A/N: There are three chapters left and two epilogues. There will be two epilogues because I see two different but very possible endings for the story. The next chapters will be much shorter than the previous three. This is largely due to the character's entering a time in their lives where everything is moving fast and most details aren't noted. (Reviews would be appreciated) This chapter will be pretty short and fun (I think the guys deserve it.)

Because these chapters are shorter, I wanted to give you guys some information about how this fic came to be. I originally planned for Effects to be two different fics. One was the AU where Sebastian and Blaine knew each other before 3x05, and the other would explore the mental issues. I decided to combine them because if someone was like Sebastian, void of any conscience or feeling, it would take them some time to warm to someone (Blaine), and more than just their interactions in canon.

Also, Blaine was originally supposed to not have any mental issues (past PTSD and anxiety), but I added them as the fic went on. Hunter was never supposed to be a character. Sebastian's birthday is May 28th because it is the day of "free-spirits".

I'm putting together a playlist of all the songs used in this fic that will be posted on my tumblr.

Love and Its Effects on the Art of War

Part 4: War

Book 1: Pre-Collegiate

I

"I remember my first day at Dalton," Sebastian said as he stood at the podium giving his valedictorian speech. He didn't recognize most the faces in the crowd. "It actually wasn't the first day of school. I came to tour in March of my eighth-grade year." Sebastian placed both hands on either side of the podium as he scanned the speech he wrote the night before. "I remember thinking it was the coolest thing in the world, even if I wouldn't admit it."

"Dalton has a way of humbling you," he continued after a brief exposition. "You come here thinking you're the coolest or the smartest or the most talented, and you leave knowing you are." The crowd chuckled. "But what's humbling about that transformation is realizing that being the best isn't everything. It's easy to get caught up in the competition of things that you miss the small stuff." Sebastian knew his speech was rather out-of-character but he couldn't exactly get at the pulpit and offend everyone.

"I've been here three years and I still haven't explored the whole place. It's intricate and fascinating, kind of like the people in it." Sebastian was practically cringing at his own words. It sounded like something Blaine or Nick would write, not himself. "A blazer and a few tons of hair gel can act as a good disguise, but no matter how much we try to mask ourselves, we never fully can. Each of us has some burden, some war we're fighting." Sebastian didn't stop to think about the war he was fighting; the war with himself. "As I come to a close, I want to remind you all to not lose sight of that. Don't forget that behind each face is a person just as real as yourself. Dalton is great but it's not the real world. I would love to, as the representative of the geniuses here, tell you how well you've been prepared to face the real world, but you're not. Dalton is a fantasy world honestly. You won't be able to hide as well out there. With that, I bid you all farewell and keep fighting the good fight." The crowd clapped as he left the podium.

"That was a really ominous speech," Hunter said when Sebastian joined them in the reception hall.

"I wrote it this morning." Sebastian shrugged and played with his diploma. He still couldn't believe that he had graduated. Somehow he survived.

"Wonderful planner as always," Nick said, grabbing his stepbrother's arm and pulling him into an empty corner. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"How did you manage to keep it from us that you weren't going to London?" Nick was still gripping Sebastian's blazer, his words sharp.

"I made a last minute commitment. It didn't cost any money."

"I don't care about the money, dammit," he cursed, letting go of the other's jacket. "You don't think it would have been nice to let us know? Your family?"

"I didn't think it would matter to you," Sebastian said, looking over Nick's head for Blaine.

"That's your problem," Nick said, "You don't think other people care about you. Just because you don't give a damn about us doesn't mean we don't care."

"I do care about people," he contested.

"You think you do. But you haven't changed. You talk about Dalton like it's some safe haven, but the truth is-"

"I don't belong here and I never have," Sebastian interrupted, pushing past him and out into the crowd.

"That's not what I was going to say," Nick sighed. He pushed family problems from his mind and went to find his friends.

II

Sebastian always knew he had a way with words, but he was surprised by the reaction his speech generated. People he didn't even know were talking to him about it, asking him exactly what he meant. When he answered "I have no idea," he was being honest. The words flowed from his pen early that morning as he made last minute preparations. Tina Cohen-Chang was the valedictorian for McKinley, and her speech was full of fake pleasantries and wishes for. Sebastian didn't want his speech to mimic hers or any other typical speech. He didn't want to insult his audience by pretending they all thought the future would be a bright light.

Hunter knew the truth, and he knew Blaine knew the truth. No matter how they tried the future would change them, pervert and perfect them. Some people liked to say that graduation was just a beginning, but Sebastian knew it was the end. It was the end of everything held sacred, and for the first time nothing was planned. It was easy to sign your life away on a college application, but nothing was set in stone. Perhaps that's why Sebastian was so ready for the future, so ready to move on. He could never sit still; the chance to roam enticed him.

"Looks like we're gonna be rivals now," Sebastian joked as he started to pack up his dorm the day after graduation. Blaine was spending the day with his brother, but still had time to talk to Sebastian on the phone. "Me being a Tarheel and you a Blue Devil," he said after Blaine responded.

Hunter cleaned his side of the room slowly, wanting to remember every edge of the dorm. In many ways the room changed him. He met his best friend, prepared setlists for a winning team, got into the Military Academy, and grew up a little while sleeping in the confines of the dorm. Sebastian talked up a storm on the phone, giving Hunter time to grab the envelope of papers from underneath the desk. He turned his back to his roommate and flipped through the papers one last time, making sure they were all there.

It would be so easy to turn around and hand it to him, Hunter thought, but he still couldn't. This was the first time in months he'd seen Sebastian truly happy. Nothing was fake about the smile on his face and the jump in his step. Hunter knew it was very likely they may never meet again. Because of this, Sebastian's happiness should have been no concern of his. But that was the thing about caring for someone: no matter how far apart they were, it never stopped.

Hunter had spent months trying to figure out exactly what he felt for Sebastian. It was easy to say "He's just my friend. I'm totally straight" but Hunter knew there was something else there. He wasn't necessarily attracted to him, like he was with Ivory or other girls, but there was some deeper connection he felt for his friend. He periodically felt jealous of Blaine, but never to the extent of fantasies or fights. He knew it would be easy to break them up, just as it had been to get them together, but his days of manipulation were behind him. Sebastian, he concluded, was an enigma he would never solve. All Hunter knew was that he did love him, in whatever way, and would miss him more than he had ever missed anyone.

"Well that's it," Sebastian grunted as he pushed his bed back in the position it was supposed to be in. The dorm was squeaky-clean and held no trace of inhabitants.

"I'm gonna miss it," Hunter said, his bags thrown over his shoulder. He wasn't leaving for West Point yet and had no idea where he would stay in the meantime.

"I won't," the other said. "I'll be glad to leave." Sebastian took his stuff and left the dorm without looking back. Hunter took one last look around before locking the door to H4CQ behind him.

III

Leaving Dalton held more sentiment than Hunter expected it to. He'd only been there one year, and most of the time he spent hating people in it. He could feel a shift as he pulled out of the parking lot, following Sebastian's sports car. It was the shift he had waited his whole life to feel, but when it came, he didn't want it. He spent his whole life moving, never staying in one spot. He was a rolling stone. But Dalton felt permanent to him, but only when he was leaving it. Hunter had put his full energy into wanting to be an adult, but being a child seemed better to him.

He took one last look at the castle in the rearview mirror until it disappeared behind him and he entered downtown Westerville. Though he didn't have to be in New York for over two months, he would leave Ohio within two weeks. He'd already scheduled a flight to Colorado to visit his family before flying off to college. A place to stay was still unresolved, but he wasn't worried about it. He was worried about what leaving would do to him. Every place he'd ever lived was temporary; he was a wanderer. But Ohio seemed right for him, or maybe it was the people, but Hunter feared what the future would do to him.

It was easy to be excited about going into the military when he was a small child, but as the time rapidly approached, Hunter became scared. He had a habit of putting people and things on pedestals only to watch them fall. From the time he was a small child he venerated the armed forces and those who served in them. What if that fell, too?

As his remaining days in Westerville passed, he tried to rid himself of negative feelings. He was about to book a hotel room for two weeks until Sebastian offered for Hunter to stay with him. "Never accept charity," his father had always told him, but Hunter knew Sebastian wasn't treating him like charity. He was treating him as a friend.

Nick was rather talented at hiding his discontent at Hunter being there. Hunter slept in the room next to Sebastian's, and after five days he wished he hadn't. Mr. Duval (Hunter was still confused as to why he changed his last name) didn't seem to mind Sebastian having Blaine over all the time. Surprisingly enough, Hunter grew to learn that, despite popular belief, Sebastian and Blaine didn't spend all their time in bed. They actually did a lot of things together that didn't involve taking their clothes off (though they all knew which Sebastian's favorite activity was).

Most days Sebastian's house was teeming with people- Sebastian, Blaine, Hunter, Nick, Jeff, and people none of them knew. Hunter didn't want to leave as the days progressed.

"Good thing we got out of school before my birthday," Sebastian said excitedly Hunter's fourth day there. Hunter cursed himself; he totally forgot Sebastian's birthday was the twenty-eighth.

"Lucky you," Hunter said. What did one do for an eighteen-year-old boy's birthday? Hunter's birthday was at the beginning of the school year and passed unnoticed. Though he didn't want to, he called the only person who would know anything.

IV

"Hello?" Blaine said into the phone.

"Hey it's Hunter. Can I ask you something?"

"Dude I'm at work, what the hell?" Blaine shoved his phone between his shoulder and neck before exiting out the back door.

"I'll call later, sorry."

"I got a break right now, it's okay." He pulled off the black and red baseball hat and sat on a nearby bench. One of his coworkers was smoking a few feet over. Very hygienic. "What do you need?"

"Well Sebastian just reminded me his birthday is in three days and I have no idea what to do."

"I've already got it under control," Blaine sighed. He liked to think that he and Hunter were on better terms than they had been during the school year, but sometimes the other boy's borderline obsession with Sebastian got on his nerves. "His dad is planning a big party for him, but I've got a surprise one at my house planned, too."

"What day?" Hunter asked.

"His actual birthday. The family one is for the day after to give people time to fly in from France." Blaine spent the rest of his break talking to Hunter and was relieved when it was time to return to his shift.

Arby's didn't pay too well but it did give him money for gas and other things. When he first took the job it was hard to explain to Sebastian that normal people really did have to get jobs. He'd worked part-time during the school year at Taco Bell, but they wouldn't hire him full-time for the summer. It was hard to juggle everything but he liked it. It made him feel older, less of a kid. His boss wasn't horrible; in fact she became a sort of confidant to him as the summer went on. His parents were present but absent in spirit. Blaine knew his mother did the best she could to be there for him, but she often didn't know how to handle him.

She had told him many times that he acted too grown-up for her to know what to do. She said he handled things people twice his age wouldn't be able to get through. Blaine thought that was a bit of an exaggeration, but he wasn't hurt by it. He would rather be separated from his mother because of his maturity than the separation being due to lack of connection. From the time he was a child he assumed everyone had the same family experience he did: A hard-working father who could be strict, a loving mother, one crazy sibling, and himself who was much calmer. It wasn't until high school that he truly realized how different other people's lives were from his own. Some were like Jeff who had two loving parents, or Nick with a broken family, or Sam with a loving but struggling one. He also saw how people grew because of their environments. Jeff had an ability to act half his age, a quality allowed because of his upbringing. But he could also act responsibly, a trait he had learned from helping take care of his little brother.

Blaine wondered what it was like to be someone's caregiver. He was the youngest sibling and never had a friend that needed taking care of. He supposed it would be humbling yet stressful. As he left work that day, it dawned on him that in just a few months' time he would be his own caregiver. He was good at being independent, but being alone in a different state worried him. But he would be okay.

V

Planning a surprise birthday party for someone who probably already knew you were planning a party proved difficult for Blaine. Sometimes he wished Sebastian could just be like everyone else and not feel the need to assert his intelligence in every affair. He dropped hints for days insinuating he knew of Blaine's plan. Blaine thought maybe Hunter slipped up and told him, but he knew that wasn't the case.

The hardest part about planning the whole thing was figuring out who to invite. As much as it pained Blaine to admit it, Sebastian didn't have many friends. The only people he seemed to have any interest in were Blaine and Hunter, and on some days even that seemed questionable. Blaine knew his boyfriend would be content with just himself, Hunter, and Nick there (he had to invite his stepbrother), or even with nothing, but Blaine wasn't that kind of person. He liked hiding himself in a crowd, surrounding himself with many people. He decided to invite all the Warblers and some guys from the lacrosse team.

Finding a venue was easy. Blaine's father was out of town, and his mother promised to be out of the house if he needed it. Blaine, Nick, and Hunter spent days cleaning the house, making sure it was perfect. They hid many breakables or expensive items. It wasn't that Blaine didn't trust his friends, but having that many teenage boys in one place could be dangerous. He knew Sebastian suspected something was going on, especially with all the boys out at the same time. Nick didn't have a summer job, and Blaine and Hunter only worked in the daytime. But, per usual, Sebastian didn't seem to notice or care.

Sebastian's birthday finally came around. Blaine knew he could do the cliché Don't Talk To Him Until The Surprise Party shindig, but Sebastian would quickly realize what was going on. They met early in the morning for coffee and went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness, which they both thought was pretty epic. Halfway through the movie Hunter thought it a good idea to call Blaine and ask for the password to his security system. Apparently he forgot to turn off the motion sensors and it was calling the police every time someone entered the living room. Blaine texted underneath his leg, trying to hide the light from his fellow theater-goers.

Blaine Anderson: The password is: 1122199413.

Hunter Clarington: Why is that the password?

Blaine Anderson: Why do you care?

Hunter Clarington: Just wondering. Do I type it in the yellow box or green box?

Blaine spent a good fifteen minutes writing a novel-length text explaining how to disarm the motion sensors. He began to doubt the self-sufficiency of those he surrounded himself with. They left the movie, both impressed, and Blaine hurried to the bathroom to make calls.

"Everyone's there, right?" He asked whoever had picked up. "The movie just finished and thanks to you idiots I don't think I can keep it a secret much longer."

"Blaine Anderson?" asked the person on the other line. Blaine recognized the voice but couldn't place it.

"Yeah that's me. Who are you?"

"Harrison, remember?" Blaine had no idea who that was. "From Sebastian's lacrosse team? We met like three years ago."

"Oh yeah," Blaine said, remembering the lively teammate. "Can you put Nick on the phone?" He asked, hoping Harrison knew who Nick was.

"Everyone's here, the cars are hidden, and the pizza just arrived," Nick said quickly. Blaine was thankful for his friend's punctuality. He couldn't hide in the bathroom much longer. "Just text me when you get in the neighborhood, okay?"

"Sounds good," he said, hanging up. He rushed out of the bathroom before the creepy old man who stalked the movie theater could ask what his name was.

"You were in there a long time," Sebastian said knowingly.

"Guess the coffee upset my stomach," he said quickly, falling into step next to Sebastian. "Let's get out of here," he said, looking around at all the small children filing in. "Damn kids."

"Now you understand where I'm coming from," Sebastian said, looking at the whining children with a disgusted look. They exited the theater and stood in the parking lot looking for their cars. Blaine hated taking two cars, but with Sebastian living in Westerville and he just outside it, it was hard to get around without them both driving.

"I'm taking a shortcut to my house, so follow me," Blaine said when they reached the cars. If he took the back route into his neighborhood they wouldn't be able to see the balloons Jeff attached to the mailbox.

Sebastian was born at 11:42 on May 28, 1995, and he made sure everyone on the highway knew that when they were stuck in traffic.

"I'M A FUCKING ADULT NOW!" Blaine could hear him yelling through the windows. He turned to see Sebastian with his window rolled down, standing up with his head out the window and yelling. Blaine couldn't help but laugh; it reminded him of the Titanic.

He checked to make sure the car in front of him wasn't moving. He unhooked his seatbelt, leaned out his own window, and took a picture with his phone of Sebastian in his Jack Dawson moment. He sat back down before anyone would realize what he did. Blaine looked at the picture. It was slightly fuzzy from his hand shaking, but it was clear enough. The Porsche's door was slightly ajar, just enough for Sebastian to stick his head out. His head was thrown back, left arm gripping the door. Blaine couldn't help but think he looked serene. Years later, when he was grown and the pleasures of youth had left his mind, the picture would remind him of the free days of his teenage years. The days when he was in love and the most stressful thing he could think of was how to plan a birthday party.

VI

Sebastian knew for about a week what Blaine and the rest were planning. It could be no coincidence that his house was empty every day leading up to his birthday. That being said, the party was more fun than he had expected. It was easy for him to cling to Blaine and ignore everyone else, but his boyfriend had a tendency of including him in everything. Not that he minded, necessarily. It was just strange to see all the Warblers out of uniform. It was weird to see them as actual people and not just members of a team.

Despite their heartwarming speech after Nationals, the Warblers mostly ignored Hunter. Sebastian felt bad for his friend. He looked so pathetic sitting in the corner of Blaine's living room, staring at an empty plastic cup.

"We're having a Just Dance competition and you're joining us." Sebastian grabbed Hunter's upper arm and dragged him to the TV. When he was a child and thought about what being an adult would bring him, playing a Wii game competitively was not one of them. He decided it was okay to let loose every now and then.

"Jesus Christ I can't do this," Hunter hissed as he tried to keep up with Harrison and Jared on "Party Rock Anthem".

"Finally something the captain can't do," Sebastian joked, heading into the kitchen to find another beer. He was surprised to see so much alcohol. Usually there was none in the Anderson household.

"Cooper bought me some before he went back to L.A.," Blaine said as he entered the kitchen behind Sebastian. "I'm not sure how good it is, but it has to be better than the flat soda Hunter bought." He hoisted himself up on the counter and leaned his head back against the tan cabinet.

"You're really bad at keeping secrets," Sebastian joked, joining Blaine on the counter. "I knew about this party for the last two weeks."

"Of course you did."

"It's my superpower." They sat in silence for a while, legs touching and Blaine's head on Sebastian's shoulder. Blaine always like moments like these- calm and without the burden of speaking. He didn't have to think about growing up and leaving and everything changing. It was easy to create a fantasy world in his head in moments like these. In one scenario everything was as it truly was: an eighteenth birthday party with cheap beer and video games. Sometimes it was a camping trip or a domestic setting. It could be anything he wanted it to be. But Blaine knew what it truly was- the calm before the storm.

VII

Hunter gave his thanks to the Duvals as he packed. The days after Sebastian's birthday passed too quickly. He was surprised he was invited to the family party held for Sebastian, though he knew it was because he was living with them. It was a suit-and-tie affair with expensive wine only for the adults. It was clearly Sebastian's family's thing, but not his. Sebastian seemed bored the whole night. Hunter knew his friend got tired of constantly switching between speaking English and French when around his family.

Hunter figured it best to leave early in the morning. His flight wasn't until one in the afternoon, but the sooner he got out the better. Nothing would distract him. Packing was easy. He didn't have many clothes, due to spending most his time in his Dalton uniform. He shoved everything in the suitcase and headed down the stairs.

"Did you think you could leave without saying goodbye?" Hunter looked up to see Nick sitting alone in one of the many kitchens. "Come on, have breakfast with me."

"I'll just eat at the airport," Hunter said, pulling his suitcase to the door.

"No you won't. Have a Poptart!" Nick held out a package of the breakfast food and waved him over. Hunter shrugged. What harm could staying a little while do?

"Thanks," he said, ripping open the package.

"No problem. Are you ready to leave?"

"Not at all." The sun was just rising. Rays of yellow were visible over treetops.

"Hunter," Nick said after a silence, "I want you to know that I meant what I said at Nationals. No matter what went down over the year I am glad I met you." Hunter looked at him and nodded, unsure what to say. "I can tell something's wrong."

"Nothing." Hunter shook his head, trying to be convincing.

"There is," the other said knowingly. "There always has been, hasn't there?" He gave Hunter his best scrutinizing look. "You've never really been on sync with the rest of us."

"Thanks for pointing that out," Hunter said flatly, getting up from the table.

"I didn't mean it that way." Nick stood as well. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you didn't belong with us. With the Warblers." Hunter nodded and turned to leave. "Good luck."

"You, too," he answered. Nick returned to his room and Hunter sat on the large couch, looking at the ceiling. He wanted so badly to leave without saying anything, but he knew that wouldn't work. He had to say goodbye. He walked slowly up the stairs, dodging the cat that nipped at his feet. He cursed himself; he almost forgot to put Mr. Puss in his cage. That would not be good. Hunter grabbed the cat and carried it up the stairs with him.

There was a faint musical sound coming from Sebastian's room. Hunter couldn't tell if it was a recording or if his friend was actually singing. He knocked on the door three times before anyone inside took notice of him.

"Come in," Sebastian said groggily. Hunter pushed the door open and walked in with hesitation. "Can you leave the cat out there?" He put Mr. Puss down and entered the room.

"Hey." Though he had been there two weeks Hunter never entered Sebastian's room. It was larger than the one he had stayed in. One wall was taken up by a giant window looking out into the backyard. Sebastian's bed was against the adjacent wall.

"Are you leaving?" Sebastian asked, sitting up. He looked tired, as if he hadn't slept the night before.

"Yeah I'm about to." Hunter fiddled with his car keys. He had to drive it to the airport where it would be picked up to be shipped to New York. He would be carless in Colorado. "I thought I'd say goodbye before I headed out."

"Come here," the other said, his eyes still half-closed. He patted the bed, gesturing for Hunter to sit at the end of it. Hunter sat down, crossing his legs at the ankles. It was a simple gesture of friendship, but for some reason Hunter felt nervous sitting on Sebastian's bed. "I'm gonna miss you," Sebastian said, a strange sincerity in his voice.

They must have sat in Sebastian's cold room for about an hour. They talked about anything that came to their minds. It was relaxing for Hunter. Everything was calm; there was no rushing around. He could hear the gentle rustle of leaves outside getting louder as time passed, just as Sebastian's eyes opened wider, exhaustion leaving him.

"Well I really do need to go," Hunter said when he took a look at his watch. It was getting late. He stood and walked to the door.

"I'm gonna miss you," Sebastian said again, also standing up from the bed.

"Me, too." Hunter didn't know what else to say. He knew what he wanted to say but he feared Sebastian would take it the wrong way. He wanted to tell his friend how he felt about him, that he loved him, but it wasn't the kind of love Sebastian would expect. Hunter didn't love him like a lover would, like Blaine did, but rather on a friendly level.

"This sounds super gay, even coming from me," Sebastian joked, looking at his feet. "But God, am I gonna miss you." He closed the gap between them and hugged Hunter tightly, setting his head on his shoulder and squeezing his back. "Thanks for everything," he said.

"Thanks for being my best friend," Hunter half-whispered before pulling out of the hug. "Goodbye, Sebastian." He picked up Mr. Puss and left down the stairs.

"Goodbye, Hunter." Sebastian stared at the empty threshold to his room for minutes, wondering exactly what just left his life.

Hunter sat in his car and searched through his suitcase for one item. He found it quickly. The envelope of papers was secure. He drove off to Columbus with Sebastian's secret in hand, one he didn't even know about.

VIII

The rest of the summer passed in a blur, as it tends to do when those celebrating it are elated. Blaine and Sebastian entered a routine of spending most of their time together, rarely letting the outside world affect them. But slowly, one by one, their friends left for college and their parents were buying them furniture for dorms.

Sebastian never quite understood his parents' relationship. They had separated when he was small, and his father married Nick's mother when he was eleven. Other than the wedding he hadn't met Nick until he came to live with them. His father rarely spoke of his mother and got angry whenever she was brought up. Sebastian always thought his father didn't like him, and that he was the reason for change of name. It wasn't until the day he was set to leave for Chapel Hill did he learn the truth.

"Sebastian I want to apologize to you, for everything," his father said as they packed the car. Originally Sebastian was going to leave with Blaine and Cooper and they would help him set up his dorm. But his father volunteered to go with him.

"What do you need to apologize for?" He asked, shoving a toolbox in the back of the SUV. The amount of cars his family owned would never cease to amaze him.

"For being distant."

"It's okay Dad."

"No it's not," his father said, walking around to the back of the car. "I'm sorry for keeping you from your mother."

"I chose to come back from France and I'm not mad at you for sending me there in the first place," Sebastian said. Part of him was glad his father was talking to him, but for the most part he wanted the conversation to be over.

"What I mean is that I'm sorry your mother and I split. I'm not sorry I met Susanna and Nick, but I had a duty to my family and I broke it." Sebastian heard something in his father's voice he never heard before, some sort of sadness. He couldn't place it.

"People split, it happens all the time," Sebastian said, turning from the car to face his father.

"But it shouldn't have. I should have stayed with Aceline."

"I don't why you guys split but it's okay, Dad." Sebastian put a hand on his father's shoulder, sensing he was upset. A year ago he would have cut off the conversation. Maybe being with Blaine had changed him. "You did what you had to do and I turned out okay, didn't I?" Sebastian felt his father's eyes on him, as if he were studying him.

"I never stopped loving her," the man said, his eyes looking away. "We just fell apart and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret it."

"Things like that happen. I understand."

"No you don't," he said, "you're only eighteen. You don't know what it's like to love someone wholeheartedly and wake up one morning to realize you don't feel it anymore. I suppose that's what happened, though I'm not sure. I say I woke up not feeling anything, but that didn't mean I didn't love her."

"If you didn't feel anything then how could you love?" Sebastian asked.

"I don't know how to explain it, son." His father ran a hand through his dark hair, searching for words. "I see how careless you can be, how thoughtless, and I used to be like that. I used to think the world was my playground. Until I met Aceline. She took my world and perverted it. She made me see what was truly important." Sebastian nodded, though he didn't quite understand what his father meant. "I think Blaine is doing that to you."

"I haven't changed," Sebastian said, clearly missing his father's point.

"That's what I'm worried about," the man said, walking around to get in the driver's seat.

Finding the campus was harder than they both anticipated. Chapel Hill was a small city, a university town, but the trees still managed to hide most of the signs. Sebastian had to put on his glasses to read them, even if he didn't want to. His glasses were thick and black, covering most of his face. He couldn't help but snap a picture to send to Blaine. He knew how nervous his boyfriend was, and wanted to whatever he could to ease it.

"Here we are," Sebastian said, looking around at the buildings. His dorm was located on campus, but he had to go to the main building first to get all the information.

"Want me to go in with you?" His father asked, his voice dropping. Sebastian could sense he getting emotional. Great.

"No, I got it," he said, stepping out of the car and taking his glasses off. He walked slowly into the orientation building, taking in his surroundings. Everything was just as wonderful as he had dreamed of. It was no London but it would work.

Sebastian spent most of his Dalton days walking around the school like he owned it, and despite being a freshman, he planned to treat college no differently. He may be younger than just about everyone, but he was still the best. College kids passed him carrying laptops, suitcases, and stacks of books. Even the trashiest of them looked so refined. Sebastian took a deep breath and entered.

"Please sign here," a woman said at the front. He signed his name on the waiting list before sitting down in a leather chair. His dad parked across the street and was talking on the phone. Sebastian squinted and could clearly tell his father was crying. Maybe he's talking to Mom.

"Sebastian Smythe?" called another woman from a side desk. He turned away from the window and stood.

"That's me," he said with a small smirk. He felt the eyes of the other students on him. It was time to begin.

IX

Blaine couldn't help but laugh when Sebastian sent him a picture of him wearing the glasses. Sebastian loved the glasses and would accept no argument as to why they were ridiculous. Blaine always thought he looked like a thirteen-year-old girl who popped the lenses out of her 3D glasses.

"Enjoying yourself?" Cooper joked from the driver seat. Blaine shrugged and stretched in his seat. The drive to Durham was a good eight hours and both his legs were asleep. Sebastian reached Chapel Hill two hours before Blaine and Cooper would get to their destination. He knew they should have left earlier, but Cooper was insistent on seeing This is The End, aka a total waste of time, before leaving.

"At the traffic circle, take the first exit onto Chapel Drive,"said the robotic voice of the GPS. Cooper originally put it on an Australian girl, but Blaine changed it soon after. He couldn't deal with hearing his brother flirt with a machine.

Cooper took the exit and continued down the road for about a mile before turning right and entering the campus. Blaine felt the familiar tense of anxiety enter him, but he fought it off. His hands tensed and the thump of his heart was louder in his ear. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus on something good. You're here. Finally. Ready to take on the world. Cooper is staying for a few days, Sebastian is only 10 minutes away, you'll be fine. Slowly his body calmed down, and just in time to see what lie ahead.

WELCOME TO DUKE UNIVERSITY read the brick sign. HOME OF THE BLUE DEVILS. Blaine smiled at the sign. He remembered reading something similar upon entering Dalton for the first time. It seemed like home.