Chapter Twelve: The Blade That Stains Us

"That sensation of a void within which never left us, that irrational longing to hark back to the past or else to speed up the march of time, and those keen shafts of memory that stung like fire."-Albert Camus- The Plague

It's quite charming and deceitful- the snow. Snow is wild and untamed. But it easily masks its anger in the white sheets that blanket everything so gently. An underestimated force, a force so tranquil, so dangerous, it never begs attention, it simply gets it. It's always contradictory. Snow must be a woman…

The main problem with Janie is that she's fussy. See, she's fussy and fickle. It incites a peculiar sort of anger inside of me, like, some new strain of tapeworm that they haven't named yet. I find myself perplexed in deciding how to approach it. Do I kill her? Scare her? Do I need to put the hammer down? Maybe on her pinky finger? She pretends to be appalled by the decisions she makes and scolds herself for said choices. But her passion usually takes precedent. (It's interesting how quickly it can quash her indignation). She wants to give into the passion, but she withholds thinking that it will make her a better person. It doesn't. It makes her a frustrating person. But, lucky for her, it also makes her interesting. She's complicated and unpredictable like me. We're two of a kind in that we're nothing alike. And simultaneously we're exactly the same. I like that. But we need to work on our communication. That's our primary issue. She's just another girl who wants to rule the world and I'm just another psycho who wants to destroy it. Oh me oh my.

These issues are all just trifles, really. Janie and I are compatible relationship wise. I mean, I've got her. I'm not worried about that. I'm sure of this because it's not me keeping her around anymore. I'm not one to demean or belittle my exploits, but my attempts to manipulate and convince her to be wholly mine are futile as of late. The thing about Cherry is; she wants to swim, to sink in my pool- my world of dissolution and existential decadence.

Bill Withers says that there's no sunshine when his girl is gone. Well, I'm finding that when Janie's not around, I get restless. I'm always restless. But when Janie's around I can transfer all of that to her. She has a way of defeating it, calming it… or at least distracting me from it. I need that.

And now, once again she's flown the coop. There was no one in the closet I'd left her in. Dames I tell you. She did have the decency to leave my gun behind. But that opens the door to another possibility-she probably was taken. Maybe I could get an ankle brace or something to put on her? A lot of people put microchips in their pets. Good news is- the whole side of that building came clean off. It was beautiful and dramatic- nice and impressive. So much so, I briefly mused as to whether or not I had blown her up along with it. But the closet was still perfectly intact. She just wasn't in it.

I had monitored the activity after the explosion pretty well- Cobblepot didn't show up himself. This is the part where I insult his manhood- calling him a coward. (And he is) but this whole tête-à-tête he's putting on is just so boring. Everything is boring. I'm bored. Where's Batman? I was pretty shocked when he wasn't present at Arkham. This explosion had my name written all over it, literally. I signed my name on the wall in red paint…I don't understand why no one wants to own up to their true feelings. I mean, let's be honest- you know both Bats and Janie think about me at almost constantly. Why do they insist on fighting the inevitable?

Sadly, work requires I concentrate on Wobbles for a bit- at least in order to kill him. Firstly, he's a businessman. He deals in back alleys and in front of TV cameras. He owns three hotels and just recently opened a nightclub. He's a mobster, without the whole family thing to worry about. His gargly, muddled family accent comes from Leeds. He appeared a few years ago like most Gotham rogues after Fear Night. He popped out of nowhere and has grown in wealth and influence ever since. Yada, yada, yada…

The whole purpose of the explosion was to track him and his men back to where he holds up- his fort. Well, I guess I could have done that without the explosion but there's no fun in that. Explosions are fun, stakeouts aren't. But they were craftier than I'd wagered- posing as cops and firemen and such. I knew they would take Janie if they found her. He wanted to know who Bats was and Janie knew. And let's face it- one would probably fair better to reason with her than to reason with me.

I went to the streets to observe the commotion down below. It took forever but eventually I saw her and some guy disguised as a fireman. They left in an unmarked SUV. I took a tan detective cruiser and followed behind. They brought her to a hotel and escorted her in.

I sighed as I pulled out my phone to call some disposable backup. As usual, they took forever. But while I was waiting I saw the most peculiar thing- Victor Zsasz was still alive. He was coming up the block towards the hotel.

I giggled and hopped out of the car to meet him. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked over to me.

"I hear they got your girl. You really should look into putting a tracking device on the kid."

"I'm looking into it…."

Zsasz smirked, following me to the alley next to the hotel. I didn't like his smirk. My humor wasn't for his benefit.

I really wanted to kill him once and for all. No one rises from the ashes unless it's me. But luckily, he didn't seem to be in the mood for pissing me off. He was in fact, contrite. Well, that or frightened. His hands were shaking as he lit a cigarette. It was kind of pitiful as if he wasn't already such a sad excuse.

"Look, Joker,"

"I don't do deals or make any promises about the future. But I won't kill you right now if you do something for me."

Zsasz inhaled deeply and dropped the cigarette to the ground. That was kind of wasteful…

"Alright," He nodded. "But I can't just go get her, there are too many men. I'd never get out."

"Go in and watch her, see how she acts, and what she says and does. Tell me later."

"That's it?"

"I'm not promising I won't kill you thirty seconds from now, go." I know how to work people, especially low level sociopaths such as Zsasz. Guys like him are a dime a dozen. You've got to bark orders because they don't respect you acting any other way. He quickly nodded and turned towards the hotel. I ran after him when I remembered something I'd forgotten.

"Oh, Tally Marks?"

He turned back to me.

"No one lays a hand on her. She dies, you die. She gets hurt,"

"I get it, I get hurt."

I shook my head, "No, you die."

Zsasz nodded and turned the corner.

I walked back to the patrol car and hopped in. There was no sense to wait in the cold. Besides, the car allowed ample cover for me to stare without others noticing.

This was going to be interesting. I know Janie. She's been through too much recently to be threatened again so soon. Something was about to happen. Something was about to wake in her, or snap…whatever the saying is. And I was just itching with pride when she burst through the door with a bewildered Wobbles in tow. She had him by the neck with a knife- what goes around…

I was so excited. I had to control myself from jumping out of the car and helping out. But his men were quickly behind them, and Cobblepot ordered the cab she jumped into to be followed. No, it was best I used the car to follow her.

I pulled out to take off, but a lanky figure jumped in front of me. Zsasz opened the door to the passenger side and hopped in.

"I'm going to help you." He spoke decidedly. Zsasz was a chameleon. It seemed he worked with whoever seemed to be winning. I laughed and pressed my foot on the gas. The tires spun a bit on the black ice as I sped off.

Janie, Janie, where was she going? A black SUV was conspicuously following the cab she was in. I guess she can be pretty convincing. Whatever she had said to the cab driver not only had him driving in circles for twenty minutes, but there were also no cops in sight.

My men had arrived at the hotel and called me. I had them catch up and they were now riding behind me. It was a true Benny Hill moment- Cobblepot's men were chasing Janie, I was chasing them, and my men were following me. I'm not sure how I know who Benny Hill is.

But after half an hour, enough was enough. I was getting bored so I accelerated and slammed into the back of his men's car.

Traffic prevented them from going anywhere but I have work experience in congested areas. It was rush hour and people were delayed bumper to bumper for probably three or four miles. I hopped out of my car with ease and began to unload from my AK-47. My men hopped out of their car and followed suit. I know using an AK-47 is cliché, but there's nothing wrong with cliché when it kills the people it needs to kill.

They were all dead and I'd definitely caught the attention of Janie now. She was looking back through the windshield. I gestured for her to get out, but she shook her head.

"Janie," I warned. She couldn't hear me, but she knew I was mouthing her name.

"No," I could lip-read that clear as day. I growled and hopped around the wreckage and reached for her door. I tried to open it but it was locked.

I gently tapped the driver's window with my gun. "Would you mind unlocking the door?"

"Not a chance." He spat.

I sighed and unloaded shots towards his window. Janie screamed, as if she were surprised I'd do something like that.

Unfortunately, the bullets only left small holes, and his blood splattered head made quite a mess. But the tiny holes proved enough for me to kick the glass in. I reached through and pushed the body closer to the console and unlocked the door. I got back out and opened the backseat door. Janie glared up at me. I pushed her over a bit and climbed in.

About that same time, Zsasz had opened the other back door and sat down on the opposite side of her.

"What are you doing?" Janie and I spoke simultaneously. I took Janie and picked her up in my lap. I moved her from the middle to the other side. She didn't need to sit by him. But then I heard the door open behind me.

"Jeez, Janie." I turned and grabbed her torso and pulled her back in the cab. I guess she'd have to be in the middle.

The traffic had started moving a bit now, and I heard police sirens in the distance.

"Tally marks? You said you wanted to help? Drive." I pointed the gun at the driver's seat. Zsasz shrugged and did what he was told. He pushed the driver on the asphalt and assumed his occupation.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked Janie, but Zsasz answered.

"I'm helping. You just told me to drive. And I just helped you kill all those men."

His presence quite irked me.

"Hey, do you have my knife?" Zsasz asked.

"What knife?" I furrowed my brow.

"I'm talking to Little Red,"

"Her name is Janie. You don't get to have nicknames."

"My name is Jane, and no, I gave it to the driver."

Zsasz and I both looked back to the body in the road.

"It was part of the deal for him picking me up."

"It's not your knife to give, though." Zsasz argued.

"She doesn't care; Janie has a bad habit of stealing knives that aren't hers. She's kind of careless with other people's belongings."

"So I guess I won't be getting it back."

"You're going to have to let this go, Zsasz." I informed him.

"Why did you leave me there? In that closet?" Janie suddenly accused.

"Turnabout's fair play,"

"Oh shut up," She spat. I giggled. "The whole building exploded. I could have died."

"I could have died when you left me in that auditorium."

"I didn't blow it up, though."

"Well someone else could have."

"Like who?" She asked mockingly.

"I might have," Zsasz interjected. As habit, I almost reprimanded him for speaking. But he was conceding my point so I let it slide.

Janie shook her head. She was having one of her little 'poor me' moments again. She usually felt better after we made out, or had sex. But first we'd have to get rid of Zsasz.

"I want to go to the hospital." She suddenly said, looking up at me.

I lowered my brow, examining her body. "Why?"

"Dr. Grant's there and I need to see him."

"Why is he at the hospital?"

"Someone hurt him."

"It wasn't me," I spoke quickly, trying to remember if I was telling her the truth or not.

"I know, but Joker, I need to see him. I need you to do this for me."

I hadn't been to a hospital in a while, but I didn't like her needing to go so bad. I shook my head.

Janie shrugged. "Fine, I'll go on my own."

"No,"

"Yes, I can do what I want."

I growled, I guess this is what they mean when they talk about compromise. "Zsasz drive to the hospital."

I gotta say we put on quite a show. Everyone dove like seagulls to the floor when we let our guns go off in the waiting room. It was reminiscent of times when I was on top of my game- when all of Gotham fell to their knees at my triumphant undertakings. Yes, it's true- Janie took a lot of attention and gardening. I really hadn't had any me time.

"Joker, don't hurt anyone." She urged. That irked me- especially when Zsasz smirked at her remark. I've a reputation to uphold and she didn't seem to understand that.

-"Please, we don't want any trouble." A security guard spoke before I shot him. Janie jumped and glared at me. I shrugged and grabbed her hand as I went up to the service counter.

I rang the bell despite that fact the woman was sitting right there.

"Dr. Grant's room please."

The woman's lip quivered as she typed into the computer. "2, 216."

"Why thank you!" I spoke, generally surprised that she was so cooperative. I pointed the gun and shot at the window. Unfortunately, the window was bulletproof and it bounced off the glass into the crowd of people. I sighed and shook my head. Gotham…

I told Zsasz to man the area as I dragged Janie in the room to see Dr. Daddy. I shut the door behind us to give a little privacy.

An older but attractive woman was at his bedside. Her eyes shot daggers at Janie girl.

"Raus, du kleine Schlampe, bevor ich dich töten!"

I certainly did not speak German, but one didn't have to be an interpreter to figure out what she was saying. She did not like Janie one bit. But German or not, that was no way to talk to my girl.

"I'm sorry," Janie shook her head. She was getting all teary eyed at the sight of her professor- which I really didn't like. But it's true, he didn't look that great.

Her professor's eyes fluttered and he looked over to Janie. "Kid, I'm glad you're okay."

She smiled and nodded. "Dr. Grant,"

"You're all out of whack," He informed her.

See, this is exactly why I didn't want to come. This professor of hers is one of the few "normal" people that aren't afraid of me- or afraid of what he says in front of me.

"You brought him here? To the hospital?"

I reeeaaaallly didn't like being talked about as if I weren't in the room. I starting looking around to see if there was a plug I could pull.

"I didn't have a choice. I had to see you." Janie announced.

He shook his head. "You had a choice, you've made lots of choices. And you know the difference between right and wrong, kiddo. I'm not going to let you slide or play dumb."

Janie reached for his hand, now he was making her cry. That was the last straw. I grabbed her arm and started to pull her out of there.

"Alright, everyone sees that he's alive. It's time to go."

But the nutty professor grabbed my arm. I turned toward him.

"Don't you tell my girl what to do." He threatened. He then looked over to Janie. "Archer, you know what's right. You need to straighten up."

His girl? This Kenny Roger's wannabe was getting on my last nerve.

Janie's mouth hung open as if this guy were her real father reprimanding her or something, but then she looked to me. I guess she recognized the look in my eye because she gave me a nod and headed out.

"Jane!" Dr. Grant called to her, but I had already made sure she was out the door. I heard him call a few more times but we kept walking. There was no need for that. He was a bad influence on her. For a moment, I was kind of jealous of whoever did put in in that hospital bed.

I was so busy walking that I hadn't realized Janie had stopped a few paces behind me. I sighed and turned back around to approach her.

"What is it now, Miss high maintenance?"

She shook her head. "I'm not, I'm not going with you." She almost whispered- of course she was starting at the floor when she said it.

"Don't be stupid, Janie come on! Tempus fugit," I grabbed her arm but she yanked it away from me. Here we go…

"I can't do this, I mean it." She looked up at me now.

"No, you don't." I grabbed a hold of her and shook her a little bit. "Listen, you don't need substitute Daddy's approval to do what you want. All goes fine and dandy until someone gives you a smack on the wrist. But you don't need them telling you what to do. You're not like them."

Her eyes were all glassy; I'd never seen her crying close up. She really didn't cry a lot since I'd met here. This was kind of new.

"No, you're wrong, I do need them telling me because obviously I put on blinders when I'm around you but I'm not," She took a beat. "It's you I'm not like. I can't be that, I'm not like you. I can't do it. I'm not a killer." I felt her body shaking under my hold, but I only paid attention to her words. "I can't, this is wrong."

There was something different about this time when she said it. She was lying, of course. But this time she was acting different. I didn't like it, I hated it. I felt like that previously discussed tapeworm was ripping me apart- the only counter action was to let myself internally combust to kill it- to stop it from eating my insides, I'd beat it to the punch. I would definitely kill the tapeworm, but I would have to expect a fair amount of collateral damage.

"Take it back, Janie." It was only fair that I give her a chance. But she shook her head, adamant in her temper tantrum.

"No,"

"Janie,"

"No!" She yelled. "I can't!"

"I'm only going to give you one more chance,"

"I don't want to be with you anymore." She shouted until she got to the "anymore" part. It was then I realized it was my weight holding her up, so I dropped her. She sunk out from my hands and her knees gave out.

I left her in the hallway and walked down to the station again. The woman was trying to ignore me so I knocked on the glass.

"Excuse me, Miss- Do you have a phonebook?"

"I've called the police you know." She mouthed back.

"What does that have to do with having a phonebook?"

"Just give it to him, Mary." The other nurse urged.

"Yeah, Mary!"

Mary sighed and slid the phonebook through the paper slot.

I took it from her and gave her a look as I pursed my lips.

Zsasz had the waiting room quarantined and he walked up to me. "What's going on?"

"Go get the car."

"That's fine." He looked down the hall, "What's wrong with her?"

I found the page I was looking for and ripped it out. I shoved it in my coat pocket. "Nothing a little field trip won't fix," I went down the hall and grabbed Janie. "Up we go."

She did put up a fair amount of resistance- and it wasn't for show. But the truth was that her physical strength could not match my sheer force of will. She was trying to push me and make me angry. She was succeeding. But that's when I'm at my strongest.

I didn't even bother talking to her or touching her on the way. There was no point. She was shaking like a cold little kitten, but I knew better than that.

Zsasz pulled up to the neighborhood on the east side- a modest neighborhood. There was nothing fancy about it.

I had called two men, telling them to meet me there. They were waiting eagerly, guns in hand as I hopped out of the car.

I told Zsasz to keep the meter running as I pulled Janie out by her elbow.

"Where are we?" She spoke in a monotone voice.

"It's a surprise." I smiled; honestly I was just beside myself with excitement as we went up to the complex door.

I hit every buzzer until someone answered.

"DeLuca's meat delivery," I replied. Someone buzzed me in.

I gave Cherry a smile as I pushed her into the threshold. My men followed in behind me.

"Joker, what is this?"

"Shh!" I commanded. "Don't disturb everyone with your incessant questions."

We got to the third floor in a reasonable time. All of us were in fairly good shape. I knocked on 11C until a boy of about six or seven answered. This is when Janie started to panic.

"Joker,"

"Evening little fella," I ignored her and tousled the boy's dark brown hair and walked in passed him. "Where's your Mom?" I brought Janie in with me. The men poured in behind and aptly shut the door.

We walked in on a woman and a teenage girl sitting at the dinner table. The teenager screamed as the mother jumped up for her son. I allowed it. She brought her son over next to her daughter and clutched them both protectively.

"Sorry to intrude on dinner, which smells lovely by the way…Let me start with introductions…Please, could you all adjourn to the sofa?"

The woman briskly nodded and shuffled her kids to the couch and sat them down.

"Please, just take whatever you want."

I ignored her autopilot reply and started talking. "I'm Joker, and this is Janie." I looked over at Janie, who looked like a deer staring into headlights. I chuckled; it was priceless when I could catch her off guard.

"Let's go." She urged. She was pulling at my jacket now- semi-affectionately. That wasn't going to work.

"Janie, you're being rude. You didn't even let me introduce them. Janie, this lovely widow is Lindsay Shive. Lindsay, what are you kid's names?"

Lindsay was remaining pretty cool all things considered. I wish I could say the same for Cherry, who now knew exactly who these people were.

"This is my daughter, Blakely…and my son, Tyler."

"The Shive family, well, what's left of them anyway." I giggled and nudged Janie in her side.

"What do you want?" Lindsay desperately asked.

That was a loaded question, "Right now, I'm just illustrating a point to my friend Janie here, so be patient."

"Who is she?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh see, Janie is the reason that your cop husband is dead. And kids, she's why your daddy died. Or is it Grandpa?"

"He was my husband!" Lindsay raised her voice a bit, a little more emotional now.

"You killed our Dad?" The girl Blakely asked Janie, confused. "I thought it was you…" She looked over at me.

"No, no, I was just a facilitator."

They all looked over to Janie and so did I; she was shaking more perceptibly now. That was good. I was already getting my point across. I continued.

"A long time ago, your policeman father and husband covered up a crime. He lied and covered up Janie's Dad's murder. So, the other day, he paid for it by being blowing up in a hundred pieces."

"Stop it," Janie croaked hoarsely. I grinned at her, as if…

"And Janie here didn't do anything to keep that from happening."

"I said stop it." She muttered. She was already a mess. Tears were falling down her cheeks.

"But she thinks that she's not responsible for any of it." I started pacing, gaining my momentum for my speech. "She tells me that she's not like me- that she can't be with me, that she's not a killer."

Blakely screeched.

"I had to bring her here- you know- to prove a point. I'm fighting for our relationship. See as long as Cherry has that one degree of separation she can deny it. But by coming here- there's really no denying it now, is there?"

Janie attacked me now, as I thought she would. She lost her cool.

"Stop it!" She cried and flailed her arms at me, landing a few impressive hits. She even forced a 9MM to fall out of my jacket. She was completely irrational. I was the King of irrational- it's too predictable.

"No, you stop it." I gripped her arms until she whimpered. I threw them down to her side and grabbed her face. "It's time that you take responsibility for your actions. You might have not planted the bomb, but you didn't stop it from going off, even when you knew it was going to. You can't pass blame on semantics alone, Cherry. Fess up."

"No," She closed her eyes. But that wasn't going to do any good.

"Yes, and you're going to do it right now." I picked up the gun and put it in her right hand. Her big, watery eyes shot open and looked down at the gun, then up to me.

"What?"

"You're going to prove what I've been saying, all this time. You don't really care about these people. You don't care about them at all. It's just you and me. It's always been just you and me."

She shook her head, her body trying to sink down to the floor. I wouldn't let her.

"Get up!" I commanded. Her breathing was all ridiculous and hysterical.

"Tonight we're going to play a game." I announced to the Shive family. "And Janie girl is the contestant. She gets to choose- which one of you she wants to kill."

"No!" Lindsay screamed. Her daughter was already crying. I guess it was her turn now. "Please, I'll do anything you want; just, just don't hurt my kids."

"Mom," Blakely whimpered. She took her daughters head to her chest. I took a glance at Tyler. Tyler seemed to be absorbing, not much more.

"I'm not going to kill anyone." Cherry tritely announced, regaining some of her composure.

I laughed. "Yes you will, Doll." I walked over to my men, patting one of them on my shoulder. "Why did you think I brought these guys? See, if you don't choose one of them, then they're going to shoot and kill all three of them."

"What?" Janie looked at the gun and shook her head.

"Miss," Lindsay interjected. "Miss, please."

"That's not part of the game, Lindsay." I warned. "You don't get to make a speech. This game is for Janie, not you."

"Joker," Cherry was all sweet voiced now- "Please,"

"No, this is your doing. It's for your own good. You're going to have to finally be who you are. Or just like the Romanov's, the Shive family all ends here tonight."

"I'm not going to, I can't."

I was seething now. I'd waited so long for gratification. And she's denied who she is for far too long.

"If you want to be a child fine, I'm going to count to three."

"I'm not going to do this." She spat.

"That's fine, when I get to three, they all die."

"Joker, no!"

"Miss, kill me- don't hurt my kids!" Lindsay gallantly pleaded.

"Mom!" Tyler suddenly screeched. Both her kids held onto her.

I started my count.

"One, one- who'll shoot the gun?"

"No," Janie shook.

"Two, two, it better be you!" I teased her.

She emitted a frustrated noise through gritted teeth. "I can't…I won't do it!"

"Three!" I didn't bother to rhyme anything with three.

"Stop!" She screamed. My men readied their guns. But she lifted hers so I gestured for them to put their gun's down. I smiled. But she took me by surprise when she shot both of my men. Both were very accurate shots to the head. The Shive family released a plethora of screams. It took us all a moment to register what had happened.

I chuckled. "Well,"

Janie took a shallow breath and turned the gun to me.

"Get out, Joker."

"You weren't able to shoot one little broken family; you're not going to be able to shoot me."

"I will," She spoke through gritted teeth. "Now leave!"

This was laughable. I walked towards her. "You can't do it."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm all you've got. And you know it's true."

She fired a "warning" shot to the ceiling.

I gave her an incredulous look. "Really?"

-"Jane,"

I knew that voice. And briefly, I turned my head at the distraction. Batman had somehow showed up. I had mixed feelings about this.

"And just where have you been?" I accused, but he seemed to be focused on her.

"Put the gun down, it's okay." He told her.

His presence suddenly allowed her to start sobbing again; I really didn't like it when she cried. And I wasn't fond of how she just assumed that since Bats arrived, our conversation was over. But what I like the least was when she pays more attention to other people than to me. Especially him… I took the opportunity of uncertainty to grab her other arm and pull it toward me. I quickly yanked away the gun. She was actually listening to Bats. She knew exactly what made me tick.

"Joker, let her go."

"Right, because I'm going start doing what you say now." I shot at him. Everyone jumped and screamed at the sound, including Janie.

I could tell by the way he was moving that it wasn't fatal. But it hurt him pretty bad-and it had succeeded in stopping him from advancing toward me as I dragged Janie out of the apartment.

Her breaths were labored as we went down the stairs; she wouldn't have been able to keep up with me if I wasn't dragging her. But it was also because she was crying. I wasn't going to let that stop us from making record time to the complex doors. I did stop for a second, which was a mistake. It gave her a moment to catch her breath.

We walked outside and Zsasz was leaning against the car. He might not be a lot of things, but he was perceptive. One look from me and he simply started walking off into the night- clearly realizing that Janie and I needed our alone time.

I opened the passenger side of the car and tried to push her in. But she fought me. She pushed and shoved until we both were standing in the middle of the street.

"What, you think this makes me wrong?" I laughed. The occasion certainly did call for it. "You killed two people tonight without a second thought."

"I had to! And they were killers."

"So? Do they have different genetic makeup or different percentage of water and blood on the inside? They're just like that family, Doll and you killed them."

"I hate you," She seethed and pushed me again. "I hate you!" This time she pushed me to the ground and tried to walk off. That was it. I grabbed her by the ankle and yanked her down to the asphalt- and did she ever tumble down- with a resounding thud. I could hear the scratching of her legs against the pavement as she resisted. I pulled her to me. I had ripped a good deal of her jeans and her calves were all red and bloody. So were her arms.

Janie looked up at me, her sobbing was over. All that was left was residual tears.

"I can't," She spoke softly now, "I didn't have a choice."

"I wasn't threatening your life; you didn't have to do anything. Of course you had a choice."

"Fuck you," She shook her head and looked up to me, her eyes empty. If I wasn't successful in anything else- I had successfully exhausted all of her energy. She was almost as white as I am with the face makeup. She was drained.

"I'm going to throw up," She announced and turned. She coughed and gagged several times but nothing came out. There she went again, trying to further soften her plight. I let her be for a moment, but she wasn't getting sick. She just thought that was something people did- when they killed a person. It just further asserted my point. She wasn't like the rest of them.

"Come on, Janie. You're not getting sick." I smoothed back her hair.

"I am," She asserted. "I feel sick!"

"No, you don't."

"Don't…tell me what I feel! That's what you don't get." She sat up and leaned against the car.

I smirked. "I know exactly what you're feeling. You think that getting sick and feeling remorse is what normal people do. Well guess what, you're not one of the normal ones."

"That's the thing, I am. I'm not special, I'm not. There is nothing to set me apart from anyone else, nothing except my circumstance."

"Then how do you explain,"

"Nothing except you."

I gave her an incredulous look.

"Don't you see, you, you picked me. It's what you do…it's what you do with people. I'm no more different than that family you wanted me to kill in there. The only difference is that you care about me, you don't care about them."

I stared at her, wondering what exactly she was trying to say.

"You were right; it is only me and you…but only because of happenstance. It only happened because of a random turn of events. And," She closed her eyes. "I care about you. So much so, I put myself in these- horrible situations. I let you manipulate me, me and my life…all because I see it in you- you want to connect. And we did, we found that, we found that in each other. But you have all backwards- that's normal. Every human being feels like that. In that way, you're just like everyone else."

She stared back at me, waiting for a response. When I didn't reply, she sighed. "You might not understand what I'm talking about,"

"Don't insult me, Janie."

She slowly nodded. Her head lowered a bit. "I want to go. I'm exhausted, and you fucked up my legs and arms. I'm bleeding and they hurt like hell, you bastard."

I suddenly realized I had been too rough with her. I briefly felt bad about it- but it was the tapeworm imploding. Besides, she really took all the fun out of the situation with her crackpot theories and summations. I scooped her up. I carried her to the passenger seat of the cab and put her in.

I was out of apartments. Her energy wasn't the only thing that was drained; she had also drained a lot of my disposable resources. No matter, I went to the Neverglade Motel and broke into a room.

I carried her in and laid her on the bed. I sighed when I saw there were still stray tears in her eyes.

I shuffled through my pockets and handed her a pill. I got one of the glasses next to the sink and filled it with tap water. I returned and handed it to her.

"What is it?"

"Stop crying and go to sleep."

"What is it?" She repeated.

I giggled. "How would I know? All I know is that it makes you sleep."

"Forever?"

"Not unless Arkham has started a euthanizing policy. It's from there."

This seemed to be enough for her. She took the pill with a sip of water and sat the glass on the nightstand. She relaxed back onto the pillows.

I went to the bathroom and retrieved a wet a washcloth. Her legs and arms were really bloody. You could tell even more under the fluorescent lamp light. They needed to be cleaned off. When I finished, I stood up to put the washcloth away but she grabbed onto my tie.

"Don't leave," I let her tired little arm "pull" me down next to her. She moved herself closer and nuzzled into my chest.

"That pill is going to knock you out. I have to lie here with you without even having sex?"

"Yes," She declared simply.

I chuckled as she burrowed herself further into me. But truth of the matter was she was making me uneasy, her and the silence.

"Sing that song, Joker." She murmured.

"What song?"

"The one when you woke me up at Dr. Grant's…"

It took me a few moments to realize what she was talking about. "The Hearse Song?"

"Do you ever think, as the hearse goes by…" She started.

"…that you may be the next to die?" I finished- quite impressed that she knew the song as well as I did.

"They wrap you up in a long white sheet, from your head down to your feet,"

"They put you in a big black box, and cover you over with dirt and rocks,"

"And all goes well for about a week, and then the coffin begins to leak…"

"The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out…"

"…and that's what you eat when you are dead." She exclaimed- skipping several verses. But that pill was strong. She was out.

For all intents and purposes, she was deadweight. She was deadweight that was out cold. I could have got up any time I wanted. But I didn't feel like it.

Truthfully, I hate her just as much as she claims to hate me. But I'll admit I was in a bit of a tizzy when I woke up and she didn't seem to be moving. I had to take her pulse, just to be sure. But she was fine. I was just worried because I myself had slept 21 hours- a personal record. I had taken a pill, well two of them. I took one after realizing she wasn't getting up for a while. I took two when I realized that the one wasn't helping. But only because I didn't have anything better to do, and I had given her one so it was only fair. I guess the pill was a little strong for Janie girl, she probably could be knocked out with sleepy time tea, but the pill- it didn't kill her.

I decided I'd had enough holding my stiff, corpselike Cherry and went to relieve myself. When I came back, I sat at the edge of the bed and pulled out Zsasz' phone I had stolen.

He had a smart phone, equipped with all kinds of neat features.

I told the robot woman to find the address of all of Oswald Cobblepot's businesses. I took the complimentary pen and paper and wrote them all down.

"What are you doing?" Janie crooned as I turned around to look at her.

I laughed. Her hair was parted on the side of her head. But I kind of liked it that way though.

"What are you scheming now?"

"Our mutual friend, Cobblepot… It's time he was out of the picture."

Janie slowly nodded. "Okay, but not today."

I laughed, "What's that?"

"I don't want to do anything today; let's just going to stay here."

I was amused by this prospect. Well, if I couldn't stay put with Janie, I couldn't stay put with anyone.

"I'm hungry though," She announced.

It was evening, on whatever day it was. I think it was the middle of the week. It was still too bright outside for the hookers and pimps to prowl about outside so the place was virtually silent.

I took my elbow and broke the glass of the vending machine and told Janie to grab what she wanted. She took practically everything and made me carry most of it in my coat and pant pockets.

She looked around nervously.

"If people in the narrows moved around or reacted to the sound of broken glass, they'd never get anything accomplished."

Cherry nodded, still perceptibly weak as I guided her back to the room.

She sat back down on the bed while I went to get ice for her legs. I selflessly wrapped and nursed them while she made loud crunching sounds and turned on the bunny eared television.

There was a movie on about this low-level thief. His girlfriend didn't like that he was a thief. She was kidnapped by a hit man as ransom and when she fired this famous gun, (that was famous for firing backwards and killing the wielder) it fired correctly because of true love or something. I'd say that it really hit home but it was a stupid movie and that actress that I hate was in it.

Despite the abysmal cinema, I did watch an entire movie- over the span of two whole hours without thinking about anything else. This just verifies my earlier statement about how Janie can calm the restlessness- her palliative effect. Janie wasn't fully watching the movie either, but she wasn't saying anything. She was however holding onto me the whole time- as if to use her clutch as an actual anchor to keep me there. But it worked. I felt sated, and somewhat fulfilled. The whole realization made my skin crawl.

I guess she could feel my gaze because she turned her body over and laid face up in my lap.

She grabbed my tie again and twisted it in her fingers. She slowly urged it down to where she could kiss me. Her kisses almost tickled, they were soft. It was strange how soft they were.

I knew where this was going. She only had a t-shirt on, so that required little effort. And I've never had a problem with taking my clothes off for sex. But I didn't want to wait that long. I discarded my jacket and pulled down my trousers.

Her skin was freezing, but I had trouble looking at anything but her eyes. That's because for the first time, she was staring back at me- without protest. I kind of hated her for it.

And let me admit, fucking gently was not something I was akin to. Still now, it's not something I'm comfortable with. But whatever rhythm I had adopted, she was enjoying. That makes one of us…I mean, I was enjoying it…the sex, but there was something about the look in her eyes, something I needed to kill.

I took to speeding things up, but that didn't work, I still wanted her- she still wanted me. Something was too right, too wrong.

I quickly came, realizing she had to. I stared down at her for a moment, feeling a bunch of, prickly feelings. I'm a smart guy, but it would take a few doctors to figure this one out.

I looked down at her, my girl. She smiled, that incomparable smile when she was happy, at least sated. That was rare; I never get her to just be in the moment.

"Janie," I had addressed without realizing. We just stayed that way for a few moments. I stared at her, still wondering what was wrong. I took some strands of her silly, wild red hair and played with it as I lied on top of her. Her perky twenty-something breasts were pressing against my own chest. I smoothed her hair back and relaxed my hand on her neck. She turned her head and kissed my hand with her lips, grabbing my wrist and caressing it, clutching it.

Everything suddenly became quite heavy, the room was thick. It was full of it- whatever it was. I quickly sprung up from the bed, from our hold. I pulled up my pants and slipped on my shoes.

Janie sat up, staring at me. Her perfect little mouth hung agape in confusion. Or so I thought. She seemed to know exactly what was going on…even though I hadn't the slightest clue. She started shaking her head.

"Don't," She spoke in a low, frightened tone.

But I couldn't help it. I went to the door and opened it. I took one last glance at her. She looked at me like I'd just shot her or something. I didn't take another beat. I walked out and shut the door behind me.

…The night air was cold. Hookers and horny men were making deals, giving sleazy blow and hand jobs in the cold. If they paid a few extra bucks, they could share a warm bed. I could hear the sound of a gun in the distance. Someone was shot or killed for a gold watch or something. Superficially, it was business as usual. But there was something wrong with me. Something I couldn't place a finger, knife, or gun on. She knew, but she and I both knew it had something to do with her. And I wasn't going back in there to ask. So really, I was out of luck, because Jane is not the kind of girl that's going to come chasing after me.