Hunnigan wouldn't have agreed to drive if Helena hadn't insisted that she'll be fine driving on her own, even if getting the car into gear would prove to be a challenge. The last thing Hunnigan wanted and needed was to worry about Helena's driving, so she'd sucked it up and said she'd do it.
"I'd say you drive like an old lady, but three of them just passed us," Helena teased, but Hunnigan wasn't laughing.
"I told you," she said tensely and Helena frowned, but didn't comment, obviously this was a sore spot and she decided to let it go. Frankly, the traffic was unusually slow and it had nothing to do with Hunnigan's driving. A few moments later Helena realized what the problem was; there'd been an accident.
"Whoa, I don't think anyone walked away from that," Helena mumbled as she stared out of the window at the mangled car. It was crumpled like a paper mug and literally in two pieces.
"I wonder how the hell they managed that," she commented, but Hunnigan wasn't paying attention, she was barely hearing Helena.
...she's going into cardiac arrest...
"...and I wonder what they hit, there's practically nothing else here."
...we're losing her, we're going to need to...
"Hunnigan?"
Her ears were ringing and Helena's words were muffled, almost inaudible and unintelligible. Cold sweat rose to her skin and her muscles felt weak, like she'd overexerted them somehow. Then the dizzyness swept over her and she realized she'd forgotten how to breathe.
"What's wrong?" Helena frowned and reached to grip Hunnigan's shoulder to snap her back into reality. Hunnigan pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car, walked to the back of it and leaned against it, tilting her head far back and took a few deep breaths.
"You wanna tell me what happened?" Helena inquired after getting out as well and copying Hunnigan's pose, leaning into the car.
"I'm okay."
"If you say so, but I know what anxiety attack looks like... and feels like. Just saying, if you want to tell me what it's about..."
"Let's not go there unless you want to walk the rest of the way."
"Hey, you put the car in gear and I'll drive," Helena smirked and Hunnigan let out an amused scoff.
"Probably better that way, huh?"
"You don't have to go into the details, you can tell me later if you feel like it. Take your time, I'm not in a hurry."
"I think... if you really meant that you can drive yourself, I'll... walk the rest of the way."
"I told you, I can. But are you sure you want to walk, I mean..."
"Yes, definitely," Hunnigan nodded eagerly, her eyes closed, swallowing hard against the uncomfortable feeling in her throat.
"I'd feel pretty shitty just leaving you by the side of the road, though."
"This isn't about you!" Hunnigan snapped and Helena's eyebrows rose in surprise at the other woman's reaction. Hunnigan sighed and held up her hand to pre-emptively silence Helena's comments.
"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. Just... drop the subject, I'll be fine and you can go."
"Fine, but if you're not at the office in twenty minutes, I'll come looking for you," Helena said.
Olivia stood on her knees, less than elegantly straddling the space divider between her and Hunnigan's desks. She knew exactly how bad and weird it looked, but she was on a mission. She'd made a vow that Hunnigan would no longer be able to sneak up on her and startle her when she came into the office. Grunting a little, Olivia reached over to give her installation the finishing touches and once the mirror facing the doorway was straight, she sighed happily. It was proving to be useful immediately, she noticed, when she saw Helena pause in the doorway and smirk.
"Well, this is an interesting sight, I won't tell Hunnigan you molested her desk if you agree that I no longer owe you that two hundred dollar hot dog," Helena commented as Olivia climbed down.
"Not a chance because if you tell her, she won't even be surprised," she said confidently and Helena laughed softly.
"True. So, now you can get up to your shenanigans without having to worry about someone sneaking up on you."
"Something like that. Why are you here, you're supposed to be on sick leave?"
"I came into town to go apartment-hunting and to get my hair washed at the hair dresser's. Have you ever tried washing your hair with only one hand? It's surprisingly difficult," Helena responded.
"This isn't the hair dresser's," Olivia pointed out, her eyebrow quirking.
"Well, no, I'm waiting for Hunnigan. She said she'd drive me, but something happened and she... I don't know, we passed a car crash and she got really anxious and said she'd walk, so..."
"So, you wanted to make sure she gets here, I understand that."
"Yeah, she was pretty bent out of shape."
"PTSD?"
"No, not quite, but definitely bad memories," Helena muttered, shrugging her left shoulder.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't go around telling everyone and their mother about my anxiety attacks," Hunnigan commented somewhat venomously, making both Olivia and Helena jump a little. Olivia's mirror only worked if one paid attention to the mirror.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"Forget it. Now, was there something you needed or can I get to work?" Hunnigan then dismissed and Helena sighed. This day was not going well at all.
"I'll be on my way. See you later, okay?" she said and exited the office.
"What?" Hunnigan asked from Olivia as she slumped into her chair, fully aware of the look of disapproval she was receiving from the younger woman.
"You didn't have to snap at her like that, you know?"
"I'll snap at you if you won't drop it," Hunnigan rolled her eyes and opened her laptop.
"I see you helped yourself to a handful of bitchy-pills in the morning," Olivia mumbled, also turning her attention to her work, deciding it was better to let it go.
When Hunnigan got back home, she discovered Shepard hiding in the foyer and it took her a moment to realize what was wrong with the picture. The dog was hiding because the vaccuum cleaner was running and Hunnigan frowned.
"Helena, what are you doing!" she yelled over the sound of it when she discovered Helena cleaning up the living room. The younger woman turned the machine off and shrugged one shoulder.
"My taxes," she chuckled, "what does it look like I'm doing?"
"I mean, what the hell are you doing cleaning, you should be resting, that shoulder of yours isn't..."
"Isn't a problem," Helena interjected, "I'm not an invalid, I don't need both hands for this. Besides, I wanted to do something useful for a change, especially since I'm the one cluttering up the place. Well, me and Shepard... but I think she sheds more than I do."
"You're over-compensating! If you want to do something for me, stop making me worry about you by pulling off these unnecessary stunts."
"I'm vaccuuming, it's hardly a stunt," Helena laughed.
"Just, put it away and sit down before you break yourself further," Hunnigan sighed deeply, pushed her glasses onto her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Well, it was either this or make a salad, and the last time I did the latter, it didn't turn out so well," Helena jested with a smirk and Hunnigan had to chuckle at that despite making an effort to remain mad at the younger woman.
"Look, I'm sorry I made you worry and I'm sorry about being nosey earlier, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or disrespect any boundaries."
"No, it's okay, I'm the one who should be apologizing, I shouldn't have snapped at you before, you didn't do anything wrong," Hunnigan shook her head.
"You wanna tell me what happened?" Helena then asked quietly before beginning to put the vaccuum cleaner away. Hunnigan exhaled deeply and sucked on her teeth, shrugging a little.
"I guess I owe you an explanation," she muttered, "Sit down," she then ordered and Helena did as she was told.
"Well, 'owe' is a bit much, but I wouldn't mind..." Helena trailed off, swallowing the rest when Hunnigan shrugged off her jacket and began to undo the buttons of her shirt. Helena was about to look away when Hunnigan turned around and slipped the shirt off of her shoulders and let it slide down to her waist. A long scar ran across from below her right shoulder blade down to her hip, the ragged edges of the line implying it was not the result of surgery and professionally closed up, it was more likely from an accident.
"Remember that big brother I mentioned to you way back when?" Hunnigan asked over her shoulder.
"He did that?" Helena exclaimed.
"Hah, no," Hunnigan shook her head turning to face Helena.
"We were really good friends and we stayed in touch even after he was old enough to move out and live on his own. He was kind of troubled, liked mixing pain killers with vodka, but he was an okay-guy aside from that," Hunnigan shared and shrugged her shirt back on, not bothering to button it up since she'd change out of it in a moment anyway.
"He was a few years older than I and he moved to Colorado after he got some work there, and I made a habit of visiting him pretty often. When I got my license, I kind of fell into the role of being his designated driver," she went on and proceeded to take a seat on the couch.
"I was seventeen, lived a pretty sheltered life all things considered, so when my fun-loving big brother got the brilliant idea of getting wasted and driving up the mountains, of course I went along, because, hey, why not?"
"Don't tell me you were drunk."
"Of course I wasn't," Hunnigan scoffed, "but I also wasn't what you'd call an experienced driver, I wasn't paying attention to the right things... plus, my passenger was high and a bit drunk and he thought it would be funny to keep repeatedly poking me in the ribs to tickle me as I'm driving down a damn mountain and the road was practically a sidewalk," Hunnigan muttered and Helena nodded, silently waiting for her to continue.
"So, we were almost back, I'm dealing with Liam... that was his name... poking at me and I'm paying more attention to him than I am to looking at where I'm going, and... I hit a deer, lost control, swerved right off the road," Hunnigan continued.
"Oh, God," Helena whispered and waited patiently as Hunnigan took a moment to stare into the distance before closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. For a while, she was back in that moment, lying in the middle of rocks and dirt, she sickening sounds of metal twisting and glass breaking ringing in her ears.
"Liam went all the way down with the car, he got crushed in the wreck. I got lucky, I flew out through the window after a couple of tumbles, I assume that's how I got the scar, must've dragged against something during that, I don't know... doesn't matter."
Once the wreck had reached the bottom, everything had been silent for a while. Silent, cold, still. Then she'd been dragged back, yanked awake and introduced to a level of pain she hadn't realized even existed or was possible to live through.
"I was clinically dead for a while there, but someone saw the crash and had called for help, so... they got to me before I was past the point of no return, I suppose. And for the record, there was no light," Hunnigan said offering a lopsided smirk.
"That's what I said when I died for a while, but Deborah told me you don't get the light until you are past the point of no return," Helena countered and Hunnigan chuckled ruefully.
"At least you got that, I got nothing waiting for me."
"I was out of it longer than half a minute, my delusions had time to evolve into more," Helena tried joking gently and Hunnigan laughed a little.
"Could be."
"So, me pointing out that crash to you today triggered a flashback," Helena mumbled and Hunnigan nodded slowly.
"Something like that."
"I'm sorry I put you through that."
"You didn't know."
"Yeah, but I'm noticing that just by being here, I'm constantly pushing you out of your comfort zone, and it doesn't matter that it's not intentional, it's just... I'm sorry, Hunnigan," Helena whispered and rested her hand on Hunnigan's forearm, offering a gentle but a firm and reassuring squeeze, and Hunnigan put her hand over Helena's, returning the squeeze.
"Don't be sorry," she said, shaking her head a little before turning to look at Helena, "Frankly, I think being pushed outside my comfort zone is probably a good thing, I've been comfortable for most of my life, can't experience new things if I never do anything new... and going through the same old crap every day is more waiting to die than actually living, don't you think?"
"...does that mean there's a chance I could convince you to share your toothbrush with me?" Helena then jested, hoping to lighten the mood. Thankfully, it worked.
"Why don't you just spit in my mouth?" Hunnigan scoffed.
"Wow, all these things considered, you must really hate kissing," Helena teased.
"Are you seriously comparing your crimes against basic hygiene to kissing?" Hunnigan laughed.
"What can I say, I'm a romantic."
"You're being gross, not romantic."
"That, too," Helena agreed and laughed.
