May 1975.
Bellatrix gave a sigh as she woke, as the world around her gradually sprung into life. She remained still for a moment, her eyes closed, and felt the soft breeze from the open window sweep across her face, listened as the birds chirped in the trees. She was grateful that it was still possible for her to hear and to feel, that she had survived the previous night. In the two years since Bellatrix had taken the Dark Mark, she had never come quite as close to losing her life before. She realised, as she lay there in the sumptuous surroundings of her bedroom, that she had always had a childish view of death; she had somehow thought herself to be above it, as if it were only something that happened to the weak, to the powerless. But as Dorcas Meadowes had pointed her wand at her...Bella had been convinced that she was about to lose her life. She made a silent promise then that she would never let it happen to her again.
Bellatrix finally opened her eyes, and turned slightly to see that someone had placed a lily on her bedside table. She reached out and gently brushed it with one finger, giving a small smile. Beside the bed, Narcissa sat slumped in the chair in the corner. She was sleeping soundly, her chest gently rising and falling, and Bellatrix was somewhat touched at the fact that she had stayed with her for the entire night. Bellatrix climbed out of the bed and gently woke her up, stepping back as Narcissa opened her eyes and stretched her arms above her head.
"I'm sorry to wake you, Cissy. You didn't look very comfortable."
"I wasn't." Narcissa gave a yawn, pressing the back of her hand against her mouth. "How are you this morning? I hope you aren't too shaken after last night." Bellatrix perched on the edge of the bed, and ran a hand through her hair.
"I'm fine. I...I'm grateful to Rodolphus for saving me...I can't really explain how scared I was."
"I saw Lucius when I arrived here...he said that she hurt you quite badly. I was worried about you."
"Yes, she did." Bellatrix shifted slightly. "Narcissa...does the Dark Lord know what happened to me?"
"The men took you to him straight away, the Dark Lord made instructions for your care himself." Narcissa replied. "He is...he is very angry and concerned about what happened, Bellatrix. He is making plans to ensure that nothing similar happens again..."
"I am glad of it." Bellatrix gave a small smile. "I am so grateful to him for all that he does for me. I trust him to do what is best."
Narcissa looked uncomfortable for a moment, before turning her head to look out of the window. Bellatrix watched her sister, who was deep in thought, smiling at her when Narcissa turned to look at her again. Narcissa, however, looked solemn and grave.
"Bellatrix...tell me truthfully, what are your feelings for the Dark Lord?"
"I am his humble servant and he is my master. I would do anything to serve him; I would die if it were his will."
"That is an answer that Lucius would give me." Narcissa said, frowning. She stepped forwards and sat next to Bellatrix on the bed, gently placing a hand on her older sister's cheek. "But that is not all you feel, you are not the same as Lucius, as any of the other Death Eaters."
Bellatrix placed her feet on the bed and raised her knees, resting her chin on them and wrapping her arms around her legs. She had never taken a moment to try and analyse it before; Bellatrix was almost afraid to really reflect on it, frightened of what she might discover. She gave a sigh.
"I can only suppose that I love him." Bellatrix said quietly. The words hung heavily in the air, as if they were bearing down on their shoulders. Bellatrix longed to swat them away, to snatch them and stuff them back inside of her mouth, to swallow them.
"Love?"
"But it isn't like your love! It isn't the love that you and Lucius have." Bellatrix stood up and began to pace the room, wincing a little as her leg gave a slight twinge of pain. "It isn't innocent or happy or pleasant...I don't seek domesticity, I don't seek a home...I don't want a family or a future or...my love for him makes me mad. It's snatched my heart and my mind and my soul, until I am this empty shell that only exists to be filled by him. My love burns me, Narcissa, but it does not keep me warm. It only leaves me cold."
Narcissa stared at her sister silently, her eyes wide with shock at the passion of Bellatrix's words. She stepped forwards and took Bellatrix's hands in hers, squeezing them tightly. Bellatrix did anything she could to avoid meeting her eye; she looked around the room, her eyes flicking from the ceiling to the curtains, to the view of the moors from the window.
"This is dangerous." Narcissa whispered, her tone almost pleading. "You cannot lose yourself to him, Bellatrix...that isn't what...it isn't safe."
"No danger can befall me with the Dark Lord as my protector, Cissy." Bellatrix replied, smiling fondly. "You worry too much."
"Are you forgetting what happened last night so quickly? Where was the Dark Lord to protect you then?" Bellatrix dropped her sister's hands and stepped away from her, her eyes narrowed.
"You are too frank, Narcissa. If the Dark Lord heard you...your punishment would be severe."
"I am not one of his men, Bellatrix, and I will not be frightened by your threats. I care for you; I want you to be safe. What will happen when people realise how important to him you are? What will happen to you when they realise that you are his only weakness? I fear that they already have, that this is just the beginning..."
"He will protect me." Bellatrix repeated. "I trust him to do what is best for me, Cissy. He will do whatever he can to keep me close. I trust him."
"It seems that it is not me who you are trying to persuade, Bellatrix." Narcissa said quietly. "It sounds as if you are only trying to convince yourself." Narcissa walked over to the door and placed her hand upon the handle. Before she left, she turned her head slightly to look at her older sister, and Bellatrix suddenly felt so inferior. There she stood in the centre of the room, wearing a white nightdress with her hair tumbling about her shoulders, pale and weak, alone and insecure. And there was Narcissa, the image of health, of beauty, of youth, with a husband who loved her and more confidence than Bellatrix could ever hope to have.
"There is something else you wish to say to me." Bellatrix muttered. "I can see it bubbling on your lips."
"I only wish to warn you. If he falls, Bellatrix, if he falls...then he will surely drag you to hell with him."
Bellatrix stared at her sister for a moment, her nostrils flared and her face pale.
"Get out." She hissed angrily, picking up a hairbrush from the dressing table and throwing it at the door just as Narcissa shut it behind her. "Get out."
When Bellatrix ascended an hour later, she was surprised to find that the house was unusually quiet. She breakfasted alone in the dining room, and a search for Narcissa revealed to her that her sister was nowhere to be found. Returning to her room, Bellatrix could not ignore a heavy feeling of suspicion and of fear that seemed to settle in the bottom of her stomach. She tried desperately to shake her anxiety, but was unable to concentrate on her book, and was reduced to staring at her reflection in the mirror, tapping nervously on her dressing table. When she returned to the main part of the house for dinner, however, Bellatrix found that the house was bustling. A Death Eater meeting had evidently been called, and she took her usual place near the top of the table. Her nervous feeling only increased, when some of those gathered were whispering and staring at her. The Dark Lord swept into the room, accompanied by Rodolphus Lestrange, and held up his hand to silence them. Rodolphus sat opposite Bellatrix, and bowed his head in a curt nod.
"Good evening, friends and loyal servants – tonight is one of good news. Firstly, I wish to share our success when, last night, a group of dedicated followers were able to dispense with two more members of the Order of the Phoenix – Gideon and Fabian Prewett. Two men, who were enemies to many of you, are dead." There was a rumble of appreciation, including a smattering of applause from one section of the table. The door opened and, like many others, Bellatrix turned to see Narcissa sheepishly being guided into the room by Lucius. She bowed her head apologetically to the Dark Lord, but he did not seem to notice. Bellatrix narrowed her eyes questioningly, only to find that Narcissa was purposefully avoiding her gaze; Bellatrix turned to face the Dark Lord again. "And now for the second piece of good news. It gives me great pleasure to announce the engagement of two of my most loyal and dedicated followers – I bid you all to congratulate Miss Bellatrix Black and Mr Rodolphus Lestrange on their engagement, which has been finalised only this very afternoon."
The quiet round of applause seemed almost deafening to Bellatrix as she stared hopelessly at the Dark Lord. She felt a hand on her shoulder suddenly, and turned to see that Rodolphus had moved to stand behind her. He was looking around the room with a grin on his face, laughing at the lewd cries of some of the Death Eaters.
"You will, of course, all be invited to our wedding, which will take place in a matter of months." Rodolphus announced joyfully.
"I am sure you will agree," The Dark Lord said slowly, "that Bellatrix will make a lovely bride."
Bellatrix suddenly leapt to her feet, causing Rodolphus to drop his hand from her shoulder. She looked around the room, barely able to prevent her lips from trembling, before turning to her sister as if for help. Narcissa simply shook her head and looked away, an expression of her pity upon her face. Bellatrix looked again to the Dark Lord, but he stared straight past her.
"Excuse me..." She said, walking slowly from the room. As soon as the door shut behind her, Bellatrix broke out into a run. She sprinted down the stairs, slamming her bedroom door shut with as much force as she could muster. Withdrawing her wand, she sent all kinds of hexes and curses rebounding around the room, watching with satisfaction as her curtains burned to embers and her pillows exploded in a cloud of feathers. She fell to the floor amidst the rubble of her destroyed room, and waited for the tears to flow, but she was far too enraged to cry. She simply felt hollow. She was not sure how long she had been sitting there before the door opened, but she turned to find the Dark Lord standing in the doorway. He looked around the room, as if nothing was amiss, before stepping over an upturned chair.
"Why?" She hissed. "Why?"
"I believe it is for the best, Bellatrix. Rodolphus is a good match – it is an excellent union that will only strengthen our cause. Look to your sister, her match has made her husband stronger."
"Is that all I am good for?" Bellatrix barked, clambering to her feet. "Have I served my purpose in that respect for you? I made you stronger, and now I must do the same for some other man? What about me? Who will do that for me?" The Dark Lord gave a gentle flick of his wand, casting a silent Crucio and sending Bellatrix to her knees. He waved it again and ended the spell.
"How dare you speak to me in such a way?" He said venomously. "I am now convinced that this engagement is for the best. You seem to be in need of humbling, in need of a reminder of who precisely is the Master here, of who is the Dark Lord." He waved his wand, and Bellatrix felt a searing pain in the place of her Dark Mark. She gave a moan of pain and clamped her hand over it, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.
"I am sorry, my Lord." She pleaded, her voice trembling. "But why must you punish me in this way? Why make me marry Rodolphus Lestrange? I thought that...I had hoped...I love you, my Lord, can't you see that?" The curse ended, and Bellatrix flopped backwards with a sigh of relief. She closed her eyes and licked her lips, as the Dark Lord watched her silently.
"Stand." He commanded after a moment.
Bellatrix did as he said, her knees wobbling slightly. He swiped his wand briskly through the air, banishing Bellatrix's robes until she stood completely nude in the centre of the room. She closed her eyes as he approached, flinching as he lifted his arm before bringing it down again, sending what felt like the lash of a whip across her back. She gasped as he did it again and again, the crack of it resounding loudly around the room – it sounded, Bellatrix thought to herself as she cried out with the pain, like a clap of lightning. Bellatrix opened her eyes as he reached round and roughly grabbed her breast, before bending his head slightly and fixing his mouth around her nipple. She hissed as he sunk in his teeth, resisting the urge to push him away.
"Please, my Lord..." She whispered. "I don't want to do this...not now...please."
"Silence." She gasped as he dug the heels of his palms into her shoulders and pushed, driving her backwards until her back made contact with the wall. She closed her eyes as he planted a series of bites along the length of her neck, his hands wheedling between her legs, nudging her legs apart. "Have you forgotten so quickly, Bellatrix, that you belong to me? You are mine, and I shall do with you whatever I choose." He thrust into her suddenly and mercilessly, sending her head backwards so it collided with the wall. He grabbed one of her wrists and lifted it above her head, placing his other hand behind her knee and lifting her leg.
"No..." She hissed. "No."
"Love," He grunted, pressing his thin lips against her ear, "is the emotion of a fool. It is an abominable weakness, one that is to be derided and not celebrated. You would do well to learn that, Bellatrix."
"But I thought..." Bellatrix replied, feeling the splash of hot tears on her cheeks. "But I thought you loved me."
"I have never loved you, and I never shall. You are a plaything, Bella, a loyal follower and a vicious warrior. But I do. Not. Love. You." He came to a juddering climax, thrusting into Bellatrix more violently and forcefully than he had ever done before. They stood still for a moment, Bellatrix's face turned away from him, her eyes screwed shut. He stepped away from her, turning without a word. He stopped before he opened the door, turning to face her. His expression was thunderous, filled with a combination of disappointment and disgust. When he spoke, his voice sliced through the air like a dagger. "That was the last time, Bellatrix. Do not come to me; do not ask anything of me. Tomorrow you will return to the room that you had when you first arrived here. Any refusal will only be met with further punishment." He left the room, the door clicking gently behind him. Bellatrix did not move, but she simply sank slowly to the ground, her legs folding beneath her. She reached over and grabbed a discarded blanket from its crumpled position on the floor and threw it over herself, leaning her head back against the wall, closing her eyes, and willing the world to disappear.
She did not leave the comfort and safety of her bedroom until the following afternoon, when the house elves arrived and once again transferred her belongings across the house. The room was bare and cold, and it was almost as if every piece of meagre furnishing was mocking her, deriding her for her fall from grace. After eating lunch there alone, she dressed in her finest clothes, did her hair and put on her makeup, before leaving the room and walking determinedly to the third floor of the house. She knocked on the first door of that corridor three times, before stepping backwards and folding her arms across her chest. Rodolphus Lestrange answered the door moments later, a baffled expression on his face that disappeared when he realised it was Bellatrix.
"I expected that you would wish to see me at some point today. Do come inside." Bellatrix slipped past him and strode into the middle of the room which, she noticed, seemed to be better furnished than some of the others; it was not quite as plush as her own had been, but there were still some luxuries that were not afforded to the typical Death Eater.
"I suppose all of this was a gift." She stated, motioning to the room. "A reward, for agreeing to take on a wife."
"I shall not lie to you, improvements to my bedroom were amongst some of the things that the Dark Lord offered me in exchange for my engagement to you."
"Will it be worth it, do you think?" She hissed. "Will the satisfaction of your greed be worth a marriage you do not desire?"
"Do not look down at me, Bellatrix. Your high position among the Death Eaters was gained by compromises you did not desire, I do not doubt, and greed was ultimately what provoked you to topple from it." Bellatrix felt her face flush a little, and Rodolphus laughed. "Hmm, you aren't so quick to bark when faced with the ugly truth, are you? Now, did you only come here to shout at me, or was there something else you wanted?"
"I want you to call off the engagement, to say that you have changed your mind and you no longer wish to take a wife."
"You and I both know that to do so would be a grievous disobedience against the Dark Lord, for which we would be severely punished. How about you ask for something a little more reasonable?"
Bellatrix sat down on the nearby chair without asking, eliciting a smirk and a raise of his eyebrows from Rodolphus. She folded her arms and gave a sigh.
"I want you to be fully aware that this sham of a marriage does not entitle you to anything. You do not control me – you have no say on what I do, or who I meet, or what I say...I will continue to serve the Dark Lord...I will still do whatever he asks of me."
"Those are all acceptable terms, Bellatrix." Rodolphus replied simply. "This engagement is not intended to diminish your freedom, but to increase it. I don't think you fully understand the situation."
"Well then explain it to me." She retorted tartly.
"I am afraid I cannot – it isn't my place." He turned away from her and walked towards a chest of drawers, opening the top one and removing a small black box. Standing in front of her, he opened it to reveal a small diamond engagement ring. "A ring is, I believe, usually given in such circumstances. It belonged to my mother, and has been in our family for centuries."
Bellatrix removed the ring from the box and slipped it onto her finger, watching as it magically shrunk to fit. She held up her hand and watched the diamond sparkle in the sunshine. Too many thoughts rushed through her brain; it was almost as if a crowd of people was shouting in her head, vying for her attention, demanding her to listen. One voice was decrying the injustice that this engagement was the very thing she had joined the Death Eaters to avoid. Another fretted that there was something amiss, that there was something about this situation that they were hiding from her. And finally, there was a voice to which Bellatrix would never listen again; after the previous night, she would never dare to speak what this voice whispered to her – she wished that it was the Dark Lord who was offering her this ring and, for a very long time, she had had great hopes that he one day would. Bellatrix rested her left hand in her lap, placing her right on top of it and looking at Rodolphus.
"What would we have said," She said, with a small smile, "if someone had told us back in our fifth year of Hogwarts that we would be forced to marry?"
"I don't doubt that I would have sent a Cruciatus curse in their direction and laughed about it afterwards." Rodolphus smiled down at Bellatrix, and she could see that he was sort of handsome. He had sandy blonde hair and wide green eyes, with a strange sort of hair of liveliness about him, that could almost have made him seem twitchy, were it not for the grin that accompanied it. "Let's try and co-operate, Bellatrix. At least if we are able to foster some kind of friendship it will not be too unpleasant, and with any luck we shall swiftly be able to regain your favour with the Dark Lord."
"Very well." She replied after a moment. "I suppose it can do no harm." Bellatrix extended her hand expecting Rodolphus to shake it, and was shocked when he took it in his and lifted it to his lips, placing upon it a tender, and yet somehow ominous, kiss.
