** I think I'll start putting all my stuff to say up here. Especially if I need to put updates on chapters and stuff... so people don't have to scroll a bunch.
**Update 11/18 : I am going on a hiatus for the holiday season so I can catch up with everything! I hope to have the next chapter up after new years! See you guys soon!
**Update 12/21 : Still here guys! Chapter is still planned to come out probably new years day? Probably maybe! I've been taking some time to go through and do some edits to previous chapters. Lotsa stuff I need to fix still. This is a good time to do it! Aaand the new Bumblebee movie is out and I'm dying inside. I've heard only good things about it, so I'm super excited to see it!
Hope you guys enjoy the chapter! I meant to get this done a little earlier this week but I got pretty busy.
Don't be afraid to leave comments and critique! I love hearing from everyone and their thoughts so far on the story!
I sort of wanted to talk about a little why I wanted to write this story. Yeah, I wanted to make a romance story with Bumblebee, but I really also wanted to write a story about the transition of going from becoming an organic into an inorganic. I can't image the trauma it could put on someone's mentality. And I feel it will make for some good moments from now and into the future.
This may be a romance, but I also intended it to be something about growing up a bit too. Rachel still acts very... childish, you could say. I've always wanted to write about a character going through that growing-up stage in life when you learn to live on your own.
I still have a lot to learn, and I'm still growing in my writing, so I appreciate any feedback you guys can give! Thank you so much for reading!
Chapter 12
A ~~~
Aurora jolted awake to the sound of a world shattering explosion. Everyone around her was already scrambling for cover as debris from the abandoned buildings around them began to collapse.
She had thought the fighting had stopped long enough for a stasis nap. How very wrong she was. She was exhausted after endless days of constant firefights.
Her team leader had called for a retreat to the back lines of the battlefield while a new group would cover their escape. She scurried along, trying to keep up with the retreating Autobots. She tried her best to ignore the fact she was climbing and tripping over the bodies of fallen comrades.
When she reached some level ground, she quickly shifted into her alternate mode and bolted ahead, just barely on the group's tail.
When they finally reached some cover near the back, everyone tossed themselves behind a large fallen statue for some cover. It all happened so fast, everyone just threw themselves behind the cover and landed on each other. She didn't know who any of her squadmates were, and nobody at the time seemed to want to know one another. Nobody knew who would die, so it was better not becoming too friendly with one another. At least not when bullets were flying at them.
"Incoming!" One of them shouted. It was already too late as the team was bombarded once again.
Everyone scrambled out from behind the cover to their best abilities. One didn't make it out in time as a missile landed.
All her senses were numb as her auditory sensors rang from being so close to the explosion. The others began to run again, this time further down the lines. She struggled as she ran to try and keep up with the others.
Right now all she could think about was Punchbuggy. She hadn't heard from her friend in days and she hated being seperated from her for so long. She just hoped she would see her back at the base. She needed to know she was alive. It was the only hope she had left in this war.
With the thought of Punchbuggy running through her processors, she transformed once more and sped off with her retreating group. She wanted to see her again. She was all she had left.
B ~~~
The feeling of a slight tap to her shoulder had her jolting awake. She curled back up into a tight ball she had been in at the realization it was only Bumblebee trying to wake her. He was crouched down to her level as she was huddled on the ground.
"Bee, I just felt like I got to sleep. Just a bit longer." she said, huddling herself back into the corner she had used to lie against when entering stasis. Or at least trying to. He still didn't fully grasp her habits. She was offered a stasis bed to lie on, but she said it was uncomfortable.
"You might be able to get better rest if you used that stasis bed. It's not as bad as you think." he told her.
"It's not that-." she stopped herself, and he noticing a flustered look on her face. "I just like it here more."
He wanted to ask what she had meant to say but he stopped himself as the footsteps of one of his comrades made their way towards them. Bulkhead loomed over the both of them as he passed by. "She's awake? Ratchet wants to see you today when you get a chance." he told her.
Rachel rested her metal cheek against the wall next to her. "Just another hour? Please?" she begged Bee.
Bulkhead let out a small chuckle. "Not sleeping well, kid?" he asked.
Rachel let out a soft, tired sigh. "I can't really figure it out. It's not like sleeping when I was human."
"I guess the best way to explain it is that it's sort of like turning everything off. Letting your body relax in a way." Bulkhead tried to explain. "What was it like to sleep as a human?"
"It was sort of like drifting off. Like fading, not just suddenly going offline like I'm supposed to." she said, resting her head on her knees pulled up against her chest.
Bulkhead scratched at the back of his head. "It saves time. It'll give you more time to recharge rather than just laying there waiting."
"There's a certain charm to it I wish I never took for granted." she said with a pout.
"It'll get easier. Once you figure it out, it'll be nicer. Right now it's dealing with the transition." Bulkhead said, then he continued on with his business, passing by the two of them. He called out to them before he was too far gone. "Besides, it's what you used to do before being a human. You should be able to catch on to it again."
Bumblebee brought his attention back onto Rachel. "One hour will go by quicker than you think. It's better to just get started with the day."
She lifted her head a bit, her blue optics just gazing over her knees toward him. Her eyes had the look of murder in them. "It's worth it. Trust me." she grumbled.
He decided to back off for now. Nothing today would be productive when she was this tired. "Fine. A couple hours, okay?"
The small smile on her face made it sort of worth it. She seemed relieved as she went to rest her cheek on the wall again, letting her eyes close.
Bee went to inform Ratchet she would be a bit delayed for her lessons today.
It had only been a couple days since her transition and things weren't going as good as they anticipated. They were running into more problems they hadn't considered at first. Her human mind was currently incapable of understanding their inorganic biology. The way they functioned and used their bodies was vastly different than how an organic's worked.
They had thought perhaps the memories she had back would be enough. Perhaps Optimus had been wrong about that. Ratchet nagged that he wouldn't have made this transition so fast for her if he had his say about it. She needed time to adjust and learn. But they didn't exactly have that sort of luxury of time anymore. Not when the Decepticons were close to finding their hideout. They had to leave this planet soon if they wanted to succeed.
Bumblebee thought back to the previous day. They had been successful in implanting a form onto her body. She had no way of remembering how to take a form, so linking a patch into her mind and forcing the form was their only option. Rachel had told him how strange the sensation had been. Like her skin was folding over itself, and yet there was no pain. Her description was a bit strange to him, but he did his best to interpret it. She liked to identify her current body parts as she would when she was human. When she was going over a physical with Ratchet the second day, she used terms like ears, stomach, throat, and brain. He found it endearing how much humanity she retained. He hoped she wouldn't change a bit in that aspect.
Now they had to teach her to transform, which was a whole different task on its own. He was able to teach her how to get her weapons out, but changing her whole form would be another trial. He honestly didn't look forward to it.
R ~~~
"...The thirteen primes. Out of them all, which one of them betrayed his brothers?" Ratchet was busy quizzing Rachel now on Cybertronian culture and history. When she wasn't trying to figure out how to transform, sleeping, or trying to watch television in the comms center, this is what she was stuck doing.
"Megatron?" she answered, not feeling very positive on that answer.
"Megatronus. Megatron took on his name from Megatronus. Supposedly the pits of Kaon gave him that name."
"What was the purpose of those pits exactly?" she asked, the thought of pit fights making her feel uneasy. Why was this race so prone to such barbarics despite being so technologically advanced?
"It was a pastime of the workers. Gladiatorial fights. Kaon supplied most of the raw materials for all of Cybertron. I'm sure you've probably visited the place once in your lifetime. It used to be popular."
"But the war started there?" she asked. She drew her knees up to her chest as she sat on one of his lab tables, listening to his tales.
"Most of the Decepticons were workers in those pits. There were a lot of politics that went into it. Over time things became very convoluted. We didn't always used to be so different."
"So why such a large split? Why did the war happen?" Rachel asked quietly.
Ratchet sighed a bit, looking back at her curious eyes. She saw a softness in him for once. "You could say there was a lot of inequality a long time ago. Not everyone received the same treatment. I'm sure you'll be able to understand a little more when you have more of your memories back."
"The more I learn, the more I'm not sure I want them back." she admitted to him. She had only really talked to Bumblebee about her thoughts on these things, but Ratchet seemed to be in a good talking mood today. She knew she really shouldn't keep them too hidden from everyone.
"I envy you a little, kid." he admitted with a small smirk. "A lot of us would like to be able to forget about this war."
The old bot gave a small sigh, brightening up just a little when his attention was on her again. "Not getting tired of this old mech's stories? I'm surprised."
She quickly shook her head. "N-not at all. It's not every day I get to learn about a new planet and aliens, you know? Even… if I am one technically." Even if these tales did intimidate her a bit, they were interesting nonetheless. She could tell Ratchet had been through a lot, but he enjoyed talking about his experiences.
The old bot changed the subject, coming around her on the table and poking something at the back of her neck. "Bee told me you haven't been able to enter stasis very well."
She hesitated before speaking, not too sure how to put her feelings into words. "I'm not really sure what I need to do. Eventually I just get so tired I feel like I pass out completely, but that usually takes a while. Most of the time I feel uncomfortable."
Ratchet raised a brow plate. "Uncomfortable?"
She felt herself getting embarrassed by her predicament. She was used to being against something like a pillow or holding something in her arms when she slept, which is why she liked the wall to rest her head against. She always had a hard time falling asleep early on as a human. When she'd gone through high school, she had been diagnosed with insomnia. She found techniques and it got better as she got older, but now it seemed like it was coming full circle. "I like to sleep against the wall. I don't really… understand why but it feels more comfortable to be surrounded. I feel less afraid I guess."
A small smirk came to the doc's face. He was definitely finding this amusing. "And what exactly are you afraid of here, Rachel?"
She gave a small shrug, her head lowering a bit in her shame. She let out a soft sigh as she told him. "Everything going on right now."
He stared at her and was silent for a short time before he finally spoke. "Maybe we could make some space for you. You should get your own quarters so you don't have to keep using Bumblebee's."
Her chest hurt at the thought of being by herself and secluded. She was an adult, and she knew she could take care of herself, but mentally at every moment she felt like she was ready to break. Being around Bee helped her keep her mind off the bad things.
Her mouth opened to speak, the only sound coming out being a croak. She had to think a little about what she was about to say so it didn't sound weird.
"Bee told me he didn't mind me staying in his room." she told him quietly. Her stomach area felt all warm when saying it. But she hadn't lied. Bee told her she could stay whenever she wanted. She was taking advantage of that generosity. "I don't mind it either."
Ratchet gave a small huff from her stubbornness. "Well then how do we fix this exactly?"
She began to think of what could possibly help the situation. Something to hold onto and hug up against would probably help. Though to these giant robots, there really was nothing soft or cuddly honestly. She wasn't sure what she would do.
She jumped a little when she heard Bumblebee calling her name from outside of the lab. He eventually poked his head in, looking to her with his big light blue eyes. "Everything going alright in here?" he asked.
She really didn't want to tell him how she wanted to stay housed in his room. She was already very embarrassed. "Ratchet was telling me about Kaon." Rachel told him with a smile, getting herself down for the lab table.
"You know Ratchet, there are much nicer places to talk about than Kaon."
Ratchet waved him off. "Oh, don't be smart with me. Every place on Cybertron has a history and importance. Kaon used to be a nice place."
Rachel gave a small smile, squinting her eyes at Bumblebee. "Seems like Bee here should be sitting in on these lectures. Could teach him something." she teased him. She would have to find more ways to tease him for the future. It was fun when she was the one doing it at least, not the other way around.
Bee gave her an unamused look, though his smirk was still bright on his face. "That's like asking me to jump into a tank of Sharkticons. No thanks."
Ratchet shook his head and waved them off. "Why don't you two go practice transforming for a while. I've got a major processor ache now."
Bumblebee took her wrist, pulling her along out of the med bay.
Rachel was surprised at him, feeling a bit flustered as he led her on.
"So, think you have made any progress since last time we practiced?" he asked her as they made their way toward the large hanger they used for most of the training.
"I actually wanted to talk to you about that." she muttered.
He released her hand and looked back to her, waiting for her to continue.
She had her head lowered a bit, but her eyes looked up towards him. "I had another one of those dreams again. I think I transformed in this one."
Bee was quiet. She couldn't quite read his expression, but it wasn't what she expected. It was sort of blank, but concerned. He tried to correct himself a bit by showing some sort of surprise."That's good news. I didn't expect your memories to be coming back so fast now."
"What's wrong, Bee?" she asked him. She knew there was something on his mind. He wasn't very good at hiding things from her.
He shook his head. "It's nothing. I just… don't look forward to you actually remembering most of the war. I'm sure you would benefit without the extra baggage." he said to her, continuing onwards towards their destination.
She followed beside him. She gave a small smile to him, in hopes of cheering him up a little. "You came out of the war and you're doing pretty good for yourself, aren't you?" she asked him. "You're usually cheerie, silly, and an ass sometimes even through the hardships. Heh, I could learn to stay this way as long as you help me."
The warm, glowing look he gave her made her chest feel hot. Overwhelmingly hot. "I'll do my best to keep you positive then." he said with a small laugh, giving the top of her head a teasing pat.
He turned the conversation back towards the training they were about to start. "So you actually remember being able to transform? Like the whole process of it?"
"I have a memory of it. It's like a weird muscle memory, but I just still have to figure out how to get from A to B." she told him.
"I think we'll have better luck this time around."
And she did to her surprise. After some more practicing with her weapons, she practiced the real thing with Bumblebee. Her first few attempts were only half transformations. A few times her legs would make it into a car form but her upper body wouldn't budge. She would lose balance and her face would go straight into the floor. Bee was trying not to laugh, but he was doing a pretty bad job at it.
When she was finally able to reach a full transformation, she couldn't do much yet. It would be like learning how to use a whole new body but with parts of a car now. Bumblebee did his best to explain it, but it was a little more complicated than just learning to walk all over again.
R ~~~
Rachel spent most of that day with lectures with Ratchet, and a good few hours with Bumblebee learning to transform. She honestly didn't think transforming would make her so tired, but once the wave of fatigue hit her, she fell hard.
She did notice the busy feeling in the air for everyone lately. After she had changed, everyone was hustling to round things up. They hadn't, or weren't going to tell her, but it was obvious the more she saw the others carrying cargo and supplies. They were leaving.
She had made up her mind that she wanted to see her home one last time. She had a way of hiding now, so it wouldn't be too much of an issue, would it?
She skittered into Bumblebee's private quarters and found her spot by the corner again. What awaited her was an energon cube and what looked like a makeshift bed. It wasn't angled strangely like the other stasis beds, but it was flat and pressed into the corner for her.
Her chest felt fluttery at the generosity. She went to make herself comfortable in her spot, taking a few sips of the energon here and there. The stuff was refreshing and rejuvenating. She honestly thought she would hate the it, but with whatever taste receptors this body had, they definitely agreed with this yummy treat.
She was caught off guard as Bee entered the room. It made her wonder if it was him who set this up or Ratchet. Unless Ratchet had told Bumblebee everything she'd said. She gave an awkward smile to him.
"Like the bed? Ratchet told me you wanted to stay in here. He also told me more about your sleeping issues." he told her.
She felt heavy and her chest felt like it was twisting. She was glad he had done this, but she wished she had some sort of privacy when talking to these robots. She knew Bee wouldn't understand the implications, but it still made her flustered that he knew how much she wanted to stay in his room.
He made his way over and sat beside her on her makeshift stasis bed. If she was going to be honest, it made the situation even more heated for her.
"Missing your old room, I'm assuming?" he asked her.
"Yeah. And home. I miss having my real bed and real food. Can't really have either of those now though."
"It's… still possible. You can have that again in the future." he corrected her, leaning forward a little from the wall to look at her directly.
"I don't know, Bee. I want to believe it's possible, but…" she paused. She didn't want to tell him she thought they were all lying, but she had her doubts. They were wanting to leave this planet and return to Cybertron. However long that would take. Years, centuries? If that were the case, she would never be able to see her mother again. Her mother might be gone way before Rachel would be able to return to this planet.
"Maybe we could visit my home city? One last time?" she asked, giving her head a small tilt in question to him.
His mouth parted to speak, but nothing came out. Finally after some consideration from him, he was finally able to spit out an answer. "I dont...I-I'll have to ask Optimus."
"Bee, I know what's happening. Don't pretend I don't know you are all planning to leave soon." her gazed lowered a little to the ground as she brought her knees up to her chest a little tighter. "I want to see my home again. One more time." she felt like she was choking on her words a little. She wasn't able to cry as she was now, but her emotions still were capable of portraying the sobbing of it. She just didn't have tears like a human.
Bumblebee remained silent and let out a long sigh. It didn't take much convincing from her, but he seemed to give in a little. "I'll see what I can do." he said quietly.
"Thank you." she thanked him. Rachel hesitated for a moment, deciding to lean against him, her cheek resting on his shoulder.
"Rachel…?" he asked her, looking a bit confused.
She didn't know how to explain it to him. She felt so awkward now but she really wanted this moment. "Can we just stay like this? Please?" she asked quietly.
She felt like her whole entire body was burning with embarrassment. She was stiff and unsure at first but eventually was able to relax against him a little. She had to admit, it was much better than a wall.
He seemed unsure on what to do with himself. "You okay?" he asked her.
She gave a soft smile to him, looking up to him from his shoulder. Her arms wrapped around his one, using it as something to hold onto. She noticed a smile tugging at his own mouth from what she did. She let out a relieved, tired sigh. "I am now."
