completion, but he knew that she'd be compelled to return the favor. That was the quarian way. He couldn't take that risk, no matter how much he wanted to. Right now they had a mission, their own personal mission, and anything that exposed that small child to any dangers was to him forbidden. Gently his eyes gazed from his lover's lower back to that small area he desperately wanted to touch. Damn.

He took his hand off her and stood back, "Okay, flip over."

The hot quarian happily complied and bounced as she flipped around. She felt a little better, but she was still hot. This time though she had no need to hide anything and was delighted to move her arms and legs about the sheets and relish as her human soaked up as much as he saw. She knew that if she arched her back a little he might give into her desires.

Shit, I'm an idiot, he thought as he saw his quarian lover sprawled on the bed. Every curve was exposed. Every crevice, every crease, every bead of sweat danced in the erotic show in front of him. Where he thought he had strength and will power before was now dwarfed with the huge task at hand. His mind swam with thoughts, scenarios, lustful outcomes, any image his primal mind could conjure. The airlock looked pretty tempting right now. When she arched her back and slowly drew her fingertips on her skin his knees gave a little and the tight crotch on the suit became unbearable. "You're not making this easy for me," his voice broke.

"It's not supposed to be that hard," she said as she reached for his hand. It wasn't hard to grab, he held it right in front of him as if he were frozen still. She reached for the other hand and brought him closer to the edge of the bed. With a small tug she managed to get him to kneel on the mattress. She casually raised her leg and rubbed it between his legs, "I'm ready for you to continue," she smiled and followed it up with a cough.

The cough was the key. John looked down at her, all the thoughts he just had of her still swimming in his mind and this one cough put them in order. He still felt the heat and desire from before, but as he looked at her sweat covered skin and looked closer at her face he saw what he momentarily forgot to look at before. She was sick. She needed to get better and if they continued she might get more sick and possibly risk the child's health. Suddenly it became easier and he dipped his fingers in the gel.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he brought his hand up to her forehead.

She responded with a smile and a nod, which made him miss his target. "Hold still," he said with a smirk. Tali playfully tapped his wrist and pushed it aside.

"You're worse than the child," he teased. She laughed and accepted his hand to her forehead on his third attempt. It was cool to the touch and again, she didn't realize just how hot she had become. She looked up and peered into the eyes of the man taking care of her. He finally loosened up, she thought. She grabbed his arms and pulled them over her head. "Behave, we need to finish this," he said, his mask inches from her face now. He pulled back and finished dabbing small spots on her cheeks and the tip of her nose. She laughed when the tip had a small dollop on it.

He sat back on his haunches and dipped his finger in for more gel. She had anticipated this next part for some time now and tried to hide her hungry smile. Gently Shepard rubbed the gel on her chest in small circles.

Again, Tali was surprised by how hot she had gotten. She started getting chills as the cream was rubbed across her chest and her shoulders. She moaned and then thought of that one spot which this cream wouldn't cool down and the path from here to there. She reached her hand behind his knees and started to grind her hips against them. As he sat back up to close the container she grabbed his hands, "you didn't get my entire chest."

He looked down to her as she pulled her hands closer to her chest. "There are at least two areas you missed," she smirked and shook her shoulders a little. The move was real subtle, but it was enough to make the mounds of flesh on her ribcage jiggle and spring back to their resting position. His hands shook as a bead of sweat polled down his cheek, "There's not enough gel. Besides, it's not meant for that." He brought his hands back and attempted to cover to canister again.

Again she grabbed his hands, adamant in her quest. "Could you at least… rub my belly?" she asked innocently.

John knew where this was going; she had not stopped grinding her hips against him for several minutes. The temptation to give in to her was great, bordering on overwhelming. What made it worse was that she was the only person in the galaxy who could overwhelm his temptations. However he must remain strong and resolute. "Sweetie," he starred her down, but she was not going to give up that easily. She wanted, no, needed this. Badly.

"Please, Ne'Bahnté?" She pleaded and looked down to her tummy. She drew her finger on the small pad of flesh beneath her belly button and looked up at him and pleaded with her eyes, "Just this little area. It's very warm."

After a hard moment of contemplation John popped the cover off the canister and dipped his fingers into the gel. He cautiously stroked the skin with his finger tips as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the comfort the gel brought. However much cooler it made her skin it made her just that much hotter between her legs. She knew if she did it right, she would get him to where she wanted him. "Could you rub a little more, please?" She tried to sound as pure as possible. When he obliged she made sure to thank him with a pleasurable moan. When she felt him nervously lift his hand off of her, she gently grabbed it and pressed it back against her skin, "just a little more?"

"Sorry, Tali. That's enough," he gently told her.

"But there's another area," she said and pushed his hand down between her legs, "and it's really…hot," she giggled. He quickly pulled his hand away, but the quarian's lightning hands snatched it and pulled it back. "Tali," he firmly stated.

"What, don't you want this?" she replied with her hips grinding against his palm. With force, but not speed, John pulled his hand out of Tali's and grabbed her wrists, "Tali, behave yourself right now."

She enjoyed the struggle, but she knew she'd make it on top. A pinned quarian doesn't stay pinned for long. She countered his challenge with a mischief smile, "Behave myself? Or what?" She moaned once more as her hips pulsed against his leg.

He knew he didn't want to say it, or hurt her, but he had to take control over the situation before he couldn't control himself any longer. "Or, I'm going to leave," he said dead serious.

"You wouldn't!" the shocked quarian called as she flipped herself over on her knees. All the sensual energy she felt a moment ago drained before her eyes as she panicked at the thought of her lover abandoning her. "Tali," he tried to reassure her, but she was already starting to lose her nerve.

"I'm sorry," she said as she looked down in shame. Her hands started to shake as she looked around for something in the room. "I've made this harder for you than it should be," she said then got off the bed and skirted around toward the closet, "here, let me put on a robe." She was stopped when her arm was grabbed by John.

"Hey, you did nothing wrong, there's nothing to be sorry about," he tried to reassure her and pulled the upset quarian into his arms.

"I'm just… I miss you," she admitted and pressed herself into him, as close as she could get. It was the closest she had been to him all day. "Don't leave me."

"I would never leave you," he soothed and rocked her in silence.

"I'll behave," she said after a shaky moment.

John chuckled, "Hey. It's okay to be horny," he said as he rubbed her back.

The embarrassed quarian put her face in her palms, "Ugh, let's just forget about it, okay?"

"As you wish," he comforted her and led her to the couch, "you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," she said rather disappointed, both in the situation and in herself, "I'll be fine."

John pulled her down into his lap, "Tell me more about your day."

They both settled into their seats, but she was surprised. She thought he would need her to cool down on the cushion next to him, but his eyes told her that he wanted her no place else. John, words can't express how badly I want you right now, how hungry I am to have you join with me, but we'll have each other soon enough. She nuzzled her cheek on his chest. Until then, I'll do my best to help you get through this. "I've already talked a little about my day," she said then rubbed his chest, "Tell me about yours."

"Well," he said as he recounted all the events of his day, "let me tell you about this turian…"

A/N

Thank you for your patience. I hope a nice long chapter will make up for the long period between this and the last update. The next chapter will be a little difficult to write, but will be up soon. Hope you enjoyed it.

Bedr'tar- One's first fever with a bondmate/lover.

Ne'Bahnté- 'My Lover' from the online Quarian Dictionary

Pal'tec vis surden- A medallion worn by a bonded female from her bondmate symbolizing their future life. –Calinstel's 'To Survive' Series