40 reviews! So close to 50 which is half of 100. I feel so loved! :D Of course, thank you to my reviewers and everyone else who reads this story. To my regulars, DestineyTot, Usagi323 and Darksuns-Moon, you guys are wonderful. Thank you for reviewing every new chapter. I really appreciate it and it always gives me an extra boost whenever I run into writer's block. To my newer ones, America96, Alexandra B and Alice-in-Wonderland-97, thank you for taking the time to review and I'm glad you guys like the story :D
Also, to Miss Braginskaya, about the shota...um, the answer kinda depends on what you mean. I'm an idiot with the anime/manga terms like that so I looked at the definition of it and it was kinda vague. I suppose it could fall into the non-sexual category. If there isn't one than...no. XD
Okay, chapter stuff...First off, parts of it were written when I was tired and I tried to fix it up, but I was tired then too so...might still be meh. And sorry, sis, it's not as light-hearted as I had hoped (or promised). But it's not nearly as dark as the last chapter.
PS everybody gets a double-chocolate chip cookie (that's what I promised, right? Don't remember XD). I made too many and I can't eat them by myself :3
Should I put a chapter warning if the Emperor is in it? XD
-O-
Title: Built Upon the Snow
Author: La'Keera
Rating: M
Warnings: May contain violence, dark and/or suggestive themes and foul language
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, obviously
XII: New Sights
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Alfred pried his hand out of the Ivan's iron grasp. If he wasn't going to save the poor woman Alfred would. He grabbed one of the guard's arms but the man paid him no attention. "Stop! Stop hitting her!" He couldn't bear to hear the cries she made at each blow but they wouldn't listen to him and he wasn't nearly strong enough. He kicked one of the men in the back of the knee but the brute didn't even flinch. He did turn and smack Alfred in the side of the head though, sending him into the snow that covered the street. It seemed to break Ivan from his trance.
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"Stand down!" Ivan screamed, his voice raw with anger and desperation. The guards immediately quit, returning to their places.
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Alfred rubbed his head and stood unsteadily before going to the woman. She coughed and looked up at him fearfully; blood trickling down from her lip and newly broken nose. "It's okay." He knelt by her and helped her sit up.
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"Alfred, we're going home." Ivan's voice shook and he wouldn't even glance in their direction. He looked ill.
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"We have to help her!" He took off his coat and put it over her shoulders. It didn't cover her very well, but her eyes still shone with appreciation. The clothes he wore under the coat were useless against the cold. He might as well have been naked. "Why didn't you call them off sooner?"
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Ivan didn't answer, keeping his gaze focused on the direction of the palace. "Arthur, stay here and arrange for a doctor to take care of her."
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"Yes, Master." Arthur handed the clothes and shoes to Ivan.
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"And the kid." Alfred ignored the look of alarm on his teacher's face, focusing instead on the young master. He wasn't leaving the poor woman until Ivan agreed. He didn't care how much he pissed him off.
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"And the child," Ivan consented with resignation before reluctantly looking back at them. "Come on. We're going home."
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Alfred rubbed the poor woman's shoulder before returning to Ivan's side. They made a hasty retreat, the horrible brutes keeping pace easily. Alfred had a little trouble with the long strides but the young man had a tight grip on his hand. Another person called to them from the crowd and Ivan broke out into a run. The guards at the gate barely got it open in time before they rushed in. Only then did Ivan stop long enough to look back. It was nothing but a brief glance before he resumed his hurried return to the safety of the palace. Alfred was shaking and stumbling from the cold, so he was just as eager to get inside.
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As soon as the doors closed behind them Ivan knelt in front of him and hastily unfastened his coat. "I'm sorry, sunflower. I'm so sorry." It was the closest to tears Alfred had ever seen him. His hands shook as he worked the buttons loose. Once he had it open he pulled Alfred close.
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Alfred snuggled into the coat, clinging to the warm body. "Why didn't you call them off?"
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Ivan shuddered in his arms and pressed his face into his hair. "I can't…I can't talk about it. Please don't ask again."
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"You can trust me, you know." He sighed and held tighter, wishing Ivan would let him in so he could understand. He knew he had already seen more sides to Ivan than almost anyone else but he also knew there were more to be discovered. If only Ivan would show him. He looked down at the clothes that had been carelessly dumped on the floor but he didn't feel like leaving the warmth of Ivan's coat and arms. The trip into the city hadn't been nearly as fun as he thought it was going to be. He just hoped the poor woman and her child would be okay. "You know, if you had just given her something that wouldn't have happened."
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"Yes. I know." Ivan held him tighter, pressing his face against Alfred's neck.
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Even though he felt it was mostly Ivan's fault, he couldn't bring himself to be mad. The young master seemed more traumatized from the events than even the woman had. "Why didn't you? Would it have really been so bad?"
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"When the Emperor finds out we spent money on a doctor to help some peasant woman he'll likely be angry. And it's you he'll take it out on." Ivan pulled away enough to look at his face, defeat showing clearly in his expression. "When he tortures you will you regret the choices we made?"
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Alfred shuddered at the thought of being tortured. But looking back at it, he would still help her. Because nobody else would have. Everybody needed a hero. And wasn't that was heroism was all about? Self-sacrifice for the greater good? "I'll never regret doing the right thing. No matter how much it hurts me."
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Ivan studied his face then cupped it in his hands and pressed light kisses to his forehead and nose. "Don't ever change, sunflower. Don't ever become like me."
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He closed his eyes and grabbed Ivan's wrists, resting his forehead against the young man's. "I don't think I could be like you if I tried."
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-O-
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Alfred woke up alone, the bed cold where Ivan should have been laying. He glanced around the room but there was no sign of the young master or any clue as to where he might be. Alfred was usually the first awake so this was a little troubling. He climbed out of the bed and quickly changed out of his night-clothes. When he went down to the kitchen he found Arthur sitting at the table, reading a letter. He quickly folded it and put it in his pocket when Alfred entered.
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"Morning, lad. How'd you sleep?"
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Arthur never asked him that. "I'm not going to ask about the letter, if that's what you're worried about. But I would like to know if that woman and her kid are okay."
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"As far as I know they're both fine and improving. I couldn't stay very long, but the doctor said they would recover." Arthur got up and made himself busy cleaning the counter and stacking dishes. "I hear you're leaving tomorrow. Remember everything I've taught you. And also remember they aren't as lenient over there as your master and the mistresses are. Always be on your best behavior."
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"I will." He helped with the dishes and cleaning up, feeling a bit of excitement again. Knowing the poor woman and her child would be okay eased a lot of his concern and guilt. Now he just had to worry about Ivan's absence. None of the servants were likely to know anything so he didn't bother asking them. The instant he could slip away unnoticed he hurried back to the room. To his relief Ivan lay on his stomach on the bed. He looked asleep, but Alfred could tell he wasn't by the way he breathed. "Hey. Where were you when I got up?"
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"Taking care of something." Ivan moved his head so half his face wasn't buried in a pillow. He looked tired but he still smiled slightly. "I have the day free so get your studies. I'll help you with them."
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Well, he wasn't going to refuse help. He gathered them all up and moved on to the bed, lying on his stomach beside Ivan. It didn't take him long to notice something was a little off though. "Have you been drinking?"
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"Maybe a little…" Ivan shrugged, his attention focused mostly on the papers strewn in front of him. He was, needless to say, not really in any position to actually teach. But he was entertaining, so Alfred didn't say anything. As Ivan tried to explain the concept of politics without confusing his student or himself, Alfred climbed over him and found the bottle he had likely been drinking out of. Laying across Ivan's back made it so he could barely reach the bottle but with a little effort and stretch he managed to grab the neck and hoist it up.
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"What does this stuff taste like?"
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"What does what taste like?" Ivan looked over his shoulder and noticed the bottle. "Go ahead and have a taste. You won't like it."
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Alfred took a cautious sip. It didn't have much of a flavor. It was kind of like really strange, intense water. It wasn't too bad, actually. Then he swallowed it. If felt like a burning ice cube going down his throat. He coughed and held the bottle away, wanting to smack Ivan over the head with it when he laughed. "Oh crap…that is terrible. Why would anyone drink that?"
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Ivan chuckled and took the bottle, taking a drink himself. "You would have to drink more of it to understand."
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"No way. I'm never drinking that stuff again." He wiped his mouth and shuddered at the feeling in his throat. It even burned his stomach. He moved off of Ivan's lower back and lay beside him, watching his companion as he drank the stuff down like water. "So what made you decide to start drinking that stuff?"
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"Don't want to talk about it," Ivan said around the mouth of the bottle. He finished it off and grumbled in disapproval at its emptiness before setting it back beside the bed. They settled back to looking through the papers in silence with the occasional comment or not-so-helpful explanation. Ivan must have been feeling the effects of the alcohol because he became progressively harder to understand.
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"Maybe we should stop for today." Ivan made no objection so he moved his studies to the chest at the foot of the bed. Once he returned to his place he snuggled against the young master's side and closed his eyes. They wasted several hours like that, doing nothing and simply lazing about. It was kind of nice at first but then he got bored. So he climbed off the bed and went back to work.
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When he first entered the kitchen he expected Arthur to chew him out for slinking off but his teacher only shook his head and pointed silently to a stack of dishes. So he washed them then helped clean the floor of the entrance hall and the east wing. He had never been worked so hard and with such a rush. Any time Arthur passed him with his own work he told Alfred to hurry up. Why he felt the need to do it all so quickly, Alfred had no clue. When dinner came he had to help load the trays before settling down at the servant's table to rest.
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"Good job, lad." Arthur patted his shoulder before going off. Alfred wanted to kick him. He was tired and knew he would be sore in the morning. There would have been time to do all that crap after dinner, but it all had to be done before. For whatever stupid reason.
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Suddenly he was hugged from behind and he heard Feliciano's happy little laugh. "We're going to miss you, Alfie! Have fun while you're gone."
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He looked up from resting his head on the table to see the kitchen filling with servants. Even those that worked outside. Something was up. "What is this?"
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"A going away party of sorts," Arthur told him with a small smile. He leaned over the table and ruffled Alfred's hair. "Sorry I had to work you half to death to get everyone's chores done in time. Maybe dinner and dessert will make up for it."
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"Dessert?" They never got dessert. He sat up straighter when Toris came in with a tray, followed by a few others. They set them down in the center of the table and lifted the lids off to reveal food almost as good as what they served the masters. "I thought we weren't allowed to eat actual food."
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"I pulled a few strings." Arthur smiled wider and handed him a plate. "I figured you deserved a decent send-off. You may be hard to get working, but you do your best once you start. I'm really going to feel it when you're gone."
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"Yeah, it's sure going to be different without your annoying little ball-of-sunshine personality bouncing around here," Lovino offered, gnawing at the end of a toothpick. He had grown almost as tall as Arthur but still looked lanky.
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"Hey, Alfie." Mattie appeared beside him, smiling shyly. He gave a cry of surprise when Alfred hugged him tightly almost immediately.
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"I haven't seen you in forever! Where have you been?"
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"With Mistress Katya."
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"Who?"
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Mattie shook his head and sat in the seat beside him. "Mistress Katyusha. She wanted me to call her Katya."
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Huh. He turned back to the food and filled his plate. Feliciano sat on Alfred's other side, humming happily as he ate his plate of pasta. Arthur, Toris and Lovino were by the sink, trying to open a bottle of wine with both sides putting up a good fight. The other servants, whom he wasn't so familiar with, chatted from their places at the other end of the table. He couldn't help smiling as he watched everyone. The dinner was delicious and every face had a smile. Except Lovino, but he never smiled anyway.
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A cry of victory came from Arthur and was soon followed by cheers and applause. All the adults held out glasses for the wine, which Arthur dutifully filled before emptying the bottle into his own glass. When he noticed Alfred's gaze he smiled and offered the glass. "Were you wanting a taste?"
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He hesitated, remembering his last experience with alcohol. But everyone seemed to like it so it couldn't be as bad as whatever the hell Ivan drank, right? So he took the glass and took a sip. What it lacked in unpleasant after-effects it made up for in gag-worthy flavor. "Crap. All alcohol tastes awful."
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Arthur laughed and took the glass back and took a drink himself. "Mm. It's actually pretty good wine." He examined the bottle intently, a small smile spreading across his face. His expression was similar to one Ivan wore sometimes when Alfred caught him watching him. It made him wonder where Arthur had gotten that wine.
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Once everybody sat down and started eating the conversations shifted from one topic to another so easily and quickly keeping track was nearly impossible. The subjects also varied depending on where you sat at the table. The table itself wasn't big enough for everyone so people sat in chairs behind others, having to ask for anything they wanted. Still, despite the crowded sitting arrangements, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.
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The dessert was cake. Not chocolate, but it was still heavenly. Apparently Lovino and Feliciano had never had cake so Alfred was glad they had the opportunity. The conversations lasted longer than the meal, everyone having someone they hadn't seen in weeks, months and sometimes years. From listening to some of the talks Alfred gathered Arthur had started out as a stable boy. Some of the less trustworthy looking of the servants joked suggestively about how he had gotten so high in the ranks so quickly. Arthur pointedly ignored them.
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The laughing and talking continued for some time before Toris's voice cut through it. "Everyone, it's nearly one am. We had all best be going to bed."
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"Is it really that late?" Alfred glanced around at the surprised faces. Some of the people did look tired and Feliciano had fallen asleep a while ago. Mattie looked about ready to join him so Alfred took his arm and led him to the door. He looked back at everyone and waved with a smile. "Thank you all for the party. I'll see you when I get back." To his surprise everyone waved back, even the people he didn't know very well. Once he closed the door after them he led his little brother up the stairs. They separated in the hall, Mattie going into a door on the opposite side of Ivan's room. When he entered his own room, Ivan lay sleeping in his uniform in the center of the bed. Great.
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He went to the bed and untied the laces of Ivan's boots and pulled them off before setting them by the foot of the bed. He unwrapped the scarf from around the young man's neck so he didn't strangle himself in his sleep and tied it around the bedpost. He paused at three dark spots on it. He had never noticed them before. They looked black in the low light. He sniffed the scarf to see if it needed to be washed. It smelled strongly of Ivan but not much else. It smelled pretty good actually. Still, he had a job to do. He turned his attention back to Ivan and unbuttoned his uniform jacket. He tried to pull Ivan into a sitting position so he could slip it off but the young master was far too heavy. Light for his build. Bullshit.
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He moved onto Ivan's lap and grabbed the front of his jacket, using his own weight as leverage. It worked but the instant he let go Ivan flopped back in the bed with a grunt. Dammit. "I'm doing this for you, you jerk, so you could be a little more cooperative."
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"You could have just asked…" Ivan mumbled, opening one eye to peek at him.
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"You bastard!" He smacked the jerk's chest and climbed out of his lap, settling beside him with a huff. "Here I was struggling to help you out of that stiff uniform when you could have just sat up for me. I'm never helping you again."
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"Mmm-hmm…" Ivan sat up and yawned before slipping the uniform jacket off and tossing it on the floor carelessly. "Where did you disappear to for so long?" He laid back and grabbed Alfred around the waist and pulled him against his chest, nuzzling his face in his hair.
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"I was working." He wasn't sure it would be a good idea to tell Ivan what he had actually been doing. When his answer was met with an uninterested 'hm' he relaxed into the bed. Despite their close proximity he still felt a bit of a chill but the blankets were beyond his reach and Ivan's arms were sabotaging him, as usual. He had to grab the covers between his feet and pull them up to his hands. Once they were covered he curled up against his bed-mate and tried to get to sleep. But even though he was tired, his mind still worked through the past few hours and he couldn't settle it long enough to drift off.
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In an attempt to clear his head he focused on the scars along Ivan's neck. He cautiously reached up and slid the tip of his finger along one of them, expecting Ivan to throw his usual fit. Instead he only trembled slightly under the touch and grabbed Alfred's hand. But it wasn't to stop him. Sensing more than knowing it was okay, Alfred gently pressed his palm to Ivan's throat, feeling the strong pulse underneath. "I'll protect you from him if you want," he whispered, snuggling up against Ivan's chest.
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"That would defeat the purpose of me protecting you, don't you think?"
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"I suppose so." He pulled the covers higher and settled into the bed, getting comfortable and sleepy.
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"I will do anything to keep you safe, sunflower. I love you."
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Alfred froze at the declaration but only briefly. When he met the young master's gaze, the other frowned.
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"I don't think I wanted you to know that."
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"Let's just go to bed, okay?" Alfred felt a little relieved when Ivan consented without a word. He curled up in the warm safety of Ivan's arms. He really didn't know how he felt about what the young man had told him. There were so many different types of love and he didn't dare assume Ivan meant any particular one of them. It was too dangerous to be wrong. Still, despite the many things to contemplate, he grew tired again and slowly drifted off.
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-O-
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The morning came too early. He woke to Toris knocking on the door. The room was barely lit with morning light, what little there was streaming faintly in from the windows. Why the heck was Toris waking them up so freaking early? Then he remembered: they were leaving for the Far East today. Well, crap.
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Ivan groaned from behind him. "Come in."
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Toris entered, looking at them apologetically. "I'm very sorry, Master. The Emperor insisted you get an early start today." He quickly busied himself with packing bags and setting out clothes for them to change into. "I have a bath ready for you. Your breakfasts are being prepared as we speak."
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Alfred reluctantly sat up and stretched. He was sore, as he had expected he would be. And after such a short sleep added to that he really didn't feel like getting up. He was too tired to even think about all the things he had to do before leaving. Ivan didn't look as if he fared any better. But they got up, regardless of how much neither wished to. Alfred helped Toris gather up the empty alcohol bottles before taking the clothes set out for him and following Ivan to the baths. The majority of their time was spent trying to not fall asleep while they bathed and ate. Ivan barely touched his food, looking ill through most of breakfast. "Are you okay?"
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"Yes. Just…" He set his fork down and leaned back in his seat, apparently done eating. "I shouldn't have drunk so much yesterday. I knew better."
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"Why did you?"
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Ivan shrugged off the question, focusing intently on the practically untouched plate in front of him.
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Naturally. Alfred shook his head and finished his food before they left the dining hall. The Emperor and the Mistresses were waiting by the door to see them off. Katyusha was the only one who looked approachable. The Emperor was smiling, but that was a bad sign. Natalia was glaring directly at Alfred, resentment almost visibly radiating off of her. He could honestly see her killing him in his sleep.
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"Why should he be able to go with you but I cannot?" She grabbed Ivan into a hug, holding him as if she were trying to keep him out of Alfred's reach.
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Ivan didn't answer her, hugging her back briefly before prying himself out of her grip and accepting the offered hug from Katyusha. Once they broke apart the Emperor chuckled and held his arms open as if for a hug. Ivan stiffened and glared at him but he hugged him as well, much to the surprise of everyone else. Once he was released, Ivan quickly grabbed Alfred's wrist and practically dragged him out the doors.
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"What the heck was that? Why'd you hug him?"
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"I don't want to talk about it," Ivan growled out, yanking the carriage door open and nearly tossing Alfred inside. He climbed in after and slammed the door shut, locking it and settling back in the seat to glare out the window.
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Alfred watched him for a moment but quickly turned to his own window as they started moving. The city passed by quietly, only a few people daring to brave the cold weather for whatever reason. He watched as the houses and storefronts turned into snowy fields and forests. There were villages randomly spread out between. After the initial fascination wore off it all started to look the same. Out of boredom he thought back to the previous day and all that had happened. "Ivan?"
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"What?" Ivan asked, sounding far calmer than he had when they left.
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"Is it normal for servants to call their masters and mistresses by nicknames?" Arthur had told him never to be informal with those above him in rank. Which was pretty much everyone.
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"What?" Ivan looked at him in surprise. "Why do you ask?"
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"Because Mattie called Mistress Katyusha Katya. I'm assuming it's a nickname."
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"Katyusha is a nickname as well, you know." Ivan turned in his seat to face him better. "Her given name is Yekaterina. It just doesn't suit her as well as Katyusha. Besides, our mother never liked it much."
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He slowly nodded, shifting in the uncomfortable seat. So he had been informal all along? Well, so had everyone else, so he wasn't going to worry too much about it. "So is Ivan a nickname for something or what?"
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"No."
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"So what's your nickname then?" He tried to think of something short for Ivan. Not an easy thing to do.
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"It doesn't matter. I've outgrown it." Ivan smiled and looked back out his window. At least he wasn't glaring anymore.
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Alfred watched the scenery going by and rested his cheek against the door. He thought back to the party and everything he had seen and heard. Then he remembered Ivan telling him he loved him. He glanced at his companion, wondering if he remembered it or not. "Ivan?"
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"Hmm?"
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"Um, I was wondering about something you said last night…" He shifted in his seat again, hoping he didn't upset Ivan with his question. "You said you loved me. I was wondering what you meant exactly."
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Ivan didn't respond immediately, still staring out the window. Though he didn't look as peaceful as before. Actually, his expression was more stunned panic than anything else. "I said I loved you?"
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"Yes." He waited as patiently as he could, tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves. He feared what the answer might be. Hopefully it was something he could live with. He didn't want to lose Ivan's company. He was a jerk, sure, but he had his moments.
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"I'm never drinking again," Ivan grumbled, resting his forehead in his hand. "What do you mean you wonder what I meant? I would think it was pretty obvious."
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"Well, do you love me like a friend or a brother or—"
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"A friend," Ivan cut him off, sounding as if it should have been obvious. "And I like you, I don't love you."
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"You were the one who said love, so don't go getting snappy with me." He crossed his arms and glared out the window, feeling a bit relieved but mostly irritated. He wasn't his fault Ivan said the wrong word when he was drunk. He should be more careful it that was really the case. He could get people thinking the wrong thing and cause a lot of trouble for nothing. Even though he was aggravated with his companion, he also didn't want to spend the ride in such an uncomfortable atmosphere so he tried to think of something safer to talk about. "How long will it take to get there?"
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"Six days." Ivan settled back in his seat, obviously relieved with the change of subject. "There are five towns along the way that we'll be stopping in."
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He nodded and stared out the window, not really feeling like conversation. But eventually his irritation melted into boredom. There was absolutely nothing to do in the carriage but stare out the window or talk. And he had had enough of staring out the window. "Talk about something."
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"Such as?"
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"I don't know. I'm just bored out of my mind." He flopped back against the red velvet seat and looked up at the gold roof of the carriage. He didn't get enough sleep to think of something himself. But Ivan didn't seem willing to do it either. Jerk. "If you don't think of something I'm going to go crazy and the whole trip will be ruined."
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"If you keep nagging me I'll go crazy." Ivan glared at him but for some inexplicable reason, Alfred felt a smile spreading across his face. Maybe he was already crazy. Ivan's brows furrowed in confusion and he laughed uncertainly. "Why are you smiling?"
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"I have no idea." He huddled into his coat as a draft came through. "Have we really run out of things to talk about?"
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"I thought only old married couples did that." Ivan rested his arm over the back of their seat and propped his feet up on the opposite one. "If you think this is boring imagine going by yourself." He glanced at Alfred then closed his eyes and laid his head back. "We could try taking a nap. I don't know about you, but I'm tired."
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"You look a little sick too. Are you okay?" He moved across the seat and snuggled to Ivan's side for warmth.
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"Bumpy carriages and hangovers don't mix well. I'll be fine by tomorrow."
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He nodded and closed his eyes, curling up to keep warm. Ivan wrapped his arm around Alfred's shoulders and held him closer. As the rocking of the carriage grew more and more distant in his mind, he drifted into a peaceful dreamland. His dream wasn't too bad until he got trampled by neighing horses. He jerked awake to find the afternoon sun shining in his eyes. But it was soon blocked by a building. It continued to peek through the large cracks between shops, periodically blinding him. The sound of horses surrounded them. "Where are we?"
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"It's our first stop." Ivan's reflection shown on the glass when they passed through the shadows of the buildings. He stared out the window wearing his unreadable expression like a mask. The carriage pulled up to a hotel and he immediately unlocked the door and climbed out. He helped Alfred out as well, as he had a little trouble moving about after sitting still so long. After they checked in and got their second-story room set up Alfred looked out the window and watched the people going through the streets.
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"Do you want to go and check out some of the shops? Dinner will not be served for another couple of hours." Ivan peered out the window, keeping mostly behind the curtain. He smiled at Alfred's enthusiastic response and went to his bag, pulling out two warm looking hats. "This is probably too big for you right now but it should still keep you warm." He offered one of them to Alfred before putting the other on his own head. It had flaps that covered his ears and fastened under the chin.
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Alfred put it on and it sunk down on his head, landing on the bridge of his nose with the flaps hanging past his jaw. "It might be a little big." He pushed it back to see better and found Ivan staring at him with a warm, amused smile. "What's so funny?"
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"Nothing, sunflower."
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"You know, I kinda regret telling you I wouldn't call you snowball."
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Hope the chapter was okay. If not, let me know and I'll work on it later :]
