Summary: Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts is filled with taunting dreams and dark secrets. Sirius' death fresh in his mind and bleeding in his heart, he finds his body taking the abuse for his pain as he blames himself. Harry Potter has fallen on hard times and this time he is not able to stand back up on his own, doesn't have the strength to stand back up on his own. How will he ever find his strength again to continue to battle against Voldemort whose power is growing at a rapid rate? Plus who is this new transfer student in Slytherin house that is following Harry around? A beautiful new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher has also come to Hogwarts, but the question remains will she make it through the year or does this teacher have a secret agenda like all the others. Is Harry going to have to fight for his life as well as his friend's lives yet again this year with his will teetering over the edge about to fall? Find out in the story Longing to be Found.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, ideas, or location's, found in the Harry Potter universe, it is property of J. K. Rowling, and found in movies produced by Warner Bros. The storyline concept for this particular fanfiction was created in the recesses of the twisted mind of this writer. I do however own the two OC's (original characters) in this story so please do not copy them.

Warnings: DARK! Contains mature content and adult themes not suitable for young children. Slash (male/male relationships beyond friendship; also known as yaoi), non-con (rape), strong language, PWP at times, self mutilation, self gratification (masturbation), OOCness, AU

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!...

Rated:M/NC-17
Drama/Angst

Longing to be Found…
By: TwilightKitsune1-REBORN

Chapter Twelve
- Dreams -

The next morning Harry could feel himself beginning to wake from a fitful sleep. He wondered for a moment what his dream had been about but as he tried to recall all he could see were images slip through his mind as though they weren't for him to witness. The only clear image that played in his mind before scattering into the darkness of his mind, was a person standing with their back to him; and blond hair. Harry wasn't able to tell anything else except for the blond mane that blew in non existent wind. Harry couldn't see if it was long or short, bright or dull. It was just blond hair, and then whoever it was faded away. To be honest though Harry was glad to finally have a dream that did not involve Sirius in some way. It was enough that Harry thought of his godfather though his waking hours, to be tormented by the guilt in his dreams was more then enough to drive Harry to the brink.

Harry wiped sleep from his eyes and lay there for a few moments longer. He didn't want to move, didn't want to start the day, or even think all too much. This was the first real break Harry was going to have and he wanted to try to start it off right. The curtains around the four poster bed obstructed Harry's view from his dorm mates but by the sound of it it sounded as though most were still sleeping. Harry could hear snoring and grunting from those still sleeping. Some mumble things Harry couldn't understand while others flopped around on their beds. It was a wonder he could sleep through the noise they made sometimes.

Deciding it would probably be better to get up Harry slowly and as quietly as he could began to move and start the day. It all involved not tripping over his bed covers that had somehow wrapped itself around one of his ankles, finding his glasses, holding in a string of curses as he stubbed one of his toes onto his trunk, finding clothes, and not casting the incendo spell on his trunk as it slammed down onto his thumb when he tried to close it quietly. After all that Harry left finally heading for the showers, cautiously closing the door behind him so not to wake those still sleeping inside; thankful no one woke during the string of morning accidents.

)-(_)-(_)-(_)-(_)-(in the shower)-(_)-(_)-(_)-(_)-(

Harry couldn't help himself as the water ran over his body; he tried yet again to recall the dream. It was the first time in a long time he had felt anything other then depression pushing in on him and he knew it had something to do with that dream. Closing his eyes Harry focused and replayed what he could remember. There was the blond again, standing there... His back was to Harry but there was something else… Something. As Harry tried to focus in on what it was it all broke apart.

Frustration lanced through Harry quickly when he realized he hadn't been paying attention to the blonds appearance at all so Harry couldn't really say much on what this person looked like or who they may have been except they had hair that was definitely blond. Closing his eyes Harry tried again, this time all Harry got was a fuzzy outline, as though it were distorted somehow, as though it were becoming blocked. Deciding he had had enough of this Harry relinquished his hold on the image and opened his eyes.

For a moment Harry felt dizzy, almost weak, and cold even though he was standing underneath the heat of the shower's water. Harry's knees nearly gave way underneath him and dropped him to the floor. Suddenly he felt arms come up around him to steady his balance. "You alright mate? Don't want you falling in here and busting your head on something. Where would the team be if their captain went funny in the showers?" Harry heard Seamus say from behind him.

Harry could feel his body go rigid from the sudden contact and it took Harry's exhausted mind a moment to catch up with his body. He was naked and being held in the showers! Alone! Slowly Harry turned his head so he could look at Seamus and saw a friendly smile on the other boy's face. "I'm fine. Guess I'm still waking up is all."

"No worries, I'm waking up myself and needed a shower. Glad I did since I got an amazing view walking in and I got to have you in my arm's for a second." Seamus said before letting Harry go. "You'll be okay now?" Seamus asked still concerned, "I gotta get cleaned up but I won't mind sticking close by if you need me to?"

"I'm fine, besides I'm nearly done." Harry said turning to finish rinsing his hair and feeling his body loosen up a little.

"Don't be to shy to call me over if you need help with your back." Seamus said with a wink and a playful laugh before walking off to a different part of the showers a little ways away.

Harry smiled, Seamus really was a great person and he did watch out for everyone he cared for. Shaking his head Harry quickly finished washing. He'd worry about the dream some other time since right now he had more important and pressing matters to attend to in the waking world. He had a detention with Draco Malfoy to worry about right now.

XxXxX—XxXxX—XxXxX

Harry walked the hall, his feet feeling heavier then they had been. He didn't want to rush to Professor McGonagall's office to receive the 'instructions' on what they would be doing for their first detention together. No matter what it was Harry was certain he would not be enjoying his weekend like many of the others that were already up and wondering the castle. Harry couldn't help but wonder why he had to serve his detention with Draco. Yes they had been fighting but to make them spend more time together, especially during the punishment for fighting was probably only going to cause them to be at each other throat's... Dumbledore was beginning to lose his touch. 'Hello Harry. What are you doing up so early on the weekend?'

Stopping to look around him Harry tried to find Alex. It never failed, Harry thought as a weariness came over him, whenever he was alone Alex would sneak out of the woodwork to whisper in his ear... Well mind. Shaking his head Harry threw that thought from his mind and spotted Alex standing at the entrance of the castle. Harry raised an eyebrow at the boy's appearance. Alex's cheeks were flushed and he seemed to be breathing heavier then normal. He was also slightly leaning against the frame of one of the doors as he looked straight at Harry, as though he didn't care if anyone saw his gaze directed at Harry. 'I've got detention today... I could ask you the same question. What have you been up to?'

'Just a morning run is all. Do them all the time... Don't you trust me?'

Harry continued to stare at Alex for a moment and let the question hang in the air between them. The truth was Harry didn't know who to trust other then Hermione and Ron and those in the Order that he cared for. He had yet to decide if he wanted to let Alex in on anything that was actually worth letting him in on, he had yet to decide if he wanted to even risk the boy's life if he was going to stand there and openly lie. Harry could see it in his eye's somehow, there was something more that Alex was not telling him that he had done this morning other then a "morning run". 'I trust those who don't hide Alex, so when I know you aren't hiding I'll tell you if I trust you or not.' Harry finally responded and actually saw Alex recoil from him for a moment before turning his face away.

'You'll hear it all from Snape anyway.' And with that Alex walked away heading towards the Slytherin Dorm's without even a backward glance.

Harry stared after him for a few seconds before it finally dawned on him. "Voldemort." Without even another thought Harry was off, no longer heading to McGonagall's office but to Dumbledore's. What could have happened that would call even Alex from the castle so late in the night?.. Or had it been early in the morning?

XxXxX—XxXxX—XxXxX

Harry's fist's pounded on the door's that lead to Dumbledore's office. He had to know, needed to know. Last night there had been no vision, no forth coming information from Voldemort's mind which meant one of two things: Harry had grown stronger and was now able to block images from Voldemort's mind while he slept; or Voldemort had purposely hidden this task from Harry. The later seemed far more likely to Harry since he had been so distracted by that damned dream earlier he never really questioned its origin. He cursed silently under his breath and began his onslaught on the door again. "Professor Dumbledore! Sir, are you in there?" Harry shouted. He wanted to shout out more, to ask about the happenings of last night but…

"Harry, calm yourself." Came Dumbledore's voice as he opened the door, Snape standing not far from the headmaster's desk. "What are you doing here, you have detention do you not?"

"Yes, but—"

"But nothing Potter! You think you can brush off your punishments?" Snape interjected stepping forward.

"Sir last night?" Harry started ignoring Snape completely which caused an angry blush to form on the man's face.

Dumbledore raised one of his eyebrows to Harry from behind his half-moon spectacles. "Did you see something last night Harry?" Dumbledore asked, his blue eyes flashing brilliantly.

Harry looked to the ground and though part of him wanted to tell Dumbledore about the dream a deeper part of him just wanted to keep it a secret thinking it nothing more then a dream. If something horrible happened, Harry would explain to Dumbledore his thought's but not with Snape standing there glowering at him! "No sir, I didn't see anything. I ran into… I was just informed about something happening but I wasn't given any details. I wanted to see if anything happened, if anyone… was attacked."

Dumbledore looked to Snape and Harry followed Dumbledore's gaze. Snape was now looking away, out the window Harry had seen Dumbledore look out of many times before. Harry knew it surveyed the ground of Hogwarts, looking out far into the distance. Harry wondered silently why Snape had suddenly decided to walk away from the conversation he had been so adamant about stopping only moments ago. "Harry, something did happen but… All I can really say is, soon Miss Granger will be tested and you must stand as you are, and when you see her understand this is their way. She will need you more then ever to not be lost in the woods."

"Sir?"

"Now you have a detention to get to. You better go or else you'll be in far more trouble."

"Yes sir."

"Potter." Snape called out as Harry turned to leave. Harry looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I am sure she will be fine if you remain by her side Potter… Just make sure not to be caught and if you are try not to hurt her while making it believable that you both remain hating one another. You must remember that. You are the enemy of the Dark Lord and she has put herself in the line of fire for your friendship."

Harry held those words close to him and knew that as the days would go by the time he and Hermione would get to have to talk would only get harder. "Thank you Sir." And with that Harry left.

"And that finishes my report Dumbledore." Snape said as he moved back to the chair he had been about to sink into.

"It will be a hard road for her, that Granger." Dumbledore said as he pulled out a piece of parchment. "I shall have to tell her now before she reads it in the paper… To think she had caught Voldemort's eye before she has even left Hogwarts."

"It's as I told Potter. Because she is, or rather was, friends with Harry Potter, and was or possibly still is close with you, Voldemort will want her now. However, because she is a Mudblood she will have it by far harder then most in his ranks so to make it a small bit easier for her this is Voldemort's way of being kind."

"Also Voldemort's way of testing her." Dumbledore said as he began to write on a slip of parchment.

XxXxX—XxXxX—XxXxX

Harry could feel his hands throbbing as he lifted his hand to knock on the door that lead to Professor McGonagall's office. His mind was still racing with thoughts, his heart was filled with his worry for his friend, and he couldn't shake the growing dread that seemed to want to over take his heart. It was as though something was coming and he couldn't stop the flow of fate as it rushed against him, throwing him along its rapids. "You're late Potter." McGonagall's voice came as she opened the door.

"I know ma'am, I had to—" Harry paused as he saw Draco standing in the corner of the room glaring at him.

"He probably just over slept." Draco scoffed and then looked away.

Harry could only glare at the blond as he stared at the opposite wall no longer acknowledging Harry's presence in the room. "I didn't think I'd have to deal with you right when I came here.. So what are you doing here?"

"Really Potter, you are something that is far from amazing. I don't see why people—"

"That is enough!" Professor McGonagall said, her lip thinning, and reminding them that she was still there. "Really, I don't know how well this detention is going to go." McGonagall said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry Professor." Harry said. Draco said nothing, his head stayed bowed to avoid all eye contact.

"As for your detention you'll both be helping Professor Sprout for a while. She'll give you the detail's but I don't want to hear anything that is anything but outstanding behavior." McGonagall handed Harry a slip of parchment. "If you understand then you are to head straight there and get started. Hand her that parchment Harry, Draco Snape should have given you yours; then she should start you on your detentions."

"Yes ma'am." Both boy's said this time then only glared at each other again before turning and trying to be the first out the door.

"This year will definitely stay interesting with those two." McGonagall said with a small laugh to herself before turning to papers that sat waiting for her on her desk.

Harry walked a little further ahead of Draco in the hallway, his mind still a scattered mess from the mornings events and his dream that was becoming nothing more then a shadow in his mind. Lost in his musing's it took Harry a moment to catch that Draco muttered something under his breath. "What?"

"Just saying how you are a teacher's pet is all."

"What was that!"

"Now you've gone deaf Potter?"

"Only to whatever you say."

"Psht, no wonder you have joined the losing side. You don't listen to those who know best."

"'Those who know best' in your eyes are idiots and cowards Malfoy." Harry corrected Draco.

Snarling and his fist's clenching Draco took a moment before his look turned cocky. "I guess you mean Granger then don't you?"

Harry felt his feet freeze in its movements before he even fully processed what he was doing. He had turned on Draco, wand in hand, and now stood waiting for Draco to draw... Draco never did, he just stood there with a look Harry could not place as he stared down Harry's wand. Slowly Harry put his wand away and turned his back to Draco. "You wouldn't understand a thing Draco. People make choices that someone like you... Could never see or understand."

Draco said nothing for a while until they reached Professor Sprout's office just outside the castle. "Potter. I may not see these 'choices', but if you continue like this I'm sure the Dark Lord will and his victory is ahead of him. Just now you turned your back on an enemy, remember that." And with that Draco passed Harry and continued inside.

As Harry watched Draco go he couldn't help but wonder, how many times did Draco turn his back on Harry?

End Chapter Twelve (12)

A/N:Okay so it has been a while since I've been able to work on this story.. Partly my fault, partly because my computer finally kicked it –sadface- Oh that was a sad day when I lost all my files! Thankfully I had double saved them on a USB and written them on paper so I wasn't too lost. Just set back on actually 'writing' it. I got One-Shot's out –Wootness- I used my mother's old compy to do such amazing things like that ;) But NOW I finally got a replacement computer and my files have been uploaded and updated (cause I had a few while I was MIA) and now I'm back to writing and making havoc in the universe! Mwahahahaa!

I know this seems more of a filler chapter but I have to get you guys to touch the story again before I delve you back in. Promise it will be picking up soon. It should be at least ;) More mysteries, new alliances, shocking discoveries, and of course the years of youth go on in a time of war... How's this all gonna play out? Well just keep reading and you'll find out!