CDCB: Impa is emo! OWNED!
CDCB: Impa...?
CDCB (under breath): tard
CDCB: Do I have to do the disclaimer?
CDCB: Where the hell did this coffin come from?
Impa: Leave me alone!
CDCB (crying): I didn't make any of these poor possesed people that are portrayed in the Zelda games!
Shadowy Surprizes (Impa)
Link wasn't quite sure why Impa had such random spazes about her gross rock cookies, but he was interested to see where she wanted to take him. Link hopped onto Epona and rode down the familiar road from the Kokori Forest and Kakoriko Village. Link waved at the many villagers he saw riding. In fact, he saw a lot of familliar friends. The chicken lady/Anju, the old man, the old woman, the Skutella Family, and many more were living in this peaceful town. Of coarse his favourite one was completely different. She was Impa (DUH).
Link soon arrived at Impa's house. The walls were still pink, but she had added a few more Sheikah things that made the pink look out of place. It was obvious Impa didn't like Zelda's little "Leon's" shopping spree. The familiar frown was embeaded in her face. She turned her head for a minute and Link could see a soft smirk form but when she turned around again it was gone.
Link: You kind of asked me to come back today...
Impa: Yup.
Link: What are we gonna do?
Impa: Play the nocturne of Shadow. I'll meet you at the temple!
Link: How?
Impa had poofed herself using a mystical deku nut.
Link: Oh, that's how...
OoT: DO DOOT DO DA DOOT DOOT DOOOOOT
Link magically landed deep within the Kakoriko graveyard.
Impa: It's rude to keep a girl waiting...
Link: Do Doot Do Da Doot Doot Doooooot...
Impa: I want to show you something...
Link: OkeeeDokeee!
Impa led Link down deep within the barial hambers of the dead. It was something Impa was fasinated by and something Link was afraid of. There were knives and spiders and spiders. Spiders scared Link. They were just so creepy and crawly and icky and gross. They creeped and crawled all over this place.
Link: Ahhhhhhhhh! GIANT SPIDERS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Impa: It's just a cute little spider.
Link: Man, are you ever brave. And to think I had to save you from a Bongo Ghost.
Impa: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BONGOS!
Link and Impa laughed in the barrial chamber. (A/N: Thats not creepy at all...)
Link: So why are we here?
Impa: just follow me.
Link followed her down to a secret room with Shiekah writing on all the walls. Link couldn't make much of the words out.
Impa: I'll translate: We the Shiekah slumber in these tombs. A war killed us let us remember all who die move on. Death is not an end, but a beginning. Keep us in your hearts and we will live on.
Link: What was the point of that?
Impa: When I was 10, I wasn't saving the world from certain destruction, I was learning from my elders.
Link:...
Impa: They are the famous Shiekah that saved Hyrule. One was your mother.
Link: "Gulp" my mother?
Impa: Yes, your mother. Kylia was her name. She was stronger than many of the Shiekan men and is the reason why many of us lived. She sheltered us and saved us. She was a beautiful woman, long white hair, those blue eyes rarely found in our people, and a smile that could make any man's heart melt. She was with many men, I'm sorry to say, so I'm not sure who your father was, but I am pretty sure it was the young Hylian, Dave.
Link: Dave?!?
Impa: Yup. He looked a lot like you actually. I reckon he was the only man your mother truely loved. He was courageous and true. He saved Hyrule from destrution and saved the young Princes Zelda. Some evil guy did it.
Link: Gannondork?
Impa: No, some wizard guy...
Link: Weird. So I guess that was a link to my past.
(A/n: Yay puns!)
Link: So I'm really a Shiekah?
Impa: Yes.
Link: Am I still Hylian?
Impa: Yup!
Link: I'm half and half?!?
Impa: Erm...
Impa ignored that comment, but chuckled because it sounded like he meant...nevermind.
Link: Wow! This is shocking. I never knew either of my parents.
Impa: Yeah. I want to show you something else know. Follow me!
Despite his better judgment, Link followed his friend down a secret passage way and down a ladder. He remembered the room immediately. This was where he had rode the boat. Link loved the boat. It was his favourite thing in all of Hyrule, Termina, and the Moon. He could ride it and kill things on it and crash it and it was still there when he came back the next time. Even after Link had killed the bongo ghost thingy he had still played with it and told it jokes. He even read it bed time stories every night. In a way, this boat wasn't just a boat, it was his friend. Link started to get all teary eyed.
Impa: So, wat do you think?
Link: I HEART...
Impa: What do you "HEART?"
Link: BOATS!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG...
Impa: Link? Are you okay?
Link: Yeah, why do you ask?
Impa decided to ignore Link's obsession with boats. Link jumped onto the bird/bat boat and rubbed it.
Link: Did you miss me???
Impa: So, Link.
Link: Yeah.
Impa: Are you playing Zelda''s Lullaby, or am I?
Link: I will. (cue Zelda's lullaby music)
Link: Yay! Go boat! I love your bell!
Impa: Wow, you are so immature! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!
Link: I see dead people!
Link spun around holding his sword out and in the blink of an emo eye, they were gone.
Impa: Great know th boat's sinking.
The two leaped off the boat and landed on the platform.
Link: Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Impa swore she saw a tear leak out of Link's eye.
Link: Impa...
Impa: Yes...
Link: Can we go now?
Impa: I guess, if we have to... I want to give you this.
You got the Magical Transporting Deku Nuts. Use them by going into the start subscreen by pressing up, left, or right.
Impa: Meet me at my house using your present.
Link: Sweetness!
CDCB: I think I made up for my crappy last Impa chapter.
Impa: shhhhhhh! A vampire needs her rest.
CDCB: If you don't want Impa to randomly pretend she's a vampire, REVIEW.
note: If you do want to see me continually get harassed, you are also allowed to review.
Link through a Magical Transporting Deku Nut down to the ground and ended up in the once again gothic Impa's house. He heard the voice of a dark angel.
Impa: Link? Why are you in my cow's pen?
Link:...
He couldn't respond. The cow farted and Link passed out.
Impa: Oh snap!
