Chapter 12
T'rin regretted that he and Renpeth had not been flying a bit longer; he said so to Allessa.
"I should have liked to have taken you and Lyseder to the Nabol Hold Gather" he said, pulling a face "But Renpeth's not strong enough to fly so long a distance Straight; and of course we've not even started training to go Between yet. Shall I ask R'gar if he'll take you?"
Allessa flushed.
"If he would take Lyseder it would be nice for him to visit a Gather" she said "He's never been to one. But I'd rather not fly anywhere Between."
T'rin's brow furrowed.
"Why ever not?" he asked. "I thought you had no problems when you came here first."
She flushed deeper.
"I'm pregnant, T'rin" she said, quietly.
"Pregnant?" he blinked.
"It does sometimes happen as a result of intimacy" she said dryly, smiling at the expression on his face.
"It's mine?" he asked. Somehow it seemed wrong just to assume.
"Well it certainly isn't anyone else's" she said.
T'rin grinned soppily.
"This calls for celebration!" he declared. "Unless" he added in sudden consternation "Unless you didn't want another child?"
"Dear idiot" she said, fondly, relaxed enough now with the Blue Rider to gently insult him. "If I'd not wanted this baby, all I had to do was to accept a trip to Nabol, right?"
T'rin pondered.
"That's true enough. How long gone are you?"
"A couple of months. I wanted to be absolutely certain before I told you. And – and I was worried how you might take it" she paused "It seems I had no need to be."
"Allessa, if you're happy about it, that's all that counts" asseverated T'rin. "After all, in a weyr no-one casts aspertions over the marital state or otherwise of anyone's parents. A lot of kids of riders look to their foster parents more than their real parents anyway, because some people are afraid of giving too much affection in case it makes them unable to make the risks that make our existence meaningful; I don't ascribe to that view. I think there should be foster parents as extra parents so there's always plenty of people for any kid to turn to. And I guess I'm Lyseder's foster father in many ways as much as T'lan is my foster mother" he added ruefully. "It's but an extension to father a sibling of his" he took her hands. "And I'll be as good a father as I can – I'm only sorry that I can't give you what R'gar and T'lan have, for you deserve it."
She smiled a little sadly.
"I'd rather have as much as we do have" she said softly "And have your honesty; than have the pretence of a love that, being a lie, could only lead to hard words and bitter partings. And because it is the way in weyrs" she added "When you do find the love of your life, that you already have a child, or children will not matter. As it does not matter that M'kel had three children before he met Y'lara."
T'rin kissed her lightly.
"Maybe I never will find a weyrmate" he said cheerfully. "Too demanding, that's me."
She leaned her head against him.
"Like you said – your weyrmate's egg just isn't shelled yet. You deserve a love who can share everything with you, including this dragonlust I hear so much about."
"And you, Allessa, deserve better than a proddy itinerant harper" T'rin told her.
"Fardles!" was her only comment to that!
T'lana, of course, picked up in Allessa's state; and asked the woman bluntly,
"Are you happy in your pregnancy?"
Allessa flushed and stammered; she had learned to be relaxed with 'her' harperfolk, but still found herself a little nervous of the higher echelon of the Weyr.
"Why – yes, thank you, weyrwoman!" she managed.
T'lana raised an eyebrow.
"How long is it going to take you to call me 'T'lana', Allessa?" she asked quizzically. "After all, if, as I suspect, it's T'rin's, it does make us kin, for that's my foster grandchild you have in there. Though at no more than twenty turns I have to say I find it hard to adjust to the idea of being a grandmother!" she grinned.
The relarionship had not really struck Allessa; and with that thought she was able to share a smile over the incongruous idea of the little weyrwoman being referred to as 'grandmother'.
"I – I suppose I'd better try, um, T'lana" she said.
T'lana chuckled.
"There – it didn't burn your mouth to say it, did it now?" she asked. "Besides, I'm in the same interesting condition myself, and it's always nice as one gets fatter to have a fellow sufferer to moan about things with!"
"You – you're not going to take it Between then?" Allessa asked, flushing at her own temerity.
"Oh no! I take things as they come. If I'm still able to get far enough along to realise I'm pregnant I assume it's meant to be. I'd not expected to be fertile still with all the usual comings and goings Between so it's an added bonus. I moan about them, but I LIKE babies. Even though my duties mean I have to dump them on Lanelly a lot" she added ruefully. "But that means they just have extra people."
"That's nice – and not a bit like people say. I mean…." Allessa blushed again.
T'lana put a finger to the other woman's lips.
"I know what people say" she said. "And the reasons many women make a lot of it is because they are jealous that weyrwomen get to choose if they have a baby or not. Because many Holderfolk keep their women in ignorance of preventative and abortifacient herbs that might be used, all because of hidebound attitudes and a fear that if women had more autonomy they might just learn to laugh at their menfolk and do some of the running of things themselves; and the fear that they might do it better. It's the reason for the snide comments made about weyr life – envy. People snipe at things they do not themselves have. It's why so many people love to hear any scandal around weyrs; it lowers the weyrfolk and makes them more ordinary, less threatening, less fortunate. As many people like to see a Holder's wife fall on her arse in sticky mud in all her Gather finery" she shrugged. "It's human nature."
"You just accept it" Allessa was wondering. "You're not even the least bit angered by it."
"Of course. To understand all is to accept all. How can anyone who is not involved have any conception of the difficulties and dangers of riding a dragon – even others living in a weyr – when all they see is dragons above them and dragonriders, I fear all too often, throwing their weight around? They see that our day-to-day living is easier; it is. They see that we have personal freedom undreamed of out of a weyr. We do. It's the exchange we get for the danger of Threadscore and possible death, regular total exhaustion that they do NOT get to see; and the terrible chance of being bereft of half our being if….if" she faltered "If we lose our dragon and are forced to carry on living by ourselves; because dragonfolk are conditioned to be brave and not take the easy path of an overdose of fellis."
"Is it that bad?" asked Allessa curiously.
"It's worse" said T'lana, curtly. "Get T'rin to tell you about Sh'len and Tath; I can't. We were weyrlings together….it makes a difference" she struggled with herself until she was back under control. "Anyway" she went on "If congratulations are in order, congratulations. If not…" she left the suggestion delicately unspoken.
"I'm very happy to have T'rin's babe" said Allessa softly. "I may not be his weyrmate, but at least I know this child will receive nothing but love from the hands of his or her family."
"Quite" said T'lana, firmly. "And that holds true whether the pair of you move on to other lovers or not. Oh, by the way" she added "I've been chatting with Pilgra and Keerana."
Allessa looked a little wary; and the little redhaired weyrwoman smiled reassuringly before continuing.
"As there is a fully fledged Harper Hall here, we felt it should have its own Headwoman – and as you seem to have taken on the responsibility, the job is yours. Keerana is overall Headwoman, of course, so you answer to her and to Pilgra; and in the matter of weyrling apprentices – or, um, journeymen" she twinkled "I guess to R'gar and me, if there's any need for discipline, I mean it ought to be discussed if it goes beyond what can be dealt with by a good box to the ears or extra cleaning duties."
Allessa stared open mouthed.
"Headwoman of the Harper Hall? Me?" she queried.
T'lana laughed.
"Indeed, you. You already handle the job. Allessa, with your mouth open you look like something your father would land from the open sea."
Allessa quickly shut her mouth, and chuckled at what was plainly a sally not an insult.
"I – I don't feel worthy."
"Damn that bully of a father of yours, and that repellent fellow they wed you to as well! Believe me, you are worthy. Have you not organised the whole thing from the start? But it's starting to get too large for one person to handle. You will need a couple of sturdy girls to help with the cleaning and such cooking as needs doing. Most eat with their peers so there'll be little of that, but I know they do ask you to cook a meal sometimes when there are protracted work sessions. Next time we've an intake of volunteers, you get first pick of whoever you want" she grinned. "Do warn the girls not to fall in love with T'rin. He is, like D're, a rogue and a rascal."
Allessa opened her mouth to defend her lover; and realised his foster mother was teasing! She laughed.
"Yes, I suppose he is" she agreed. "But in the nicest way!"
"Yes – and that's why it's the more dangerous to a girl's equilibrium" said T'lana. "If he was a heel, any girl who got wise to him would be cured. As he's also rather a decent lad, he's unfortunately infinitely lovable."
T'rin was glad that T'lana had acknowledged Allessa's worth; and given her a formal position. It relieved him and L'gal of some of the small administrative problems of day to day routine by having an official headwoman to refer people to. And with her knots of rank she should not receive any insult from anyone!
A less routine problem, thought T'rin with a sigh, was the inability of his pupils to accurately sing a new piece they were learning. And with L'gal fighting Thread at this moment he'd have to trust his own limited powers of singing to correct them. They repeated the phrase again, gratingly wrong, and he stood up.
And then he froze.
The offending phrase was produced perfectly in a sweet pure base.
"Renpeth?" he asked amazed.
"Of course. It was getting on my nerves. And I know how it should sound, for I've heard it in your head" the little blue dragon said apologetically.
"My AREN'T you a clever one!" T'rin was overwhelmed! "Beautiful and musical too!"
Renpeth radiated a degree of smugness.
The apprentices, shocked for a moment into silence, renewed practice; and this time it was note perfect! T'rin grinned.
Even the dragons could be part of the High Reaches Harper Hall!
Not that all lessons went smoothly, even with the aid of dragons.
Those people at High Reaches adept at reading the drums – which was to say a disproportionate number including most of the logicators as well as the senior staff and any Ranking weyrlings – were barely taking any notice of the practice of the Harper Apprentices on their smaller practice drums one lazy early summer's morning. Until, that is, the unexpected message was sent:
DDDDNow is the time for all good men to indulge in drinksDDDD
This was not the commonly sent practice message that involved all good men to come to the fireheights; and several heads snapped round in surprise to stare at the drum heights.
There was a long pause.
Enough time elapsed for a few pithily pointed comments from T'rin; then a drumbeat from – the knowledgeable avowed – a different drummer repeated again and again, two dozen times if any cared to count,
DDDDI must not substitute incorrect beats in my fellows'copy booksDDDD
T'rin told T'lana about it later, having discussed the matter with L'gal.
"It's that little horror Kullana" he chuckled, his expression belying his words. "She's far too young to be a regular apprentice, alas – but she's frighteningly intelligent and she gets bored. She studies on her own, I swear, and I wager she could catch up to F'lim if I let her."
"Then why not do so, dear one?" T'lana queried, cocking her flaming head on one side.
T'rin blurted
"Because she's just a babe! She's scarce eight turns!"
T'lana sniffed speakingly.
"And age has what to do with it?" she said. "For that matter she's only just over a turn younger than Lyseder and two turns younger than Garvan; we just think of her and Takula as being younger, partly for having had them from a young age, and partly because the treatment they had before they came to the Weyr left them in some ways acting childishly. If the girl is capable and eager to be stretched, stretch her! It's something that adds to her sense of self worth, and that is so important for a mite with so unhappy a start in life! Rules were meant to be bent – like ignoring Lyseder's age for Impression – and First Egg knows how good we are at bending the rules here!"
T'rin grinned at his fiery foster mother's vehement tone; and her accurate summation of the attitude of High Reaches Weyr. And he was much struck by the realisation that she was but a turn younger than Lyseder, and that it was perhaps the habit of babying and protecting the two sisters that coloured his attitudes.
"I don't want to burn her out" he said.
T'lana snorted.
"Kullana is not going to let herself be burned out" she declared firmly. "She knows what she wants. If you'd been offered training at that age, with Sh'rilla taken care of, of course….."
T'rin wrinkled his nose.
"I'd have leaped at it. But I can't sign her as an apprentice….Lyseder was a candidate so everyone assumed he was over twelve, and Garvan's Turned ten…..Master Robinton would look at her age and throw a blue fit, and small blame to him!"
T'lana shrugged.
"Smudge her birth date. Or lie. Or go and see him and take her with you. I've heard her play. She's good. I think she's better than Mi'a, though I may be wrong, for I've not your craft-trained ear."
T'rin sighed.
"Yes, she is" he said. "Your ear is fine; it may be untrained but you go straight to the heart of things. Which is why you like Master Domick's music so well. Well, I – I guess I could take her to see the Masterharper if R'cal would give us a lift. L'gal is not happy about taking so radical a step off his own bat when we are so newly established and he just Acting-Master, lest it discredit us. But if Master Robinton feels she would benefit…."
It was not that L'gal was shy of taking decisions; far from it. But the Harper Hall at High Reaches was no long established thing like the Weyr itself was, and he feared to bring it, and by extension the whole harpercraft into disrepute by making a decision so far in departure from the norm. Especially as Kullana was a little girl; and girls were NOT generally welcomed at the Harper Hall as yet even when of proper age. Had she been a boy, he might have wavered. He did not like to pass the responsibility of taking her to T'rin either; but as T'rin pointed out, it was he she had attached herself to, and he felt the keen responsibility to the child who was, moreover, almost part of his own extended family. L'gal acquiesced.
When Kullana was informed that T'rin intended to take her to visit the Harper Hall she regarded him suspiciously.
"Why?" she asked, in her usual monosyllabic idiom.
T'rin surveyed her.
"Because I want permission to apprentice you properly, to give me the right to paddle your backside when you misbehave" he said.
Kullana regarded him solemnly.
"And not being formal would stop you why?" she said with a surprisingly long sentence for her!
"I also want to be able to teach you more" he said "As a proper apprentice, as I'm forbidden to do, because of craft secrets, if you are not confirmed as apprentice."
Kullana absorbed that.
"Why are we still waiting and not gone?" she asked.
"Because, brat, R'cal isn't provided for your personal convenience and we wait on him" said T'rin.
Kullana actually giggled!
