Brand New Breeze
by FanficAllergy & RoseFyre

oOo

Chapter Three: At The Beginning

oOo

Last Time in Brand New Breeze:

"So...does that mean you're not mad anymore?"

I pause and take a deep breath. "It depends on what your brother and Peeta have to say."

"I hope they're not idiots."

"I hope so too."

oOo

Early the following afternoon, Rory and I trudge up the path leading to the cave. No one is there when we arrive so we drop our packs by the entrance and head for the room we've designated as the bedroom. We're both tired and because we've been sleeping out in the open, haven't slept well in over a week. A nap is definitely required.

I'm not sure how long we were asleep because what seems like a few minutes later my sister lets out a loud cry of, "They're back! Rory and Katniss are back!"

"How do you know?" I hear my mother ask. Her voice sounds far away, like she's not in the cave.

"Their packs are here, so they've gotta be back!"

"Have you seen them?"

"Well, no!"

"Why don't you go look?"

"Okay!" my sister calls down. Then she yells, "Katniss! Rory! Are you here?"

"Yes, we're here, you yowling cat!" Rory shouts back before I can answer. "We were trying to get some sleep!"

"But it's not even suppertime! Get up lazy bones and show me what you've brought back!"

"I don' wanna! And since you called me a name, I ain't gonna give you what I brought back for ya!"

"But Rory!"

"No buts! You called me a name. Maybe if you were nicer to me…"

My sister walks into the room. "Pretty please, Rory? Can I have my present?"

"After I finish my nap," Rory answers, rolling over to face the wall.

Prim opens her mouth to protest then shuts it with an audible click and leaves the room.

I smile. Peeta's right, they do sound like an old married couple. It's cute. I kick the covers off and move out to the main room.

When I enter the room I gape at what I see. I hadn't noticed before, but there have been some major changes in the time Rory and I have been gone. There's an actually dug-out and brick-lined fireplace in the center of the main room. Running along the length of the back wall I can see a foot-high pile of wood. There's a partially-completed wall of wicker and wood shelves between the entrances to the cooking room and the water room. There's a few mats around the fireplace and there's a pile of reeds alongside.

My sister's sitting by the fire, working on a basket, a pile of fresh cattails next to her. She looks up. "Hey Katniss! I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay," I say with a yawn. "So what are you working on?"

"I'm trying to make a basket that'll keep animals out."

"Why?"

"Peeta says they sometimes have problems at the bakery with mice and rats getting into their flour. I told him that Buttercup would take care of that for us, but he said it was better if they didn't get in at all. And then he pointed out that if we try to store fish, Buttercup himself might get in. He's caught a bunch of trout with the nets I made you for your birthday and Buttercup's been hanging around by the smoker very interestedly. So even if I can't make something rodent-proof, I think I can make something Buttercup-proof."

I survey the room again. "You guys got a lot done while Rory and I were gone."

"Well, Peeta and Gale started working together." She pauses, reconsidering her words. "After the first couple days, anyway. They were really able to take care of a lot of chores. Like the wood."

"I'm surprised they were able to get that much." And I am. They're a good team but after the argument on my birthday, I would have guessed that they'd never willingly work together without coming to blows.

Prim misunderstands my words and instead answers a different question, "They grabbed a lot of the downed trees in the area, you know there's a lot of them along the edge of the river and they're just in the way. So, they'd haul them up and together they'd work on sawing and chopping them into chunks. You should see the kitchen."

I go look and I'm even more surprised. There's another taller pile of wood along one of the walls and next to the cast iron stove that Rory and I found, there's what looks to be a brick oven.

"How did they manage that?"

"Apparently you yelling at them seemed to wake them up a little and they started working together. Well… not immediately. I'm pretty sure they had a fight that first day. Mom had to patch up Peeta's knuckles and Gale was sporting a split lip for a while. But when I asked them what was wrong, they just said they 'talked things out.' I'm not sure how much talking they really did, but after that, they seemed to be friends or something."

I'm not happy about the fight, but if it knocked some sense into them I'll let it slide. "So they've stopped being idiots?"

"It's kinda hard to tell," Prim says with a shrug. "But they're at least working together, so that's something, right?"

I'm not as optimistic as my sister. I'll believe that they've worked things out when I see it, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

"So where's everyone else?" I ask.

"Mom's working on the garden. She wants to try to keep at least some of the weeds away from the seeds she's planted."

"And the boys?"

"Peeta and Gale went out this morning to chop down a few pine trees. They were talking about trying to build a bed."

"How?" That sounds like a pretty major project and while we have to make and repair most of our furniture in the Seam, we still have planks and boards from the sawmills in Seven.

Prim shrugs again. "I don't know. But they seemed to have some sort of idea."

I sit down next to the fire in the main room. "Is there anything to eat?"

"Like I said before, Peeta's been doing really well with the nets I made you so there's a lot of fish. We're starting to get salmon, and Mom says that salmon like to run. I'm not really sure what that means, since fish swim, but we're getting a bunch of them and we're getting more and more of them every day. I made a few more nets, but Mom wants me to try to make a really big one for the river. I'm not sure how good it's gonna be. But I can try."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Little Duck."

"Thanks, Katniss. It's nice to have you home again."

I give her a hug. "It's nice to be home."

oOo

An hour or so later, Gale and Peeta come back, a large deer slung between them on a pole. Both boys are shirtless and I can see the faint sheen of sweat shining on their chests. I turn away to hide the blush I feel rising on my cheeks.

"Wow!" Prim says. "That's a big deer!"

"There's another one just as big back where we left the wood," Gale says. "Me and Peet decided to get one back as fast as possible and then go back for the other." He pauses, noticing me for the first time. "Hey, Katniss."

"Hey," I say, shoving my hands into my pockets.

Peeta looks around from behind the deer. "Hey."

Prim stares at both of the boys. "Katniss finally gets back and all you can think to say is 'hey'?"

Rory appears from the bedroom. "Not everybody needs to run their mouths off like you, Prim."

"Please no fighting," Gale says. "I think Katniss has had enough of that lately."

He's not wrong.

Gale looks at Rory. "You think you and Katniss can finish dressing the deer?"

"Why are you asking me?" Rory looks confused.

"I'm not sure if Katniss is willing to talk to me right now." I can tell he's itching to run his fingers through his hair but can't because of the load he's carrying.

"Yeah, Rory and I can take care of it," I say. "You go get the other one before a scavenger runs off with it."

The boys set the large animal down on the ledge outside of the cave. "You gonna be here when we get back?" Gale asks when they've finished.

I shift uncomfortably under Gale and Peeta's combined gazes. "Yeah."

"Good," Peeta says. "Gale and I need to talk to you."

I feel my stomach drop. I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to them. To have this talk with them.

"Katniss? Are you okay?" Prim asks.

"Yeah. Fine." I'm not. But I'm not telling Prim that. I'm nervous about what this talk is going to entail and all I want to do is run away.

My sister looks unconvinced. "Do you want any help?"

"No," I say shaking my head. "Rory and I have this. Why don't you try making that net Mom wanted you to?"

"If you're sure…"

"I am, Little Duck."

But it's a lie. I'm not sure about anything at all.

oOo

When Gale and Peeta get back with the second deer, it's coming on evening. I'm able to avoid talking with them until after dinner because my mother returns with a huge bag full of blackberries and mulberries that we need to set out to dry.

Her eyes light on the two deer. "I thought you boys were planning on trying to get wood for my bed."

"Sorry about that, Violet," Peeta apologizes. "Gale here couldn't seem to stop himself from shooting two deer that just came popping through while we were stripping the branches from the trees."

"So I guess tomorrow is smoking and drying?" she asks, clearly unhappy.

"Well, maybe with Rory and Katniss here, they can take care of that, so we can finish hauling the wood and other materials back to try to make your bed."

My mother looks over at me expectantly. "The boys promised me that I get the first bed. I'm old and sleeping on the ground is not something I plan on doing for much longer."

"And Mom says I get to share!" Prim chimes in.

"Aren't you lucky?" I ask, deadpan. I'm a little upset that after everything that happened the day after my birthday the boys aren't making a bed for me first. Then I quash the feeling, Prim needs the bed more than I do. But the sudden rush of jealousy is new for me. I'm not sure what to do about it.

Gale seems to understand what I'm feeling because he says, "Don't worry, we've got plans to make beds for everyone. She'll probably get the worst one, since we're not really sure what we're doing."

"Gale's got some idea," Peeta says. "He had to repair his mom's bed back in Twelve and saw how it was put together and his dad showed him how to make a few other kinds of simple furniture, stools and tables and the like, so we hope it won't be a total disaster. If nothing else, we can always burn the thing."

I shrug. That's true. We can always burn wood.

"I asked the boys to strip the wood here in the cave and try to save the inner bark. It's not terribly tasty, but the inner bark's very nutritious and it's a good last line of survival food."

I nod my head. I'm pleased that my mother understands that we need to try to stockpile as much food as possible. Then I escape to the relative safety of the kitchen to get supper. I've fried up the liver of the first deer with a few greens that Prim went out and found. It's a simple meal but it should be filling. We sit down around the fire of the main room. Over dinner, Rory and I talk about everything we did and all the stuff we found, including the salt.

Rory pulls out the glass cat and, with great ceremony, places it in front of Prim. "Primrose Everdeen, I found this little trinket and thought, with some fondness, of you and your feline companion, the peerless Lord Buttercup. Please accept this most heartfelt gift from me to you and if you can, think of me with affection when you do, I beg of you."

"Laying it on a little thick are we?" Gale asks, his voice full of amusement.

"Someone's been watching too many Capitol dramas," Peeta adds, a smile on his lips.

"I just thought she'd like it!" Rory exclaims, lapsing back into his normal speech.

"I do! Ignore those meanies. Thank you very much. I love it." She cradles it next to her.

Rory beams.

I take time eating, drawing it out. I'm not ready for this. But I can't put it off forever. I finish my last bite and Peeta looks over at me.

"You ready, Katniss?"

I nod my head, uncertain of my voice.

"Go on," my mother says, a knowing look on her face. "We'll take care of everything here."

"Thanks," Gale says. "We'll be outside."

They lead me to the top of the hill, far enough away from the smoke hole that our voices won't carry. Gale finds a large maple tree and Peeta motions for me to sit.

"I'd rather stand." I cross my arms.

Peeta looks at me pleadingly. "Please? We don't want you - I'm not - we're afraid that-"

Gale steps in. "What he's trying to say is that we don't want you to run off like you did earlier. We know you get uncomfortable talking about personal shit, Catnip."

"Sorry," Peeta says.

I glare at them but I sit down. "Fine. Happy now?"

Peeta sighs. "That depends on you."

"So what'd you want to talk about?" I just want to get this done so I can go hide under a rock until the world makes sense.

"We owe you an apology, Katniss," Peeta says.

"Yeah. What he said."

"Gale." Peeta looks over at the other boy with a mixture of exasperation and resignation.

"Fine," Gale grumbles, giving in to Peeta's puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry, Catnip." He makes a motion between him and Peeta. "We're sorry. I know we fucked up. We had no right - I had no right - to force you to do anything you didn't want to do. Peeta kind of maybe explained just how wrong I've been. About a lot of things. And he's got a way of getting his point across." Gale rubs his jaw.

Peeta shrugs. "What can I say? I've got a way with words sometimes."

"And fists. Don't forget those." It's meant to be teasing.

"No," Peeta says quietly, his eyes growing distant. "If there's one thing I've learned, if words don't work, fists have a way of getting someone's attention."

I wince, thinking of the time when Peeta gave me the bread and the welt across his cheek.

Gale must remember how Peeta's mother got her point across because he says, "I'm sorry. That was out of line."

Peeta nods, accepting the apology.

I'm a little shocked at just how freely Gale offered it and how easily Peeta accepted it. It's a big change.

"Is that all?" I start to stand back up.

"No," Peeta says, shaking his head and motioning for me to sit back down. "We want you to know that we both are still in love with you. Have been in love with you. And this isn't going to change that. In my case, I'm not sure anything could change that. Heck, I can't even hate you for kidnapping me. And what's even more screwed up is that part of me's grateful." He pauses, rubbing the back of his neck. "I wish I'd been asked, but I can understand why you didn't. You didn't know me. You didn't trust me. And you had no reason to trust me. I hope that's changed now."

I nod my head.

He smiles. "Good. That's something, at least. But I guess what I'm trying to say, what we're trying to say, is that we're not going to fight over you. That's not fair. You have the right to choose who you want to love, and if that's me, great. If that's Gale, that's great too. And if it's neither of us, if for some reason you find yourself really wanting Rory-"

"I'm not sure what you'd ever see in him," Gale interrupts. "But, you know, if you can pry him away from your sister, we're okay with that too."

"And if I pick nobody?" The question is pointed.

"Then that's your choice, that's your call," Gale says.

"And we'll respect that," Peeta finishes.

"Do I have to give you my decision now?" I'm definitely not ready to do that. Not yet.

Peeta waves his hands in front of him. "No, no, no! Whenever you're ready. Whenever you've made it."

"And until then?" I ask.

"We'd both like to court you," Peeta finishes.

"And Rory?"

"Fuck Rory." Gale pauses, realizing what he's said. "Not literally."

We laugh. The tension lightens.

"So, if you see me kissing Peeta, you're not going to come in, fists blazing?"

Gale nods his head. "I promise."

"And you, Peeta, you're going to stop with all the mind games?"

"I'll do my best."

"Do better than that," I tell him sternly. "Don't think I haven't noticed you manipulating Gale into being angry, making it so you come off looking like the good guy."

Peeta blushes. "I didn't realize I was doing that. It's a defense mechanism. My mother…" he trails off.

"You don't need to talk about your mother, Peet," Gale says.

I start a little at the nickname. Gale only uses those for people he actually cares about. Most of the time he prefers to go by last names or full names.

"So what happened while I was gone?"

Gale crouches down. "Well...I hate to say it, but you were right when you said I really didn't have much of a chance of beating Peeta. He's got a mean right hook and a whole arsenal full of dirty tricks."

"I have two older brothers." Peeta shrugs. "I have a lifetime of practice. You're the eldest by a lot."

"And...I don't think that's it. You're good. Really good." Gale looks at me. "And I kind of realized that if Peeta had wanted to, he could have escaped at any time even with you and me, Catnip, being armed."

Peeta shakes his head. "It wouldn't have been much use. Not like I would have gotten very far. Katniss would fell me in an instant with her bow. And I have no clue how to survive out here in the wild or even to find Twelve again. Better to stick with you and try not to piss you off."

"You kind of failed at that," I point out.

"I didn't say it was a good plan. Besides, it's a little hard to think coherently when the woman of your dreams' body is pressed up against you every night."

Gale makes a face, like he's struggling to contain himself.

I look at Peeta. "You're doing it again," I say, motioning to Gale.

"Sorry." And he does sound genuinely sorry.

Gale looks over at me gratefully. "We missed you, Catnip, while you were gone. Both of us."

"We also realized we were destroying our chances with this continual competition."

"You really were," I state flatly.

Gale sighs. "We know."

"We're willing to do whatever you want us to do. And whatever that means, we'll do it."

I blink. They can't be implying what I think they're implying.

Gale adds, "Just don't shut us out. We're sorry. You scared us…"

Peeta picks up where Gale leaves off. "You really scared us, Katniss. We didn't know if you were hurt, or dead, or just avoiding us. I'm kind of glad it turned out to be the latter. It's just… we don't want you to have to avoid us. We need to be able to live together. All of us. And if that means having to think outside the box, Gale and I are willing to think outside the box."

It's more explicit this time, but I still can't wrap my head around the implications. It's what I want, but somehow I still can't believe what I'm hearing. "Can I have some time to think about how I feel about this?"

Gale stands up. "Take as much time as you need. We'll be here."

oOo

The next day, rather than going out, I spend the day back at the cave, resting and replenishing my arrow supply. Rory tries to talk his way into going hunting, but I nix it. We need to spend the time preserving what we have before we get more. Instead, my mother has him go off and gather reeds and cattails and willow switches for Prim to use for baskets. He grumbles a bit but does it anyway.

The boys leave the cave early to get the wood to build my mother's bed. Then, when they get back, they very studiously leave me be so I can think.

And I do.

I think really hard about what I want. Do I want either of them? Do I want neither? Do I want both? I keep coming back to that third option and I keep putting it out of my mind. That isn't an option, so I shouldn't even consider it.

I think about each boy. I've known Gale longer. He's a good hunting partner, a good friend, and he knows me. Do I want him to be more than that? Good hunting partners are hard to find. I'm not sure I'm willing to risk losing that. But I'm afraid I'm going to lose it anyways. He wants this so badly that I'm afraid if I tell him no, he's going to withdraw from me and I'll lose what we've had. I'll lose the person who knows me the best in this world.

Which brings me to Peeta. How do I feel about him? I feel comfortable with him. He's easy to talk to and he feels safe. I missed sleeping with him while Rory and I were gone and Rory was not a good substitute. Peeta gave me my space last night and I'm not terribly sure I wanted him to, but sleeping with him for warmth and comfort isn't the same as having a relationship.

I keep thinking in circles, weighing the pros and cons. And they all come to one inexorable conclusion. I need more information. And the only way I'm going to get more information is to try dating both of them. I can't know which one I want, if I want either of them, unless I have all the facts. And I don't.

I wait until the boys come out of the bedroom covered in pine needles. The look of hopeful joy on each of their faces fills me with the odd combination of delight and dread. I'm not sure which one I feel more.

There's too much work to do to even consider stepping out with either of them today. But Gale and I make plans to go hunting together tomorrow morning, which in and of itself is not an unusual occurrence, but this feels more formal somehow.

I watch Peeta carefully while Gale and I make the plans. He very deliberately doesn't react. Instead, once we've finished, he asks if I'd be interested in joining him in the kitchen later tomorrow afternoon. He thinks he's figured out a way to make some kind of bread.

"I hope you two succeed," Gale says. "I don't know about you, but I never thought I'd miss tesserae bread." He's very obviously avoiding the subject of my date with Peeta.

"Or stale bread," Peeta adds with a laugh.

I laugh with them. It's true. I hadn't realized just how much I'd miss the warm yeasty scent of fresh-baked bread until now.

"Thanks for giving us this chance, Katniss."

"Yeah, Catnip. Thanks."

I look back and forth between the two of them. "I just hope I don't regret it."

oOo

I'm really glad I spent the previous day making arrows because Gale and I are very successful. Almost from the moment we step out of the cave, the game seems to just fly or walk into our path. In less than an hour and a half, we have three birds, a goat, and a pig. We decide to take our earnings and head back.

"That really wasn't much of a date," I say.

Gale shrugs. "Productive though."

"Yeah. But… I already know you're a good hunter. I don't know if you're going to be a good boyfriend."

"So… what are you looking for in a boyfriend?" he asks slowly, like he's afraid he's going to scare me away just by bringing the subject up. It's a little scary how well he knows me.

I stifle my urge to change the subject and answer, "Is it okay if I say I don't know? I mean, I know what I don't want."

"And what don't you want?"

"I don't want anyone too clingy. I need my space. I need to do me things and have me time. Someone who can cook would be nice. I just don't want to have to put food on the table and cook it too. Someone who can help provide for the family. But who isn't going to forbid me from hunting or gathering or going out on my own. I don't want anyone too fussy. I don't want anyone too good-looking. But I don't want them to be butt ugly either."

Gale laughs. "I hope I'm not that ugly."

"You know you're not." I frown at him. He's one of the most attractive boys in school. Half of my year has a crush on him and I've heard the rumors about the sheer number of girls that he's taken to the slag heap.

He seems to know I'm upset with him because he asks, "Am I too good-looking?" in an earnest tone of voice.

I reach up and tug at his beard. "Not with all this scruff. You're nothing like the boy all the girls back in Twelve used to sigh over."

"Not you."

"Well, I know you."

"And I think that might be the problem. Peeta thinks you don't view me romantically because you're too familiar with me. All the shine's worn off, so to speak."

"So you're trying to put the shine back on? I'm not sure the beard helps."

"If you don't like the beard, I can shave it off." He says it quickly, like he's eager to do something to try to win me over.

I think about it. Do I like the beard? During our previous kiss, he had stubble. Now it's a full-grown beard, a little straggly and curly, and his hair could really use a trim. But is that really a problem? Am I as shallow as a Capitol woman? I come to a decision.

"Kiss me."

"What?" Gale exclaims.

"You heard me. Kiss me."

A smile dances across his lips. "If you insist."

He bends down and presses his lips to mine. The beard feels weird. Part of the mustache comes down and curls over his top lip and it feels scratchy against mine. I don't like it. I can feel the hairs of his beard under his lower lip. Those aren't as bad. They're smoother and they don't prick at my skin. They're soft. I feel a swelling of desire sweep over me. It scares me a little. I take a step back.

"So what's the verdict?" he asks.

"I'm not sure I like the mustache coming down over your lip. The rest of it's okay," I tell him honestly.

"So you'd be willing to kiss me again?"

"You could talk me into it."

He smiles. "Anytime you want. You just have to ask."

"I'll keep it in mind."

oOo

I stare down at the odd assortment of ingredients in front of me, trying to make sense of them.

"So. Bread."

"Bread!"

"How exactly are you planning on making bread?" My eyes flit over the bowls of powders and other things. Other than something that I think might be flour, none of it looks all that familiar.

"Well you know that can that you brought with you from your house? The one that your mom said you pulled out dented from under the sink?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, apparently it's baking soda."

"Baking soda?" I was hoping it would be something useful. What are we going to do with that much baking soda?

Peeta, ironically, echoes the thoughts in my head. "I don't know what you were planning on doing with that much baking soda, but it's a good thing we've got it. We can make bread with it."

"You can?"

"I mean, it's not as good as yeast-based bread, but you mix it with some salt and a few other things, and it acts as decent leavening."

"I'm glad it's useful?" I'm still not entirely convinced.

"Oh, it is."

"So… flour?" I motion to the bowl that I think contains it. It's not quite the same color I'm used to and has a yellowish tinge to it.

"Well I've been experimenting with a few things. I took some of the leftover hardtack and ground it up, since it's pretty much just water and flour, and added some of the cattail pollen that your mother collected, as well as a few other things."

The cattail pollen explains the yellowish tinge. "What other things?"

He waves the question away. "It's not important. Anyway, I think I've come up with something that just might work."

"Okay. So… what do you want me to do?"

He shrugs bashfully. "I don't know? What do you want to do?"

I shrug. "I never was much for baking."

"You can just watch if you want."

I nod my head and pull up a cord of wood to sit on. "So what were you thinking of making?"

"What would you like?"

"Cheese buns?" I ask hopefully.

"Unless you happen to have some cheese you've been hoarding, I don't think that's possible right now. Or unless you've managed to find that goat Prim asked for this morning."

I laugh. "Not yet."

"Then I guess cheese buns are right out. Anything else?"

"Meat pie?"

"You mean like… in-a-pan pie? Or in-your-hand pie?"

Both sound good to me. "Either one."

He thinks about it for a few moments. "I could probably do either and we wouldn't need the baking soda for them. Any preference?"

"I don't care. Whichever."

"How are you at making stews?"

"Pretty good. Stew is a good way to make meat last."

"You think you can make a really thick meat gravy?"

I shrug. "Probably."

"See, you're halfway there already!"

"Halfway's not all the way."

"No. But it's a step."

"A step to what?"

"What do you want it to be a step to?"

I suddenly realize that we're not talking about baking anymore. "Peeta…"

"Yes?"

"Why'd you really ask me to bake with you?"

"I thought it was pretty obvious. I wanted to spend time with the woman I love in the place I love the most."

I look around the cave at the stove and what's been set up in this makeshift kitchen and say, "Really? You love this room the most?"

"Yeah, really. It's where I feel the most… I don't know. At home. I'm good in the kitchen. I can contribute. I'm not just some pack animal. I've got skills that are useful. And that makes me useful. Maybe if I have some kind of use, you'll like me better."

I squirm on my makeshift stool. "I like you fine. You don't have to make me a meat pie to make me like you. I'm not that kind of girl."

"But I want to make you stuff that you like," he says earnestly. "It makes me happy seeing you happy."

"I'm already happy."

"Then I'm happy."

"You're weird."

He shrugs. "I know. That's okay, right?"

"Oh, Peeta." I take his face between my hands. "I like you fine just the way you are." And then I kiss him.

He starts slightly, then pulls me into his arms. Like Gale, his beard feels weird. Different. Unlike Gale, his is softer and less prickly when fully grown out. I don't mind the mustache as much. Still, it's a bit distracting, and I find myself thinking about the beard rather than the kiss.

I deepen the kiss to see if I can feel the little frisson of desire from before. I do. It's the same that I felt with Gale earlier today.

As if sensing my indecision, Peeta steps back and whispers, "Whoa, Katniss. You've got a way of boosting a guy's confidence."

I smile at him. "You keep kissing like that and you should be confident."

"I don't know. I could use another boost."

I shake my head, too many more kisses and we'll never get anything done. "Not right now. We've got pies to make."

oOo

I don't get much time alone with the boys because the following day the stream is filled with salmon. Our nets can only hold so many and the smoker even less. Even with the second smoker that Peeta and Gale built while Rory and I were gone there's not enough room, what with the pig and the goat that we got recently. So we can't get as many salmon as I'd like. But we still manage to haul in several large fish.

My mother suggests stringing up the salmon whole, with their innards cleaned out, to dry. I'm guessing she got the idea from that book of hers but it seems to work.

We haul in fish after fish, gorging ourselves on the salty bright red roe until we're sick of it. Even Buttercup turns up his nose at entrails after a while. Back in Twelve, Gale and I never caught fish this big or this many. I realize after our tenth fish, that with all of the other game we've managed to preserve that we're actually doing well. I've been so worried that without the addition of tesserae that we wouldn't be able to survive, but I'm happy that my fears have been put to rest.

Peeta and Gale of course notice my change in demeanor, but it's Peeta who guesses the reason why. "It's nice to see that we're not going to starve," he says. "That this place can support all of us."

"I wonder why that is," Prim says, overhearing.

"There's no humans around," Gale answers. "And the animals aren't scared of us. We don't have any other competition."

"I wouldn't say that," Peeta says, nodding towards the far side of the stream.

We look over and see a few bears along the edge of the river on the other side of the oxbow. Every so often some will plunge their heads into the water, pulling back with splashing fish in their mouths, while others swat the milling salmon onto the bank and pounce on them.

"Should we be worried about that?" Rory asks.

"Probably," Gale answers. "You know, we probably should have someone stationed up at the cave just in case."

"I'll do it!" Rory volunteers. "I get to use a bow, right?"

Gale and I exchange a look and I shrug. "I suppose. But you'd better take good care of it and I'd better not find a tree littered with broken arrows when we get back."

"I promise I'll be good. You can count on me!"

I struggle not to roll my eyes. He's so eager, he doesn't realize that he's signing up to be bored until this windfall is over.

My mother, Rory, and Prim go back up to the cave, my mother to bring back what we need to sleep outside. Rory and Prim don't bother coming back down. There's no point in keeping Prim out at night. She would just be in the way while the rest of us guard the catch.

While the three of them are gone, trouble strikes. The wind changes direction.

One of the bears on the other side of the stream perks up, sniffing the air. It smells our catch.

Crap.

It starts crossing the river, splashing its way through the sea of fish.

"Gale, get your bow. We've got trouble." My eyes never leave the approaching predator.

Peeta also reaches for a weapon, a long sharpened stick that my mother claims is a spear. I'm not sure if I would call it that, but right now we need all the help we can get.

I'm still hoping the bear isn't coming for us.

But it is.

It beelines straight for the line of salmon hanging between two trees. I feel a surge of anger well up within me. There is no way I'm going to let this animal take my hard-earned catch away from me.

I nock an arrow to my string and out of the corner of my eye I see Gale doing the same.

"On three."

We count.

"One."

I draw my arrow to my cheek.

"Two."

The bear advances on the fish.

"Three."

The twang of the bowstrings echoes through the air. Gale's arrow slams through the animal's rib cage and into the chest while mine impales itself in the bear's eye. It doesn't even have time to roar before it's dead.

Peeta looks over at us. "So... I guess we're having bear for dinner?"

Gale and I laugh.

oOo

Peeta, Gale, and I don't sleep well that night. Each of us takes a watch to guard our catch. Peeta has the idea to set up several fires around the edge of the area that we're protecting, both as a deterrent to keep bears away and to help see.

We spot a few large shapes throughout the night but thankfully a few shouts and waved torches keep them away.

In the morning, my mother and Prim come down to help with the next day's catch.

My sister calls out a greeting and I look up from where I'm seated next to the smoker. Behind her I see a large dark shape moving through the undergrowth.

"Prim!" I yell, jumping to my feet.

My sister looks at me in confusion then turns to look behind her. She freezes.

A huge bear emerges from the shadows.

Time seems to stop.

Beside me, I hear Gale swear and lunge for his bow. Peeta grabs a brand from the fire and runs toward the giant animal, yelling at the top of his lungs. My mother freezes, her mouth open in an 'O'.

I note this absently, like it's irrelevant. Because to me it is. All of my attention is focused on Prim. My baby sister who I'd sacrifice everything for is in danger, and I can't even breathe.

"Prim, don't move!" my mother calls.

But my sister is twelve. The bear grunts and that's too much for her. She breaks, running towards the beach and the potential safety of the camp.

It's the worst possible thing she could do.

The bear lets out a huge roar and starts to run after her.

Time speeds up.

I hear the twang of a bowstring as Gale looses an arrow into the side of the beast. That galvanizes me into action.

I raise my bow, nocking an arrow to the string, and fire. I'm not even bothering to aim. I need to distract the bear from pursuing my sister. It works, but only slightly.

The bear rears up and slashes out with its paws, catching my sister on the side, launching her into the air.

"Prim!" I scream.

She falls to the ground fifteen feet away, blood staining her clothes. She's out of the bear's path, but she's not out of danger.

I nock another arrow and I see Gale doing the same. We fire as one, my arrow embedding itself into the bear's throat while Gale's lodges in its chest.

The bear lets out a roar of pain.

By then, Peeta's in range. He hurls the flaming branch directly at the bear's face, blinding it.

It's the opening we need.

My mother breaks for my sister while Gale and I loose yet another set of arrows into the huge animal. My third arrow severs the bear's jugular while Gale's manages to slip through the huge beast's ribs and into its chest. The bear lets out one final roar that trails off into a bloody gurgle before collapsing to the ground.

Peeta pulls a knife and moves forward to finish it off. I don't wait to see if the animal's dead. It doesn't matter. I toss my bow to the side, running for my sister. "Prim!" I yell.

I skid to a halt, staring down. My mother's hands are coated in my sister's blood as she tries to apply pressure and staunch the bleeding.

"Give me your shirt," my mother orders, not even bothering to turn around.

I don't even think about it. I pull the thin cotton over my head and hand it to my mother, completely uncaring that I'm now nude from the waist up. She presses it against Prim's back.

"Is she alive?" I ask.

"For now. I've got to stop the bleeding and get her back to the cave."

Gale runs up. "I can carry her."

"Or I can," Peeta offers.

My mother looks over at them. "Gale, come on."

Gale scoops Prim up and the three of them hurry up to the cave.

I stare after them. I want to go after them but I know I'd be in the way. I'm not like my mother or Prim. I'm not a healer. I'm a hunter and we've got several kills to take care of and a catch to guard.

Peeta looks at me and then resolutely turns his back, unbuttoning his shirt and handing it to me. "Here."

I'm suddenly reminded that I'm standing there half naked. I feel the blush rise on my cheeks and I take the proffered garment gratefully. It's much too big on me, but at least it gives me some modicum of modesty.

"Are you dressed?" Peeta asks, his back still to me.

I nod my head and then realize that he can't see me. "Y-yes," I stutter.

Peeta looks at me sharply. "Katniss?" he asks.

I can't answer. I'm shaking too much. My sister, the person who is most important to me in this world, is lying at death's door, and I was too slow, too shocked, to prevent her from getting hurt. "This is all my fault," I whisper.

"You can't think that, Katniss."

I shake my head. "It's all my fault."

He slips his arm around me, leading me back towards the camp. "You killed the bear."

"I let Prim get hurt!" I scream.

"There wasn't anything you could've done to stop it."

I keep replaying the attack in my mind. Each time I see exactly where I messed up. "I could've killed the bear faster! Better! I could've done something! It's my fault."

He draws me against his chest, trying to comfort me. It's...nice…but it isn't enough. I still feel guilty.

"Prim wouldn't blame you," Peeta says. "And Prim wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

He's right. I know he's right, damn him. It doesn't stop the guilt.

I lean against Peeta's chest and start sobbing, letting all of my worries come out in huge gasping sobs. Time loses all meaning, I'm incoherent with grief. It doesn't matter. Peeta just holds me, making shushing noises in his throat.

I feel another person's arms go around both of us. I look up through tear-soaked eyes to see Gale. "Is she-"

Gale reaches up and starts stroking my hair. "Your mom's working on her right now. She's sent Rory out to look for some herbs but I thought I should come back to you."

"I'm fine." I sniff loudly.

Gale tightens his arms around us. "You're not fine, Catnip, and that's okay. You cry all you want. Get it out. Peet and me will watch over you while you do."

I break down into a second set of tears, this one more cathartic. The two boys hold me for I don't know how long. They keep murmuring little things under their breath and stroking my hair, back, and face. It's comforting. Their combined efforts are starting to make me feel better. It's what I need. I burrow deeper into their arms. This feels good. This feels right.

I surrender myself to the both of them, trusting both Peeta and Gale to protect me.

oOo

AN:
Written:
3/6/15
Revised: 3/13/15
Revised 2: 4/7/15

The title of this chapter comes from the song "At the Beginning" by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis from the movie "Anastasia". It was the breakaway pop hit from the movie. It really fit both the action of what was going on but also the change in Katniss's relationship with both boys.

We're really striving for honest characterization. One of us, RoseFyre, actually has a degree in Psychology and that helps with making sure that we aren't moving too fast or too slow in regards to how the relationship progresses. It's a slow process and it isn't going to be "everyone falls into bed and life is hunky-dory" but what we are really trying to do is set up the foundation that we're going to build the rest of the story on. The romance is important and it has a lot of relevance to the later arcs. We've had some people be concerned that Peeta or Gale will be an afterthought. This is not the case. Both of them are equally important. Hopefully you're starting to see that.

So stuff. They have some now, where'd it come from? Well, here comes headcanon. One of the things Katniss mentions buying in the very beginning of The Hunger Games is wool. Not yarn, not cloth, wool. So that implies that they have to card, spin, and make thread/yarn. Which led us to the hypothesis that the Capitol deliberately wants to keep the populace consumed with having to perform busywork in their downtime which will help stave off rebellion. If you're too busy having to make all the things to survive, you don't have time to rebel. Just look at the Arab Spring and the fact that it was spearheaded by the unemployed. That means that some of our characters have additional manual labor types of skills. Specifically Gale and Mrs. Everdeen. Gale gets the carpentry skills. On FanficAllergy's tumblr there is a link to a little girl making a stool with her dad, look at how fast and easy it is. However, he's still having to figure out how to make planks. Mrs. Everdeen gets more of the household/plant based skills. While Peeta gets a few as well. Nothing outside of the realm of possibility but a few additional skills that didn't come up in the books. And yes, Katniss can cook.

Bears and salmon. The area that we setting this in does get salmon and we checked when the salmon runs hit and how often. Also unlike all of the Pacific coast salmon many of the salmon species found in this area do not die after spawning, they return to the oceans/lakes where they live the rest of the year and this area has quite literally seven different species of salmon. Much of it was introduced to battle alewives and for sport fishing, but they'd still be there after the Cataclysm. Bears like salmon. They're easy calories (which is also why natives used to catch and preserve them). Additionally in the state that we're setting this there are currently in 2015 over 14,000 black bears… now imagine that without humans hunting or containing their ranges… welcome to Beartopia, population OMG ALL THE BEARS!

Things We Randomized:
- Everything they hunted/fished/gathered
- What was in the dented and unlabeled can
- Which day the salmon run started and how many salmon (and other fish) they got during it
- How many bears attacked, when they attacked, if they injured anyone in their attacks, who was injured, and how badly (sorry, Prim)

Thanks for reading!