Ch. 12

The station was in a somber mood. Even Henry sat with his face against the back of the couch ignoring his share of the meal. Mike sat at the kitchen table pushing his food around on his plate, his thoughts elsewhere. The crew sat in silence each staring at his own plate, all except Jesse's replacement. He sat cheerfully eating his meal unaware of why he was called in.

"So guys, how's business today?"

"Slow just the way we like it on a holiday." Chet snapped. Stupid rookie, he's actually excited about working Thanksgiving. Man I hope Jess is ok. I can't work with this guy for too much longer. He propped his head on one hand giving a long sigh.

Mike looked across the table at John who also was pushing his food around. "Hey John, can I talk to you in the dorm for a second?"

"Uh, sure."

He followed Mike to the dorm. Mike sat on his bunk put his head in his hands and wondered if he was doing the right thing. Jess needed help. John took a seat on Jesse's bunk across from him leaning forward with his arms on his knees.

"So uh, Mike what's going on?"

"John I'm going to tell you something on the grounds it doesn't leave this room. You can't tell anyone, understand? I made a promise to her."

"Yeah, I won't tell anyone; I promise. It's about Jess isn't it?"

Mike nodded still starting at the floor. "John, Jesse is really depressed, has been for some time. Now she has assured me she is not a threat to herself, but after today I'm not sure I believe her. My training tells me she's passive suicidal. I don't think she fully understands the danger she put herself in by not eating properly. It all boils down to she is struggling with her brother's death. He died while they were on shift together. She blames herself though it's not her fault. It was truly an accident. She honestly wants help but is too ashamed to ask for it."

John continued to gaze at the floor. He'd been to the same class on crisis Mike had. He didn't know Jess divulged such personal information to Mike. He began to wonder if there was something more to their relationship. Mike was awfully interested in her.

"I figured she is depressed. It sounds like survivor's guilt; it's not uncommon among firefighters who have suffered loss. What can I do to help?" he asked with concern filling his soft brown eyes. He thought of Jess as a friend and would do anything to help her.

"I have a plan and need your help. Do you still have that friend who works at the movie studio?"

John shot him a puzzled look. "Yeah Wally, he's a stunt coordinator. How does he fit in?"

"I need to recreate Brandon's accident."

E!

Jesse lay in a hospital bed replaying the day's events. Dr. Early thought it would be best to keep her at least overnight to get her fluids back up and run some tests. She hated hospitals. Between a dislocated shoulder requiring surgery, burns on her abdomen that wouldn't heal, and pneumonia she spent close to four months in one after Brandon's death. She vowed to never be in one again. Of course she had no one to blame but herself for being here. If she only done what she'd promised Mike, she would be at the station instead of lying alone in a hospital room.

Wow who would have thought that the day would go downhill after over sleeping?

However she was in debt to John; he lied to Dr. Early by saying she was recovering from a stomach virus. Why would he do that after I've been so rude to him? He hardly said anything in the ambulance; he just kept checking her vitals and adjusting the drip on her IV. He did tell her that he would cover for her on the grounds that she would not let this happen again. The one time Jesse had looked at him she saw nothing but worry and concern. Tears filled her eyes as she realized that the guys really did care about her even though she had given them no reason to.

Light entered her dimly lit room as a nurse entered carrying a cafeteria tray. She gave Jesse a warm smile as she set the tray on the table.

"Now Hon, I realize being stuck here on Thanksgiving is a real downer but don't cry. We will have you better in no time and you can spend the weekend with your family. Ok? I'm Suzanne; I will be your night nurse. Now I heard you had that nasty stomach virus so I brought you something easy on your stomach." Suzanne checked the IV and heart monitor. "I see you almost need another bag. I'll bring it next visit."

Jesse chuckled as she saw some chicken broth and bright green Jell-O. She ate enough of that to float a ship the last time. "Could I have something with a little more sustenance? I haven't been sick in a while."

The young nurse placed her hands on her wide hips as she gave Jess a stern look. "Dr. Early said this was it, but if you can keep this down I will bring a sandwich. It will be our secret. Eat this first and I will be back to check you in an hour. Ok?"

"Yes, ma'am." Jesse replied sadly as she stuck her spoon in the Jell-O. She didn't feel hungry but she knew to leave she had to eat everything they gave her.

E!

Down the hall in a small office Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early were is disagreement. Joe slammed his fist on the desk and leaned toward Kel.

"Kel, I'm telling you there's more to it than just a stomach virus. She's underweight and didn't get that way from a two-day virus."

"What do you want me to do, Joe? Go in and demand she tell us what's really going on? That will get us nowhere. I called her previous physician and he said she has always been small. He's sending her file. It will be here first thing in the morning." He answered leaning back in his chair.

"There's a difference between small and underweight, Kel." Joe's eyes bore into the doctor in front of him.

"Well what did her labs say?"

"All clear no sign of infection. Her blood count is good but it did show low potassium and iron. I don't like it; there is something else going on. She's too despondent. I intend to find out what it is."

E!

Mike lay awake in his bunk hoping the tones would sound. He needed something to keep his mind off Jesse. Giving a sigh he got up and went to the kitchen. Captain Stanley was sitting at the table with the policy manual in front of him. He was studying it intently with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Can't sleep pal?" He asked without looking up.

"No, Cap. I thought a glass of milk would help. What are you up to?"

Cap leaned back in his chair.

"I'm trying to figure out the best way to help Jesse. After today I can't ignore it any longer. I believe she's a threat to herself. I've noticed that she has lost weight, but I chose to ignore it. It's my fault Mike; I'm responsible for the welfare of the crew. I let her fall through the cracks. I just don't want to mess up her career, pal. The only option the department gives will do exactly that. If I report her she will be lucky to stay on as a lineman when they are finished. Surely someone noticed she wasn't ready for active duty at her previous assignment. I want to know who released her."

Mike sat across the table from his Captain feeling he was responsible too. After all he is second in command. It's his job to bring to Cap's attention anything he thought might harm the crew's integrity. Both men looked up as they heard footsteps entering the doorway.

"Uh sorry I didn't realize you two were up."

John entered the kitchen grabbed a glass and sat by Mike at the table. He poured himself some milk. Soon after John had entered Chet and Roy also joined them at the table. Cap looked at his team.

"Well can't anyone sleep?"

"Ben is, he's sawing logs in the dorm." Chet snickered. He laid his head back with mouth open, closed his eyes and snored loudly. The crew chuckled. John leaned forward and looked intently at Cap.

"You're reporting her?"

"I have to, John. It's my job as much as I don't want to. She's a threat to herself and the crew."

John tapped two fingers on his chest. "Well from what I understand, Jesse has been sick with a stomach virus. She came in today because she didn't want to ruin anyone's Thanksgiving. She didn't take in account the extra fluid loss."

Captain Stanley looked around the table. Giving a sigh he stood. "So you are all in agreement?"

Everyone's head nodded as they gave a unanimous "Yes."

Cap placed his hands on his hips, looking at the floor he chuckled. His crew has always shown loyalty to one another even if one member really didn't deserve it.

E!

It was around four in the morning when Suzanne heard screaming coming from Jesse's room. Dropping the metal chart on the counter she ran. Upon entry to the room she saw Jesse tossing wildly in her bed screaming.

"No….not leaving. No….Brandon hang on!"

Afraid she would pull her IV Suzanne tried to gently hold her to the bed. Jess fought hard against the hands that held her. "Jesse, sweetheart wake up, come on open your eyes."

"NO! Please Brandon….got to pull…" she yelled continuing to thrash wildly.

"Jesse! Jess calm down; you'll pull your IV." Suzanne coaxed trying to keep a gentle but firm grip.

Jesse pulled hard against the hands holding her and Suzanne lost her grip. Thrashing around the confines of the hospital bed she pulled her IV. As dark red blood flowed on the sheets Jesse bolted upright and yelled, "NNNNOOOO!"

She fell back against the bed eyes wide with fear and trembled uncontrollably. Suzanne tried to calm her by running her fingers through Jesse's hair and whispering,"Shhh. It's ok." She checked the IV thankful that the entire catheter had come out.

The door opened quickly and Dr. Early rushed in.

"Nurse, what happened? I was doing my rounds and heard screaming."

"She had a nightmare and pulled her IV. Don't worry the catheter came out, no cut down necessary. I will get a new one established."

Dr. Early approached the bed checking the heart monitor and her arm where the IV had been. Jesse was still breathing heavily her eyes wide, the monitor was beeping quickly. He gave a stern look.

"Jesse are you ok?"

"F-f-fine. J-j-just a b-b-b-bad dream." She stuttered.

"Nurse, give her 10 mg diazepam after you get that IV reestablished."

Jesse shook her head. "N-no d-d-don't need i-it. I'm ok; j-just give me a second."

"It will help you relax and you need the rest. I will be back around breakfast there are some things I'd like to discuss. Nurse, go ahead with the diazepam."

E!

After his relief arrived Mike headed to Rampart to check on Jesse. He thought of the plan formed last night. Mike filled John in on the plan he came up with. They agreed to meet Saturday at the training field to test his theory. Cap wasn't too thrilled about not getting her help from headquarters, but gave his permission to carry it out. He told them that if she didn't show signs of improvement in a week he would finish his report.

Dixie greeted him with a smile as he approached her desk. She knew why he came; John had filled her in on his suspicions. "So Mike what brings you down here? We normally don't see a firefighter specialist unless he's on a stretcher."

"Well Nurse" he teased. "I'm here to see Jesse. John brought her in yesterday. I wanted to make sure she was ok and bring her some real food."

She gave him an innocent smile. John's right, he's in love. She pretended to check a chart. "Now Mike our food isn't that bad, but I'm sure she will be glad to see you. I believe Dr. Early has her in room 121. That's down the hall and to the right."

He gave her a warm smile before heading down the hall. "Thanks Dix!"

Her eyes followed him down the hall. "Mmmhmm. That boy's got it bad, I can see it in his eyes", she sighed.

"Who's got what bad, Dix?" Kel asked as he placed a chart on the rack.

"Oh, nobody." She innocently replied as she placed the metal chart back in the rack.

E!

Mike knocked on her door as he opened it. Jesse lay asleep with the monitor slowly beeping. He didn't want to wake her so he quietly sat in the chair beside her and watched her gentle rhythmic breathing. Damn she's cute even when sleeping. He felt they had grown closer over the past few weeks, and his feelings for her grew. He cared deeply for her and hoped that she would be ok.

As the diazepam wore off Jesse sensed someone in the room with her. Damn not the nurse again. How many times does she need to check me? She stirred as she felt someone gently move her hair. A familiar and comforting scent filled her nose. It reminded her of Michael.

He can't be here!

"Hey glad you decided to wake up" came a soft voice, his voice.

She slowly opened her eyes; she was still groggy from the medication. Mike was leaning toward her on one arm; the other hand was gently moving the bangs from her face. She tried hard to cover the fact she was enjoying his touch. Mike smiled. I thought you'd enjoy that. He turned and reached for a bag on the table.

"I brought you breakfast; you're probably tired of chicken broth and Jell-O. They seem to think that's the cure for everything. What you need is something hearty so I cooked up something at the station. Dwyer was nice enough to swing by the store on his way in."

"The nurse did sneak me a sandwich last night."

"Ooohh a sandwich that will put weight on you", he teased as he pulled out two large plates and moved the table over her bed. He set one of them in front of her and pulled the foil off. She stared in amazement at some scrambled eggs, two sausage links, three pieces of bacon and biscuits with gravy.

"Michael, thank you, but there is no way I can eat all of this!"

"Sure you can. Don't think about it, just eat." He handed her a fork. Jesse sat quietly for a moment twirling the fork in her fingers.

"Michael, can I ask you a question and you not get upset or anything?"

"Babe, you can ask whatever you want. Depending on the question I may not give an answer though." He pointed his fork at her teasingly. "You'd better eat before it gets cold. I'd hate for all my hard work to go to waste."

She ate in silence debating on whether to ask her question. Wow for a guy he cooks pretty good, good-looking and a great cook. If he was mine I'd keep him. She set down the fork, took a long deep breath and asked the question that was on her mind since they became friends.

"Why are you doing this, helping me?"

He placed his fork beside his plate. "I want to see the real Jesse the one who smiles and laughs, not the one that hides from everyone. I have a feeling you're a fun girl once you open up. Plus I like you."

"As a friend…" She stated softly.

"No Jess I like you. I think you're cute; I was serious when I said I wanted to take you on a date. I want you to be mine."

"Michael, Cap would never approve. I'm sure it breaks a rule somewhere." She looked down at her plate and pushed the remnants of her breakfast with her fork.

He reached out and gently caressed her cheek. "Yeah maybe, I'm willing to risk it. You know I don't let everyone call me Michael, but I like it when you do."

Leaning toward her he lifted her face with his index finger; pressing his lips against hers he gave her a tender but reserved kiss. He didn't want to come across as aggressive. The monitor beeped faster as Jesse's pulse quickened causing him to smile.

You can't hide it this time Jesse. I know you feel the same way. I've seen the way you look at me.

She felt his warm breath on her neck as he whispered in her ear, "Who says Cap has to know?"