Spoiler warning: Don't read if you haven't done the mission "In your heart shall burn". Minor spoiler warning for what the Winter palace is like, I guess.
The first months at the Winter Palace
Ali had thought that the Winter Palace would be an exciting place to be, but the truth was that it bored her. Everyone were so wrapped up in themselves and some of the things they fought about were absolutely trivial. It's like they didn't know that there was a rift in the sky or that there was a civil war going on, instead they were bickering over who stole who's shoes or who was having an affair with whom. Ali wanted to be back in Haven, with the real people. With the people who didn't hide behind masks. And with the one masked person that Ali just wanted to be near.
At least it was easy enough for Ali to just blend in. Leliana had done all the groundwork for her, all Ali had to do was pretend that her name was really Regina Amaleoné, otherwise she could be her own awkward self. Even the empress herself seemed to mainly be amused with Ali's clumsiness, and timidness. And the tasks were simple and mostly pleasant. Sing for the empress. Do her hair. Listen to her talk for hours about nothing. Stand in attention behind her, like a pretty flower or statue. It was easy for Ali to understand her role. And after several weeks at the Winter Palace, it was easy enough to put on a mask of her own.
…
"Oh maker, that is so sad."
"Everyone dead."
"I heard a river came and washed them all away."
"All they found after the monster left was their clothes, everyone had been obliterated on the spot."
"There is only a crater left."
"I heard the rift is even bigger now."
Ali couldn't help but hear all the talks around her as she walked through the empress day room with a tray of lemonade and several cups.
"Have you heard? Haven has been wiped off of the map."
Suddenly everyone quieted as Ali's tray fell to the floor and all the glasses were crashed against the marbel. Everyone turned around to look at her, but instead of apologizing and blushing, Ali left the tray and spilled out lemonade where it was and headed to the nearest of the empress advisors.
"What has happened?" She exclaimed at the woman's masked face, "what has happened in Haven?" The woman's eyes were slightly wide but she didn't say anything, it took everything Ali had to not lift her hands and shake the woman. She couldn't think properly.
"What are you doing, Regina?" The advisor eventually hissed, "you messed up the floor."
"Tell me," Ali said, but she forced herself to at least lower her voice, "please tell me, what has happened."
An authoritative voice behind her made Ali turn around and drop her gaze imidiately.
"We heard about trouble in Haven," the empress said, "and when we sent scouts to find out what was really going on, and Haven is gone. Covered in snow. What is left reeks of blood and fire. Our guess is that no one survived."
The world stopped. No survivors. Ali felt like she couldn't breathe. Like she was buried by the snow. She remembered how cold it could be. How it would feel if the snow covered her body, her face, her nose and mouth. No air. She tried to breathe but couldn't. Before Ali knew it, her knees buckled. She was unconscious before she hit the ground.
…
"Regina. Regina, ma petite, why don't you wake up now? Regina?" Ali didn't know where she was at first, or why the feminine voice was calling her Regina.
"Where am I?" She asked, trying to open her eyes but her eyelids were so heavy.
"You're at the Winter Palace, at the empress' court."
Everything came rushing back. Her mission. Her alias. Haven. Leliana. Leliana dead. Ali sat up and was met by the bewildered face of one of the other chamber maids.
"Are you okay?" Fredrica Pan du flute said, "I took care of the lemonade, you don't need to worry." Ali didn't understand what Fredrica meant but then she remembered. The lemonade. Like she worried about broken glass and some spilled lemonade. Nothing mattered anymore. She wanted to lay back down and sleep.
"The Empress says you can rest for the rest of the day," Fredrica continued next to her, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Ali felt like she was buried under six feet of snow.
She nodded. She had no intention of resting, instead she wanted to seek out Minereva or any of the other NIghtinggale agents. Any one could have heard anything. If Leliana was truly dead, Ali needed to run. Disappear. Go back to Ferelden. Or anywhere. Far away from the breach in the sky.
"Thank you," Ali said, slipping back into her role, "please convey to the empress my deepest regrets for missing the card game this evening and for… the lemonade." She met Fredrica's masked face and smiled, although it hardly mattered since she was also wearing a mask.
…
"Minereva? Are you here?" The stables seemed empty so Ali wasn't worried that anybody would see her there, and if they did, she could say that the smell of the stables and the sound of the horses reminded her of joyful despair, or the stables back home, or something else depending on who asked. Ali walked further into the stable, when a hand came out of nowhere and pulled her into the box of a horse.
"What are you doing here?" It was Minereva, undoubtly one of the tallest of Leliana's agents. She was now looking down at Ali with fire in her eyes.
"I… I came… I wanted to ask… Lelia-"
"Don't say her name!" Minereva let go of Ali and looked away. When she looked back, her eyes were angry and full of tears.
"So it's true?" Ali said, her own eyes watering, "it's really true!"
"Shut your mouth," Minereva said, "how are you going to explain to the others that you're crying and moping all the time? Over people who don't even matter."
"She mattered!" Ali couldn't help but raise her voice, "she matters."
"You think I don't know that!" Minereva said, "but she mattered to us. To the Inquisition. Maker bless her soul. Not to these false people who reside within these walls."
Ali couldn't help it, she fell to her knees in the straw, put her face in her hands and started sobbing loudly.
"Stop it!" She heard Minereva say above her, "you need to stop it now." But Ali didn't stop it. She wasn't there anymore. Her heart was encased in a snowy tomb.
