The Key
Chapter 12
Tokyo was a lot noisier than Tomoeda, so the first night neither Yukito nor Touya slept that well. Considering sleep was not something they expected much of to begin with, this was not really a big issue, but nevertheless Touya was a bit grouchy on the second day.
Yukito, despite himself, felt very anxious about Syaoran, which annoyed Yue to no end. On the second night, Yue headed out and stood on the roof of the dorms, gazing, he felt, in the direction of Tomoeda. He was leaving his master behind; that was the only reason he felt anxious himself. He hoped that while Yukito was in college, Sakura would not have to face anything with just Kero. Or at least, if she does, Kero would be enough. The Sun Guardian was no weakling, but there was a reason Clow created two guardians and not just one.
At around three in the morning, Touya joined him.
" You know, it is very inconsiderate of you to choose a place like this." Touya complained. " It's easy for you to fly up here but it's not that easy for other people to join you."
" I came here for the solitude." Yue replied.
Of everyone who knew Yue, there were only two who could speak to Yue comfortably, or even yell at him. Kero was one. Touya, to Yue's chagrin, was the other.
" You know it's hard enough to sleep with the cars honking all the time and the ridiculous number of fire trucks." Touya sat down next to where Yue was standing. " But it gets even harder when I see you pining after that kid."
" I am not pining after anyone." Yue responded flatly.
" Iie? Then what are you doing?"
" Tokyo is far from Tomoeda. I worry for your sister."
" My sister is fine." Touya stared at Yue. " In fact, I'm pretty sure she would be the one protecting me, one day. Did you know what I was talking with my father about earlier?" His expression morphed into that of disbelief. " The kaijuu has apparently adopted her latent instincts. She and Kero tortured this talking bird for about four hours this afternoon."
Yue looked at Touya, finding what he said hard to believe. " Tortured," He repeated.
Touya explained what his father told him, ending with, " What did you guys do to the kaijuu?"
" I did nothing." Yue instantly said. " And in the world of magic, that is not torture."
" I'm sure." Touya replied gravely. " I'm sure the kaijuu is now capable of many things."
Yue did not answer.
" You're totally not worried about the kaijuu."
" Why do you say that?" The guardian asked, a little annoyed.
" Well, for one thing, except for that brief inquiry into piercing Li's heart, you didn't talk to my sister at all. You called Li."
" That was Yukito."
" Oh, like you couldn't have talked Yukito into chatting with my sister?"
A little alarmed at this revelation, Yue objected, " Li was more worrisome. He is at my house. And you were the one talking with your sister."
" Hai, hai," Touya patted Yue on the leg (he was sitting too low to reach any higher) " I was hogging my sister and wouldn't let you talk to her anyway. For long, but the point is you obviously didn't think about it."
Yue could not deny that. " I do not care for the boy more than I care for Sakura."
" You realize that I never accused you of it?" Touya scowled. " Look," He took a drink from his mug, " There's nothing wrong with caring for that kid. He's a sweet kid. Very resilient, very thoughtful of others. I feel sorry for him and all, but I can't help admiring how strong he is. I don't know what I'd do if my father died, or were hacked to pieces."
" You would be just as strong." Yue replied confidently. " And so would Sakura."
" Probably. I certainly would have friends, like you and Yukito." Touya agreed, " Whereas the kid does not have any friends to help him. But let's not talk about that, because I don't really want to consider how things would be if this happened or that. That's for when things do happen. The point is, what's there not to like about this kid?"
" I merely am not fond of him, as you all seem to be. He came into our lives, not his own fault, but I have no responsibility towards him." Yue then stared. " You brought tea with you to the roof?"
" Why? You want some?"
" I was just wondering why you would bother boiling tea and then bringing it to the roof with you."
" I anticipated a long chat with you." Touya pointed. He held up a large canister, showing the mug was not the only thing he brought with him.
Yue merely blinked. He felt it must be the Kinomoto gene, or maybe what they got from Nadeshiko, that made both Sakura and Touya at once so smart and so bizarre.
" Now what are we talking about," Touya paused. " Oh right. Responsibility. Well, do you only do things because you're incumbent or do you let your heart guide you for once?"
" I do not let my emotions control me."
" That much is obvious. But let's see, you're saying you only care about Sakura because she's your master and you only care about me because I'm her brother. That it?"
Feeling to answer would be dangerous, Yue kept silent.
" Listen," Touya said perceptively, " The kid is a descendant of Clow Reed too, you know. It's not just us that are linked. Not to mention, I know Clow Reed's death hurt you a lot–"
" I do not want to talk about it."
" Then your issues will never be resolved." Touya snapped. " Would you let me finish?"
Yue scowled.
" Now I won't pretend to understand what you're going through." Touya continued. " Living forever, watching people die; I bet when you were fading you were secretly welcoming it. You certainly didn't ask for help until I pretty much pushed you into it."
Again, Yue did not feel safe to answer. He could not look at Touya.
" Now I can't pretend to know Clow Reed either." Touya blinked. " Heaven forbid, I think I even met the guy himself, through Hiirigaziwa, and my dad's the reincarnation of Clow Reed, which is creepy, but I don't know how much alike they are and I can't tell you what Clow Reed's thought processes were, but I think it's a safe bet to assume he was a good man and a wise man. You and Kero are created perfectly for each other."
Yue sputtered, and Touya began laughing, " I mean, you two argue like an old married couple."
" Kero starts most of them." Yue replied childishly.
" Whatever." Touya chuckled. " The point is, he knew what he was doing when he created you and Kero. You both have such profound personalities."
Yue stared at Touya, thinking, Kero, profound?
" Now Kero's just as immortal as you are." Touya took another sip and began pouring more tea out of the canister. " He's alright, I think. He certainly doesn't seem to have any mental issues you seem to have. So I feel, Clow Reed wouldn't have given you the ability to feel without a good reason."
" To better serve the Card Master."
" Bogus." Touya replied. " As if loyalty cannot just be programmed."
" Sometimes just protecting is not enough. We need to understand."
" Which is fair." Touya tugged on Yue's robe. " Get down here!" He complained, patting the space next to him, as Yue was still standing. " I have to shout to reach you!"
After a long hesitation, Yue complied. There was a warm companionship feel to their positions now, so that Yue felt numb and uncomfortable. Touya continued drinking his tea, taking his time.
" Are you going to say anything now that I am here?" Yue demanded impatiently.
" Just putting thoughts into words, my friend." Touya swallowed another mouthful. " In any case, if all you're good for is protecting Sakura, how come you can feel emotions about other people?"
" What do you mean?"
" I mean, you can have that thing kids have towards their moms." Touya looked at Yue. " I know if my dad suddenly decided to marry another woman, you can bet he and I would never speak again. Loyalty towards your real mom. Loyalty towards your master. It's possible for Clow to make it so you don't feel any affection for anyone other than your master. That would certainly make things less complicated for you, wouldn't it?"
Yue was silent.
" But he didn't. That tells you something, doesn't it?"
" I feel like he made a mistake." Yue confessed quietly. " I am not strong enough. Kero is. But I am not."
Touya stared at him, then shoved the mug into Yue's hands. " I never see you drink. Drink. Now. In fact, let me get some beer."
" You have beer?" Yue blinked as Touya got up. " When did you get beer?"
" What did you think were in those bags that I got from downtown?"
" Soda!" Yue cried in dismay. " Chips! I did not know you went there for beer!"
" They were giving it out to us for free. I couldn't resist. Be right back."
But in the end, when Touya returned, neither of them opened the cans. settling with the tea Touya had boiled for himself. Touya gave the rest of his tea to Yue, who drank, probably for the first time in his life. The heat circled lazily in his core after he swallowed. He felt comforted by the warmth.
" Yue," Touya said at last, " I have a confession to make."
" You are not gay, are you?"
" Haha, wiseguy." Touya scowled. " That was so Yukito it's not even funny. Though it does lead me to one point. You and Yukito aren't that different."
" What do you wish to confess?" Yue interrupted.
" Well, the kaijuu and I had a chat about you, along with Kero, a long time ago. Before the kid came in and we realized the Li clan to be the load of bullocks that they were."
" Should I hear this?" Yue asked, feeling a little nervous.
" Well, we didn't just talk about you. Feel free to drop any dirt on Kero, since the only things we learned about him were through Sakura and through Kero's own accounts. In any case, he was saying how you were the youngest of all of Clow Reed's guardians. You also apparently took the longest."
" Why, because I was so difficult?" Yue responded flatly.
" Iie," Touya said slowly, " Wow, you're really down tonight aren't you? I was going to say, because Clow Reed was actually the most careful with you."
Yue did not answer.
" According to Kero, you were Clow Reed's dreams come to life. The perfect being. A tenshi. He wanted to make sure you were the most beautiful being on earth, the most beautiful thing he created."
Yue was drawn to the past, the distant hands leading his, guiding him, the gentle voice comforting him when he was nervous or scared, all that patience and attention devoted to him instead of the other guardians, the genuine delight and joy whenever he succeeded.
" He loved me. I knew that." Yue replied.
" Well. Kind of a bummer if all that was a mistake, eh?"
Yue released a soft sigh.
" Look, let me put it like this, buddy." Touya wrapped his arm around Yue's shoulders and stared off into the lights of Tokyo. " To put it plainly, we all have the same problem you have. When Oka-san died," Touya paused, " Well, it was hard on all of us. Otou-san, especially. But even back when he couldn't see ghosts, he's still willing to put pictures of her all around the house. They're reminders that she's no longer there, but then she is, you know. We all have different fates, different destinies, we're all going to die sooner or later, and those who die sooner leave those who die later to mourn. It's the natural order of things. Is mourning painful? Of course it is. I remember I couldn't go to school for a whole week. I was the kaijuu's age, you know. And it was peachy getting myself together again. Was even harder for Otou-san. Even now we still miss her, you know that. But doesn't stop us from loving who she was. Or who she is. Ghosts don't exactly visit indefinitely, you know. Eventually, she'll get reincarnated. We don't know when. But the point is we still love her, and the pain of missing her did not change that."
" You do not understand." Yue said wearily. " You know that at some point it will end. You will stop missing people. You will grow old, and as others grow old, you grow old with them. Growing old together, suffering the same things, and then it ends. For me," He looked off into the distance, " I keep thinking this is all I have. Cycle after cycle of watching people die, never stopping, doomed to never change even as the world changes around me. And I can't stand the thought of it, that this is it. This is my fate. And the pain only increases with time."
" You know what they say? We don't live for ourselves. We live for others. This long lifetime was given to you for a reason, and knowing my father, it's not just so a bunch of cards would be kept under control." Touya patted Yue's shoulder. " With reincarnation in mind, it never ends for us either. The only difference is we constantly forget all the joys and woes of our past lives, whereas you get to remember every lifetime. Think about what you want to remember in each lifetime, Yue. You can have a bunch of meaningless lifetimes, or you can have very rich ones without regret. It will hurt either way, trust me. On one hand, if you allow yourself to give, allow yourself to take what others give you, it hurts when they leave; true. But on the other hand, one day you're going to realize there were so many things you could have done that you didn't, simply because you were too scared. Take it from me; you won't be free from pain, since that's not really the point. Think about how you want to look back on yourself. Don't tell me you regret loving Clow."
Before Yue could answer, Touya left, leaving the cans of beer with Yue. The moon guardian looked in the direction Touya departed.
How did he want to look back? Did he in fact regret loving Clow? Of course not. But what about this child? The Key? Did he want to allow this child into his heart?
Yue was not sure.
oO
" Suzuki-san, Yamazaki-san, Yanagisawa-san, Tanaka-san," Lebedeva read on, " Please stay after class. I would like to talk to you about something."
Sakura and Tomoyo looked at Syaoran.
" Go ahead without me." He told them, as he followed the group to the teacher.
" The department is thinking about creating a math team for Tomoeda elementary." She said. " There is a competition coming up for elementary schools in Inuyama. It is in November. If we start now, I was thinking we can join. There's prize money involved. Are any of you interested?"
Suzuki looked at Yamazaki, who said, " I'm totally in."
" Hai, me too." Suzuki answered.
" I'm in." Yanagisawa instantly exclaimed. " This would be fun!"
" Suzuki-san can tutor us also." Someone said, as the rest expressed their willingness to join. Lebedeva looked at Suzuki, feeling that, indeed, there was something about that child that she could expect from someone like Li.
" Alright." Lebedeva announced, pleased. " Is it alright if we start tomorrow afternoon?"
Yamazaki glanced at Suzuki. " Er, there's soccer tryouts tomorrow."
" Alright. What days would be good for you?"
" Wednesdays."
" Thursdays and Fridays."
" Thursdays too, actually."
" Alright. How about we meet after school on Thursday? Sound good?"
" Hai!" The kids chorused.
Lebedeva smiled. These children were endearing, she decided. " Alright. Arigatou. You may go now."
The kids left, chattering excitedly about this new program. Lebedeva stopped Suzuki on his way out.
" Suzuki-san," She said to him, " I wish to tell you something first."
" Huh?" Suzuki gave her his full attention.
" You have a lot of talent." Lebedeva could say this truthfully. " I hope you realize this means you will have to help the rest of your team."
" Hai." Suzuki smiled at the praise. " I'll do my best, Lebedeva-sensei."
" Un." Lebedeva nodded. " Go have fun. Enjoy recess."
" Hai!" Suzuki left, feeling very happy that his teacher apparently liked him.
As the classroom emptied, a shadow fell over the teacher's desk. Lebedeva looked up in alarm.
" Tell me, what is the great Lady Aileen doing here in little Tomoeda?"
Lebedeva stepped back horror collecting in her stomach.
