Rukia got through the day with ease, cutting it close a couple times but all in all made it through.

Rukia had a dreamless night as she used to way back in the good ole days. When she woke up, she felt totally refreshed and happier than the day before. Maybe now was the time to go and face what she feared most.

Rukia went outside after getting ready and she turned to run away to her duties. Suddenly a firm hand gripped her arm and pulled her back. Rukia jerked her arm away and faced who grabbed her.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Ichigo's arms crossed across his chest and Rukia slumped a bit in defeat.

"I'm sorry Kurosaki-san. I was just so busy and-"

"Kurosaki-san? When did you stop calling me Ichigo?" he cut in and he looked a bit hurt.

"I have realized that as your subordinate that I-"

"I don't give a rats ass about rank so quit it. Besides which where do you think your off to today? We have to go to the world of the living!" Ichigo reminded her.

"Are you going to let me finish one sentence?" Rukia snapped. "And I'm sorry I forgot about the mission. Things were just starting to seem normal again…" she trailed off and she crossed her arms as well.

"What do you mean normal? Would someone please explain to me what is going on?" Ichigo shouted, hands waving, as did so. Rukia's eyes widened and she raised an eyebrow. She hadn't even given a second thought on how her actions would have affected Ichigo before. Now she felt like a stupid bitch.

Rukia hadn't remembered that she was the only ticket back to Ichigo's memory. She also hadn't realized how much he depended on her to guide him right now. How could have she neglected that? If she truly loved him she would have thought of him first.

"Hello?" Ichigo waved a hand in front of her face and Rukia blinked several times before coming back from her thoughts.

"Ichigo…" she started. "There are some things to be left unsaid but… I'm sorry once more. I shouldn't have done what I did. I was avoiding you because… you remind me of some wonderful things… but also some very depressing things. I don't really like to express my feelings or pay any mind to them, but when I'm around you…. It just happens." She explained the best she could. She kept an expressionless look.

"How can my presence do that?" Ichigo wanted all the answers here and now. Rukia stepped away from him.

"Hopefully you will understand why soon. But don't we need to be going now?" Rukia changed the subject out of defense and Ichigo got frustrated again. She was distancing herself.

"Well I think it can wait and-" he didn't have time to finish for she began running off. Ichigo looked baffled for a second then followed. "Hey wait!"

Rukia kept him busy until they reached the gate of passing. She wasn't going to need anything so it was better to leave as soon as possible. After all they already had clearance.

"Hey! Wait you can't go through yet!" A guard protested as Rukia reached the gate. Ichigo was slower and finally caught up. "Oh. Its you . I apologize for my outburst." The guard recognized her and bowed. Since she was apart of a noble family, Rukia was well known.

"Its alright. Will you please call for the Hell butterflies now? We wish to reach the world of the living as soon as possible." Rukia answered with manners and kindness.

"Of course. May I ask why you are rushing?" the guard sent for the butterflies as they chatted.

"I'm sorry sir but I am out of rank to speak of it. It is a very classified mission." Rukia apologized.

"Are you quite done? I want to leave." Ichigo cut in impatiently. The guard was about to make a rude remark back when he saw Ichigo's lieutenant badge.

"Oh yes. Sorry lieutenant just one more moment." The butterflies fluttered down. Ichigo's circled around his head and got in his face. Ichigo whacked at it and Rukia elbowed him in the side.

"Ow!" Ichigo grunted, rubbing his side. "What was that for?"

"Don't disrespect a hell butterfly. And never try to harm one." Rukia answered, irritated. Ichigo's eyebrow twitched as she ran through the gate. Ichigo followed, vein pulsing.

Rukia ran ahead for a reason. She wanted to be away from Ichigo, but she didn't want it to be obvious. She didn't want to answer his main question. And it all seemed to come down to that.

What do I mean to him now? Am I just this mysterious and cruel girl who can't even spare a moment of her life to help him? Another rush of sorrow and worry churned in her stomach.

"Hey Rukia…" Ichigo snapped her back to the present again. He had come up to right beside her and she hadn't even noticed.

"What is it Ichigo?" she responded, trying not to sound like he was a bother.

"Why did you want to stay in the Soul Society?" Rukia blinked. What was he talking about?

"What do you mean?" She looked at him when she talked.

"I remember one time… you were in a purple kimono, and it was a sunset. You told me you wanted to stay in the Soul Society… why?" Rukia remembered now. It was after he had saved her. She had felt torn. She really did want to go back with Ichigo, but she couldn't leave.

"The Soul Society was my home. It had always been in my life, even when I didn't know it. I was destined to be there. And I couldn't live in your closet forever." She gave a half hearted laugh to try and lighten the mood, but nothing happy came from Ichigo.

"I wasn't really glad." Ichigo admitted.

"Hm?" Rukia gave him a questioning look.

"I told you, I was glad you decided to stay. I wasn't really." Ichigo sighed. Rukia had a small pang of sadness go through her heart. She remembered feeling a bit disappointed when he had told her that.

"I wasn't really happy with my choice either." Rukia sounded tired and it was just above a whisper.

"What?" Rukia didn't repeat herself as they entered the world of the living. Rukia recognized Karakura town and her spirits rose. It had been so long since she had been here.

Ichigo looked around and he groaned. He rubbed his temples. "Is it helping with your memories?"

"Or trying to kill me." He groaned again. Rukia couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Don't be over dramatic. It could be worse you know." Rukia pointed out.

"How so? I have no idea who I am and whenver I discover something my head feels like a bullet is stuck in it." Ichigo whined.

"Easy. You could have hollows possess you as soon as you got a vague idea of any of that which causes a lot more pain. And at least every one can remember you." Rukia was taking stuff from her own experience from when everyone had forgotten about her even hersellf.

"Wait… didn't that happen to you?" Ichigo got another few flashes from him fighting Dark Rukia.

"Yeah. Not a fun time. But I guess that means I owe you still since you brought back my memories then. You wouldn't let anyone forget me that you could help." Rukia sighed out the bitter happiness of it all and looked back at him.

"Well lets get moving. No time right now to have our heads stuck in the past. There will be plenty of time for that later tonight." She promised. Ichigo nodded.

"Right." They started towards Urahara's shop.

To Be Continued…