A/N: Short and hopefully sweet one this time. I've had a bit of RL stuff to do the last few days, just haven't had the time. Thank you, as always, to you guys who took the time to leave a review. You know I love it =)
Disclaimer - I sadly don't own or have anything to do with Skins.
Chapter 12
Being wrapped up in Emily Fitch was really one of the nicest ways you could ever imagine waking up. Naomi roused from somnolence gradually, allowing herself to indulge in the warmth of Emily's body, the feel of the smaller woman in her arms. Just for a couple more minutes. She sighed, carefully extracted herself from their embrace and eased off the bed.
She made herself some coffee, collapsed onto the sofa cup in hand. Only to jump up again when her half-asleep brain assaulted her with vivid recollections of last night's activities. After roaming around the flat aimlessly for several minutes, she found herself settled into the armchair in her bedroom. Watched the rise and fall of Emily's steady breathing. Smiled at how peaceful she looked.
When the caffeine finally permeated into her sluggish brain she almost wished it hadn't. Her tranquil enjoyment of Emily's presence in her bed evaporated as the significance became clear. Emily had stayed over. They had... Naomi couldn't quite define what exactly had taken place on the settee last night. Other than that things had gone further than they should have. So much further.
She stewed over it as she finished her coffee, went to get a refill. Ended up back in the armchair, unable to resist the pull of the glorious vision in the bed. Furious at herself for her complete lack of control when it came to Emily. God twatting damn it all to hell. And back again.
Naomi was so focused on her fulminating ruminations that she almost missed the change in Emily's breathing, heralding the redhead's imminent awakening. She watched, entranced, as Emily stirred. Stretched. Hated herself for not being able to look away.
Brown eyes blinked open, looked blearily around the room until they alighted on the tall form in the armchair. Naomi could not tear her gaze away from the warm smile, the welcoming recognition in Emily's look. 'Hey.'
'Hi.'
'What...' Emily cleared her throat. 'What are you doing over there?'
'Errr...' She bit back several sarcastic answers. 'Drinking coffee.'
'I can see that. I meant, why are you there, and not here?' The redhead rolled onto her side, supported her head on one hand. Patted the space next to her.
Naomi felt her stomach flip, responding to the sleepy rasp in Emily's voice, her inviting expression. Fuck. Because I've got no control any more. Can't keep my hands to myself. Or any other part.
The turmoil must have leaked into her expression because Emily sat up suddenly, staring at the blonde intently. 'What's wrong, what's going on?'
Damn her for being so fucking perceptive as well. 'Nothing, I just...' She sighed at the disbelieving look on Emily's face. 'Look, I just...' Took a deep breath, let it out slowly. Deliberately. 'Last night... it wasn't meant to happen like that. We agreed to take things slowly... I need to take things slowly. And you just... You have this effect on me, you manage to override any shred of control I'm clinging to and just... And what's going to happen now, you know? Things went too far and now..'
Emily rolled her eyes, threw off the duvet. Stood. She walked over to the chair, grabbed the cup out of Naomi's hand. Sat in the blonde's lap. 'Naomi, would you just relax? Please.' She took a sip of coffee, wrinkled her nose in disgust. 'Ergh, how do you drink it like that?' She placed the cup on a nearby chest of drawers. 'So things got a little out of hand last night. So what? It doesn't have to change anything. We don't need to redefine our relationship based on the fact that we got a little carried away.' Emily paused. The corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk, she raised an eyebrow. 'Not that I think we really did. It just happened. Things just happen. You need to stop thinking so much and enjoy it.' Another pause. 'I know I did.' Naomi couldn't help but grin at the cheeky tone, the knowing glint in brown eyes. Emily leaned forward, rested her forehead against Naomi's. 'Stop worrying so fucking much okay. It's too early in the morning for me to have to think this hard.'
Naomi sighed quietly. Gave in to the redhead yet again. 'I'll try.'
'Good. Now come and get me some coffee that I can actually drink.' She clambered out of Naomi's lap and stood. Reached under her shirt, obviously readjusting her bra, trying to refasten it. 'Fuck. Naoms, could you give us a hand here?' She turned, presented her back to the blonde. Lifted her shirt a little at the rear.
Naomi's eyes were instantly drawn to the artwork now visible above the line of Emily's jeans. The beautifully detailed head and wings of a bird, on a background of flames. Reaching out, she touched it gently. Traced her fingertip along the flames. She felt the redhead shiver, withdrew her touch abruptly. Stood quickly. 'A phoenix?' She reached under the shirt, fastened the clasps. Tried to touch as little skin as possible.
'Thanks.' Emily tugged on the shirt, smoothed out the worst of the wrinkles. 'Yes, it's a phoenix.'
'It's gorgeous. You've got a very good artist.'
'Mmm hmm. Naomi?'
'Yeah?'
'Stop looking at my arse and get me some coffee.'
They chatted amiably in the kitchen while Naomi made more coffee, popped some bread in the toaster. Emily doctored her cup to her satisfaction, then practically inhaled the contents, pouring herself more before Naomi had finished with the toast.
The redhead became increasingly quiet over breakfast, a distant look clouding brown eyes. Naomi silently berated herself for being such a tit, ruining their comfortable rapport with her stupid hang ups. She was debating with herself over how best to broach the topic, begin apologising, when Emily abruptly looked up. Smiled tiredly. 'Listen, I'm going to go home.'
'Oh.' Fuck.
'I think... I'd better.'
'Ems...'
'No, I've been thinking. You were right, we don't have any control around each other. I know I don't. I can't look at you without wanting to have my hands all over you. My mouth...' She took a deep breath. Released it slowly. 'And it's worse, when we're here. Alone. So I can't do that any more, I can't... be here any more.' She stood. Walked around the sofa, picked up the helmet that had been hastily thrown aside last night. She sighed. 'I'll see you in class then.'
'Emily!'
The redhead paused, her hand on the door handle. Didn't turn around. 'What?'
Naomi swallowed, frantically trying to clear her throat. Struggled to get words past the tightness in her chest. 'Em.. Emily. Come out with me tonight. A date. I mean, a proper date. Dinner, a movie... whatever you want.' She rose from her chair, moved instinctively towards the smaller woman.
Relief surged through the blonde when she saw Emily take her hand away from the door knob. The redhead turned slowly, leaned back against the door.
'Look, I know you probably think I'm being a complete twat. Let me...'
'I don't think that at all. I... I'm just trying to respect your need for distance.'
'Distance? No, I don't want distance. I need a bit more time.' A pause. 'It's not even time, really.' Thoughtful. 'I don't want to... skip any steps. With Laura...' She stepped backwards suddenly, dropped into her chair. 'When I met Laura, Harry was one, still a baby. We couldn't... go through all the usual steps. Dating and such. So we went to baby friendly places, spent a lot of time at their house. It created... Oh, how should I put this? It was almost like it created a forced intimacy. We did the stereotypical lesbian thing, I moved in soon after. But really, our whole relationship was based around Harry. We never really had a chance to form any kind of intellectual connection, before I moved in. Not too long after we discovered we had very little in common, but by then it was too late.'
Naomi looked up when she heard a soft thud. Emily had placed her helmet on the end of the table, moved to stand behind a chair. Gripped the back of it.
'Before Laura... Well, let's just say I never had a healthy relationship before then. I was a bit emotionally stunted really.' She snorted. 'Fuck, who am I trying to kid? I'm clearly still emotionally stunted, otherwise I wouldn't be screwing you around like this.'
'Naoms...'
'No wait. There is a point here, I'm getting there.' A deep breath. 'My point is that I really like you Emily. Really fucking like you. You're intelligent and beautiful and funny and you don't put up with my shit. You're educated, knowledgeable, well read. I love that we can have the most in-depth analytical conversations, and then the next minute play like kids. And you're so fucking heart-stoppingly sexy. I've never met anyone like you before. You're so... fucking amazing. You have this joy in life, this unending enthusiasm. And you make me feel it too, make me feel young and idealistic. I want to spend every second of every day with you. And that's what scares me.'
'You don't need to be...'
'I'm scared because I don't want to screw this up, by jumping in the deep end. I want to take it slowly, build something that might last. And I'm scared that by insisting on taking things slowly that I'm going to drive you away. And now that I've opened my big fucking mouth I'm scared that I'm going to drive you away anyway because I'm talking long term and maybe you don't want that. So I want to be relaxed and completely okay with everything, like you seem to be. But I really... this is going to sound like a total fucking cliché, but I really care about you so much, already. So it's hard for me to just... be cool about it.'
Emily stepped around her chair and moved into Naomi's space, standing between the taller woman's legs. Naomi studied her face, ecstatic beyond measure that Emily wasn't obviously horrified by her declaration. There was a curiously tender expression in brown eyes, a slight smile on her lips. The blonde took both of her hands, laced their fingers together. 'Emily Fitch will you please accompany me on a date this evening? I'm talking the full on dressing up, fancy dinner, drinks, kiss goodnight on the doorstep proper date. Although...' Naomi smiled up at her, sheepish. 'You'll need to tell me where's a good place to go, because I've got no idea.'
Emily laughed, a choked sound. 'God.' Cleared her throat. 'Fuck, Naoms, after that speech you could take me to fucking McDonalds and I'd be happy.'
Naomi laughed, exultant. She threw her arms around Emily's waist, hugged her tight. Felt the redhead's arms wrap around her head, a kiss pressed into her hair. They remained that way for a long moment before Emily pulled away. 'Alright, I really am going now. How about I think about somewhere, and make a booking? You can come and pick me up around seven, yeah?'
A/N: Okay, I just wanted to say thanks to Vangoghgurrl and TheDarkSlayer, you know why. Sorry Vangoghgurrl that I haven't incorporated your ideas yet, but they're in my head. I will get to them. Well, most of them.
For the rest of you if you are on Twitter I am lazy_boo - say hi, give me ideas, tell me what you think, kick me up the ass and tell me to hurry up. Or just generally talk crap, if you're more inclined. I'm finding Twitter rather entertaining right now.
