CHAPTER 12: STRENGTH

"Arigato Gozaimasu," Taichi said exhaustedly, as he bowed to Tsuboguchi-san after their 2nd game. He was back from Kyoto a week after his sensei got hospitalized, and as promised to the old man, Taichi went back to practising his Karuta.

"Not bad for someone who hasn't played officially in 8 years," Tsuboguchi-san taunted as he ruffled Taichi's hair. He was down 3 cards, his first down to only 2 cards.

"I never stopped playing Hiroshi-san," Taichi replied, as he fixed his hair. He never could, anyway. He remembered all the lonely times he had to play by himself during his early years in London. He didn't have many friends, not because he was unsociable but because he was the only Asian student in his batch. The only thing keeping him from riding a plane back home was his determination to finish his studies, and when that didn't cure his homesickness, he tried convincing himself that practicing alone would give him the edge like Arata and Shinobu.

He doesn't have Chihaya or Arata's game sense, but what he lacked in talent he made up for his skills. He could give his opponent headaches by placing cards in awkward and unexpected positions, and his superb memorization enables him to remember which cards haven't been read, therefore sending his opponent cards that might not be read should the game ends in a luck-of-draw.

"Well, too bad I won't be here anymore to crush you," Tsuboguchi-san said, giving him a small, sad smile. He'll be transferring to Sapporo the week after next, and even though Taichi only sees him whenever he stops by at Shiranami, he knows he'll miss him when he's gone. The older man believed in his skills when he himself was convinced he had none.

"Haha. We can always crush each other at official tournaments. "He replied, as they both stood up to get water.

"How is Chihaya by the way?" Tsuboguchi-san asked as they sat on the tatami while waiting for their next game. Taichi sighed, remembering the girl in question.

"Still…out of shape." He replied. He'd been calling her the past week, but she accepted none of his calls. He learned from Kanade that Chihaya filed for a one-week leave, boggling her team who was preparing for their Inter-High Championship this week.

He couldn't blame her though. Arata was the one person you wouldn't think of in terms of cheating, especially with Chihaya as his girlfriend. He was almost convinced that if he weren't painted in the same picture, both of them might've married a long time ago.

"I see. I wish I could see that bastard. Punch him square in his face." Tsuboguchi-san said, his blood seething.

As much as Taichi wanted to keep everything that transpired under the bridge, it was hard keeping it from the old man and Tsuboguchi-san. The three of them - Chihaya, Taichi, and Tsuboguchi-san were given the task of running the Dojo while the sensei was recovering, but Chihaya apparently called the sensei 3 days after Arata's reveal that she's quitting. It was then that they learnt of Shinobu-chan's pregnancy and Arata's infidelity, and they never saw Harada-sensei's wrath until then.

"If only she ended up with you." Tsuboguchi-san mused, as they made their way back to their place in the game hall.

"Hi-Hiroshi-san!" Taichi complained, as he tried to hide his embarrassment from the older man. They seldom talk about their personal life, let alone his love life, and Tsuboguchi-san usually teases him whenever he wants to throw him off his game.

"What? I'm not dense you know. I know you've been fancying your best friend ever since you first stepped here. " He said teasingly, as he arranged his Karuta cards. Taichi didn't reply, but he knew denying wouldn't work on the man.

"What do you plan to do now, Mashima-kun?" Tsuboguchi-san asked, just as Taichi was placing the Chiha card.

"About what?" Taichi asked back, throwing him off guard.

"About Chihaya." He answered simply.

"I have a fiancée, Tsuboguchi-san." He countered sternly.

"Oh you do? And you love her more than the girl you loved more than half of your life?" He pried, his eyes still fixed on the cards. Taichi stared at him dumbly, as memories of him and Chihaya coursed his mind.

"There's always a right timing for everything you know. A moment's hesitation is a card gone to waste." Tsuboguchi-san said meaningfully as the third game commenced.


She was back in that cold and dark room, lit only by the stove that barely kept them warm. She was seated in the tatami mat, Karuta cards sprawled everywhere, with a boy he barely knew.

"It's the Chihaya card to me," He remembered him telling her as he gestured to one of the cards with a genuine smile on his face. It was the first time she played Karuta with someone who can give any adult a run for their money, and it was in that instance that she knew what she wanted to become. She didn't know yet what hardships lie ahead of her, but she knew she wanted to be as equally talented and as equally driven as that boy. The boy who gave her her dream.

The scene shifted, and she was transported to a place she'd once gone, but one she'll never forget.

"I love you too... Thank you for bringing me back." She heard him said, a lone tear escaping his eye. It was the first time she felt giddy and happy she wanted to burst. He was everything she wanted - he was a great player, intelligent, and most of all, passionate. He showed her how fun and fulfilling Karuta was. It was a blur to her, the line between her love for Karuta and Arata, but she knew it was intertwined. And she couldn't be any happier.

"You love her don't you?" The scene shifted again, and this time, she heard herself asking him spitefully if he did the unthinkable - cheating on her with another woman. She could see the split indecision in his eyes, seeing through his lies for the first time. She remembered the fury and disappointment boiling inside of her.

If only that woman was someone she didn't know so well… If only he wasn't someone she knew so much… If only their lives weren't so intertwined as much…

She felt like she was drowning under the currents, with the waters pounding her body pushing her to even greater depths. She felt her body surrendering to the pressure, her eyelids heavy and her arms limp.

Wasuraruru
Mi woba omowazu
Chikahite-shi
Hito no inochi no
Oshiku mo aru kana.

MY broken heart I don't lament,
To destiny I bow;
But thou hast broken solemn oaths,—
I pray the Gods may now
Absolve thee from thy vow.

He was her everything. And now her everything has gone.

Then suddenly, like wildfire, warmth spread throughout her body. She felt someone embracing her, his heat radiating gently as it invigorated her deadened senses. She could smell his minty and manly scent, his chest strong and slender against her frame.

"You're stronger than this, Chihaya," she heard him say. He had a beautiful smile on his face; boyish and very handsome, enough to break any girl's heart. But only she knew how genuine and comforting his words are, especially from a man who knew her so well, apart from the one that broke her heart. The scene shifted, taking her to the cramp space of a car, and staring into the man who kissed her previously.

She was dizzy, but she could still taste the warmth of his lips on hers. His eyes were intense, almost like hot coals.

"You're stronger than this, Chihaya." She heard him say again, as he cradled her face in his palms. Fresh new tears flowed from her face.

"I'm not. I'm not…" she cried, as she shook her head in denial. Here was a man who had been there for her, who supported her, and probably loved her longer than the man she loved. If only she had chosen him instead…

"Everything will be alright." She heard him say, as she felt his arms embracing her once again, his warm lips kissing her gently on her forehead…

"Chihaya!" She heard a woman's voice in the distance call her name, and it was at that point that she opened her eyes and was met by her lifeless Daddy bear stuffed toy.

She was only having a dream… her first in a week full of nightmares.


"Fujimiya-san, your swing is too wide!" Taichi bellowed at the bulky second year as he made his rounds in the crowded clubroom of the Mizusawa Karuta Club.

Kanade had called him the other day to ask for assistance in Chihaya's absence. Mizusawa's Karuta team will be battling in the Inter High Championship tomorrow, and with a population second only to Shizuoka's Fujisaki Karuta Club, the results could get disastrous if they were not handled properly.

He was supposed to scout for his clinic's location that day, but he decided to reschedule it after heeding Kanade's request. He didn't want to admit it, but being the president of their Karuta club was the role he cherished the most. He had always admired Chihaya for her passion in Karuta, but he admired her more for her determination to teach Karuta even though she doesn't excel in teaching.

"Eika-chan, lower your hand when you're covering your cards," he said, as he crouched by her side. The younger girl blushed as he demonstrated his defense tactics.

It was Kanade who broke to them the news of Chihaya's sudden leave of absence, but they weren't informed of what exactly happened. They were just told that she was sick, and someone was taking over the club for a while. Their reception of him was cold at first (especially the boys), but when he played their strongest player and won by more than half of the cards, they knew Taichi wasn't someone they could mess around with.

The sun had already set when Taichi called it quits. He knew that no matter how much the team practices tonight, their performance tomorrow will still be dependent on their condition.

"Okay, good job today guys. Rest early so you'll be able to play at your best tomorrow." He advised, as more than 40 heads nodded in unison.

"Hai!" they agreed. Taichi couldn't be more impressed. More than half of them could really play competitively, with 12 Class A players and the rest having ranks, he was confident that they'll win.

Kanade was observing at the back of the room when he dismissed the club.

"Kaichou… I'm sorry to have you asked you this, I know you're quite busy.." Kanade apologized, as they exited the clubroom.

"It's nothing." Taichi replied as he smiled to the shorter woman.

"I just hope Chihaya-chan could come tomorrow despite of what happened though. She'd been working hard for the Karuta Club" She mused. She was surprised when she learned of Chihaya's ordeal, but the excuses Arata always made to Chihaya before finally made sense to her. She knew how blurred the line was between Chihaya's love for Karuta and the man who brought her to the sport, and the situation could actually prove detrimental to her Karuta career.

"Oh, she will. I have a plan." He replied, a devious smile grazing his face.


"Chihaya, open the door!" Taichi called as he knocked for the 3rd time that evening. It was the day of the Inter-High Championship, and he had rushed to her house after the competition.

"Chihaya, come on, don't lock yourself in there. Your family's worried." Taichi pleaded.

"Just… go away." He heard her say meekly. It was then that he knew what he had to do.

He fished a key from his pocket.

"I knooow you're gonna say that." He laughed, as he unlocked her door. Chihaya's back was turned from him as she lied on her bed, but she turned to him abruptly in surprise when he entered her room. He could tell she hadn't been eating; she looked like she dropped a few pounds from the last time they met.

Before she could stand up, Taichi strode to her bed and carried her like a potato sack on his shoulders. Chihaya screamed in surprise.

"What are you doing?!" She screeched, as she trashed around. Taichi on the other hand, exited the room as fast as he went in.

"I am kidnapping you." He groaned, as he tried to balance her weight as he trudged the stairs. Chihaya's mother had been onto his plan, and even though she was worried, she knew her daughter needed the breather.

"What?! No! You idiot! Let me go!" She shouted angrily. They were already in front of her car, and he dropped her unceremoniously at the front of the car.

"Shut up and just enjoy the ride." He replied as he started the car and proceeded to strap Chihaya's seatbelt.

"Let me go! You jerk!" She screamed, as she tried slapping his hands. He was much stronger than her though, and after a minute or two she was already buckled in her seat.

"It's not funny Taichi! Seriously! Where the hell are we going?!" She grated angrily as they drove towards the city. She didn't want to see anyone, let alone have her seen in her almost-starved state.

She was aware of today's competition, but she couldn't muster up the courage to wear her hakama. Memories of them in Arata flow like water whenever she thinks of Karuta, and she's afraid she might just worry everyone when she starts tearing up during the game.

She was still worried about what Taichi's deal might be when the car came to a halt.

"We're here." Taichi announced, as she stared in horror at the one place she least wanted to go to. They were in Shiranami Society.

"I'm not setting foot there." She warned, as she held onto her seat.

"Yes you are," He retorted, as he unbuckled her seatbelt.

"You can't make me!" She shrieked, panic arising in her voice. Tears began forming in her eyes, as she remembered the first time she set foot in Shiranami. Her first official match. Their first genpai match. It held too many beautiful memories that were now like land mines to her.

"Your team… they won, Chihaya." Taichi said softly, as he wiped her tears. She gaped in shock.

"Wha-what?" She asked dumbly.

"And they really want to see you." He replied, as he gestured towards the Dojo.

"But…but I can't…not when I'm like this…" She cried miserably. She'd been wanting to see her team compete and win the title as the best High School Karuta players in Japan. She knew that them seeing her breaking down was unlike the cheerful adviser who always drove them nuts.

"Listen, I can beat you at anything and you're certainly aware of that, except for one thing – your passion for Karuta." Taichi said, as he cradled her face.

"You know why those kids won? It's certainly not because of your sub-par strategies and advices." He continued, his sincerity lost in the insult.

"Oi." She glared, as she slapped his palms away.

"Seriously. Why did you tell Eika to focus on offense when she's clearly better suited for defense?"

"I—"

"Or Fujimiya on defense when he's got the potential for powerful offensive attacks?"

"Are you mocking my skills you substitute?!" She hissed, as she grabbed him tightly in the collar.

"Yes. Because you suck at it." He retorted, as he pried her fingers off his neck.

"Then why don't you do it then?!" She snapped, as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I would. But I don't have your balls for it." He laughed, as he flicked her forehead.

"Shut up."

"Anyhow, they won because they wanted to make you proud." He said sincerely, as he remembered that day's match. The team was a nervous wreck, almost losing in the 3rd round when they fought against last year's champion. It was overwhelming to watch when the last round wins came from the most unexpected players in the team, but it was all worth it. It was a pity Chihaya wasn't there to watch.

"They saw how you poured your energy in making them champions. And so they did." Taichi said, as he reached out for her hand.

"Don't quit on them, Chihaya. Don't quit on Karuta. Don't quit on you." He could see her tearing up again, and even though he hated seeing her like this, he knew she needed to hear those words.

"It—It hurts Taichi…" She cried, as she covered her face with her hands. It wasn't the betrayal that hurt her the most. It was the fact that they had all the wonderful memories, all the wonderful dreams, all the wonderful achievements, and Arata chose to trade them away.

"I know it hurts. But Arata merely showed you the way. You ventured on this journey on your own. And even with what he did…" Taichi halted, as Chihaya wailed on his last remark.

"Even with what he did, Karuta will always be a part of you. So don't give it up." He continued, as he pulled her to his embrace. He felt her calming down after a while.

"Ready to see them now?" He asked, as he turned to see her smile for the first time that night.


Party poopers started snapping, raining confetti all over the place. Chihaya's jaw dropped. Candles lit the darkness as more than 40 individuals greeted her. It was her Karuta Team.

"Sensei, we won!" said a stout girl with brown hair, her current Vice-President.

"The Inter High Karuta Championship! We won sensei!" Arizawa, the newbie, said happily as he went in front of the crowd. Chihaya's heart welled.

Everyone was in attendance, but the surprise of that night was her former Karuta Team. Komano, Nishida, Tsukuba, Kanade, and Sumire joined them in celebration along with their peers, Harada-sensei and Tsuboguchi-san. Food and drinks were in abundance that night, but after an hour or two, Harada-sensei called it a night.

"Okay kids, let's all go home. Nationals are coming up, and they're a tad stronger than the teams you've just faced. We'll start practicing 5 matches starting tomorrow and 10 matches during the weekends, understand?" Taichi said, addressing the team who had groaned at their fate.

"Are you still sick, Ayase-sensei? Will you not supervise us?" Eika asked Chihaya worriedly. Chihaya didn't know what to reply, but before she could answer, Taichi beat her up to it.

"She'll have to rest for a while. So you guys better be ready for when she comes back. Your practices will be Twice. As. Hard." He said, emphasizing on the last three words.

"Ha-Hai… Mashima-sensei…" The team nervously replied.

Everyone was getting ready to go home when Chihaya called out.

"Minna…" She called, choking up on her tears.

"I'm… I'm very proud of you… All of you… Please do your best." She said, as tears of joy fell silently on her face.

"We'll give it our best shot Ayase-sensei!" Atohiro, another newbie piped, followed by one of her mainstays,

"Get well soon so you could see us crush them!" Fujiwara said, as a round of cheer followed,

"Yea! We love you sensei!"

Taichi looked on with a bright smile on his face, unaware of his friends' knowing glances.


"Taichi…thank you." Chihaya said, as they made their way towards the river under the bridge where their team surprised her years ago. Chihaya didn't want to go home yet, so he brought him to the only place that he could call their own.

"You're welcome." He replied, as they sat on the table.

"You… would make a good coach." Chihaya observed, as she stared at the river in front of them.

"But I'd never beat you." He laughed, as he leaned back on his arms. What Chihaya lacked in teaching skills, she made up for her passion. She wasn't the best strategist, nor was she the best motivator, but when it all comes down to what matters the most, Chihaya could make anyone believe.

"Taichi…"

"I'm… competing in the Qualifiers." He declared, as he felt the energy welling up inside of him. Chihaya gaped.

"Oh my Go—That's – that's great!" Chihaya squealed, as he grabbed his arm.

"I don't know if I still can, but I need to fulfil my promise to the old man." He smiled wistfully, as he remembered his promise to Harada-sensei 8 years ago that he wouldn't give up on his dream.

"You can do it Taichi." She said sincerely, a genuine smile grazing her face.

"Will you play with me?" He asked, wiping the smile off her face. She looked down on her hands as she replied,

"I can't.. I can't even touch a card! How am I supposed to play?" She droned miserably.

"Karuta will always be waiting for you, its Queen. You don't have to force yourself to play right now if you don't want to. No one can take it away from you…except you."

"I—I don't know Taichi." She replied tentatively, as she stared once again at their river.

"Please? For me?" Taichi asked sincerely.

Chihaya didn't reply but he knew he had won this match. Chihaya wouldn't be able to resist Karuta for long. It would break her, he knew. Especially when she sees the bastard again, this time with another woman. But he will be there for her, he vowed.

She felt Chihaya's hand clasping his hand to his surprise. Her blood-shot eyes were still fixated on the river as she leaned her head on his shoulders. His heart almost stopped as a whiff of her lavender-scented shampoo assaulted his nostrils. His eyes closed as he kissed her hair, his fingers intertwining with hers. They stayed like that for a while, when Chihaya suddenly asked quietly,

"Taichi… that night… Why did you kiss me?" He remembered the night he sent her home. She'd been a mess, asking him to do the unthinkable with her. He knew she wasn't in her right mind, so instead of succumbing, he kissed her instead. He didn't know why he did it, he just wanted her to stop breaking into pieces in front of him.

"I don't know." He replied, not wanting to delve into it further.

"I don't want to cause trouble for you and Satoko-chan," she replied, surprising him. He'd been busy lately that he barely get to see her fiancée, but he knew she understood his situation.

"Hey, don't worry about me, okay?" He assured, as he kissed her hand.

"I mean, she'll understand me trying to help you and—"

"That's not what I mean," Chihaya interjected, as she looked up to meet his eyes. He wasn't dumb. But at that moment, he wished he was. He knew their gestures were a blur line between friendly and being too friendly, but he'd always been like this to her. Or so he thinks.

"Then what do you mean?" He asked nonchalantly, as he stared at the river, breaking their eye contact.

It was a charade, she knew. No matter how much she convinces herself that Taichi was just doing his best to comfort her, she couldn't help but wonder whether he was really there as a friend… or because he still felt something for her. And she hated herself for wishing on the latter.

"Nothing. I want ice cream. Your treat." She chirped, as she stood up abruptly to walk towards his car.

"Pighead." He sneered jokingly, as he pushed aside a sudden wave of guilt and confusion.


AN: *dodges bullets* I know, I know. This took longer than expected. But. Hooray for another chapter! Thank you to all who gave their wonderful reviews! A special shout out to Michiko-chan (who, by the way, has 2 very addictive ChihaChi fics. Go read them if you haven't! ^^) Thanks for the encouragement, it really made my day =) And yes, things are heating up in the actual manga (sorry for spoiling but I'M FREAKING EXCIIIIIITED lately for the series. If you worship this pairing, you'll know why =p ) so if you haven't read my other fic called "Finding Love", you might want to check it out (NOT for people who hates spoilers though =p) Thanks everyone! Please read and review! ^^