You looked into Ciel's eyes. The pentacle laced eye glowed a brilliant violet color in the darkened room, illuminating shadows on your face.
"I want to stay with you, Ciel."
He seemed relieved, slowly letting out the breath he had been holding in, "I'm glad."
You met his gaze as he continued, it was unwavering with a hint of sincerity. "Had you declined, I would have been deeply troubled."
You smirked, "I would never leave you."
Ciel sat back down in the chair across from yours and relaxed his shoulders. The young earl coughed lightly before speaking again but his voice seemed much more weak and quiet than usual.
"There's something important I must tell you. I.. have not spoke of this, ever."
Your eyes widened, "Yes?"
Ciel lowered his eyes, refusing to look in your direction, "..I'm not who you think I am, (y/n)."
He still didn't meet your inquisitive gaze, "I'm not sure what you mean Ciel.."
"That's just it, I'm not the real Ciel Phantomhive.."
He confessed with a voice that sounded full of regret, "I'm not the true heir. My twin brother is the rightful head of Phantomhive,"
You looked toward him, "But-"
"But he's dead."
A menacing silence crept into every corner of the room, only interrupted every so often by the crackling from the fireplace. It seemed like ages before Ciel spoke again. This time, he looked at you.
"He was killed by our kidnappers, sacrificed as part of the satanic ritual.. in front of my own eyes. I was so powerless!"
He continued angrily, "I couldn't do anything but watch as they killed him!"
Ciel looked down, his jaw clenched tight as if he was remembering the tragedy.
"Ciel, I.."
He rambled on, becoming more and more agitated, "That's how I was able to summon Sebastian. He gave me the necessary strength to recover and return here."
Ciel sighed, seeming a bit more calm and somehow nostalgic. However, his voice had the slightest tinge of sadness.
"…We were particularly close, my brother and I. He always wanted to protect me."
He continued, "I was never really included in family events or outings since I was always sick. My aunt said I was weak like my mother."
He leaned his head against the back of the chair, "My body was the only part of me that was weak, though."
"They underestimated me, everyone! All the time!"
He stood up, running his right hand through his hair. "I always felt like second best to my brother. I wanted to show everyone that I could be strong, too!"
Ciel trailed off, "Still, I didn't want my family to.. die. They were all I had, I was so alone."
"I just wish I wasn't so weak all the time, that I could have spent more time with them. I was always told to rest and stay inside, where I wouldn't get hurt."
Ciel sat back down, looking toward you with a contemplative gaze, "That's why I love you, (y/n). I could never love Elizabeth since she was never supposed to be my fiancee."
Your eyes widened. So that's why he was always so cold toward her
"I understand now."
He nodded briefly, eager to give more of an explanation. "She's my cousin, so in that sense I care for her. But she was betrothed to my brother and I was the one who was supposed to venture out on my own and find someone I loved."
"My brother really did love her though, it's a shame."
Your racing thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an intense coughing spell. Ciel was covering his mouth and breathing heavily.
"Ciel! Are you okay, what's wrong?" You stood up, moving to his side whilst resting a hand on his back.
He breathed in deeply and gasped for air, "Ah..h, I.. I'm… okay." He coughed a few more times before wheezing out his next sentence.
"We looked a lot alike, however; my… coughing spells always set us apart. That's why I always have to hide them from everyone."
Ciel grabbed your hand, "(y/n), please don't leave me. You're all I want." His slender frame trembled in the darkened room as you made him sit back down.
You clenched his hand, "Like I said, I'd never leave you Ciel."
"I'm not my brother though," he looked down. "I'm sorry for deceiving you."
You finally spoke, "There's nothing to be sorry about."
He looked up, surprised. "But, (y/n).."
You continued, "I love you, Ciel, you. Not your brother."
"You took his name… but not his spirit. You're still you, that's all that I want."
Ciel stared at you for a while, seemingly in a trance. He finally put an arm around your waist and pulled you toward his side, holding you close to his chest for a long time.
Ciel spoke after what seemed like hours, "Thank you, (y/n). I never thought anyone would want a spare like me."
