Chapter 11: Be brave. Be strong. Live.
"Uh… Christina?" Four starts hesitantly. The teen paces the kitchen not realizing or maybe not caring for the second person in the room. She takes long strides left, then right, pauses midway murmuring to herself- placating then continues. Four watches as Christina runs her hands through her hair tugging at it angrily her pace never relenting, face morphing between anger, and fear, and sadness he sees when she loses her temper with herself and isn't surprised when she stops walking and kicks the wall. Hard. He knows frustration all too well.
"Christina." He repeats more firmly.
She pauses and glances at Four before placing the palms of her hands on either side of her head on the wall nearest to her. "I heard you the first time." She says eventually, leaning her head against the cool concrete. "I want to be alone."
"No, you don't." He said in a very matter of fact voice. "You're not that type."
"You don't know me." She grits. "I just need a moment t- to-"
"Not cry…"
With obvious reluctance the raven finally looks at him properly her eyes shining with unshed tears, her face streaked with those she couldn't keep in. "I don't want to cry he doesn't deserve to know he can still do that to me." She whispers crestfallen.
"He's not here."
"It doesn't matter." She says twisting her body to face him and realizing he's closer than she thought, and strangely finding comfort in it. "I'm sorry I wasn't there." Christina blinks taken aback but quickly composing herself. "It wasn't your fault." He shakes his head. "I should have been there."
"There's nothing you could've done. Like the book said he was- is one of the leader."
"Still I-"
"What do you want?" It comes out harsher than intended but she doesn't apologize.
"It was terrible wasn't it? That experience. You're probably experiencing triggers, fears, nightmares…" She visibly flinches at the words, and her left hand runs up her right gripping at her elbow. "How'd you know?" She doesn't press further when he doesn't answer. "It's OK most of the time but then random things like the water turning on unexpectedly gives me the jumps." She admits.
"It'll get better."
She nods her eyes trained on the floor. "Will, Tris, Uriah and them they're great friends supportive but, I don't want to t- talk about this with them. I'm fearless, honest Christina, right?"
"That's OK too. When you're ready you will."
"I will." She confirms forcing herself to look him in the eyes. "Thank you."
His gaze falls to the floor. "You coming back now?"
"Just gonna grab a drink. Though, what I really think would help is shooting at a target with Eric's face on it."
He puffs a laugh then backtracks out the room. Christina watches for a long time after he's gone.
Waiting.
Counting.
115, 116, 118, 119, 120…
After 2 minutes pass and no one else comes in she presses her back to the wall, and slides to the floor. Christina slowly brings her knees up to her chin and clumps the edges of her sleeves in her hands. Then presses them to her ears rocking on the heels of her feet. Trying desperately to block the rapid water and gushing wave sounds from her buzzing head. "Go away."
It's been a while now and the tension is still plausible. After a long stretch of silence and Will emerges from the bathroom the room settled into a hushed discussion.
"Hey Peter?" Alexandra hums her voice forcibly nonchalant. Said boy is leaned against the wall next to the window away from the rest of the group 'stretching his legs'. The girl stood a good distance away tentatively switching between watching him and the floor.
"What?" He doesn't move but sighs eyes closed, head leaned back.
"Do I irritate you?"
"Yes." He says simply.
"Do I infuriate you?"
"Obviously."
She pouts and glances briefly down at her fidgeting hands before looking back up at him. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" She watches him sigh again, an annoyed little sigh but then he peaks an eye open at her analysing her nervous form. He pauses long enough that Alexandra thinks it's a dismissal and turns to leave. "I don't know yet."
Alexandra double- takes staring at him with surprise which quickly switches to suspicion her eyes narrowing in search of amusement or cruelty. "Really?"
"Go away your bothering me." He says. "I'm stretching my legs remember, new found freedom and all." Unexpectedly she smiles widely at him and nods once, leaving to join the rest of the group stepping in mid- sentence.
"Right?" Will asks.
"She never really talked about it, but we should have assumed. It was a terrifying experience just to watch and we never sat down to talk about it." Tris says unbeknownst to Alexandra that it's her first time speaking since Christina's left the room. The room is silent absorbing her words.
"We did." Will nods at his own words. "Once, it was short sometime after we started with the fear serum. She didn't want to be reminded about it so we cut it short." Theirs a murmur of understanding then silence again, but no one no matter how much they strain can hear Christina and Four in the kitchen.
"Eric's an ass." Marlene declares. None of the Abnegation try to reprimand her Susan going as far as to nod.
"What do we do no-" Lynns' words are cut off sharply at the emergence of Four, the hope turns to a flooding disappointment when they all see he's alone. Will bolts for the door but Four quickly stops him pressing his hand to the other's chest shaking his head firmly, "She really wants to be alone."
Will's jaw locks. "You suddenly know her so well after 10 minutes with her."
"No, but I know how to listen when someone tells me something." Will's eyes dart longingly at the door but he walks back to his seat slugging into his chair and groaning. "What do we do now?" he grunts finishing Lynn's question.
"We wait…" Four offers sitting back next to Tris who greets him with a forced smile.
"Well there's a few rooms still to explore and I'll go get food since the kitchen is occupied."
"Not me?" Alexandra eyes Violet who shakes her head.
The other stands stretching her arms and shoots her friend a look she knows all too well. Violet's never been one for comforting or deep talks she's a reserved person who tries to do her job without getting emotionally compromised.
"OK, I'll…." Alexandra trails off her eyes immediately finding Peter. "I'll supervise." She says predatorily and lets her eyes trail the rest of the room their sombre faces making her heart clench. I'll protect and comfort.
After Violet's gone, minutes pass, and Tris finally manages to pull Will out of his chair to do recreational things with Uriah, Will and Lynn. Alexandra takes Susan to the bathroom to wash her face and the Abnegation doesn't cry again. Four sits with the rest of the room with Tori, and Zeke explaining to the remainder in the room of Dauntless and its values.
"What Eric did was terrible and I'd be lying if I said things similar to that haven't happened before."
"Why?" Caleb asks.
"It started as tests in strength and bravery but it's changed- everything's changed recently."
The blonde traces her left hand with her right which had been clasped in Christina's merely an hour ago. Funny how everything happens so fast in here. "But why didn't anyone do anything? The leaders?" Cara asks.
"Corruption."
"Ugh, what does it matter anyway?" Tori says. Raised eyebrows and surprise meet her statement and for a few seconds she doesn't say anything more.
"This is a safe place," Alexandra intervenes. "Go ahead Tori."
"All the factions are corrupt in some way or another. What Eric did was cruel but all factions have something like that. Don't condemn us because our dirty laundry is being aired."
"No is condemning you, any of you." Natalie defends. "We cannot prevent it from happening." Alexandra feels the impending silence as the conversation continues and when the others come back, she knows they need to continue. "OK, time to get back to it."
"What about-"
"Christina?" She finishes for Will louder than necessary. The girl smiles at her own cleverness putting her index finger to her lips for the room to go silent. She saunters over to the kitchen door. "I'll fetch Christina!"
Christina jerks at the sudden call of her name. I've been here way too long. She takes a deep, steely breath and downs the rest of the soda discarding the tin in the bin with the other 3 before striding out the kitchen door.
I'm Dauntless.
"No one needs to get me." She says raising her hands to shield against comfort. "I'm fine. I'm here."
She flushes when all eyes fall on her and Will immediately tries to wrap her in his arms. She quickly detangles herself chuckling coolly at his worried expression. "I'm fine Will, really, I promise." Her eyes warily take in the worried expressions and sympathy and she has to resist rolling her eyes. This is my fault, for blubbering like an idiot in front of them anyway. I mean, I like attention, but for the right reasons- my reasons.
Alexandra, Peter and Four's regard her with the same neutral expression, Christina can see the pride in the older/younger woman's face. "Ready to get back in to it?" Alexandra asks, but not unkindly.
"Absolutely."
"Violet should be back any second." Alexandra starts then realises nobody's listening to her, instead watching Will as he steers Christina to the couch flustering over the uncomfortable girl. Alexandra pouts nodding to herself. "OK, I'll just talk to myself then…" She trails off. "Completely disregarded." Once Violet returns the group shares a meal of pita bread, with different sauces and cut meat slices. "This stuff you guys bring is amaze-balls." Uriah declares running the bread around the edge of the plate.
"Yeah, the variety is great." Cara says breaking chunks of her bread and dipping it in various sauces before eating it.
"You think we could eat and read I don't think anyone feels like making anymore awkward, polite conversation. Or do you all want to move on to talking about how great the food is." When eyes downcast and someone coughs, Cara nods. "Thought so." She continues wiping her hands with a napkin.
"We got the gist of it meats, sauces, bread and previous times before the world wasted away." She says crumpling the tissue paper. "I can read I haven't yet." Will hands her the discarded book.
"Take the evil thing." He says wrapping Christina in his arm again and letting her feed him. Cara looks to Violet and Alexandra who individually nod and shrug.
CHAPTER TEN
THAT NIGHT I dream that Christina hangs from the railing again, by her toes this time, and someone shouts that only someone who is Divergent can help her. So I run forward to pull her up, but someone shoves me over the edge, and I wake before I hit the rocks.
"Jeez-us." Christina yelps. "You'd think I'd be the traumatized one."
Sweat-soaked and shaky from the dream, I walk to the girls' bathroom to shower and change. When I come back, the word "Stiff" is spray-painted across my mattress in red. The word is written smaller along the bed frame, and again on my pillow. I look around, my heart pounding with anger.
"Hold me tighter." She whispers. "What?" Will whispers lowering his head so his ear is next her mouth. "Hold me tighter," Christina repeats. "Or I might try to kill Peter." She feels the anger she left in the kitchen and in the last chapter rise again.
"Yeah," Will says feeling her shaking. "I won't let go." He watches her questionably as she eats.
Peter stands behind me, whistling as he fluffs his pillow. It's hard to believe I could hate someone who looks so kind.
"I'm flattered." Peter hums his hand to his chest in mock gratitude. "A compliment from the almighty Divergent."
—his eyebrows turn upward naturally, and he has a wide, white smile. "Nice decorations," he says.
"Did I do something to you that I'm unaware of?" I demand. I grab the corner of a sheet and yank it away from the mattress. "I don't know if you've noticed, but we are in the same faction now."
"I don't know what you're referring to," he says lightly. Then he glances at me. "And you and I will never be in the same faction."
Tris resists making a comment. I'm not that petty, am I? No.
I shake my head as I remove my pillowcase from the pillow. Don't get angry. He wants to get a rise out of me; he won't. But every time he fluffs his pillow, I think about punching him in the gut.
"I'd love to see you try. Again."
Al walks in, and I don't even have to ask him to help me; he just walks over and strips bedding with me. I will have to scrub the bed frame later. Al carries the stack of sheets to the trash can and together we walk toward the training room.
Tris suddenly feels her stomach twist. He was once a really good friend, what happened to you Al.
"Ignore him," Al says. "He's an idiot, and if you don't get angry, he'll stop eventually."
"Ha." Tris snorts lowly. "Wish we made a bet that day."
"Yeah." I touch my cheeks. They are still warm with an angry blush. I try to distract myself. "Did you talk to Will?" I ask quietly. "After…you know."
"Yeah. He's fine. He isn't angry." Al sighs. "Now I'll always be remembered as the first guy who knocked someone out cold."
"That's a pretty good way of being remembered if you ask me." Will argues snorting. "Considering I'm now remembered as the first guy who got knocked out, I mean."
"There are worse ways to be remembered.
"Tell him Tris." Will says. "Tell him exactly what I just said."
At least they won't antagonize you."
"There are better ways too." He nudges me with his elbow, smiling. "First jumper."
"You didn't say what I told you to say Tris."
"I'm so sorry Will, won't happen again."
"That's better."
Maybe I was the first jumper, but I suspect that's where my Dauntless fame begins and ends.
A low chuckle vibrates through the room. Rii-iight.
I clear my throat. "One of you had to get knocked out, you know. If it hadn't been him, it would have been you."
"Still, I don't want to do it again." Al shakes his head, too many times, too fast. He sniffs. "I really don't." We reach the door to the training room and I say, "But you have to."
He has a kind face. Maybe he is too kind for Dauntless.
"Maybe not." Christina murmurs sourly.
I look at the chalkboard when I walk in. I didn't have to fight yesterday, but today I definitely will. When I see my name, I stop in the middle of the step.
My opponent is Peter.
Theirs a collective gasp.
"Holy shit!" Marlene exclaims. "Fuck this!"
"Language."
"Sorry Mr Prior dude, but your daughter is about to get her ass- um, butt kicked."
"What?"
"You saw Peter go crazy, mad when we found out Tris's virginness- um, Die virgin, her being Divergent I mean. We had to use 3 guys cause' he's psycho. All offence meant btw Peter! Imagine him being allowed to beat Tris up, anyone up. He goes ballistic, I mean literally."
Peter snorts when everyone turns to him. "Eric's suddenly gone and now I'm the main target for everyone's' glares." He shrugs rolling his eyes. "Real process guys. This is a great learning experience."
"Are you holding me tight enough Will?" The raven whispers. "I sure hope so."
"Oh no," says Christina, who shuffles in behind us. Her face is bruised, and she looks like she is trying not to limp.
"It was a thought out plan of trying not to limp." Christina declares. Tris nods chewing with a contemplative look on her face. "I think that was very Dauntless, friend."
When she sees the board, she crumples the muffin wrapper she is holding into her fist. "Are they serious? They're really going to make you fight him?" Peter is almost a foot taller than I am, and yesterday, he beat Drew in less than five minutes. Today Drew's face is more black-and-blue than flesh-toned.
"Shit!" Tori grunts.
"Double shit." Uriah adds groaning. Tris could literally feel the worry oozing from everyone around her though her parents were the most potent.
"Maybe you can just take a few hits and pretend to go unconscious," suggests Al. "No one would blame you."
"Yeah," I say. "Maybe."
"No one would blame you Tris." Caleb agrees. "Just fall, and pretend to go unconscious after a solid hit to the head." He says not looking at Tris but at the book.
I stare at my name on the board. My cheeks feel hot. Al and Christina are just trying to help, but the fact that they don't believe, not even in a tiny corner of their minds, that I have a chance against Peter bothers me.
"Gosh, Tris, don't take it so personally." Christina boos. "We were trying to be comforting, I'd feel a hell of a lot scared too if this was back then." Her breathe is heavy and her face suddenly unbearably hot.
When Christina realises no one's reading the raven looks away from her best friend and takes in everyone's stunned faces. "Miss Christina?" Joanna interrupts. "Do you need another minute?"
"Yeah," Will says loosening his arms and turning her halfway to face him. "Are you OK, really? You said you were fine."
"Sorry, it's just- I'm fine. I am." Christina sighs and turns to Tris. "Sorry Tris."
"Didn't hold it against you Chris. I was just feeling pathetic that no one thought I had a chance."
"Did you?" Caleb asks. "No." Tris chuckles then sends her friend a wink to say she knows it's Christina giving her Tough Love and not being mean.
I stand at the side of the room, half listening to Al and Christina's chatter, and watch Molly fight Edward. He's much faster than she is, so I'm sure Molly will not win today.
As the fight goes on and my irritation fades, I start to get nervous.
"We're both irritated." Tris conveys to her friend smiling.
Four told us yesterday to exploit our opponent's weaknesses, and aside from his utter lack of likable qualities, Peter doesn't have any. He's tall enough to be strong but not so big that he's slow;
Alexandra nods in tune with Cara's words her elbow propped up on the edge of her chair letting the palm of her hand support her cheek. Leaning forward she gazes dazedly at Peter who pays no attention to her listening to his description with obvious content.
he has an eye for other people's soft spots; he's vicious and won't show me any mercy.
"Rrr." Alexandra purrs. "Oh yeah he is." That catches Peter's attention. "Did you just purr?" He turns to her all traces of content replaced with curious disbelieve.
"What?" She jumps in surprise her elbow slipping resulting in her jaw connecting with the arm chair. "Oomph! No- I didn't." She says rubbing her chin to keep from the impending couch burn. "No, that was my stomach probably."
He gestures to the unfinished plate in her lap. "You're currently eating."
"Shush, we're missing the story." She turns away coy.
I would like to say that he underestimates me, but that would be a lie. I am as unskilled as he suspects.
Peter laughs almost turning over in his seat with laughter. "That's pathetic."
"We all know that isn't true anymore Peter."
"Wanna bet?"
"I'll take that bet." Christina says evenly placing hers and Will's plate on the table and slowing sitting back down. "You and me, Tris, against Peter. Just like Eric and Peter against you we'll take him on."
"I don't think that's fair." Peter shakes his head, then smirks. "For you at least."
Maybe Al is right, and I should just take a few hits and pretend to be unconscious.
Peter whistles low. "Sad little Stiff."
"Shut up Peter." Lynn snaps. "You're irritating everyone which is saying something considering we have Uriah and Marlene all day."
"Yeah." Uriah and Marlene chant. "Wait, what?" They add taking in the last part. "Hey!"
"And Alexandra."
"Hey!" The woman shouts. "Why am I involved?"
But I can't afford not to try.
"Perseverance." Natalie says firmly though her hearts hammering against her chest, and it takes all her will power not to ask Cara to skip to the end of the fight. "That's a good job, sweetie."
I can't be ranked last. By the time Molly peels herself off the ground,
"Peels herself off the ground!" Susan squeaks. "Exaggeration, I'm exaggerating." Tris raises her hands in defence. "Or I might not be…"
looking only half-conscious thanks to Edward, my heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my fingertips. I can't remember how to stand. I can't remember how to punch.
Or breathe, or speak, I'm pretty sure I was freaking shaking to the bone.
I walk to the centre of the arena and my guts writhe as Peter comes toward me, taller than I remembered, arm muscles standing at attention.
"Arm muscles" Alexandra gulps. "That's nice." She murmurs.
He smiles at me. I wonder if throwing up on him will do me any good.
Uriah tries to remain serious but starts laughing. "I'm sorry Tris, but this is too funny."
"Shut up man, she's nervous." Marlene adds.
I doubt it.
"You okay there, Stiff?" he says. "You look like you're about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry."
Cara sighs. "This is such idiotic taunting. What does this accomplish for you?"
"I don't know it's pretty reassuring on the soul." She rolls her eyes to his response.
Over Peter's shoulder, I see four standing by the door with his arms folded. His mouth is puckered, like he just swallowed something sour.
"The whole situation probably." Uriah says serious again. "Yeah," Zeke nods. "We all know Four hates that junk."
Next to him is Eric, who taps his foot faster than my heartbeat. One second Peter and I are standing there, staring at each other, and the next Peter's hands are up by his face, his elbows bent. His knees are bent too, like he's ready to spring.
"Shit," Tori flinches. "Like a predator about to attack its prey."
"Should we just give up on reprimanding you all on your language?" Joanna asks. "This is getting ridiculous."
"Come on, Stiff," he says, his eyes glinting. "Just one little tear. Maybe some begging."
The thought of begging Peter for mercy makes me taste bile, and on an impulse, I kick him in the side.
Theirs a chorus of yells and cheers. "Go Tris!" Uriah yells the loudest.
"That was most probably not the best idea." Joanna says cutting the cheers short.
Or I would have kicked him in the side, if he hadn't caught my foot and yanked it forward, knocking me off-balance. My back smacks into the floor, and I pull my foot free, scrambling to my feet.
"Or JJ was right!" Uriah yells again.
"No."
"What?"
"I'd appreciate if you did not call me JJ." Joanna says and leans forward in her seat, eyeing Uriah forebodingly. "In fact you, Mr Uriah may call me Miss Joanna or ma'am."
"Yes lady- ma'am."
"Good progress."
I have to stay on my feet so he can't kick me in the head. That's the only thing I can think about. "Stop playing with her," snaps Eric. "I don't have all day."
"Man, now I know how Will felt when he had to fight Al." Tris declares. "Nobody on my side at all. Everyone thinks I'm going to get my butt kicked."
Peter's mischievous look disappears.
Cara pauses. Whether it's for dramatic effect or not no one questions, but simultaneously everyone with plates left either places them on the ground or on the table. Cara tries to block the words significance to her mind. Merely a story and words on paper she tells herself.
His arm twitches and pain stabs my jaw and spreads across my face, making my vision go black at the edges and my ears ring. I blink and lurch to the side as the room dips and sways. I don't remember his fist coming at me.
"Shit." Caleb hisses so lowly no one hears.
I am too off-balance to do anything but move away from him, as far as the arena will allow. He darts in front of me and kicks me hard in the stomach. His foot forces the air from my lungs and it hurts, hurts so badly I can't breathe, or maybe that's because of the kick, I don't know, I just fall.
Others follow her movements as if experiencing her pain as it happens.
On your feet is the only thought in my mind. I push myself up, but Peter is already there. He grabs my hair with one hand and punches me in the nose with the other. This pain is different, less like a stab and more like a crackle, crackling in my brain, spotting my vision with different colours, blue, green, red. I try to shove him off, my hands slapping at his arms, and he punches me again, this time in the ribs. My face is wet. Bloody nose. More red, I guess, but I'm too dizzy to look down.
Peter shines with pride. Violet notes watching as nothing but content is displayed on his face as the fight description continues. Oh Alexandra, why him? Nice girls always fall for the bad guys.
He shoves me and I fall again, scraping my hands on the ground, blinking, sluggish and slow and hot. I cough and drag myself to my feet. I really should be lying down if the room is spinning this fast. And Peter spins around me; I am the centre of a spinning planet, the only thing staying still. Something hits me from the side and I almost fall over again.
On my feet on my feet. I see a solid mass in front of me, a body. I punch as hard as I can, and my fist hits something soft. Peter barely groans, and smacks my ear with the flat of his palm, laughing under his breath.
"Ugh! I'm done!" Christina yells. "Will, let me the go!" The raven wrenches herself out of her boyfriend's lock. "I'm so tired of your shit Peter! Since we were kids, now in initiation, no way am I letting you ruin mine and friends' lives forever."
Christina practically leaps across the room and tackles him in his chair sending it falling back.
"Christina!" Will yells.
Her butt sits on his stomach and she lands punch, after punch to Peter's face. "You're sadistic, masochistic and cruel. What the hell has anyone ever done to you? Huh!"
Peter tries to twist her over so he's on top but the Christina's not having it. Quickly getting to her feet she stomps him in the gut. "You and Eric are cut from the same cloth, you ass."
"Whoa, Christina!" Uriah says and in a flurry the Dauntless all get up to grab the girl. Christina pulls her leg back ready to kick him in the face when her body's wrapped in a strong hold and ripped away. She doesn't relent though kicking at the air.
"Let me go! Come on, Peter one on one! Dauntless fight." She doesn't register the person holding her up she only fights against their iron grip. Peter springs to his feet.
"I'm down, come at me Candour!" Peter yells back. "Let her go seriously, let's settle this Dauntless style." Christina blinks up in surprise at who suddenly let's her go. Four. Will is standing next to him panting and clutching his arm.
The rest of the Dauntless start backing off from the two.
"What are you doing?" Cara yells clutching the book like a life jacket on a sinking ship. "Stop them."
"We can't," Four says panting slightly. "Its Dauntless rules if they want to fight we let them resolve it that way."
"That's ridiculous." Marcus says stepping between the two teens who look ready to jump each other. "We're not in Dauntless, and there's no arena here."
"Actually down the hall is a nice traini-" Uriah stops short after a sturdy look from Joanna. "I agree." She says coming forward. "This is no way to resolve conflict, I think you both need to take a break from each other." Andrew nods. "While we've all been here I think you two haven't spent a chapter where you haven't either insulted each other or exchanged bad looks."
"Alexandra," Peter bites. "You want to jump in here at any point." The auburn looks up. She and Violet haven't moved from their seats. "You obviously don't care about anything we," She gestures to her and Violet. "Have to say so do whatever you want."
Christina lowers her raised fist bewildered. "Seriously?" Violet chips at her nails her face portraying complete ease. "Seriously, we don't care."
Everyone turns to the two who ignore the group's confused stares. "What do you want to eat tonight?" Alexandra asks her friend braiding a loose piece of hair hanging in front of her face. "I feel like sushi."
"I don't think they're ready for that."
Peter crosses his arms, "Su- what? What?"
"Yeah, what's going on?" Cara questions.
Violet's eyes harden and Alexandra can sense she's about to blow her lid. She quickly busies herself with her hair again.
"What's happening Cara? Oh, you want to know what's happening. What the hell is happening is what I should be asking!" Theirs a large collective step back from the group, some jumping in shock at Violet's anger.
"We brought you here for one reason to save that girl's life." She gestures to Tris who stands next to Will. "Not for any of your personal reasons." Looking now at Peter and Christina.
At this Christina blanches. "But-"
"No buts. I know your story with Peter, Christina. He bullied you and practically all the other Canter your age. He's an ass the majority of the time, and picked you and your group personally because of his own personal vendetta.
"There's a lot going on with you but everyone else has problems too. You're Dauntless and I know you guys resolve your problems with fists and junk but this isn't the time or place for any of that.
"Tris. That's why you're here- all of you." Violet's eyes connect with everyone in the room. "You want to talk, talk, talk until you've ran out of topics and your tongue is like sandpaper but one more fist gets raised in this room." She pauses lowering her head so her bangs hang over her eyes. "I will personally drag you to a torture chamber. No more crap."
Alexandra exhales loudly stretching her arms, "Damn that felt good to get out. Am I right?" Violet smiles at her friend chuckling lightly before turning to the rest of the group her eyes quickly narrowing to a glare. "You can all train in the perfectly good training room like Uriah said, theirs an arena for training and all. It's to let off steam, stay in shape I don't care. Though Peter and Christina no way in hell do I ever see you two together. It's for training purposes only, you'll have friendly spars with anyone else but each other."
She waits for each Dauntless to nod. "What are you all waiting for? Sit down."
Alexandra stands quickly calling Natalie, Andrew, Marcus and Joanna to a corner while everyone slowly walks back to their seats. "I want to thank all 4 of you for your continuous maturity when facing this group. You're surrounded by teenager full of adrenaline, emotions, tempers, testosterone and hormones. We really appreciate your patience and contribution."
"Of course," Natalie beams. "it's our job as elders to try and help them in the right path."
Joanna shakes her head. "I haven't encountered such teens in such a long time." She says adjusting her shawl which has slipped from her shoulder. "I have some very nice bread back at Amity that can help them in calming down a bit if that will help."
Marcus gives her a raised eyebrow. "I don't think we need any of that here."
"Agreed." Andrew chuckles. "But we're glad to help." Alexandra grins. "Thanks you can sit now." Once the adults sit down Christina stands. "I'd just like to apologise." She starts. "Just to clarify I'm sorry for causing such a fuss not hitting Peter a couple of times. Maybe some people will learn to stay away from other people now-"
"Christina." Violet warns.
"I was just angry and I forgot that I'm here to save my best friend." Tris crosses her arm and gives her friend a thumbs up. "I'm completely cool with what you did."
Peter grunts pressing his hand to his swelling eye and cheek. "I for one would just like to finish this chapter." Cara says dusting off invisible dust from the book.
I hear ringing and try to blink some of the black patches out of my eyes; how did something get in my eye? Out of my peripheral vision, I see Four shove the door open and walk out.
"Seriously…" Uriah looks shocked. "You can still see."
Apparently this fight isn't interesting enough for him. Or maybe he's going to find out why everything's spinning like a top, and I don't blame him; I want to know the answer too.
"We'll talk later." Four whispers. She hums not really knowing what to say but acknowledging his words.
My knees give out and the floor is cool against my cheek. Something slams into my side and I scream for the first time, a high screech that belongs to someone else and not me, and it slams into my side again, and I can't see anything at all,
"I can't believe I forgot we were in the middle of hearing this." Marlene screeches. "I almost lost the adrenaline rush."
"Me too." Alexandra says. "But that Christina thing kept me in it, like the fight was happening in front of me."
"Right!" Uriah exclaims.
not even whatever is right in front of my face, the lights out. Someone shouts, "Enough!" and I think too much and nothing at all. When I wake up, I don't feel much, but the inside of my head is fuzzy, like it's packed with cotton balls.
I know that I lost, and the only thing keeping the pain at bay is what is making it difficult to think straight.
"That made no sense at all." Tris says.
Will laughs, "Are you talking about your own words right now?"
"I- I g- guess I am."
"Is her eye already black?" someone asks. I open one eye—the other stays shut like it's glued that way. Sitting to my right are Will and Al; Christina sits on the bed to my left with an ice pack on her jaw.
"What happened to your face?" I say. My lips feel clumsy and too large.
She laughs. "Look who's talking. Should we get you an eye patch?"
The two friend's laugh feeling now like they can knowing all the drama and torture- yes torture, of those days are behind them.
"Well, I already know what happened to my face," I say. "I was there. Sort of."
"Did you just make a joke, Tris?" Will says, grinning. "We should get you on painkillers more often if you're going to start cracking jokes. Oh, and to answer your question—I beat her up."
"You beat me up you jerk." Christina says, elbowing him in the gut.
"I only hit your face once for a reason."
"Why?" She asks looking up at him. "I thought you were cute."
"Aww, gangly, nervous Erudite."
He glares at her. "I take back everything."
"I can't believe you couldn't beat Will," Al says, shaking his head. "What? He's good," she says, shrugging. "Plus, I think I've finally learned how to stop losing. I just need to stop people from punching me in the jaw."
"You know, you'd think you would have figured that out already." Will winks at her. "Now I know why you aren't Erudite. Not too bright, are you?"
"Jerk! I take back everything."
"You feeling okay, Tris?" Al says. His eyes are dark brown, almost the same colour as Christina's skin. His cheek looks rough, like if he didn't shave it, he would have a thick beard. Hard to believe he's only sixteen.
"He was huge." Lynn agrees.
"Yeah," I say. "Just wish I could stay here forever so I never have to see Peter again."
"I could've made that wish come true."
Tris opens her mouth to respond but Violet beats her to the punch. "Shut the hell up, Peter."
But I don't know where "here" is. I am in a large, narrow room with a row of beds on either side. Some of the beds have curtains between them. On the right side of the room is a nurse's station. This must be where the Dauntless go when they're sick or hurt. The woman there looks at us over a clipboard. I've never seen a nurse with so many piercings in her ear before.
Everyone chuckles.
Some Dauntless must volunteer to do jobs that traditionally belong to other factions. After all, it wouldn't make sense for the Dauntless to make the trek to the city hospital every time they get hurt.
The first time I went to the hospital, I was six years old. My mother fell on the sidewalk in front of our house and broke her arm. Hearing her scream made me burst into tears,
"Your dramatics." Natalie says sighing. "It was a gruesome to our young eyes mother." Caleb adds.
"You didn't say a word you ran and went to get dad." Tris cries. "I'm just more centred baby sister."
Tris sticks her tongue out at him mimicking his words childishly. "I'm totally centred." She argues. "You're split into three different factions," Alexandra snorts. "You're so not centred." She finishes making everyone laugh.
but Caleb just ran for my father without saying a word. At the hospital, an Amity woman in a yellow shirt with clean fingernails took my mother's blood pressure and set her bone with a smile.
I remember Caleb telling her that it would only take a month to mend, because it was a hairline fracture. I thought he was reassuring her, because that's what selfless people do, but now I wonder if he was repeating something he had studied; if all his Abnegation tendencies were just Erudite traits in disguise.
"Were they?" Tris asks.
"Obviously not," He says immediately then backtracks. "OK so a lot of it was but I learnt a lot of great values in Abnegation that I tried to combine."
"Don't worry about Peter," says Will. "He'll at least get beat up by Edward, who has been studying hand-to-hand combat since we were ten years old. For fun."
"Good," says Christina.
Peter sits silently, his anger morphing into a plan.
She checks her watch. "I think we're missing dinner. Do you want us to stay here, Tris?" I shake my head. "I'm fine."
Christina and Will get up, but Al waves them ahead. He has a distinct smell—sweet and fresh, like sage and lemongrass. When he tosses and turns at night, I get a whiff of it and I know he's having a nightmare.
"You sure pay a lot of attention to Al." Peter chides. "I don't know." Tris answers honestly. "I guess his vulnerability is part of everything I wanted to leave back in Abnegation."
"I just wanted to tell you that you missed Eric's announcement. We're going on a field trip tomorrow, to the fence, to learn about Dauntless jobs," he says. "We have to be at the train by eight fifteen."
"Good," I say. "Thanks."
"And don't pay attention to Christina. Your face doesn't look that bad." He smiles a little. "I mean, it looks good. It always looks good. I mean—you look brave. Dauntless."
"Ugh!" Marlene groans. "This is so awkward."
"You never mentioned this." Christina chuckles. "I mean should we feel bad for Al or you?" Tris gestures to the book warily. "Keep reading."
His eyes skirt mine, and he scratches the back of his head. The silence seems to grow between us. It was a nice thing to say, but he acts like it meant more than just the words.
"You are not that oblivious," Cara notes. "Please."
"I eventually got it."
I hope I am wrong. I could not be attracted to Al—I could not be attracted to anyone that fragile.
Four doesn't let Tris see his reaction to those words.
I smile as much as my bruised cheek will allow, hoping that will diffuse the tension.
The irony doesn't escape the room. "Man, this is sad." Uriah examines. "I mean you've been there for like days and this guy is all over you."
"Who ever said Abnegations don't have skills." Tori says.
"I should let you rest," he says. He gets up to leave, but before he can go, I grab his wrist.
Theirs a flurry of gasps and screams. "Scandalous!" Alexandra exclaims, the same time Uriah says, "Outrageous!"
"Tris!" Marlene cries. "How could you do this to Four?"
"Do what?"
"The betrayal!"
"What betraya-" Tris starts but is cut off by Will. "Poor, poor Four."
"What?" She laughs trying to be irritated but finding it impossible. "Four, instructor sir, how do you feel about miss first jumper grabbing Al's wrist?" Tris expects Four to roll his eyes and not answer but he crosses his arms and looks down his nose to her.
He eventually nods answering, "I feel pretty betrayed." Causing the room to fall in to gut-wrenching laughter, and Tris's eyes to widen and jaw drop.
"I hate you." She mouths, after a minute. He winks chuckling lightly.
"Can we continue?" Tris asks glaring at the red- faced people surrounding her.
Zeke waves her off clutching his side. "Yeah, yeah." After several minutes pass and Alexandra finally calms down, Cara clears her throat. "OK let's find out what really happened between these two."
"Al, are you okay?" I say. He stares blankly at me, and I add, "I mean, is it getting any easier?"
"Uh…" He shrugs. "A little." He pulls his hand free and shoves it in his pocket. The question must have embarrassed him, because I've never seen him so red before. If I spent my nights sobbing into my pillow, I would be a little embarrassed too.
"A little?" Everyone choruses.
At least when I cry, I know how to hide it.
Tris ignores her parent's coy stares.
"I lost to Drew. After your fight with Peter." He looks at me. "I took a few hits, fell down, and stayed there. Even though I didn't have to. I figure…I figure that since I beat Will, if I lose all the rest, I won't be ranked last, but I won't have to hurt anyone anymore."
"What a coward." Lynn mutters.
"Does not wanting to hurt others make you cowardly?" Susan says mustering her courage. "What's the point of choosing Dauntless, if you're not willing to get hurt and hurt others? Everyone knows what being in Dauntless means why sign up in the first place." Lynn answers.
"Is that really what you want?" He looks down. "I just can't do it. Maybe that means I'm a coward."
"You're not a coward just because you don't want to hurt people," I say, because I know it's the right thing to say, even if I'm not sure I mean it.
She seems to do a lot of that. Natalie notes silently. Always putting others emotions above her own. She didn't feel bad for hoping she'd grow out of it.
For a moment we are both still, looking at each other. Maybe I do mean it. If he is a coward, it isn't because he doesn't enjoy pain. It is because he refuses to act.
"Man, I second guess myself a lot." Tris murmurs noting something in her notepad.
He gives me a pained look and says, "You think our families will visit us? They say transfer families never come on Visiting Day."
"I don't know," I say. "I don't know if it would be good or bad if they did."
"Ouch." Christina says. "This is only weird because you guys," she gestures to the Priors. "are siting right there."
"Yeah, is this going to expose every private conversation I've ever had." Tris asks raising an eyebrow questionably. "Only the most significant," Violet answers. "Which is basically everything."
The girl sighs nodding and writing something down again.
"I think bad." He nods. "Yeah, it's already hard enough." He nods again, as if confirming what he just said, and walks away.
"Oh you see that makes it better." The raven continues. "She doesn't want you to some because she misses you so much."
Will smirks down at her. "What is this newfound want to explain the plot?"
"I have no idea."
In less than a week, the Abnegation initiates will be able to visit their families for the first time since the Choosing Ceremony. They will go home and sit in their living rooms and interact with their parents for the first time as adults.
I used to look forward to that day. I used to think about what I would say to my mother and father when I was allowed to ask them questions at the dinner table.
In less than a week, the Dauntless-born initiates will find their families on the Pit floor, or in the glass building above the compound, and do whatever it is the Dauntless do when they reunite.
"Wait, wait, and wait." Uriah lifts his arms waving for Cara to stop. "What do you think we do when we 'reunite'?"
"You know like throw knives at each other." Christina answers. "Or…"
"Shoot at each other's feet." Will adds. "Yes!" Christina yells high- fiving him. "Or spar in the training section."
"Weird stuff like that." Tris says nodding at the couple.
Maybe they take turns throwing knives at each other's heads—it wouldn't surprise me.
"Ha!" Christina yells marvelling at her own genius.
And the transfer initiates with forgiving parents will be able to see them again too. I suspect mine will not be among them. Not after my father's cry of outrage at the ceremony.
"Cry of outrage?" Andrew exclaims. "Really Beatrice?"
"Sorry."
Cara pauses. "I don't know if that was an error, exaggeration or changing of the future clause."
"I think I was exaggerating but I'm not sure. We should write it down in case." The room nods in agreement, Tris notes her dad somewhat exhausted expression. She doesn't blame him since her mind somehow kept posting him as a bad guy, which she knows he isn't.
Not after both their children left them.
All the Prior's sigh in unison.
Maybe if I could have told them I was Divergent, and I was confused about what to choose, they would have understood. Maybe they would have helped me figure out what Divergent is, and what it means, and why it's dangerous.
Natalie takes deep controlled breathes through her nose. We could have changed everything for you Tris, you would've been prepared. She glances at her husband who stares ahead, which she knows is his way of telling her to drop the subject. He can always tell what I'm thinking.
But I didn't trust them with that secret, so I will never know. I clench my teeth as the tears come.
Natalie feels a stray tear run down her cheek and wipes at her eyes quickly covering it with waving off heat. She could've died, it would have been all our fault. Theirs still so much she doesn't know about herself and her family, my past. She glances at her husband again. Our past.
If we don't fix this who knows what may happen. Natalie looks up trying to distract from her violent thoughts when Violet looks her square in the eyes. She gives her a practised smile that comes naturally now, the younger woman doesn't return it but gives her a quick shake of the head. "No." She mouths and quickly looks away.
I am fed up. I am fed up with tears and weakness. But there isn't much I can do to stop them.
Violet doesn't look at her again. When have I ever listened to authority anyway? Natalie contemplates. But this is Tris's life. I'll listen to you for now Violet, but soon I'll tell you everything Tris.
Maybe I drift off to sleep, and maybe I don't. Later that night, though, I slip out of the room and go back to the dormitory. The only thing worse than letting Peter put me in the hospital would be letting him put me there overnight.
Tris's eyes meets her mothers who looks at her the same way she's always looked at her. My kind, pretty, brave girl.
"Be brave. Be strong. Live."
Hey, hey, hey! Guess whose back?! Oh my goodness guys the feedback these past few weeks I've received is just amazing. Just want to make a huge shout out and send thanks to paula'08, a lot of guests and DivergentBadWolf. Thank you for your kind words and encouragements.
So many new followers we're almost hitting 100! Yay! Ok guys, don't hate on all the conflicts happening they're a very diverse group kept confined in a small space together for a long time. Conflict will happen, just bear with.
And bear with for the next chapter ;)
xoxoIvoryoutxoxo
