A/N: This chapter mostly focuses on Beca, Chloe, and a bit of Luke's own thoughts. Sorry if it's a bit short, the next one would be too before we pick up with a length chapter 14. For now, here is chapter 12 with the start of my lull from the heavy angst.

I don't own pitch perfect.


Beca stood outside the hospital room in confusion and anger, in a mix of emotions she really couldn't make sense of. It felt like some part of her was still on the stage, trying to make sense of her confusing performance, one that started rocky with the jarring sharp sounds of the keys she hit with anger, frustration, and a sense of betrayal with Chloe not showing up. On the other side, a part her was still trying to catch up to everything that happened after.

Every step she took closer to where Chloe was felt like an eternity. Two warring sides of her trying to split her in half. She wanted to see Chloe, she wanted to make sure she was okay, make sense of what had happened and why she ended up in the hospital. But she also dreaded stepping foot inside the premises again. The scent of antiseptic filling her senses with the only sound she could hear coming from the infernal beeping sounds coming from machines from different rooms, all needed by their occupants.

Not you. Please, not you.

Her friends had gone on ahead into Chloe's room to say hello, all cheerful and hopeful, leaving Beca behind outside. A part of her just couldn't dare step inside.

This was, after all, the second time in a short while that Chloe found herself in the hospital, and Beca simply couldn't bare it. The images of her mother interspersed with the memory of Chloe the last time she had to visit her when she collapsed after their performance.

Not you. Please, not you.

She stood there waiting for half an hour with Luke and Avril. At some point, Luke went to leave her to grab some snacks and brought back with coffee for Beca to drink. "You're looking a little bit pale." Luke said and Beca simple nodded in response as she accepted the drink.

She stood there in silence with Luke as she did her best to fight the worse of the worst of her thoughts, grappling with her reality now against her reality before. Beca was thankful for Luke respecting her need for it, just being there for her without saying much.

She eventually snapped out of it when Chloe's door slid open from the inside, Amy stepping out of the room as Beca could hear Chloe's speaking with Aubrey and Jesse, lively as ever.

"You really should go see her, Shawshank." Amy then said, making her way to stand next to Beca.

"How is she?" Beca found herself asking.

"She seems fine. Apparently she slid and fell down. Hope you're not too queasy 'cause she hit her head and there's still bit of blood on the bandages. That's why they rushed her to the hospital. She's gonna be in here for a while for observations and such, make sure there's nothing too serious." Amy replied.

Beca simply nodded in response, not knowing what to say exactly. What Amy told her made sense, she shouldn't go worrying herself too much. Chloe should be fine. She'll be fine.

"If you're worried about there being too many people inside, don't worry. The three of us would be leaving soon, Jesse thought it would be better that way." Amy added.

"We can wait out here if you like or we can go on ahead." Luke then said. "Just keep us posted on Chloe when you swing by for your lessons tomorrow."

Beca once again nodded. "Thanks Luke."

"For what?" Luke simply replied with a smile. Beca wasn't entirely sure either, she was just really thankful he was around. It didn't feel like she was alone at the moment and that was pretty much it.

She didn't get the chance to give a proper reply, however, as Aubrey and Jesse stepped out of Chloe's room.

"You better go in there now, Beca, you're already in a lot of trouble. Wouldn't want you to be in anymore now do we?" Jesse then said and Beca nodded once more.

She never really was good with words and at the moment she was just trying to make sure she was composed enough to see Chloe.

Hospital scenes weren't exactly her forte.

Becs silently stepped inside of Chloe's room after saying goodbye to her friends. She did her best to fight the flashes of past images of her mother form popping up in her head and focused instead on the balloons, and flowers, and stuffed toys all around the room. She kept her focus on Chloe, sitting on her bed, her skin looking so pale. Amy wasn't lying about the bloodstained bandages around her head either.

Chloe barely even noticed her come in, her eyes fixed on the screen of her phone. From the sounds coming from it, Beca didn't have to guess twice that she's watching a recording of her performance, probably Jesse or Aubrey's doing.

Beca stood there as silently as she could, occupying as little space as she could of the room too, not wanting to disturb Chloe. She stayed that way until finally Chloe looked up at her and smiled lightly.

And all Beca could see were the nightmares brought upon the ghosts of her pasts.

Until Chloe threw a pillow to her face, making her remember that this moment wasn't her past.

At least not yet.


"I can't believe you still went on stage to play without me." Chloe said as Beca picked up the pillow she threw at her, looking slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, well, I figured I can make you feel bad for not showing up that way." Beca replied with a huff. "I didn't know you were rushed to the hospital." she added, her voice softening up a bit.

Chloe smiled a sadly. Watching Beca perform on stage without her made her incredibly jealous of the moment that had gone by, on what she had just missed out. "You were still playing rough at the beginning, so I'm not feeling too bad I missed that." she then said, hoping to hide the sadness she had felt. "But you change here, what happened?" Chloe then noted as she got to the part where Beca's playing had softened. "What was in your head?"

Beca took a deep breath and walked over to Chloe's bed, setting down the pillow she picked up to Chloe's side before settling down the seat next to her. She looked like she was weighing on what to say. Beca's been irrationally annoyed of the piece since Chloe picked it but she never really gave her any explanations as to why. She thought she wasn't going to get any explanations ever.

However, Beca decided at that moment to give her answers. "My mom used to put me to sleep playing Love's Sorrow. Sometimes I'd wake up to her playing it as well."

"Is that why you hated the piece?"

"I didn't hate it." Beca replied truthfully. "I just didn't know how to feel about it I guess. It meant a lot to me and my mom and I just didn't know how to deal with it all. It was the first piece she asked me to play when she decided to teach me."

Chloe nodded, not really expecting Beca to have opened up like that.

But she took comfort in knowing that she was slowly embracing her past and who she was.

That she was slowly opening up.

"The notes disappeared again but I remembered how my mom used to play it so that's what I did." Beca went on.

"Oh, here I thought you were thinking of me, Friend A." Chloe then teased.

"Nah, I stopped doing that." Beca replied. "I did at first. That's why the first half was so bad in the first place." she deadpanned before Chloe smacked her in the face with the pillow on her side.

But Beca didn't complain.

Instead she almost grabbed Chloe's hand, but hesitated in the last second. Beca looked away, mumbling as she spoke. "But seriously, how are you Chlo?"

Chloe smiled sadly, remembering the night before. She was so excited to play with Beca a second time, a skip in her step as she went over the score on her way to her bedroom.

But…

She hates it. She hated the way things were.

She hated that she collapsed again.

She hated that she hit her head badly because of it.

She hated that she didn't get to play with Beca on that stage for a second time, like it was an ever elusive dream she might never get to have again.

There were so many ways to answer Beca's questions then but she settled for the one that she knew Beca needed to hear.

"I was just too tired, that was all. That's why I fell and hit my head pretty bad." Chloe replied. "I'd says sorry for making you worry but we both know that it's mostly because you made me work so hard to get you ready." she teased but almost immediately backtracked when she saw Beca look at her with a pained expression on her face.

She was sure Beca might actually cry.

"I was kidding." Chloe then said in a soothing voice, taking the initiative herself and reaching for Beca's hand to hold. "I'm fine Beca. I just overdid it a bit without taking care of myself."

"Chloe…" Beca then said, starting to argue her point.

"I'm fine. A bit tired is all." Chloe replied. "But you can make it up to me by dropping by again. Tomorrow, with canalés?"

"Canalés?" Beca then asked, incredibly confused. "I guess I can ask your parents…"

"No, we don't sell those. My dad's still trying to get the hang of making the perfect ones. But they sell them in that café we went to once."

"Alright. Fine. Canalés then. Tomorrow afternoon." Beca adamantly replied making Chloe smile.

She left soon after, looking like she had a personal mission to accomplish. Chloe went ahead and re-watched the video of Beca's performance that Jesse thought of recording for her and smiles sadly at herself, still lamenting the missed chance.

Oh, how she would have wanted to be on that stage playing her heart out with Beca.

And as she listened, she wondered how something as Love's Sorrow was filled with such love and affection and beauty and color.


"You should have said something that your mentoring her again, you never stepped foot anywhere near the Mitchell house after her mother's death." Gail had said, taking a sip of her tea. Luke had gone out to meet her after receiving an invitation sometime after Beca's performance.

And what else could he do but accept. She was a friend of his own mentor, a classmate back then in music school. Luke had met Gail a few times before, and she undoubtedly had an interest in Beca's own growth as a pianist. Mostly because of how it pushed her own prodigy of a student, Lilly, but also because of Beca herself.

Luke always respected her at the very least. She was eccentric on most days, and incredibly talkative, but her heart was ultimately at the right place.

Besides, he was swimming in uncharted water here. He never mentored anyone before. He needed advice.

And he needed someone he could trust to talk to with his own concerns regarding Beca.

"There's an ever hanging sorrow in Beca's music. I don't know if you noticed that." Gail then pointed out.

Luke simply nodded. "I'm not entirely sure if that's ever really necessary as a musician, but yes, I've noticed."

"It's gonna be a hard path ahead for her, I hope you know. If the death of her mother triggered something in her before that made her give it all up together, then it's a demon's path that she's going to have to take." Gail then noted. "You have to be ready to guide her through this."

"You really have a vested interest in her, don't you?" Luke then asked.

"I have a vested interest in all talent like hers." Gail then replied.

"I know." Luke then replied.

"You look worried."

"I'm just concerned." Luke then replied. "Her growth as a musician is spurred by sorrow. If Beca walks this path, she might need to lose someone to move forward."

"It never really is easy." Gail then replied. "That's why you have to be the one to remind her of what music means to her when she loses faith."

"I know." Luke then replied deep at thought.


A/N: This might actually be one of the most heart-wrenching and depressing fics I've ever written. But I do love the story of the anime and it will always stay with me. That said, I tried to capture that feeling of anxiety, pain, and sadness with Beca as much as I can in this chapter because she knows that something's up but she wants to be wrong. That's why it's hard for her to go see Chloe or say something at all. She's got too many emotions running through her that overwhelms her.

That said, the lull lasts until chapter 15, and then chapter 16 will be long with a warning regarding something that Chloe mentions just as a heads up.

Shameless plug: For those of you also reading my other still ongoing Bechloe fic – A Twist in the Story – I'll pick up on that after I finish this one. If you guys don't read that… well, this is awkward… but maybe give the story a try?

UPNEXT: Beca and Jesse have a talk; Aubrey tries to be resilient; and we finally meet Emily in this fic!