Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. I will also forewarn that I absolutely love quotes and collect them like crazy from all over, including but not limited to movies, books, plays, conversations and anywhere else. I will incorporate quotes in this story and will do my best to credit them at the end of each chapter. However, I am human and do make mistakes, and therefore I would appreciate greatly if someone would notify me if I misquote or forget to credit someone. In some instances, I do not know where/who the quote came from and will credit them as "unknown". If anyone does know where they come from I would greatly appreciate hearing from them.
Author's Note: This story is, above all, a romance story. I have read the latest installment of Harry Potter (Half Blood Prince) and will try to incorporate as much as I can into this fiction. However, I'm not great at action sequences and angst, so don't be surprised if I neglect to add some of the more intricate parts of the book-plot into this story. Example, Dumbledore is still dead, but the trio will return to school for their seventh year, McGonagall is the new headmistress but the horocrux thing probably won't make a huge appearance in this. Thank you and enjoy!
Chapter Twelve: Credo quia absurdum (I believe it because it is absurd)
"We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears."
-François duc de la Rochefoucauld
For the next week Hermione did a spectacular job of avoiding Draco at all costs. She left early in the morning—far before any of the other students were awake—and returned late into the night. She clung to Harry, Ron and Ginny like glue, laughing affably at meals, between classes and during her rounds and when they had Quidditch practice (which they seemed to have a lot of lately—what with Malfoy offering up his team's slot to the Gryffindor team every other day) Hermione holed herself up in the library, hiding behind a tower of books. On one hand, Hermione had never been doing better in her classes. On the other hand, she had never felt more like a coward.
It wasn't that she was afraid of talking with Draco. It was quite the opposite in fact. Over the course of the week Hermione had found that she thoroughly missed their tête-à-têtes, to which she had grown quite accustomed. Their banter it seemed was what kept her on her toes, something she had realized only when she began to seek out the same acerbic exchanges with her other friends, none of who seemed as eager to reciprocate as Draco always had.
Hermione bent her head over a book, her eyes glazing over the paragraph that she had been attempting to read for the past fifteen minutes. She couldn't even get past the first sentence of the passage and didn't even know how much longer she would be able to stay in the library. She had logged such long hours lately that even McGonagall had stopped her in the hallway the day before, inquiring into the size of her workload. She's just worried about you, Hermione told herself gently, figuring that she should feel honored that people were even noticing. Still, she couldn't seem to shake the annoyance she felt. It was true that she wanted to talk about what had happened in the hospital wing—with someone other than Draco—but she didn't like how people seemed to be talking and worrying about her behind her back, as if they were afraid to confront her about it themselves. Hermione was just about to reread the passage for the umpteenth time when a soft cough behind her alerted her to the fact that she was no longer alone in her little corner of the library.
"Ginny?" Hermione said in an attempt to mask her surprise at her red-headed friend's sudden appearance in the library. It wasn't that Ginny was foreign to studying—she was actually a better scholar than either Harry or Ron, although she had yet to reach Hermione's level of study—it was just the surprise at seeing her friend in such a secluded part of the library mixed with the knowledge that Gryffindor Quidditch practice was currently in session. "What are you doing here? I thought you were practicing." Ginny shrugged, pulling out the chair next to her brunette friend.
"I told Harry that I needed to take the night off," she raised her eyebrows conspiratorially, leaning in to whisper despite the fact that there was no one else around, "He was skeptical at first but I told him I was having some female troubles. He let me off pretty quickly after that." Hermione laughed out loud at this information and knew that if anyone had been around she would have been shushed for sure. Ginny smiled brightly though, tickled pink that she had made her friend laugh—something she felt had been sorely lacking from their year thus far.
"So what's going on? I thought you loved Quidditch," Hermione wondered, gently closing her long-forgotten book and setting it atop the pile in front of her. She turned to face her friend, feeling as if this could easily turn into a very different conversation. Ginny shrugged lightly, twirling a loose strand of her fiery red hair around her index finger. It was a habit she had carried since childhood, winding her hair around her finger whenever she was nervous or worried, and this situation proved no exception.
"I do, I just wanted to talk to you," Ginny admitted somewhat bashfully, her cheeks shifting to a rosier hue behind her freckles. Hermione cocked her head slightly but said nothing, prompting Ginny to continue on with her explanation. "I feel like we haven't been able to buckle down and really talk together this year."
"Oh I know," Hermione agreed, somewhat apologetically. "Between my Head duties and your Quidditch practices we barely have any time at all together." Ginny nodded dolefully.
"I completely agree—I miss having you in my dorm! There's no one decent to talk to at all! It seems the only thing those girls want to talk about is who has the prettiest nail polish or hair style or some other rubbish like that." Hermione smiled softly to herself, recalling the countless nights that she had stayed up trying to read while Lavender and the others talked about various drivel.
"Well I don't think it's against the rules for me to stay in the Gryffindor dorm for a night or so," Hermione said thoughtfully, immediately warming up to the idea. "I could always come and visit." Ginny cheered up considerably at this news, her eyes shining brightly.
"Really? You think so?" Ginny pressed excitedly. Hermione nodded.
"Absolutely—I could come tonight if you wanted." The more Hermione thought about it, the better the idea seemed. Spending the night with Ginny would allow her to catch up with her friends and she wouldn't have to come up with an excuse to stay away from her own common room until she was sure that Draco was asleep. It was the perfect escape.
"That would be great," Ginny declared, pleased with the direction of the conversation so far. Hermione had been hanging out with her and the boys all week, but there had been a certain impassiveness to her that had Ginny worried that her latest attempt at conversation would be unwelcome. It seemed that all her fear had been for naught though, as Hermione seemed brighter than she had all week.
"Then it's settled—for tonight at least you'll be saved from Lavender's nonsense," Hermione laughed lightly to herself. She paused when she noticed the suddenly-serious note fall across Ginny's usually-playful features. "But I know you didn't come so I could invite myself to stay with you tonight. Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Ginny blushed, slightly embarrassed at her transparency. She had never been able to hide anything—between her fidgeting and her tendency towards blushing; she was like an open book when it came to her feelings.
"Actually Hermione, there was something—well, someone really—that I wanted to ask you about," Ginny began, treading slowly with her words so that she could gauge Hermione's reactions to her remarks. When Hermione's face remained blank, Ginny continued. "Well, it's just that I've just been noticing a few things lately between you and Malfoy." Hermione's face went pale and she seemed to lose her voice for a second but her voice failed to falter when she quietly asked,
"What things?"
"Just—unusual things I suppose," Ginny supplied, suddenly at a loss for specifics. "Like the way you talk about him—or the way you're always hanging out with him, defending him and the like. It's not bad, it's just…different." Hermione glanced down at her hands, feeling certain that her feelings were playing out across her face. In all honesty she didn't even know what she was feeling towards the blond Slytherin. He made her furious at times, but he also had a softer side to him. Almost as if he was sensitive or caring in some secretive way. Yeah, Malfoy sensitive, Hermione laughed to herself, that boy's about as sensitive as a toilet seat. Hermione glanced up and when she realized Ginny was still watching her for an answer she reddened once more. Why did she have to notice this? No one notices anything and suddenly she noticed this!
"Well, I guess I was just worried about you. I mean, is there anything going on with you two?" Ginny pressed and Hermione sighed.
"Oh Ginny I don't know," she admitted finally, rubbing her eyes in exhaustion. She had been thinking it over for the past week and had yet to come to a conclusion. "I mean, we had one kiss, but it was really small and didn't really count and now neither of us quite know what to do about it." Ginny's jaw dropped open suddenly, her eyes bugging out in shock.
"You kissed him?" She squealed so loudly that for a moment both girls went deadly silent as they made sure they were not in danger of being discovered. Ginny, still smiling madly, leaned in, whispering in a loud voice, "I can't believe you kissed Malfoy! Where?" Hermione blushed.
"In the hospital wing." Ginny giggled surreptitiously, scooting her chair closer to her friend's.
"Hermione—why didn't you say anything before? Who else knows?"
"No one—and Ginny please don't say anything to anyone—especially Harry or Ron. They would go absolutely bonkers." Ginny laughed out loud, visualizing the less-than-happy reactions of her brother and best friend.
"I promise—but you have to tell me all about it. I can't believe you waited a whole week to tell me about this!" Hermione smiled slightly, recalling the moment. There hadn't been one single moment in the past week when she hadn't been thinking about the kiss, but she had never stepped back to really examine it. Her thoughts regarding their unexpected kiss had all been purely analytical—what did it mean, what did Draco think of it, how were they supposed to act around eachother now? She had never just sat back and thought about the beautiful unfussiness of it. It had been a kiss, plain and simple. True, it had inspired a million different electrical currents to shoot through Hermione, but it had only lasted a moment and that was it. It wasn't Hermione's first kiss but it was by far her best and she felt cheated that she hadn't been able to discuss it with her friends as she would have had it been anyone but Malfoy.
"There isn't really much to tell," Hermione confessed, "I was visiting him in the hospital wing and we were eating chocolate. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me close and I just kind of leaned down and…we kissed." Ginny's face had broken into a wide grin of excitement and she leaned closer to her friend so that their conversation would not be overheard by any student wandering deep into the library.
"Hermione, I can't believe this! Why didn't you tell me you two were going out?" Hermione blanched immediately, her throat constricting painfully at the words.
"I haven't told you because we aren't going out—not now or ever! It was a silly mistake and I think both of us would like to forget all about it." Ginny pouted slightly, cocking her head to the side.
"Why not? It's clear you two are mad for eachother." This was news to Hermione who shot up so quickly that she narrowly avoided smacking heads with Ginny.
"What in God's name are you talking about?" Hermione demanded and Ginny looked dubious.
"Don't tell me you don't see it—that's blatantly obvious!"
"To who?"
"Anyone with eyes, ears and a semi-functioning brain! Well, I don't know if Ron and Harry see it yet, but they will pretty soon." Ginny informed her knowingly. Hermione shook her head.
"Oh honestly Ginny, that's the most inane thing I've ever heard. Draco and I are not 'mad' for eachother." Ginny raised and eyebrow, staring skeptically at her best friend.
"Hermione—I can't believe you don't see it. You're always making excuses to hang around with him or watch over him, you stick up for him in front of the guys and you blush whenever someone mentions him. You two flirt all the time when you're doing your rounds—and don't try and deny that, because everyone can testify to that. Not to mention that you just called him as Draco." Hermione paused, taking in all of Ginny's evidence. Did I call him Draco, she wondered vaguely, unable to recall how she had referred to the boy.
"Ginny, that's not flirting that we do on our rounds that's talking, and what does it matter if I call him Draco—that's his name." All of Hermione's protests did nothing to deter Ginny who was shaking her head at her denial.
"Hermione—has anyone told you that you are a terrible liar? I wouldn't consider a career in espionage if I were you." Hermione sighed heavily, covering her face in her hands. She didn't know what she wanted from Draco, but she knew for certain that she wanted things to go back to normal. Back when they were just friends—not necessarily completely comfortable with eachother, but there had certainly been no awkwardness either. She didn't want to analyze every glance or sentence that Draco said to her. She just wanted things to go back to how they were.
"Ugh—I wish certain things would just stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone!" She cried out in defeat, prompting a concerned Ginny to pull her friend into an impromptu hug.
"Hermione—I'm not quite sure what you're talking about, but what I do know is that you've been different this year. Not different in a bad way either—just different. And in my personal opinion it's the best thing that you've done in the past seven years." Ginny paused, thinking carefully before smiling thoughtfully at her friend. "Never pass up new experiences Hermione, they enrich the mind." Hermione was dumbstruck.
Was Ginny actually encouraging her?
Sources:
"People never notice anything." Was from Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
"Sensitive. That boy was about as sensitive as a toilet seat." Was from Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
"Certain things should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone." Was from Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (Hmm, it seems as if I've found an Alice in Wonderland replacement, doesn't it? Hahaha!)
"Never pass up new experiences…they enrich the mind." Was from Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
