August 29, 2009 Word of the Day: juxtapose

I would like to bring up a very good question a recent reviewer asked.

'A point to consider though-- would Bella have really let Edward in so fast when if someone else touches her it triggers a panic attack?'

Man, that is a really good question. Here is my reply:

When Bella had her panic attack and all the times she was spooked by a man's touch, she was in a depressed state. Please recall, that in the preface, Bella tells Edward she is bipolar. During these 'episodes', Bella was basically hovering between a manic state and depression.


Again, that was great question. So if any of you had that same question, there you go!

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EPOV, October 19, 2009:

I hadn't seen Bella since Saturday morning, when I had dropped her off at her house. She hadn't answered her phone yesterday, but I told myself she was probably busy with homework or was out with Renée. But when I walked into Biology, I knew something in her had changed from Saturday morning to now.

I observed her as I slowly walked to the far corner where we sat. Bella had her arms wrapped tightly around her chest, and she was concentrating on the floor with all her might.

"Hi." I said cautiously when I reached the table. She tilted her chin as a response and I leaned over to brush a kiss on her cheek. Bella immediately flinched away; her cheeks flushing.

"Don't." She muttered, and I sank into my seat. A little hurt, I sat back and studied for a moment. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she was wearing jeans a tee shirt. Nothing unusual there. I did, however, notice that she was wearing two different patterned socks. "Please, stop doing that." Bella said a truly dead tone, her eyes still fixated towards the floor.

"Doing what?" I asked, truly curious and a little irritated.

"Looking at me. I…I don't want you to." She managed, biting her lip.

What the hell?

We had just spent an entire 12 hours together, kissing, laughing, holding hands, and now I wasn't even allowed to look at her?

So I didn't. I stared straight ahead and paid attention in class. I did not look at Bella once.

But I was painfully aware of every movement and sound she made. I heard her shift in her chair countless times, restlessly moving her notebook around, and tapping her pencil against her knee. It was unnerving; being able to hear what she was doing but not being able to actually see her.

After 40 more minutes of torture, the bell finally rang and I turned to Bella. The corners of her mouth her turned down and she was very distant.

"Are you alright?" I asked tentatively, gathering her books up for her. Bella squeezed her eyes shut and yanked her books away from me, clutching them tightly to her chest.

"Yes, I'm fine." She said shortly, her tone flat. "And sorry, I can't do anything tonight."

"Why not?" I should have left her alone. I shouldn't have pushed her.

"Because I have a fucking therapy session to go to, Edward! I have to go sit in a badly decorated room for an hour and listen to a total stranger analyze these past couple of months for me. I know what fucking happened to me, I don't need someone to tell me I'm acting differently because of it. And I don't need you poking around my damn business!" Bella shoved me aside and stormed out the door, not looking back. I stood in the doorway, stunned, until Alice hesitantly walked up to me.

"What happened to you?" She asked, taking in my dejected form and forlorn expression.

"I'm not exactly sure." I admitted, looking out into the parking lot just in time to see the red truck pull out onto the main road. "We can go." I finally said grudgingly, tucking my notes under my arm. "Where's Rosalie?"

"With Emmet." Alice said, walking quickly to keep up with my long strides. "Seriously, Edward. What's up your ass?"

"I honestly have no effing idea." I muttered, unlocking my car and popping the trunk so Alice could put her matted (A/N: As in a cardboard frame around the piece)artwork in the trunk, where it could lay flat. "So how was the art show?" I asked sociably, putting the key in the ignition and easing out of my parking space.

"Great. I won ribbons for all my pieces." Alice said happily. "And Jasper won a lot of ribbons too." She peered up at me through her jagged bangs, her eyebrows raised. "You know, Bella had a piece in the art show."

"What?!" I asked, surprised. I had never heard Bella say anything about art.

"Yeah, it's in the trunk with my stuff. She didn't pick it up today, so I just figured I'd take it with mine and you could bring it to her." Alice reasoned. "It was really good, Mr. Davis couldn't believe she didn't show up to the show. The piece won second in watercolors." Alice fell silent for a moment, her expression thoughtful. And then, her bright smile was back on her face. "Ask who won first in watercolors." I rolled my eyes playfully, knowing my little sister was just excited.

"Hmm….would it be Alice Cullen, by any chance?" I played along.

"How did you guess!?" She chirped cheerfully.

"You know, I've heard she's amazingly talented." I added. Alice's eyes light up and she smiled even wider.

"Thank you, Edward." She murmured. "It means a lot to me."

"You really are talented, little sister. Don't ever forget that."

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A/N: Ew…I have to pack now. Anyway, please review and I hope you are enjoying the story.

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie