Rose POV

I enter Dimitri's classroom precisely at the agreed upon time and not a second sooner. I really don't want to face him. Not after everything that went down with Vika. And I'm pretty sure he isn't too keen on seeing me right now either.

Not after that kiss.

That one amazing little kiss that should never have happened.

Yeah. He's definitely not going to want to see me.

Dimitri's head looks up in my general direction, but he refuses to look me in the eyes. "Rose."

"Morning, comrade," I greet in the fakest cheerful voice I could muster. "How are you on this glorious morning?"

"Rose."

"Let's just get to the part where you say you don't think we should continue our before and after school sessions anymore so I can skip to the part where I agree so I can leave and come back when school starts."

"How did you know I was going to say that?" I shrug as my answer. The truth is I know Dimitri well enough that I can pretty much guess his thoughts. "You're partially right. I was going to say we skip the tutoring sessions. But only until after we come back from holiday break. You're almost caught back up from your time off. You deserve a break."

That and you can't even look at me, I add silently. "I'll see you later then," I tell him as I walk out the door. I can feel his eyes on me as I walk away, but I don't care.

I can't let myself care.

Not right now.

So I do what I'm best at doing. I push down the feelings until I can't feel anything anymore.


I have been trying to ignore every Russian who comes into my path, at least until after winter break starts so I can have a little time and space.

Some of them were making it much harder than others.

Dimitri is the easiest since it was his idea in the first place. We spend every first period in a polite silence, each ignoring the other as we do our own work. Last period is easier since it's not just the two of us alone together. He lectures. The bell rings. I go home.

It works.

Vika is much more difficult. She actually wants to see me. We don't have any classes together since she is a year below me, but she's creative and finds her way into my daily schedule. She "accidentally" wanders into my classes. She waits for me in the hallways. She follows me into bathrooms. She even scopes out my locker before and after school.

I can't hide from her forever, although I keep trying.

I need to keep trying.

I just need the chance to forget everything for a while.

I'm even trying to stay away from Ivan. He has nothing to do with this, but he's still Dimitri's best friend. It'll be easier in the long run if I just distance myself from all of them now. Ivan, on the other hand, doesn't agree. Every time I see him he tries to pry information out of me.

It started out small. When was the last time I tutored Vika? When was the last time I visited Casa de Belikov? When am I planning on going back to visit?

That eventually evolved into the one question I refuse to answer: What the hell happened?

I don't know, Ivan. I do not know. Your answer is as good as mine.


I survived to the start of winter break. Everything was going fine… until I remembered how insane the Dragomir household is around the holidays. The Dragomirs love any reason to celebrate and with Lennox in the house they definitely went overboard.

Insanity is probably a better word.

Within the first day of break the entire house was turned into some crazy winter wonderland straight out of some television show. Fake snow littered the house, candy canes, mistletoe, poinsettias, and every other Christmas decoration imaginable found their way into the everyday decorum of the house.

The Dragomirs have always gone above and beyond when it came to decorating and it always has looked amazing. Lennox loves looking around in awe and seeing all of the wonderful things they've put up, and I am so thankful they've done this all for her, but part of me hates it.

I've never been a holiday person.

I've had no reason to be. My mother has never been around. My father… who even knows who he is? All I know is that he's probably Middle Eastern and he must have had some wicked hair. Growing up I was always invited to spend the holiday with Lissa and her family, and I often did, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to celebrate with my actual family. I always secretly hoped that my mother would finally be around. That we could actually have a tree in the house and that we could decorate it ourselves.

It never happened.

I'm not a big holiday person.

But I want Lennox to be.

I guess I'm just going to suck it up and try to enjoy my decent into insanity.


The annual Dragomir Christmas party. It's a holiday tradition, a big feast followed by fireworks. We get to be surrounded by only those closest to us, unlike the New Year's party where anyone and everyone is invited to celebrate into the New Year.

Today's the day.

I get dressed in my finest ugly Christmas sweater before dressing Lennox in a dress Rhea bought for her. As we head downstairs I realize how excited I actually am. There will be no stress. Just celebration and binge eating.

Happy birthday, Jesus.

We join the rest of the Dragomirs in the living room. The first hour or so is just for immediate family; the rest of the guests will arrive for drinks before dinner. It's nice, just being able to be me without having to put up some sort of wall.

Unfortunately, it doesn't last long enough.

Christian arrives promptly at the designated time, bringing flowers for both Rhea and Lissa. They gush at the thoughtful gesture before making a huge deal of going to put them in water. He smiles in my direction and walks over to me and my daughter.

"How are you today, princess?" he asks Lennox. She giggles at him.

"I think Uncle Christian is funny looking, too," I agree.

Christian rolls his eyes and carries on talking to the baby. "I got your Aunt Lissa and Grandma Rhea some pretty flowers. I thought I'd get you one, too," he says as he holds out a pink carnation towards her. She reaches for it and grabs it, bringing it close to examine it before for herself before she shows it off to me.

"That's a very pretty flower, Lennox. You want to tell funny looking Uncle Christian thank you?" I ask. Christian rolls his eyes at my antics but takes Lennox anyway and starts jabbering to her in baby talk. Lissa and Rhea return, joining us as two new guests enter the house.

It's Dimitri and the gorgeous woman from the dinner.

We haven't spoken in a few weeks and I miss being able to talk to him. I've lost a really good friend.

From the look he's giving me I know he feels similar.

"Christian, there you are! I can't believe you ran off so quickly to find your girlfriend," the woman teases. She tenses up when she sees him holding my child. "Please tell me you did not get Lissa pregnant and kept this from me until this very moment."

I try to contain my laughter, but it is impossible. The look on her face! It was intimidating and Christian was so scared. It was priceless!

The woman glares towards me and I stop laughing. "The baby is mine," I tell her as Christian hands her back over to me. "I'm Rose, Lissa's best friend, and this is my daughter, Lennox."

"You're Rose." It was a statement that was almost borderline question. "I'm Tasha Ozera, Christian's Aunt." I realize now that's why she looked so familiar when I first saw her. She and Christian have the same blue eyes and striking black hair. Tasha suddenly gestures to Dimitri and the attention drifts to him, making him very uncomfortable. "And you all probably know Dimitri Belikov." He gives a brief awkward wave while probably wishing he could die in a hole. "Thank you so much for inviting us to dinner, Mrs. Dragomir."

Rhea smiles. "Anyone important to Christian is always welcome in our home. And please, call me Rhea." The two women talk back and forth for a while before Rhea takes her on a tour of the house. Lissa and Christian wandered to the nearest couch to sit as close together as possible without it being too inappropriate, leaving just me and Dimitri awkwardly standing in the same vicinity since the men of the Dragomir family have suddenly disappeared.

Lennox takes that moment to notice the incredibly tall Russian. Her eyes brighten, she grins as big as she possibly can, and holds her arms out to him. He notices her before I can even move. "Can I?" he asks me quietly. I nod, not really trusting my voice at this exact moment. He takes her and immediately starts his baby Russian talk.

Just like that I'm alone.

Everyone else is paired up. Andre and Eric. Rhea and Tasha. Lissa and Christian. Dimitri and Lennox.

Merry Christmas, folks.

Just before dinner starts, Dimitri walks back over to me with a sleeping Lennox in his arms. He looks down at her with the biggest smile I've ever seen.

He looks so happy.

"How has she been doing?" he asks me as he gently puts her back in my arms.

"She misses you and Vika, but otherwise she's doing great."

His eyes meet mine. "We miss her, too." I look away. I can't do this. Not here. Not now.

I go upstairs to put Lennox to bed. I take my time to get back downstairs, baby monitor in hand.

Dinner was only mildly painful. Everyone was merry and bright, but my heart just wasn't into it. As soon as dinner was over I escaped to the balcony. I brush some snow off part of the ventilation system and sit on it, letting myself stare up into the clear night sky.

"You were so keen on escaping you didn't even think of grabbing a jacket. Why does that not surprise me?" a familiar voice asks with hidden laughter.

"It's not that cold, comrade," I say without even looking at him.

He walks over to me, drapes his duster around my shoulders, and sits next to me. "You've been out here for a while. It's winter in Montana. It's cold."

"You're from Russia. If the cold bothers you, you have some issues."

Silence falls between us as we both stargaze. It's comfortable and almost like old times.

Almost.

"What are you doing out here, Rose?"

"I could ask you the same thing, comrade."

"I asked you first."

I finally look at him, only to find him looking back at me. "And I asked you second." He gives me a pointed look and patiently waits for me to answer him. I look back up towards the sky and carefully contemplate what I'm going to say. "I'd rather be alone out here than be alone while surrounded by everyone."

"You're not enjoying tonight," he observes.

"What can I say? I'm not a holiday person."

"Rose-"

I look back at Dimitri as I cut him off. "Tasha is good for you."

Dimitri chokes a little bit. "What?"

"She makes you happy."

"Rose-"

"You deserve to be happy, Dimitri." He stares back at me in shock. I stand to leave, but Dimitri's grabs my arm. He stares into my eyes, his eyes conveying everything he wishes he could tell me.

He doesn't like Tasha.

Not in a romantic way.

He misses me.

He's worried about me.

The baby monitor goes off and Dimitri lets me go. I hand him back his coat and head for the door. I look back at him before I go inside. "Merry Christmas, comrade."

"Merry Christmas, Roza."

I go upstairs to spend the rest of my night psychoanalyzing what the hell just happened.