Chapter 12
OKay everyone one, I am sorry about the long wait! I have been so overwhelmed with exams and work lately that I just have not had the time to to write the next chapter! But here it is, FINALLY! Sorry about the huge time gap, but I hope this will make up for it!
JACE'S POV
When I was younger, on the very few occasions when my father was not working, we would go out to the ocean.
It was most special when it was just before a storm.
Sometimes, if I listened real hard, I could hear the gods yelling at each other. The thunder would roll. The ominously beckoning sound would silence everything. Make it still until the next rumble rolled through the darkening sky. Stating its claim over the clouds.
"They're angry," my father would always say, his eyes, much like mine, staring up into the sky with wonder.
"Did we do something wrong?" I'd ask. He would always give the same answer.
"No, they just like to remind us every now and then who is boss."
As the sky begins to darken, and the rumble of the thunder grows in volume and power, making the trees around us quiver and quake, I'd know what was about to come.
For an instant you could feel it. The complete and utter silence, as if the world was holding its breath. Waiting. The calm before the storm.
Then streaming light would light the grey sky. A mighty crack would accompany it, making you jump in your seat at not only the sound, but the sheer beauty of it. They would always remind me of life-filled vessels, pulsing with power, like the veins of the gods.
But storms eventually faded, leaving little of their presence behind. Except for the memory.
That's the thing about storms. You fear them when they surround you, overwhelm you. But once the thunder has silenced and the lightening has faded, and all you have left is the sensation, you mourn the storms absence.
Here. Sitting here now, I know that feeling. All too well...
"Hey..."
I came back to reality when I felt someone nudging my arm.
Looking to my right, I saw Alec. He was watching me with what looked like concern. The expression seemed out of place on his face.
"Huh?"
"Are you alright man?"
I frowned. Looking around I remembered that I was still sitting in class, and Mrs. Robinson was droning on about square roots at the front of the room. God I hate math.
"Yea I'm fine, why do you ask?" I tried to pretend like I was listening and paying attention to the lecture, but I wasn't fooling anyone, not even myself.
"Well after you showed up at my house last night..." he shrugged, "I know I said I wouldn't ask, but you've been so strange lately that I'm...worried."
Saying that was uncomfortable for both of us.
"Listen, I'm sorry, if you don't want me crashing at your place I can find somewhere else."
"That's not it Jace," Alec muttered. "You're my best friend. That means I know you. And this"—he gestured to my exhausted looking position in my chair—"isn't like you."
I leaned back in my chair, pushing my hand through my hair. I hadn't even bothered to brush it this morning. "My father was being a psycho, I don't know what else to say."
"Okay, what about before?" He pushed.
"What do you mean?" I said, tone flat.
"You know what I mean. You have been like this since the weekend."He pulled his chair closer to mine. "You can tell me Jace, you know that."
For a split second I actually believed him. I believed I could open up and tell him all my shit. Get the heavy burden off my chest. I could picture me telling about how my mother left, how my father was drunk and how'd he'd hit me and me him, how I thought I was falling in love with a beautiful red-haired stranger...
But Alec, because I knew him would judge me, without even doing it intentionally. They all would. The world I come from, flaws are exposed and exploited. They make or break a person in my world. Every move was scrutinized. Perfection was the norm, anything else was just...unacceptable.
But before I could even open my mouth to come up with another excuse, Mrs. Robinson interrupted me.
"Mr. Wayland and Mr. Lightwood? Is your conversation so important that you need to interrupt me with it?"
I could hear Alec mutter "yes" under his breath but I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest, sitting straighter in my seat.
"Good, now class can anyone tell me what..." as she droned on, my mind travelled.
Last night when I'd shown up at Alec's he'd let me in without a word. Ever since we were young we had made a pact. Every time home life got hard we could always turn to each other, no questions asked. Though I have admittedly used this pact more than Alec, he still never said anything. For a moment I reconsidered telling him everything, but I knew it was my burden to bare, and mine alone.
When I'd awoken this morning, I hadn't even wanted to get out of bed, let alone go to school. Alec's constant prodding to get my ass in movement didn't even motivate me to get out from under the covers of the bed that I was staying in, in the spare bedroom.
I didn't know what the appeal was, but Alec loved school. He was smart, was passing with easy A's and he was never late a day in his life. I've known him since preschool and I only ever remember him taking off a few days due to sickness...whereas my count may have been significantly higher.
The of course there was Isabelle, Alec's younger sister. She was also a large reason why my motivation to go to school came seemingly out of no where and got me out of bed. I remember pulling the sheets off my face and seeing her standing beside me smirking after Alec had finally given up on trying to get me up.
"Hey sleepy head," she'd said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Don't get me wrong, Isabelle was gorgeous but she was a little too high maintenance...and even a little scary. Which I found out years ago when I'd thought I was interested in her. Luckily I'd been cured of that little idea quickly. After I'd expressed my interest, Isabelle had gone from being cool and mysterious to being obsessive and clingy. Which coming from her was excessive and scary as hell. When I'd broken it off with her, much to Alec's relief, she'd been a little...unhappy.
But Isabelle's version of 'unhappy' was leaving odd notes on my car...in bright red paint and capital letters. There were only so many ways someone could spell jerk. Hers were quite creative though, I'll give her that.
Luckily, after a while she'd cooled down, but now she seemed to take my disinterest as a challenge. Which she takes very seriously. She flirts every chance she gets...among other things.
"Isabelle, what do you want?" I'd mumbled, pulling the sheets back over my face.
"Oh nothing, I just heard you weren't going to school today, so I figured we could hang out. I was gunna skip too."
After she said that I peeked over the cuff of the blanket. She was smiling at me seductively.
I'd never jumped out of a bed so quickly. "You know what, I think I will go," I managed to say as I threw a shirt over my head and yanked on the same jeans I'd worn yesterday. "I'll, uh...see you later!" I ran out the door and caught Alec just before he pulled out of the drive way.
When I basically jumped into the car, hair all over the place due to my lack of shower, I must have looked like a maniac. "Let's go." I looked up through the cars windsheild and could see Isabelle smirking through the front window. "Now."
"What changed your mind?" Alec asked, eyeing me curiously.
I shrugged, trying to act casual. "Nothing, just had a change of heart I guess."
Coming back to the present, I was relieved when class finally ended, the bell shrilling for longer than was necessary. I rose from my chair, quickly followed by Alec. But instead of trying to ask me more like I'd expected him to, he just looked at me and smiled.
"Listen Jace, whatever it is, I just want you to know that you can talk to me." He coughed gruffly, then punched me in the arm, lightening the tone. "And next time you choose to come to school to try to avoid my sister, please don't sacrifice showering. You smell terrible."
I opened my mouth to say something, but just ended up laughing. This time it was genuine. "I'll try to remember that. Was I really that obvious?"
"Well the look of sheer terror on your face when you got in my car was a pretty good clue."
"Sorry man, I know she's your sister but...she definitely doesn't take after you in the 'cool and calm' area. I think those genes may have skipped a generation."
Alec shrugged, pulling his bag further up his shoulder. "She can be a bit excessive at times but she means well..." when he saw my expression he added, "usually."
When we got to our lockers I noticed someone standing beside mine. "Hello Principle Garland," I said politely, though still a little curiously.
"Jace, I was hoping I would catch you." She smiled at me then at Alec. "Could we talk for a moment in my office, I promise I won't make you too late for your next class." Her smile remained, not giving anything away. Damn she was good.
"Alright." I looked at Alec. "I'll see you later?"
Alec nodded, though he was eyeing the principle skeptically. He knew as well as I did that every time I was called into the office, Mrs. Garland was never smiling, and I always knew why I was being summoned. But this time, I drew a blank.
When we got to her office, she gestured to the chair in front of her desk while she took hers at the head. "You are probably curious why I asking you here today, Jace," she said, practically reading my thoughts.
"Just a bit," I murmured, tucking my hand in the front of my sweater.
"Well, it was brought to my attention that your father has been calling the school today." She frowned. "A few time actually. He seemed to think you were missing."
"He thought I was missing?" I sagged back in the chair. Images of him lying uncouncious on the floor came to my mind.
She continued. "I was as surprised as you, but don't worry, I assured him that you were in fact in class." She smiled again, though it was a little tense. "I just wanted you to know that if there is anything wrong, anything at all, the student counsellors and I are here to help, with anything."
For a moment my mind was blank. Then her sincere tone and her concerned eyes practically hit me in the side of the head. "Listen, Mrs. Garland, I was just staying at Alec's last night, my father had been at work and I guess no one told him where I was. I have my phone so if he needed to get a hold of me, he can through that." I assured her, feeling relieved when the concern faded slightly from her face. I thought about the phone that I'd taken the battery out of and left in the trash bin at the curb of Alec's house.
I rose from my chair. "Was that all?"
She nodded, though remained in her seat. "You may go back to class Mr. Wayland."
When I left the room, I exhaled, as if I'd been holding my breath. For a moment I considered heading for the exit door, and just running.
But I finally realized that I needed to stop running from my problems.
My problems, much like the storms that fascinated me, and still do even now, need to be stood through. I had to bare through them and their overwhelming presence, through their unexpected flashes of fear and pain. Because, maybe, just maybe, when it was all over, I would appreciate and learn from them.
And maybe, just maybe, miss them when they were gone.
Hope you guys enjoyed it! I feel like this is a good step for Jace, especially in finally accepting his reality and not running away. I also chose not to focus so much on his feelings for Clary, not because they weren't important, but in this part of his journey they didn't really apply.
Review and tell me what you think! I love reading what you guys have to say :)
I can't guarantee when the next chapter's coming (Clary's POV) but I hope I'll to it soon! Hope you guys all have a great week and thanks for reading!
Oh P.s. when I was wring the beginning of this chapter I was listening to Garth Brook's "The Thunder Rolls". Great song if you like old country, and even if you don't you should give it a listen!
