AN: Thank you for being patient. I wish these chapters could get to you faster, but real life makes it impossible to get any free time to write. I'll keep plugging away though. I'm deeply in love with this story and want to see it through. Much love to the readers hanging with me.

And to Brina, my proof-reader, thanks for being a constant and true friend to me. No matter the distance.

*All mistakes are mine.

Chapter Eleven

I can't think or see straight anymore. Everything's a chaotic blur. Jasper doesn't ease up; saying all these wonderful things as my body reacts, exploding around him. I whimper, and he mutes my moans with his other hand. I'm not sure if he understands what he's doing to me, but it's causing a chain reaction of pleasure, confusion, and a painful, tender heart. I cling to him, letting the ride of his fingers finish me off, his thumb smoothing out that last, poignant tingle.

The tension rolls away with a released breath and my muscles turn into jelly. I'm drowsy, more so than before, and the lure of sleep calls to me, but I fight against it. There's no way I'm going to close my eyes and allow this boy to disappear. Not after his declaration that he and Edward want more. But what does that mean? The pessimistic part of my brain refuses to accept that a little girl like me, the Bella from Arizona, would be worth these two boys' time, so she puts another meaning behind the word.

More could be a lot of things, I say and mentally go through a list: more weed, more surfing time, more fish tacos, or just more sex from a willing and eager seventeen year old girl.

The last one makes a lot of sense to Bella. Mom warned me about boys like them. They will never be as emotionally involved. It's the way the Y-Chromosomes are wired.

But I'm not just some girl to them, I'm their Bean. That title given to me raises the ante and the word becomes something much, much more.

"Did you hear me?" Jasper's voice, all sultry and deep, spoken low for only my ears to hear. He's bared his soul to me, giving away too much of his thoughts, and now he's afraid of what I might say. That fear is subtle, but evident in the way he's holding me, so crushingly close to his chest. "Baby?"

Then he goes and calls me that—which fucking derails me, and I want to scream. There's only one thing that can clear my head now.

"Do you have anything on you?"

Jasper releases me and sits up. "That's a good idea."

I reach over and turn on my lamp. It illuminates a soft glow, nothing too bright to alert Charlie. Slipping on my shirt, I get up from the bed and take a pair of my sweats to wedge underneath the crack of the door. Jasper's back is to me, and he's packing the pipe with the last bit of his weed. The dreads are pulled into a ponytail. They're one of my favorite things about him. It shows his carefree, hippy attitude, but it also demonstrates his patience. Jasper takes one, lithe step, while everyone else is taking twenty. He swaggers, because rushing to the finish line doesn't suit him.

There's no doubt in my mind that I'm in love with him, but I have feelings for his best friend too. They've been growing for some time now. Only it's not as simple to fall in love with Edward like I did with Jasper.

Jasper allowed me to know him, like a wide open door, where I was able to walk in freely and without trying. Edward's harder to crack. He only gives enough room to squeeze through, like a half-opened window. I've been slowly getting by, one inch at a time, but soon I'll be wiggling my way into him.

What exactly will I find on the other side?

Probably everything I never knew I wanted.

"Here," Jasper says with a grunt as he blows out the smoke, turning around and handing me the pipe.

I take it like my sanity depends on it, inhaling as deep as my lungs will allow. It's strong, the flavor rich, and burns up my insides. It doesn't happen often, but when the weed's superb, top-shelf chronic, I hack and hack and hack.

He laughs and pats my back.

"Wow, what is that?" I manage to cough out a sentence.

"Something I've created from Edward's Afghan seeds." He takes a deeper hit this time, and I can see his face redden as he holds back the cough, but eventually it breaks its way through. He's bent over, hacking out his lungs, and making me smile.

I snatch the pipe from him and take a shallow hit. It's smoother this time, curls and rolls down, wrapping me up in its soothing, loving embrace. My face twitches and my fingers go numb. I'm happy and downright giddy, but also feeling bold and sexy. This may seem like avoidance of a difficult situation to some, but to me, I can really talk openly with Jasper now.

All that anxiety, and needless thinking, is wiped away. "I want to talk about what you said about wanting more."

Jasper tenses and gulps loudly, most likely expecting the worst. "I know how it sounds, and it's presumptuous of me to think you'd be interested…"

"But I am!" I rush to stop him before he changes his mind. "I knew that night we played Spin the Bottle."

The memory of my boys' lips pressed against mine cements my decision.

"And you're okay with being shared?" He tilts his head to the side and narrows his eyes.

Even high, he's skeptical.

"Only if that's how you guys see it." And it suddenly occurs to me that more may mean less than what I'd hoped. "I'm not a surf board, Jasp."

"That's not what I mean." He sighs with frustration, rethinking his approach, and reaches out for me. I allow him to run his thumb over my lips. It's feeding my addiction. Why would I deny myself what I want? "Bean, if you're with us, you'd be our girl and that's it."

I move away from his touch and replace it with the end of the pipe. The bowl's losing its cherry, and I'm eager to get another powerful hit in before I lose all my bravado. "And what would you and Edward be to me?"

He puts his hand on my thigh and leans forward, breathing in the smoke of my exhale as he talks. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want to just belong to you guys, like some possession, where you can pick me up and set me down anytime you feel like it." A terrible thought of the boys sharing more than just me makes my heart twinge in pain. No amount of weed can mask the tremble in my voice. "I need to know you guys are mine only and that there are no other girls."

Jasper takes a hold of my face before I can look away and avoid staring into his peaceful blue waves. "We don't want other girls, Bean. We want you."

"Really?" My pulse quickens, pushing the blood to the surface, and I feel the hot prickle of a blush forming.

"Yeah, really." He pulls me down deeper into his ocean. "This isn't something we just decided on, okay? Edward and I have talked about this to the point of extreme exhaustion. We both know the risks that are involved by being with you, but we don't care anymore. You're worth the hassle."

I laugh, because Jasper knows me well enough to know that sarcasm is the only language I understand. "But how will this work? Who decides on the days I spend with Edward and the days I spend with you?"

"I thought sharing custody of you is not what you wanted?" He smirks. "Remember, you're not a surf board."

"Then what am I?"

"You're an addition to a friendship," he drops a hand from my face and traces a single finger down, down, and further down, until I gasp, "except now, it's got more perks."

*()()*

The sun rises and sets the ocean on ablaze outside my window. There's moisture in the air from the heavy rainfall from last night, but the gentle breeze blowing from the east lessens the overwhelming humidity. California weather is magical in ways and makes waking up in the morning like a dream. But what makes this morning even more perfect is opening my eyes and seeing the boy I'm madly in love with sleeping beside me. Jasper didn't leave for Berkeley like he'd planned to. He said missing one class wouldn't hurt him (especially since he's so far ahead in everything) and stayed with me for the rest of the night.

I have a faint memory of him telling me about the future of his business with Edward and how they wanted me to be a part of it. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I do know it was his kisses that sent me off.

Then as I cuddle into the curve of his neck, my blissful moment is ruined by a gruff, semi-sober Charlie pounding on my door.

"Get up, Kiddo, you're gonna miss the bus!"

Jasper's eyes are wide open with sheer panic, and he nearly flies out of the bed in a poor attempt to escape. I put a steady hand on his chest and assure him everything's fine. My dad's parenting skills didn't extend past that door. It's amusing to me to see these guys, bad-ass drug dealers and Navy SEALs, afraid of half-baked Charlie.

He wasn't as scary as my boys presumed him to be.

I was more shocked by the fact Dad was up this early. He's usually in bed until noon or so, I'd imagined. I guess his bladder got the best of him, and he has to pass my room to get to the bathroom. I'm sure my education was an afterthought for him. Why else would he think I took the bus? He's always driven me there. But that's Charlie for you, a stoner with limiting brain cells first and a doting father second.

Glancing at the clock, I groan and roll back over into Jasper's chest. "I got to get ready for school."

I'm not a saint, not by far, and ditching classes wouldn't be out of the norm for me, but my ride is what gets me out of bed. Jasper climbs out of my window to give me some privacy, but mainly he doesn't want to press his luck and get caught by Charlie. I smile and nod, understanding his reasoning, even if I think he's being a tad paranoid. He doesn't leave though. I made him promise me.

It takes me twenty minutes to throw something on and pull my hair back. Make-up is the only thing I slow down and take my time with. The messy hair and clothes with a perfect face is a surfer SoCal thing. Well, actually, I think it's more of my own thing. Alice berates me every morning for it, but the look in Edward's eyes keeps it in constant rotation.

Slipping out the front door with little acknowledgement from Charlie, I'm greeted with a beautiful sight of Jasper sitting on my stairs. He's relaxed, leaning back and messing with his phone. When he sees me smiling at him from the doorway, he jumps to his feet and takes my backpack off my shoulder to carry it for me. He throws his free arm around my neck and pulls me towards the courtyard. I'm grasping onto his shirt and enjoying the closeness. How can things change so quickly after such a stalemate? I try to imagine things as they were before, a mere twenty-four hours earlier, and it doesn't seem real. Jasper holding me, like truly being with me, is the only reality I know now.

But things get a little more than real when we see Edward sitting outside his car.

He's got his arms folded over his chest, biceps bulging out of his short sleeve t-shirt, and shamelessly advertising his tattoos. There's a stern, pissed off look to his face. I don't know why, but that fury that burns inside him makes him even sexier to me. Any rational, self-preserving asshole would take one look at my boy and run for the hills. I'm not going anywhere. I know he's an unsteady and dangerous element, but I want to be there with my legs wrapped around him when he goes ka-boom.

"It's okay," Jasper says when he feels my body tense up, but he's reading me all wrong.

"I know," I say, and quicken our pace, eager to get whatever we have between us started.

Edward doesn't move as we approach him, always maintaining his cool, indifferent demeanor, while covering the intensity of his greens behind his dark shades. "You just couldn't wait, could you?"

"I didn't see the point," Jasper replies without apology. "She's cool with it."

Edward nods, leaning down to my left and tucking the hair behind my ear. I'm sandwiched between both boys now. "Morning, Bean."

He hasn't called me by that name since Rockpile. There was line he wouldn't cross, but now things have changed, and this was his way of acknowledging our status and claiming me. No longer would I have to choose between two boys. I had calm and chaos swirling around me. If I wasn't prepared for it, I might get dizzy.

"Morning," I say, and duck my head down to hide my smile.

Edward steps back and opens the car door. When I get in, there's a coffee waiting for me in the center console. I pick it up, and roll my eyes. Those boys aren't stupid, and they play me like a fiddle. And I'm gullible enough to fall for it.

Every day, Edward takes me to school.

Every day, he buys me a caramel latte.

Every day for the past two weeks, it's had Bella scribbled across the cup.

Every day, he does this for me without fail.

It's always been the same with him, but not today.

Today, I'm staring at the barista's barely legible handwriting and finding more meaning behind one word.

Bean.

*()()*

I'm surprised by how natural this feels. My boys show me the attention they share with each other. They make me feel wanted and important. Neither one of them are jealous towards the other and there's no competition. Jasper rests his chin on my seat and maintains closeness at all times. Edward's more inhibited, but goes with the flow when I grab his hand and place it on my leg. We laugh, teasing one another about their musical choices, and of course I win rights to the stereo. They bitch and moan when I switch it over to the current pop station.

I'm higher than I'd ever been and it's not induced by Jasper's weed or shoplifting an expensive handbag. These boys are the rhyme and reason to everything. They make my world rich and vivid. I see the brilliance in the color of the ocean and the flowers. The music even sounds better. I can't wait to eat. Food must be sinful now.

And sex?

I know how it is with Jasper: slow, beautiful, and deep.

But my other boy is still a mystery.

"Here we are," Edward says, and pulls up next to the curb. Alice's on the front lawn with a group of girls. She spots me in the car and waves. He groans and gives me a sideways glance. "Are you kidding me, Bean?"

"What?" I unbuckle my seat belt and follow his direct line of sight. "She's a friend."

"Yeah, but she's bad news," Jasper says delicately.

"She's a fucking statistic," Edward says less delicately. "And a damn drain on this country."

I smile, looking back and forth between my guys. "I'll be fine."

Opening the door, Jasper and Edward follow me out. Alice's walking towards the car, but stops dead in her tracks when she gets an unwelcoming glare. He's being the protective solider. I give him a swat on the arm and he redirects his gaze on me. Edward shrugs and leans against the door.

"So," I take my bag from Jasper's hands and smile up at him, "you're going back to school now?"

"Yeah, I've already missed two classes." He doesn't seem thrilled about leaving. This is a first. Before he had a sense of purpose and duty, but now I can see how it's nothing more but a necessary chore. "But I'll come down this weekend."

"We can always come up to you," I say, and take a peek over at Edward. He's still giving Alice the 'fuck off' stare. She's keeping her distance. "Maybe?"

Jasper laughs. "Yeah, that'll be rad. I really want to show you guys my greenhouse. Maybe we can smoke a little and hang out."

"Okay," I say, rising to my tiptoes as he grabs my face and kisses me. The noise around us fades. I can feel his heart in his fingertips and count each beat. They match my own. When he pulls away, the world comes back into focus, but seems less clear than before.

"I'll see you soon," Jasper says, giving me one last peck before getting into the car.

"Bye," I say, and it's crazy, but I already miss him.

Edward steps into me and rests his hands on my hips. "See you around three?"

"Sir, yes, sir, I'll be here."

It's the same old line we say to each other every day, but we never get out of the car and he never crosses the barrier of simple touching. I can't hide the way he affects me. It's clearly all over my face. I'm avoiding eye contact and nervously chewing on my bottom lip. Edward doesn't let this deter him, putting his fist underneath my chin and pushing my face up. There's a force behind everything he does. I'm being held tight and lifted into the air, his lips making a powerful impact on mine. The world not only falls away, it's ripped out from beneath my feet. I'm falling fast, twisted and consumed. I cling to his arms, digging my nails into his skin. He grunts, pulling away before I draw blood, leaving me panting and disoriented.

"Go learn some shit," he says with a wink and walks over to his side of the car.

I stand there stunned, rubbing the throb out of my lips, and thinking if Edward fucks as good as he kisses, then I'm in for a world of hurt.

It's not until the boys pull away and disappear down the street, does Alice have the nerve to approach me.

"You're fucking the Whitlock and Cullen boys?!"

"Excuse me?" I turn around to question her choice of plurals and notice the entire school is staring at me with the same shocked expressions. "Um…no, not really."

"Not really?" She mocks. "They both had their tongue down your throat, Bells."

Hell's Bells rings loudly in my ears. God, I hate that nickname. "Don't call me that," I say, and shove past her.

She stomps after me, flailing her arms, and making a lot of high-pitched noises. "Do you realize what this is going to do to your reputation? You can't skank it up with our tribe in public and expect people to ignore it."

"What's this tribe shit you keep talking about?" I wedge myself between the whispering crowds of teenagers as they call me surfer slut, or my favorite, gutter whore.

You would think in this day and age, the fifties mentality of slut-shaming would be a thing of the past, but small minds are inescapable. I'm not ashamed of being caught kissing my boys. If the school only knew what we did on Thanksgiving, they'd be spray painting whore and slut across my locker.

"Laguna is family, Bella," Alice says, her face scrunched up in disgust. "You can't just walk in and stake your claim on our men—especially not with the Whitlock and Cullen boys!"

"Staking my claim, huh?" I laugh, because it's silly and immature, and definitely not worth my energy. "Whatever, Alice."

"This shit is not a joke." She grabs me by the back of my hoodie and yanks me backwards.

The sudden attack throws me off, but I pull my sweater from her crazy grip and stare at her with wide eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm trying to be your friend," she says, but she's nothing more than a strung out, materialistic control freak. The rumors that will go around this school will most likely be started by her. Not that I'd ever trusted Alice, but further associating myself with her would lead to trouble. I can't allow her to create unnecessary drama in my life or put my boys at risk.

I see her for what she truly is. "Edward and Jasper were right about you."

She snaps her head up. "What did they say?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm done here." I ignore the bell as it rings and run straight for the door, not stopping for anything. This institution is suffocating. I can't breathe or relax here. Rose knew best. Everything you need to know from life was learned at home. That's what I planned to do. If anything, I'll just get my GED and go to college.

The high school bullshit and its power trips are too political for my liking.

I'm halfway down to the parking lot with my phone clenched tightly in my hand, ready to call my lifeline back to come and get me, when I look up and see my boys are already here.

Jasper props the door open on the passenger side and smiles. "On second thought, how would you like to take a trip to Berkeley right now?"