The Hollywood Blockbuster Ending Version 1.0
AKA: Considering What They Pulled Last Time...
Setting: Inside smoke-filled, burning, charred, and over-the-top formatted TARDIS
Doctor: Thank heavens you were here, Rose. Thanks to your unspeakable beauty and my unimaginable brain, we have defeated -Insert Impossible Villain Here- !
(Notes: Impossible Villain should be Time Lord known to be dead long before this point, or Time Lord who died by unlikely means at the beginning of the movie. I fancy Saliavin - since he wasn't even a bad guy in canon - or Morbius - since even Time Lords stupid enough to resurrect the Master wouldn't be THAT stupid. Oooh, or that loser, Cardinal Hedin. That would be ridiculous!)
Rose: The TARDIS! She's HURT! The TRAGEDY!
Doctor: I'll just use a very, very old, miraculous, and non-sensical technique to repair her. But first, Rose... -Leans over to whisper in her ear, grinning wolfishly-
Rose: -Heart in her eyes- Oh, Doctor! -Leans over to whisper in his ear, smiling seductively-
(Notes: Background music turns interesting. Should be something romantic and beautiful by John Mayer. More likely to be new West Life edition of a crap tune by Air Supply.)
Doctor: -Pulls Rose close- I've been meaning to do this for a long time!
-Hollywood dramatic kiss, full contact, tongues and all-
Doctor: -Picks up Rose-
Rose: -giggles-
(Notes: Scenes that follow should be interspersed with archive footage of their interaction, air-brushed, if necessary. The more Youtube, the better.)
-Doctor carries Rose down smoking, blazing, strangely decorated and unfamiliar corridors-
-Fade to black-
-Fade into delicately beautiful bed in the midst of the wreckage. Love scene, carefully choreographed to show Rose's breasts at least once, the Doctor's backside at least twice, quite a few highly suggestive facial expressions and more than one soft, erotic noise. Silver-blue glow should be seen to be coming into existence around their bodies.-
(Notes: Appropriate scenes of previous interactions should continue throughout love scene. TARDIS corridors should also be shown coming back together, repairing damage, clearing smoke, clearing damage, all under the influence of silver-blue glow.)
Rose: Doctor!
Doctor: Rose!
-Fade to black-
-Fade into sleeping couple curled together in bed in room that is now in one piece. Golden light appears around Rose.-
Rose: -vanishes without a sound-
Doctor: -Wakes immediately- Rose? -Melodramatic expression, close up of tragic, somehow fully clothed Doctor- ROSE!!!!
-Door flies open. Jack and Bonus-Companion-for-Real-Star-Power-as-Played-By-Hugh-Grant-or-Someone-Else-Just-as-Unlikely enter at speed-
Doctor: -Is upset-
Jack: What's happened?
Bonus-Companion: We can't find Rose.
Doctor: She was here. -Thumps pillow, pulls it close, looks tragic- She was RIGHT here!
Jack: -twinkle, grin, wink-
Doctor: -Stormy-eyed glare- Something's taken her, Jack! We have to find her!
Bonus-Companion: -Sheepish smile- You slept with an alien?
Jack: -Cheeky wink- So did you!
Bonus-Companion: -Blush-
-Close up of Doctor's face, looking angry, dangerous, and hollow eyed-
Doctor: I will find you, my Rose! I am the Last of the Time Lords and I have powers beyond the dreams of human kind. No force in all this Universe can keep you from me. I will find you and we will be together, forever! I swear by Rassilon, Omega, and my own mysterious and ancient secrets! I swear on the power that burned all Gallifrey! In the name of the Oncoming Storm, I will find you and we will never be parted again!
(Notes: The Doctor has never ever sworn by Rassilon. He is not noted to have sworn at him, either. Therefore, this is necessary for a Hollywood Blockbuster.)
-Fade to black, roll credits-
