Some Where I Belong
Chapter 12
Missing
"So he hasn't come and visited you?" Dr. Luthen asked.
Cloud shook his head. "It's been 3 weeks and I haven't had any contact with him. My youngest brother has talked with him, but hasn't been able to get through to him I guess. Yazoo told me 3 weeks ago that Zack had promised to come and see me and was pretty set on doing so, but something happened." He said looking down. "And he won't tell me what. I know he's hiding something from me."
Dr. Luthen nodded. "Why do you think your brother would hide something like that from you? And what do you think it is?"
"Yazoo doesn't want me to get hurt. And I honestly don't know what it could be that's keeping him from me." He replied.
"Have you talked to his brother, Angeal?"
"He doesn't come see me anymore either." Cloud said sadly. "I don't think he can face me knowing what's going with Zack."
"So the only outside person you have contact with is your brother?" Dr. Luthen asked.
Cloud nodded. "He informs me about what's happening on the outside and likes to keep me company. He also updates me with the latest news from the police. They still haven't found him." Cloud said sadly and sighed. "I don't think they'll ever catch him. They've been holding off on that house visit too. I think they're planning to make an unexpected visit."
"Well, try to have a little faith in our criminal justice system. I'm sure they'll catch the guy. And you shouldn't worry about the house visit. Your mother will take care of that won't she?"
Cloud nodded hesitantly. Dr. Luthen opened his file and began skimming through his papers. "These past three weeks you've made quite some progress. I'm impressed. You've also gained a few pounds, which is good. You've also been more open with me this past week. The other two you gave me hell which caused me to become cold and more analytical with you than compassionate. You're a strong young man, Cloud. You're going to make it."
"Thank you Dr. Luthen."
"Same time tomorrow?" He asked.
Cloud nodded and bid farewell. The door shut and Cloud fell back onto the bed and sighed. /A lot has changed these past few weeks. My relationship with Dr. Luthen has gotten so much better since our first session. I decided that if he's here, might as well talk to him. It gets lonely in here. And talking about my feelings has helped me somewhat. But nothing can take away this feeling of abandonment. Zack? Where are you? What's happened? Have you forgotten about me? / Cloud shifted in his bed and sat up. / Do you know...what's happened? Do you know what a complete stranger has taken from me? I may put up a convincing front, but inside I'm crumbling. Sometimes I can't even let Yazoo touch me because I'm afraid. The doctor can't get too close without sending me into a panic attack. The nurses can't inject me without tears bursting from my eyes. And you don't even know...how much I wanted my first time to be with you. /
Cloud felt the tears immediately swell up and start flowing down his cheeks. / Because...Because.../
"I love you so much!" He yelled and clenched his chest. / I love you Zack. You're the only person that's managed to hurt me this much, despite all the beatings and neglect. The heartache you've brought me makes those things seem so small. Why is it that every time I think I'm making progress, you shoot me down repeatedly? If you don't want me, then don't lead me on! Don't play with me! When you kissed me...when you said you loved me. What was that, huh? What the hell was it!? /
Cloud sobbed and slammed his fist down on the railing; he then lifted his head and looked out the window. / It's either I live with you or I die without you. / He felt his vision blur and he cried more. / I can't take it; I need to get out of here! I need to find Zack. / Cloud then ripped out the IV and other tubes; he quickly bent over his bed and looked under it to find his personal belongings. He then began to undress and change into his own clothes. When he was finished, he ran towards the door when it was suddenly opened. Cloud stopped when he saw Yazoo and the doctor. "So you've been informed, Cloud?" The doctor asked.
"What?"
"Mom signed you out. We're taking you home now." Yazoo said.
"Really?" Cloud asked hopeful and Yazoo nodded. "Yeah, come on." Cloud quickly followed Yazoo out the door and they began walking down the hall. "Make sure you get the bill!" The doctor reminded. Yazoo cursed mentally and smiled. "Ok!" He then turned to Cloud and said. "We don't have the money to pay the bill. Hey, what's wrong?" Cloud shook his head. "I just couldn't take it in there anymore. I have to see Zack." Yazoo nodded sympathetically. "Um, ok."
"Yazoo, don't lie to me anymore." Cloud said, his voice shaking a bit.
"What?" Yazoo asked.
"I know you know what's going on with Zack. Don't act like you don't. It's killing me, Yazoo. You have to tell me, I've got to know." Cloud pleaded.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Yazoo said, quickening his pace out the hospital doors. Cloud caught up quickly despite the difficulty; lying in a hospital bed for three weeks didn't do wonders for the legs. Once outside, Cloud looked around and saw Sephiroth parked by the curb. "Get in bitches before they call us back to pay the bill!" He yelled and they quickly got in. Kadaj then pointed out. "Won't they just call the police and have them come over?" Sephiroth nodded. "That's why Angeal and Genesis are spending the night until they do. They'll get the bill." Loz laughed. "Sounds good to me!" Cloud gave Yazoo a stern look and they both knew their conversation wasn't over. "Sephiroth?" Cloud asked hesitantly. "What?" He replied. "What about Dr. Luthen? He'll be expecting to see me tomorrow." Sephiroth flipped his hair back. "He's already been informed that you've left. So you don't have to see that shrink again." Cloud looked down. "Oh..." Sephiroth looked at Cloud through the rear view mirror. "Sad are we?" Cloud shrugged. "I got used to him."
Sephiroth Hn'd as he pulled into the drive way. "Get out!" They all quickly got out of the car and walked into the house. When they got inside, Cloud spotted Angeal and Genesis lounging in the living room. Angeal looked like he was pretending to concentrate on the television and Genesis was reading Loveless. They looked up as we walked in. "Welcome back." Genesis greeted. Angeal stood up and looked hesitantly towards Cloud. Sephiroth plopped himself on the couch and snuggled into Genesis. "Traffic was a bitch." Yazoo, with a tinge of jealousy in his eyes, replied. "No it wasn't. We got here quickly, quit exaggerating." Genesis chuckled and Sephiroth glared. "Shut it." Cloud looked up at Angeal as he approached him.
"Hey Cloud, how are you feeling?" Angeal asked.
Cloud nodded. "Ok, I guess."
"Would you like to talk?"
Cloud looked up. "Yeah, actually I would."
Cloud then began walking out the front door out on to the porch and Angeal followed. "Make sure to shut the door behind you, please." Cloud reminded. Angeal shut the door and took a seat on the steps. He began with a sigh. "You're probably wondering why I haven't been visiting you." Cloud nodded silently. Angeal sat silently for a few moments. Cloud noticed the guilt spread across Angeal's face and could tell that he felt really bad. But what could have kept him away? His guilt or his fear? "I couldn't find the courage to look you in the eyes until now. You've been suffering for a very long time and have had the most terrible thing happen to you and for me to hold something inside of me that I know would only hurt you more, I just couldn't go back to see you."
Cloud hesitantly spoke. "What are you holding inside, Angeal?"
Angeal put his hand over his face. "I really don't want to be the one to tell you. I thought your brother, Yazoo, would've been able to, but he couldn't find it in his heart to do it."
"Angeal...you're scaring me." Cloud said confused. / What's going on? /
"Cloud, I'm so sorry. I really am." Angeal shook his head. "I'm so sorry."
"Angeal!" Cloud yelled, tears threatening. "Are you trying to tell me that Zack...Zack's dead?!" He began shaking violently. "B-because he just can't be! I won't believe it!"
Angeal quickly stood up and put a hand on Cloud. "No, no! Cloud, please calm down." Cloud pulled away from him violently. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" Angeal pleaded. "Cloud please, Zack's alive! You don't have to panic. He's ok! It's you that I'm worried about."
"I'm fine! J-just tell me what's going on. I'm dying here, I need to know!" Cloud yelled.
"Maybe, you should take a moment to calm down." Angeal suggested, worried. Cloud shook his head. "No! I don't need to calm down. Just tell me!"
"I really don't know how to say this." Angeal began.
"Just say it." Cloud whispered, breathless.
"That day Zack was supposed to visit you three weeks ago...something happened." Angeal started.
Cloud listened intently and felt his heart start to race. "What happened?"
"On his way to the hospital, he stopped." Angeal continued grudgingly.
"By what..." Cloud wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle it.
"By...Cloud please. I-I can't do this." Angeal said in aggravation.
"No. No, you can't stop. Keep going; I don't care if it hurts. I've got to know." Cloud said hopelessly.
Angeal took a breath and sighed. "Ok. He was stopped by a girl. Someone he knew from long ago."
"A girl?" Cloud's heart started to race faster as he took it into thought. / Does he mean...? /
"No, no, no, no, no, NO! It can't be." Cloud panicked.
"He was stopped by Aerith." Angeal continued.
Cloud felt his insides begin to rip apart and his head began to spin rapidly. "I-I can't ...." He began to hyperventilate.
"Cloud! What's wrong?" Angeal quickly ran to his side and Cloud shook his head. "N-no! Keep g-going! Don't s-stop talking u-until there's n-nothing left to be told!" He yelled, clutching his chest.
"No, I can't do that." Angeal said, attempting to help Cloud. "No! Don't t-touch me. J-just k-keep t-talking!" He demanded.
Angeal looked away, he felt disgusted with himself. He couldn't believe he was about to put this boy in more pain. "They've been going out ever since. Zack brought her back into his life. Not only that, but it seems that Leon and the rest of them are pleased and have apologized to Zack. They're inseparable." Angeal painfully stopped talking. "That's all."
Cloud clutched his chest and tried catching his breath, but couldn't. / How am I supposed to breathe with no air? How am I supposed to live without Zack? /Angeal wanted to comfort Cloud badly, but knew Cloud was distraught. "I'm all alone." He breathed. /He never cared, never. He'd been lying to me all along. I've been deceived and tricked. What a fool I've been all along. I can't believe I actually thought Zack would be my chance at happiness. He's become my ultimate source of sadness and suffering. /
Cloud stood up slowly and looked up at the sky. The clouds were black and the sky dark. "I thought you were supposed to be my angel, my savior." Angeal watched Cloud sadly. "Yet you took my heart and deceived me from the start. And yet you smiled every day I was in the hospital, dying inside and out. You've showed me no mercy or remorse. It was all just a LIE!" Cloud yelled towards the sky. He felt all sense leave him and became listless. It surprised him though when he didn't have a single tear to cry. He was done.
"It's over Angeal." Cloud said. "There's nothing left to say."
Angeal watched Cloud walk inside and shut the door. He then pulled on his hair in aggravation. He really cared about Cloud and even though everything he's done, he'll always love Zack. Angeal would never turn his back on his brother, which made him know he was either on one side or the other.
Cloud passed the living room without glancing at anyone; he began walking up stairs. He was then stopped Yazoo who was sitting on the top step. He then outstretched his arms towards Cloud. "Cloud..." His hands were immediately slapped away as Cloud passed Yazoo by coldly. The hurt was visible all over Yazoo's face. "Cloud?" Cloud didn't respond and walked into his room. He looked around and saw the room was just like he left it, broken. Cloud then walked to the middle of the room and lay down on the exact spot where he was raped. "This is how it should be, always."
Yazoo sat at the top of the stairs still in shock; Cloud never treated him that way, ever. He turned around when the front door opened and saw Angeal walk in and shut the door behind him. Angeal looked up and saw Yazoo looking down at him; he then walked slowly to the edge of the stairs. "I told him." Yazoo looked down. "I know." Angeal searched, but didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, Yazoo." Yazoo shook his head. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault, he had to know." Angeal then asked. "What now?" Yazoo replied. "He faces Zack and Aerith."
Angeal put a hand on his head and sighed. "Oh man."
"Don't worry; I'll be there with Cloud." Yazoo said. Angeal looked at him. "Maybe I should worry then." Yazoo looked at him questioningly. "Why?"
"You're very impulsive Yazoo and I don't want Zack or Aerith getting hurt." Angeal said sternly.
"Yeah, well I didn't want Cloud to get hurt either, but he did. And I can't help it if Zack and Aerith are going to pay the price." Yazoo threatened.
"You leave them alone." Angeal demanded.
"I don't think so. Like you said, I'm a very impulsive person and with just one spark of anger, I snap. If you want to protect them so bad, you'll have to fight me yourself." Yazoo glared.
"Yazoo..." Angeal tried reasoning.
"No! Cloud's hurt and it's all because of Zack and Aerith! I will not stand it!" Yazoo yelled forcefully and stood up. "I love my brother and you love yours and both of us will do whatever it takes to protect them. So come on Angeal! Show me what you can do."
"Yazoo, this is ridiculous stop." Angeal said.
"NO! I'm not going to stop! Never! Until Zack and Aerith get what they deserve! I don't care what I have to do to make sure it happens!" Yazoo screamed.
"Please don't do anything drastic." Angeal pleaded.
"I can do whatever the fuck I want!" Yazoo said and walked away into his room.
Angeal walked into the living room and saw Sephiroth watching reality TV shows and Genesis was reading. "Sephiroth, you have to talk to Yazoo. He wants to go after Zack and Aerith." Sephiroth shrugged. "The worst that will happen is that they'll get into a bitch fight." Genesis looked up. "I'll talk to him. He has no right to go after poor Zack." Angeal caught the sarcasm in his voice and watched as Genesis walked up the stairs. He reached Yazoo's room and knocked on the door. "Go the fuck away!" Yazoo yelled. "Tsk, tsk. Now is that any way to talk to me, baby?" He heard swift shuffling and smirked. Yazoo opened the door and looked down. "Sorry." Genesis walked in and Yazoo shut and locked the door.
"Angeal's upset that you threatened his baby brother. Now, babe, is that necessary?" Genesis asked.
"Of course it is! I'm going to kick Zack's ass!" Yazoo yelled.
"Calm down little one. You'll bust a blood vessel." Genesis wrapped his arms around Yazoo and smirked. "How about we have sex? That always makes you feel better." He leaned in and kissed Yazoo gently on the lips, but Yazoo pulled away quickly. "I'm not in the mood." Genesis persisted. "It'll help you relax." Yazoo shook his head. "I don't need to relax, I just need air. I'm going out." Yazoo said and walked past Genesis. "Yazoo."
"I'll be back." Yazoo then walked out of his room followed by Genesis; he reached the front door when Genesis stopped him. "Where are you going?"
"Out." Yazoo then pulled away from Genesis and walked out. Angeal looked at him. "I take that it didn't go well." Genesis shook his head. "He's being a brat."
Knock
Knock
Vincent answered the door "Hello?" "Are you alone?" Yazoo asked. Vincent nodded and let Yazoo in. "What's wrong?" Vincent asked. "We need to talk." Vincent nodded and led Yazoo to his room. "So what do you want to talk about?" Vincent said, shutting the door. "Vincent, I love you!" Yazoo yelled. Vincent froze. "W-what?" Yazoo walked over to Vincent and wrapped his arms around his waist. "I said I love you." Vincent gaped a bit; he wasn't expecting this. "Oh, wow. Um..." Yazoo then kissed him violently and said. "Let's have sex. I can't take it anymore; I need you." Vincent's eyes widened. "What? Now?" Yazoo nodded. "Yes! Come on, hurry!"
"Yazoo, please. Slow down." Vincent said.
"What?" Yazoo asked.
"You're taking this all too fast. You've got to calm down." Vincent replied.
Yazoo looked at him confused. "I thought you liked me?"
Vincent nodded. "I do! I adore you, but is this what you really want?"
"Yes!" Yazoo yelled.
"Ok then." Vincent laid Yazoo down on the bed and began removing his clothes. Yazoo felt his heart race; this is exactly what he needed, relief.
Cloud didn't move when he saw the sunlight shine through his window. He had been lying on the floor all night and his back was killing him. He noticed loud music playing from one of the rooms and assumed it was one of his brothers' radios.
I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else
Until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself
Today
He got up slowly with his eyes down casted. / This is it. / It had been a very long time since Cloud had been at school and he knew what would be waiting for him: Failing grades, lonely breaks, hungry lunches, hiding in the bathroom, Sam, humiliation,...Aerith and Zack's smiling faces. / I bet they're so happy right now, while I...drown in my misery. / He slumped his way into the bathroom and got dressed. After he was finished, he stared at himself in the mirror then looked down at the floor. This was where he had fought his hardest to escape from the rapist the very first time. This is where he had stabbed himself. This is where he tried to commit suicide over Zack. Cloud kneeled down and touched the wall slowly; he could see some of his blood faded on the walls. He then lifted his shirt and saw the scar where he had stabbed himself. /A permanent mark of the life I'd chosen to live behind. /
Cloud left the bathroom and picked up his bag; he walked down stairs, but stopped immediately when he saw the cops at the door. The cops looked up and spotted Cloud at the top of the stairs. "Cloud! Do you mind if we spoke for a minute? We know you're on your way to school." Cloud nodded lifelessly and walked down the stairs. Sephiroth gave him a look and Cloud walked past him. One of the cops then began speaking. "Well, at the moment we haven't made much progress. It's a possibility that your attacker fled the city; we're not sure, but we're looking though. Last time we spoke you were too distraught to give us a description of your attacker so we just went off the evidence we found in your room. Would you be able to give us a description now?" Cloud nodded hesitantly.
The artist took out a pencil and waited for Cloud's description. "He h-had light hair. L-light brown and h-his eyes were light brown too. He didn't have any facial hair, besides his eyebrows." Cloud stopped and the cop spoke and said. "What was the length of his hair?" Cloud replied. "A little above his ears, it was flat too." The cop nodded. "Any wrinkles?" Cloud shook his head. "Was he thin?" The cop asked. "Sort of." The cop nodded. "What about his nose, eyes and ears? Do you remember what they looked liked?" Cloud looked down. "Um, his eyes were a bit squinted, his nose a little long and thin. And his ears were small." The artist finished up the sketch and turned it to Cloud. "Is this what, he looked like?" Cloud felt the air get caught in his throat and his chest tighten as he stared at the picture.
Flashback
"Get off me!" Cloud screamed in desperation as the man placed himself on top of him. The man smirked as he watched Cloud struggle underneath him. "Now, now. Stop struggling, Blondie, and try to enjoy this will you?" He then began removing his belt and unzipping his pants. Cloud shook his head frantically and began crying. "Please, please don't! No..." The man put his finger to Cloud's mouth. "Shh." He removed his pants completely and reached for Cloud's pants and began unzipping them slowly. Cloud cried as he did this and pleaded. "You don't have to do this! Please! L-let me go!" The man then leaned down and kissed him; he then moved his hand under Cloud's pants slowly. Cloud shook his head violently and broke off the lip lock. "Help! Somebody h-help me! Please!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. This aggravated the man; he raised his free hand and slapped Cloud across the face. "Shut up you little whore! No matter how much you scream and holler, no one is going to save you. No one." Cloud was stunned. He felt all his strength and hope escape his body and laid there helpless.
End Flashback
Cloud immediately covered his mouth to stop himself from screaming and nodded. The cops looked at him strangely. "Are you ok?" He nodded frantically. "Y-yeah! I-I-I've got to go!" Cloud said and ran away from the house as fast as he could. The police looked at Sephiroth and he shrugged. "Doesn't want to be late." They nodded and said. "We'll be back after school, your mother will be here right?" Sephiroth nodded. "She should be." He then shut the door and locked it. "I haven't even finished my hair. Angeal and Genesis we're going to be late! I'm not fabulous yet."
Cloud broke down on his way to school and fell to his knees. His whole body was trembling and he couldn't stop sobbing. /AH!!! Why, damn it, why?! Why did this have to happen to me?! I just want to be happy like everyone else! Misery is no longer welcomed here! / He held himself and continued to cry. Cloud wasn't sure how long it would be until he tried to kill himself again. / Every single day is a nightmare, a nightmare I don't think I'll ever wake up from. I'm so hopeless...so empty. / Cloud stood up slowly and attempted walking again, but fell quickly on the ground. He slammed his fist on the ground and cried. / I can't go on anymore. I'm too weak. / He laid there on the ground lifeless when he heard a loud honk that made him jump up in shock. He turned to look and saw Sephiroth, Genesis, and Angeal in the car. "Get in loser, we're late for school!" Sephiroth yelled. Not moving from his seat, Genesis opened the door and Cloud scrambled into the backseat with Genesis. He shut the door and they sped down the street. "What the hell were you doing?!" Sephiroth glared at him from his rear view mirror.
"Giving up." Cloud whispered.
Sephiroth rolled his eyes and pulled into the parking lot. "Hurry up we're late, bitches!" They all got out and walked quickly up the steps into the school. Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis sprinted down the hall and left Cloud behind. Cloud looked up and saw his classroom; his heart began pounding in his ears and every step he took felt like he was dying slowly. / This is it. I'm going to see him. Oh my god, I can't do this! I can't! I CAN'T! Help...please there has to be another way. / He reached the door and stopped in front of it, just like he had on the first day of school. He sighed. / But there isn't another away and it has to be done. / Cloud opened the door and walked into the class.
Everyone stopped and gaped as they saw Cloud walk in, they couldn't believe he had shown up. Even Mr. Lazard was shocked. "C-Cloud, welcome back." Zack looked up from his conversation with Leon and turned to look at Cloud. Zack immediately felt his heart become heavy and sink; he didn't know what he could do. He could hardly breathe. Leon cursed under his breath, Reno chuckled and Vincent put his head down, feeling guilty. Cloud refused to look over at them and quickly sat down in his lonely desk. Tifa looked at him and raised her eyebrow. "So they finally let you out of the funny farm?" She asked which caused everyone to laugh. Yuffie then added. "You should wear your straight jacket to school. It'll become the latest fashion trend." Everyone laughed more and Cloud put his head down miserably on his desk. Tifa was about to speak again when Vincent interrupted.
"Tifa, that's enough. Cut it out." He said.
She rolled her eyes. "Get over yourself Vincent."
Reno then turned to her and said. "What he meant to say was shut up, hoe!"
The class erupted into laughter and Mr. Lazard quieted them down. Cloud did absolutely nothing, but sat there miserably. He couldn't take notes even if he wanted to. He was shaking uncontrollably from anxiety of being in the same room as Zack. The class ended quickly and Cloud ran out of the classroom. He fell to the floor in the hall and began hyperventilating. He didn't care who saw; he knew no one would ask him if he was ok. / How am I going to survive second period if I could barely handle first? I can't ditch. I've missed so much school, I wouldn't be surprised if they held me back a year. / Despite the pain he was feeling, Cloud got up regardless and began walking to second period.
He kept his gaze downward and didn't look up. Cloud walked into class and took a seat. Yet again he heard muffled chatter about him. He sighed; this was one of the classes he hated the most. Ms. Crescent always had an activity planned to ruin his day. It always involved speaking aloud to the class. / Great... / Cloud then felt something hit his arm; he looked down and saw a folded piece of paper. Curious, he opened it up and read it:
Hey,
If you don't mind, could you write something back?
--Vincent
/ I wonder what he wants. / Cloud quickly wrote back and tossed it to Vincent. Vincent opened it up and read it:
Ok...What's on your mind?
--Cloud
Vincent sat for a moment, struggling to find words. He didn't actually know how to say it lightly without being so blunt and forward about it. But there seemed to be no other way. He looked around to see if any of the 'Locs' were watching him before he threw it back. They weren't.
I wanted to know if you knew about Zack and Aerith. If you don't...I kind of wanted to let you know before you see them together and get hurt. Please don't be sad, it's not your fault at all! It's just Zack and Aerith have history and when Aerith left for awhile, she left on good terms with Zack. They were a couple for some time and Zack said he'd wait for her. The only reason they broke up was because Aerith moved away, not because they had difficulties. Aerith is a really nice girl and had no intention of stealing him from you, but it kind of happened. I'm sorry.
--Vincent
Cloud held the note in his hands and his mind went into a blur. / What is this exactly? Was Vincent trying to apologize for Zack, so I wouldn't be mad at him? S, that I could say it was fine and no hard feelings?! This is bullshit. Aerith had no intention of taking Zack from me, ha! She had every intention. When you break up with someone, it doesn't matter if you guys are still on good terms it still makes you SINGLE and available! Zack was single and available, so I took the plunge and we created a bond and yeah he was practically MY boyfriend not Aerith's. But she still considered him HER property. Bullshit. I'm going through HELL because of her. She's the reason Zack couldn't fully commit to me because he knew that she'd come back. /
Vincent grabbed the note before it hit his desk and opened it.
Don't apologize for something you're not involved in and, yes, I do know about Zack and Aerith. Thanks for the insight, I completely understand.
--Cloud
/ Like hell I do. / Cloud scolded.
Vincent smiled and nodded towards him. Ms. Crescent began teaching her lesson and that was the only thing distracting Cloud from throwing up in disgust. / Am I that unimportant?Am I so insignificant? That no one cares about my feelings... / Surprisingly, the period ended quickly and break approached. Cloud walked over to his usual corner and slumped sadly. He didn't know what to do; he feared that if he let his guard down for one second that Sam and his friends would attack him. Cloud was alert and scanned the hallways to find no sign of Sam. He wondered if it was because they had a new target, which he knew was Yazoo. That didn't make him feel better though; he worried about his brother's well being. Then, as if on cue, he spotted his younger brother walking with a group of his friends down the hall. As long as Yazoo had friends with him, Sam would leave him alone. Cloud sighed in relief and looked up. / Life is so pointless. / He thought. Everything just seemed so tedious at this point in his life.
Aerith cuddled up against Zack and smiled. "You're so unbelievably cute." Zack turned to her and smiled. "And so are you." He then leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Tifa sighed. "I just love a happy ending." Aerith smiled at her. "So do I." Reno rolled his eyes. "Would you stop with the romantics? It's bugging the crap out of me." Tifa scolded at him. "Oh shut up, Reno. Just because you don't have anyone." Reno laughed. "I've got plenty of ass." Leon sighed. "Enough. Reno just leave them be." Reno shrugged and began eating his chips. Vincent ignored them all and began thinking about his history homework. Leon then sat up and said. "Bell's going to ring soon. Let's start walking to class."
Cloud sat motionless on the floor in a daze when he felt an electric shock wave go through him. He looked up hesitantly and felt his heart stop in seconds. Coming down the hallway was not only the 'Locs', but Tifa and Aerith. She and Zack had happened to be holding hands. Cloud felt his head spin out of control and his heart dropped and shattered into a million pieces; he felt himself become numb and his breath was caught in his throat. His eyes immediately began to water and he couldn't stop the immense pain from going through him. It felt like 1000 daggers had been thrust into him all at once; he felt there was a giant hole ripped into his chest with sharpened edges. Cloud knew that this was it. / This is the day my heart stopped and never started again. /
The absolute worst part of it was that they all walked by without even glancing at him, with one exception. Aerith turned to Cloud with a smug look on her face and kissed Zack on the lips; she looked back at Cloud, then looked away and laughed lightly.
Please, Please
Forgive me, but I won't be home again
Maybe, someday you'll look up
And barely conscious you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing Me?
Even though, I'd be sacrificed
You won't try for me not now
Though I'd die, to know you loved me
I'm all alone
Isn't someone missing me?
And if I bleed, I'll bleed
Knowing you don't care
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there
Even though, I'd be sacrificed
You won't try for me not now
Though I'd die, to know you loved me
I'm all alone
End of chapter 12. Wow, this was a very emotional chapter to write. My heart hurts right now; I'm trying to keep from crying. Please REVIEW, it means the world to me. Oh, wow...this chapter really affected me. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW. I really need them. I'm absolutely nothing without them. I'd like to thank everyone that's been reviewing and reading. Also, I'd like to thank my beta and JEENOO for being such a great supporter. She's really helped out a lot.
Please vote in my NEW poll
Chapter 13 coming soon. Utter chaos.
Any personal thoughts? Any moments that got to you? Please let me know because this chapter really hit me hard.
