Chapter 12: The Recap
May 16, 1979, 9:00 AM, the Electric Mayhem Bus
One a warm day in May in California, there was only one person around. He was just remembering his past life. He laughed, cried, and sighed at the things that happened. This was where he started and now, he was taking out his journal and writing down everything he remembered.
"I can't wait. I'm really excited about tonight. Tonight's the night of the big Hollywood party that's gonna launch our first movie, "The Muppet Movie". I'm sitting on the Electric Mayhem bus writing right now. I play base in the band. It's not just me. There's Dr. Teeth on the keyboard, Zoot on saxophone, Janice on guitar, and Animal on drums. The Muppet Movie is our first movie, as I've already said. It's about how this group I'm apart of called The Muppets first met and how we go from normal to anything BUT normal (even though we've never been considered normal before)!!"
"We've been kind of busy for a long time now. I can't remember anymore. The band and I have been with the muppets for awhile, but not as long as we've been a band. We've been a band since we were kids. Hard to believe but it's true. I remember the first song we had ever sung together as part of the muppets. It was called "Love ya to Death". I remember performing it in a special called Sex and Violence and again in Episode 10 of the series we're doing called The Muppet Show. We're already on our fourth season. Who knows when it will ever end? I'm not gonna lie, but there's been a lot of weird times in the past…even before I became a muppet. It all started when I was four. That's when I first met Animal. Back then, he was just a shortie, younger than me actually. After meeting him, I learned the fact that he did not have a momma around, so my ma-maw, dad, and I helped him out and soon, we found his mom, Laverne. Some time went by and one time, I ended up giving little Animal a bath. That was the wildest, most shocking moment of my life. After a few years, all five of us got into big trouble with those crazy crooks. I think their names are Tim and Goddard. After messing with us, we got 'em arrested. I don't know how long it's been, but it's been a long time since we've heard from them. I think that's a good thing. After that happened, we all decided to try to put it behind us and just think of it as a crazy memory."
"It took us a long time to get through it, but we did it. After awhile, there were other highlighted events like when Animal played the drummer boy in a Christmas play (I played Joseph and Janice played Mary). Then I gave him his chain for the first time. It was hard and I was really harsh on him. I regret being so mean. That's usually not me at all…except when I crack jokes on that pig my main frog, Kermit, has to deal with. Why do I even stand to be in the same room with her, I'll never know. I hate her diva type ways. She thinks she's "all that". No way! I think she's rude, crazily over weight and I'm only nice to her when she's not being a total diva like she usually is. I'm not saying that I hate females. There's a certain girl in my life who I've been friends with since I was practically born! It's Janice. She's probably the best girlfriend I've ever had. She's always there and around, she's talented, pretty, everything about her turns me on…not sexually, but in a way that doesn't lead to that. We're not ready for that much fun! We even both decided to wait until after the knot has been tied, but we've also decided that none of us are ready for that sort of commitment right now. Janice once was in a relationship with Zoot, but that was long ago. They didn't work out, but they're still great friends. After that fiasco, I started talking to Janice more and more, and eventually, everything went up from there. Everybody knows about us, and frankly, no one has a problem with it, and I'm glad."
"I remember another event from my younger days. It was the day we finally became a band. Our school needed a new roof, so my friends and I decided to talk our principal, Mr. Nelson, to let us help. When Mr. Nelson questioned us, we became the Electric Mayhem that day. To get a new roof, we made up an awesome song we sing in the Muppet Movie called "Can You Picture That?" Everybody who was there loved it! It was the best and proudest day of our lives."
"After that memorable concert, life started getting complicated for us. When we got confused and nervous, Dr. Teeth seemed to have been the one who knew what to do and when that happened, we always got out alive. Also, when he got a crazy idea, it was always crazy enough to work. Eventually, Janice, Zoot, Animal, and I decided that it was best if he were basically the leader. He was the best at it. That's why we're sometimes called "Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem". What's so great about it is that Dr. Teeth has never abused the fact that he was the leader, and that's one of the reasons why we respect him so much. Another reason is because he respects us as well."
"Anyway, a few years later, Animal met this horrible boy named Andrew. He was the local troublemaker in his class. It was later revealed that he had some special connections with these women who tried to seduce Animal. There was one day where Andrew led Animal to this shack, and that's where he met those women. They were Martha the sex addict, Chelsea the arrogant girl, Bianca the envious girl, Kathleen the sweet, generous girl, Chantal the greedy girl, and Danielle the defender. At least that's what Animal told us. If it had not been for those girls, he wouldn't be a crazed skirt-chaser. I feel like it's our fault. We weren't there with Animal, but it's too late. Now, every time anyone says the word "woman", we have to control him and calm him down. We were all disappointed in him. There's nothing we can do now."
"After that fiasco, Zoot started going through some hard times. This was because when he invited us to his house the day after the woman incident, he was honest with us and flat out told us that he had a hormonal imbalance, which was making him lose his hair. At first, it seemed like he was very embarrassed, but we reassured him that everything would be okay. Then, Zoot was even more honest with us! He stared explaining about a sad tragedy that happened when he was a shortie. We were proud of him or being honest with us. Now, Zoot's is doing just fine. We're all doing fine."
"Probably, the scariest thing that ever happened was the night I first met this girl named Gypsy. She looked like she was about fifteen, so I'm younger than her. We had no idea that Gypsy was practically Animal's brain, meaning that she told him what to do. We weren't happy so we tried to do something about it. When we did, she spit on Dr. Teeth, called me a horrible word that I won't repeat, threatened Janice, and shaved Zoot's, which is one of the reasons why the top of Zoot's head has no hair. Animal, however, injured her and eventually bit of her arm. There was blood everywhere. We were all in shock! After Gypsy was defeated, she was basically consumed by her own blood and vanished. Gross! We never saw her again after that night. I was just happy that we all finally knew the truth. Afterwards, we didn't treat Animal any different. He was still the same as before."
"Apart from facing criminals, hearing about crazy girls, and dealing with a powerful fortune teller, my younger days were pretty boring. When we were all in high school, we all participated in the school band. It wasn't like the Electric Mayhem, but it was better than nothing and gave us a reason to play music even at school. Animal was put in special classes, which he definitely needed. Zoot participated in every jazz band event, so he wasn't entirely bored. When he wasn't playing in the school band, he was either playing in the Electric Mayhem or it was in the morning and he was doing what he usually did. He was playing his sax near the lockers. This attracted a lot of people, and Zoot quickly became known throughout the school. He also tried his luck with some girls, but every time he tried to talk to them, he would always go blank. In The Muppet Movie, I remember when Zoot tried to introduce himself, he went blank, so I said that Zoot skipped a groove "…again!" I say again because when in high school when he'd try to talk to the girls, he'd go blank. He'd always skip his groove, so that's the reason why I say that he skipped his groove "again!" Janice was trying to make some new friends that were girls. She had a friendship with a very popular girl named Tammy. Unfortunately, Tammy kept on criticizing her, so that friendship didn't last. She stayed with us. That was a good decision...until she met this girl that literally looks like an anchovy. Her name was indeed Ann Chovy. I've never officially met her, but I've heard nice things about her. In high school, when he turned fifteen, Dr. Teeth learned to drive. At first people thought that he was gonna wreck the car, but he proved them wrong. At sixteen, he got his license, which gives him every right to drive our Electric Mayhem bus. He had a whole bunch of girlfriends…all of them had their hearts broken. When he was seventeen, he decided to not feel so empty anymore. When he was nine, Tim knocked one of his teeth out. Ever since, he kept feeling like something was missing. After finding some gold records, he decided to melt them into a solid gold tooth…and the rest was history. As for me, I tried to make sure I didn't make any enemies. I didn't thankfully. So basically, we all made our way into and out of high school."
"After high school, we all decided to not only stay a band, but make a living through the songs we would make up at the top of our heads. We eventually decided to leave our neighborhood behind. We'd decided to find a place we could turn into a coffee house. Luckily, we met this guy named Scooter who became our road manager when we asked him for help. He helped up with transportation by helping us by this boring looking bus and turning it into the bus people are going to see it as in The Muppet Movie. Anyway, Scooter followed us to a church out west. It was abandoned and we figured "…might as well start here." That's when we met Kermit. I don't know what would have happened if he never showed up into our lives. Everything went up from there."
"Even though I lives are getting better everyday, I still think that the enemies from our past, Tim, Goddard, Andrew, and especially Gypsy, are gonna find us one day, and then what will happen? I don't know, but the only thing we can do now is just play our music and have fun with it too. It is, after all, what we do best. I'm just glad that Animal has the power to act on his own free will, like when he ate those insta-grow pills. When he ate those while everybody was looking at his newly found length, everybody was surprised and scared except me. I couldn't breathe 'cause I was laughing too hard (I always knew Animal was gonna get himself known). Now it's time to great ready for the big launch party tonight. It's gonna be hosted by Rita Moreno and Dick Van Dyke, so I might as well put this down and get going."
-Floyd Pepper
After Floyd finished his long journal entrée, he closed the journal, placed it under the seat he had been lying on and walked off the bus. It was all over. His crazy memories all went away, forever stored in his head. His childhood was over and now it was time to move on. Animal was finally free of Gypsy's control, there was no demon inside of him except the fact the he was doing what she told him to and was able to stop before it was too late, and now that all that needed to be done was to have a great time at the launch party that night and, better yet, hope that his friends could continue living the life that they wanted. He can picture that.
End
