The Diary
Chapter 12: Hero
Hero—Skillet
Amazingly, the song name actually goes along with the chapter for once! Hey, that's pretty damn awesome.
It's kind of pathetic how I get excited about those little things, isn't it? Another song that would fit this if the chapter was slower, is Hello Again by the Lost Prophets. Check it. And Holding Out for A Hero (Shrek 2 version.)
Again, I say this every time I put a Christian song up here. I'm Christian, I'll just go ahead and tell you that, if you didn't already know. But look, I'm not trying to convert you by making you listen to "our" music. Really, I'm not. I'm one of those people who's like: "Do whatever you want. I'm cool with it." In all seriousness, I have one of those "COEXIST" stickers on the back of my car, so really—I'm not trying to convert you. I don't want to convert you. If you don't want to listen to the song, then for the love of Pete—don't.
The songs, as my more loyal readers are aware, are just there to help you visualize the scene. They're there to give you what I listened to for the chapter and what best fits the emotions the main character is experiencing. I listen to the lyrics, and if it goes, it goes. Nothing else to it. In this particular chapter, Cara is saying she needs a Hero, whoever it is—Jake, Edward, Mom, Nahuel? Or maybe she's saying she needs to stand up and be her own hero. You choose.
OOO
"No."
Aro's black eyebrows rose up to meet his hairline. The papery, fragile-looking skin between his brows crinkled. He was surprised.
"No?" he repeated in confusion. "And what are you declining?"
I stood up, the white bear dangling from my childish grasp. The air was suddenly too thick, the atmosphere too heated. I felt like retching again. I couldn't—I wouldn't . . . My mind was racing, trying to come up with a suitable, scientific explanation for something so entirely wrong.
"Why?" I asked, instead of answering his question.
Aro chuckled. He chuckled. It was a high-pitched, almost feminine sound. It reminded me of nails scraping angrily against a chalkboard. "We do this all the time, my dear. Survival of the fittest. Have you ever read Dalton's works?"
"A thousand times," I informed him tightly. His explanation had done nothing to calm me.
"Then you must know," he said simply, ending that conversation. "Now, my dear, what did you come here for?"
His little dust-off made my mind stutter. I couldn't help it. Something inside me snapped.
"No!" I screamed, throwing my arms back, my curls bouncing down my back with the motion. "I won't!"
The guard was beginning to get a little nervous. I could see it on their stone expressions, the shifty eyes, the way their neck muscles tensed in preparation. It was obvious they didn't know what to expect. I was a Cullen, so therefore I must be civilized. I must know about their culture. I must know that what I was doing was suicidal.
Yeah, I did. I also knew I was a little bit crazy. Deranged.
"Are you attempting to copy your father?" asked Aro in a subdued, almost awed voice. "Because, if so, I guarantee I won't traverse down that path once again."
That stopped me embarrassingly short. "Pardon?"
"Edward never told you?" muttered Caius, not looking happy at all. The delay in his idealized battle had put a damper on his eagerly sadistic mood. "He's quite dramatic when he needs to be."
"I don't understand." My gaze didn't waver from Aro's, imploring him to explain. Had my father been here recently? Had he gotten himself killed . . . for me? If so, that was unbearable. I would follow to apologize.
"Have you ever read William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet?" inquired Jane, an unsettling smile upon her lips.
I didn't like where this was going. "Of course."
"Then you'll know what I mean when I say . . . star-crossed lovers."
"I beg your pardon—?"
"Some years back," she began cockily, "your daddy dearest barged in here, severely indisposed, and demanded death."
"Death?" I choked out.
"Quite," she confirmed. "Your mother threw herself off a cliff."
No. No, no, no. This was ridiculous, completely ridiculous. My parents? Suicidal? What did they have to be so upset about? They hadn't nearly killed their parents! They hadn't forced a werewolf to fall in love with them! They hadn't gotten molested on a street in Arizona while a helpless girl watched!
"You're lying."
Jane hissed, suddenly looking all kinds of ferocious. Demetri placed a tentative hand on her tense shoulder. "Hush," he murmured. "The girl is insane."
"She called me a liar!" screeched Jane. Her eyes flashed dangerously, her lips curling back from her teeth in a vicious snarl.
I realized it was a mistake before I hit the floor.
The pain—pain so bad that it made it impossible to think. It was as though a million—a zillion—needles were thrusting themselves through the lobes of my brain, twisting, probing deeper. And then it got worse; knives, white-hot knives, stabbing at every angle. Pain, pain, pain.
Faintly, I heard someone scream.
"Jane."
It stopped, but the memory was still there, as sharp as nails. Nails that prickled against my forehead. My breathing uneven, I forced myself to look up at Aro.
"Refrain your temper, Jane," he murmured coyly.
She hissed again, the sound low and threatening. I quickly stood, straight and tall. Don't show weaknesses.
"Child," Aro said, this time to me. I stared at him. "Why are you here? I will not ask you again."
I could not speak—the words stuck in my throat. Silently, grudgingly, I offered my hand. He took it without hesitation. The effect was instantaneous: a startling shockwave that burst out from me, into him. I felt it swirl around us. His gift, my gift. They were similar.
"Ah," Aro said after a moment. "You are exceedingly like your father. You blame yourself for everything, do you not?"
Not until lately, I told him.
"Shame. You do have such a beautiful mind, lest it be tainted with such doubts." He gave me back my hand, apparently done with his probing. I snapped it to my chest. "Do you still want to know if the offer stands?"
Some of the Volturi didn't like that. I heard them hiss, murmur, snarl and growl. I gritted my teeth, looked Aro in the eyes, and slowly shook my head. Fear and Anger rose within me, looking for a way out, any way out. It came in the form of words. "What I have seen today has opened my eyes," I whispered. Somehow, someway, my voice was low, low and threatening. Scary. "Even I am not as horrible as all of this. As all of you."
I waited for Aro to say something. He didn't.
"I wouldn't join your coven even if all the others were gone. I would kill myself first."
Still, they said nothing.
"You will not control me. Not with your power, not with your freaky little gifts! You cannot bestow upon me any amount of pain that would make me degrade myself to this. You could not. You won't. You can't take away anything that would alter the course my mind has taken. You want me to murder innocent children? You want me to stand over there like them and await the next victim that walks in here oblivious to what she may or will witness? No!"
Silence met my speech.
"You will not control me," I said again, narrowing my eyes. "And I am not afraid of you."
I hadn't thought that one through, not really. I realized, a bit too late, that I'd just snubbed Aro in front of all his subjects, everyone that was remotely important. This inspired my next question.
"Do you want to kill me?" I uncrossed my arms and held them stiffly at my side. "Then do it."
OOO
Charlie fumbled with the small phone, struggling to flip it open. His thumbs were too big for the numbers, his eyes too weak for the small screen. "Uh, Jake? Want to help an old man out?"
They'd had to buy a new one after Jake had destroyed its predecessor. Jake grimaced, snatching the phone from Charlie's hand and enfolding it in his own. He had to hand it to Charlie, though, for even thinking about this at all. Jake, himself? He wasn't too fond of the whole phone call thing anymore. He wasn't sure how much more bad news he could take.
"Carlisle?" he muttered into the phone.
There was a brief moment of silence. "No," said the vampire on the other end. "This is Jasper."
Jasper. Oh, God. Did that mean Carlisle was hurt? Dead? Had something bad happened to him. "Is the good doctor there?" asked Jake lowly.
Amazing how Renesmee had changed his entire perspective on the Cullens. He didn't hate any of them, not anymore—not even Edward, with the exception of the present circumstances. He'd had seven years to get used to the stench, and it barely bothered him anymore. And speaking of scents . . . Renesmee.
"He's unavailable."
Jasper was always rather short with his speech, which kind of irked Jake. "Why?"
"Er . . ."
"Hunting?" Jake guessed.
"No," said Jasper. "He's actually on my phone. With Nahuel."
Something ice-cold slithered through Jake. "Nahuel, the half-blooded vampire, Nahuel?"
"That's him."
"Wait, wait." Jake rubbed his temples, frowning. Charlie, beside him, exchanging a nervous glance with Seth. He still wasn't all-too crazy about the wording Jake used. Like . . . vampire.
"Tell it to me from the beginning. I thought you guys were going to Italy."
OOO
Aro didn't move.
I didn't move.
The guard didn't move.
"No," proclaimed Aro finally. "We will not. You came here to insult us? Very well. I hadn't expected anything less from a daughter of Edward. He was always more Do you wish for anything else?" I said nothing. "Then take your leave. Now."
If Aro could sound angry, he did. I had the feeling I was very, very lucky.
I backed up, slowly, keeping my eyes on them all. They darting nervously between the guard, between Aro, Marcus, Alec, Jane, Caius, Felix. Felix looked a little regretful, but relieved. I remembered a distant memory—he liked my mother, found her amusing. They'd joked around at the battle so many years ago, if only briefly.
He didn't want to see me dead.
I kept my eyes on him for a longer moment, longer that the rest, conveying my thanks, and then I turned.
And I fled.
My feet barely even touched the intricate tile as I flew over it, but before my obnoxiously slow self could reach the giant double doors, a snarl ripped from someone behind me, and it wasn't a warning.
I spun, just in time to see Caius launch himself in my direction, all teeth and red, flashing eyes.
"No!" he roared, landing just short of me. "Not again!"
He threw a heavy-fisted punch in my direction, and I danced out of the way easily. He was past enraged, absolutely livid, not thinking straight. He'd be easy to avoid, according to Jasper.
Don't look at their eyes, he'd told me during one of our lessons. Watch their body for clues as to where they're going to hit next. And watch carefully. Don't look at any one place, and don't let your eyes dart around wildly, or you'll miss something. Keep everything in your perspective at all times.
"You escaped once!" he growled at me, a gnarled hand going for my throat. I backed up, and his fist curled around dead air. "Not again! You're an abomination, a half-breed! A mutt, like those filthy wolves!"
Aro and Marcus exchanged a nervous look as Aro reached for me again. They didn't look pleased that their brother had disobeyed their orders. Aro flicked a finger, and Demetri and Felix nodded, advancing.
I really hoped their object was Caius, not me.
Caius noticed them, and turned to face the larger threat. I whipped around and raced from the room, down the large hallway, out of range.
Or, I thought I was out of range. Not a moment later, the faster, stronger, and scarier Caius was in front of me.
"Still running? You can't run for that long."
He was right. I was breathing hard. I was already a little winded. But as he reached for me once again, I ducked under his arm and kept going. Surprise, I thought. Element of surprise. I wouldn't be able to fight him offensively. The only way I'd get out of this alive is if I played on the defense. Or, if I ran like hell.
I felt his fingers snag onto the hem of my shirt, dragging me backwards for a brief, terrifying moment, right before the fabric ripped, propelling him backwards, me forwards. I heard shouts from behind us—Felix?—but I kept going, pushing my legs faster, breathing hard.
"Caius! Stop that!" Felix bellowed.
I saw a pillar, felt Caius getting closer, and launched myself up high, grabbing onto the ledge. I was right beside a window. A big, beautiful, stained-glass window. It was my only way out, unless Demetri and Felix could somehow restrain the raging, bear-like creature below me, who looked like he was about to come up to my level.
Felix took one look at me and shouted, "GO! GO NOW!" And then he launched himself at Caius, latching onto his back, yanking backwards. Caius roared once more and fell back, glaring daggers at me, his hand reaching for me.
"Get out of here!" yelled Felix again.
In a bit of a haze, I trailed my fingers gently against the gorgeous art of the glass. Orange light, splitting into a thousand colors, glittered like gemstones as it streamed to the floor. On the faces of the fighters below, it glittered into diamonds. Making their faces almost beautiful in their horrifying stances.
"Sorry," I breathed.
I launched myself through the glass, watching with a sort of fascination as it shattered, and then I hit the ground in a roll, pushing myself up and forward, over the beautiful green lawn, over the hidden holes where I heard confused bickering, over the high wall that separated the royal vampires from the unsuspecting people below.
The glanced at me suspiciously as I lowered myself to the busy street, but I didn't care. I rushed for my car, parked at the end of the street, and threw myself inside, fumbling for the keys to slide into the ignition, and peeled out of Italy.
I didn't turn on the radio, didn't turn on my brain. I just drove.
Oh my God, I thought, coughing. I almost died. I almost died!
Something I had almost wanted before now seemed horrible. Terrifying.
OOO
"She's in Brazil?"
OOO
Sorry if this is a little late to your liking. It just wasn't right the first few times I wrote it. I still don't feel too hot about it.
Oh, and remember the Jake, Carlisle, Charlie, Seth, Jasper, and all the Cullens are in the past than Renesmee. If I had to say how long, I'd probably say about a day or two behind her. She's quick, and she's changing her mind a lot. And Alice gets delayed visions because she's not really looking for anything to disappear.
Hope that wasn't too confusing.
Jamie.
