Chapter 11

The arrival of Renee from her grocery shopping prompted a brief and quiet conversation about the necessity for discretion regarding myself and the family. She assured me that she would remain silent and questioned when I might return.

"I feel like you're going to disappear again," she whispered.

"Would you like me to come back before you go to sleep?" I asked, hoping that she would want to see me again.

She nodded, and I disappeared into the forest, watching and listening as she carried out her routine of homework, dinner, and getting ready for bed. When the rain intensified, I entered the attic through the window under the eaves.

I listened to the sounds and thoughts of the family below me and looked through some of my journals, wondering how much I should share with Bella.

How much can she handle at once?

When the sun set and the moon was rising behind the clouds, I made my way outside to the tree that served as the staircase to my Juliet's window.

I heard Charlie and Renee retire to their room for the night. Bella was putting her school materials into her backpack for the next day.

Before she could turn around, I was perched in her window. Instead of calling to her as I'd done earlier and risk her alerting her parents I waited until she saw me there.

Even so, she still jumped a little when she turned to go to her bed.

"Edward!" she whispered, her hand going to her heart. When her heart rate calmed, she smiled. "I'm going to have to get used to that, aren't I?"

I grinned guiltily at her and shrugged.

She climbed into her bed and, watching me, reclined on her pillows, her beautiful mahogany hair spread across the pillows.

I took my customary place on the floor beside her bed, my arm propped on the quilt beside her.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," I responded, chuckling.

We looked into each other's eyes for a long time. Without knowing what she was thinking, I could only hum her lullaby for a while. After the sun set, she started asking questions.

She asked mostly about mundane things, filling in gaps in her memories with my answers. I enjoyed hearing about the time that we had spent together from her perspective and asked many questions of my own. I asked about her life during our time apart and about her treasure box that held the items that reminded her of me.

For the time being, neither of us was ready to delve too deeply, not wanting to rush past the newness of whatever we were now.

Sitting there by her side, sharing whispers late into the night, I felt my world begin to shift. The feelings associated with the shift were palpable but I couldn't conceive of what the ramifications might be.

Her hand lay on the bed near mine, and we touched fingertip to fingertip. It was sweet and innocent, yet powerful and intense all at the same time.

The moon rose higher in the sky, and she yawned, as her eyelids drooped.

"Sleep now, Bella. You're tired and need your rest," I whispered, as her eyes fluttered.

She fought against her tiredness and asked, "You'll stay, won't you? I don't want you to leave."

"I promise to be here when you wake," I answered.

"Aren't you tired?" she said, stifling another yawn.

"No, I don't sleep. Rest, we can talk again tomorrow."

Her long dark lashes rested against her cheeks. "Edward?" she asked, nearly asleep.

I smiled at the ever present stubbornness. "Yes, Bella?"

"What's that?" Her eyes opened halfway again, and she looked at our touching fingers. "That feeling, when you touch me?"

Her eyes closed again, and I heard the unmistakable sound of her even-breathing, indicating that she was asleep. She had lost the battle without her answer.

I was glad, because I had no answer to give.

After she woke, we made plans for Bella to come to my house after school for a reunion of sorts. She said she wanted a more private venue than the school cafeteria and wanted to see Carlisle and Esme as well. I whole-heartedly agreed and planned to sit in the library with her during lunch instead.

I excused myself to allow her to go about her morning routine and give her time to make up a story for Renee for her after school activities.

As I neared the house, I heard Carlisle in his study and went there to consult with him regarding the question she'd asked me.

I had spent the entire night considering her question and its implications.

My abilities afforded me the opportunity to know, on an intellectual level, about the energy that flowed between mated couples. I knew that the bond was a physical manifestation of the emotional tie and was felt each time the mated couple touched. Carlisle's theory regarding its purpose was to strengthen the bond and counteract the typical hostility and territorial nature of vampires with the usual diet of human blood.

Our vegetarian diet counteracted the hostile effect in us, allowing us to love more freely and, in Carlisle's opinion, more deeply than others of our kind. The feeling - described by my family as "tingling," "electric," an "energy flow" or "an exchange of warmth,"- was not as necessary for us, but was an intensely pleasant experience that reminded the couples of the certainty of their bond.

My first personal experience with it happened the very first time I touched Bella, but it was light and airy, nothing like what I'd expected in light of my family's descriptions. Over the years, the feeling gradually, almost too gradually for me to notice, changed from that light and airy, almost breathy, exchange to what I felt when her fingertips touched mine the night before.

Last night, our touch created a feeling of warm honey flowing from my body into hers and back again.

I hadn't been surprised by it. What did shock me, however, was that she felt it too. As a human, I was sure that her body wouldn't register the exchange of energy since humans' sense of touch is far less sensitive than ours. This puzzle was why I needed to speak with Carlisle.

"You say she feels it too? Are you sure?" he asked. His thoughts delighted in this new discovery.

"I believe so. She asked what that feeling was when she touched me." My thumb stroked back and forth over my fingertips where they had touched hers all night, so loath was I to relinquish the contact she had initiated with me.

"What did you tell her?" he asked.

"Nothing. She fell asleep."

I looked down at my hand, remembering the way her fingers sought mine if I broke contact with her. The first time it happened was an accident as she adjusted her position in her sleep. Though she had moved, her hand went right back to the place it had been, eagerly seeking the contact.

Several times after that I experimented by moving away slightly. Each time her fingers followed mine until our skin met again. As if our hands had homing beacons, she found me every time.

Watching my fingers rub back and forth I said, "She seeks the contact even in her sleep."

When his thoughts were silent I glanced up at his face. His eyebrows were raised in surprise. I held my hand up for him to see. "My fingers," I explained, brushing the tips with my thumb.

How fascinating! he thought. "I wish that Esme or Emmett had been conscious and could remember the moments before their change," Carlisle mused.

"You call me?" Emmett asked, lopping into the room and flopping himself in the chair beside me. Our hearing and speed made it all too easy for intrusions into conversations, but, in this case, I was hoping he could shed some light for me.

"When Rose found you after the bear attacked you . . .do you remember anything? Did you, by chance, remember feeling the mating bond as she carried you?" Carlisle asked.

"I remember thinking how hot she was." He punched my arm with a wide grin. My chair slid a few feet across the floor.

When I showed no hint of amusement at his antics, he cleared his throat unnecessarily and turned a more serious face back to Carlisle. "No, I don't remember feeling it until my change was complete. Even while I was undergoing the change, when she held my hand, I didn't feel it. Of course, the fire was just a little distracting," he added sarcastically. "Why do you ask?"

"Bella asked me last night what the feeling was when she touched my hand," I told him, absently rubbing my fingers again. It was as if I could still feel her and, at the same time, craved her touch once again.

"What do you think it means that she can feel it, Carlisle?" I wanted answers.

"I think," he said, "that nothing about Bella is like anything we've ever seen before. We already know your gift doesn't work on her. We know that Alice saw her future from the moment she was conceived and no amount of mind-changing seems to alter it.

"We also know that you feel the bond-"

"Intensely," I interrupted.

"Alright, 'intensely;' arguably more intensely than the rest of us, even. The fact that she feels it – and I know you're not going to want to hear this – but that fact is further proof to me that Bella is meant to be your mate and one of us."

I started to protest, but he held up his hand. "I will, of course, go along with whatever decision you and Bella make, but I'm convinced that her future is already written.

"Therefore, I think the best course of action would be for you to talk to her about it. She's going to want answers. I think you should give them to her."

"I told her I would answer whatever I could, but I don't want to overwhelm her with too much information at one time."

Emmett piped up, "She didn't freak out too badly when she saw you or found out that we were back, right?" I nodded in response, and he continued his thought, "I think she's stronger than you give her credit for."

I turned to him and asked, "So, you think I should just announce in the middle of school that we're vampires and I'm destined to be her husband and mate.

"And, oh yeah, I'm going to have to bite you, and you'll burn with the fires of hell for three days, because I think you're meant to be an undead creature of the night, a vampire, like me. By the way, when can I meet your dad?" I couldn't keep the sarcasm from my voice even as much as I appreciated what he was trying to say.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I stopped him in the same way Carlisle had stopped me earlier. "I do understand what you're saying Emmett, but let's just start with her re-meeting the family."

"Will do, little buddy." He leapt lithely from his chair and practically skipped from the room in search of his wife thinking about how he was going to broach the topic of meeting Bella.

Getting Rose to agree was going to take some finesse before this afternoon. And no one 'finessed' her better than Emmett – though he usually got a smack or two to the head for his trouble.

I smiled. Emmett was a good brother.