As per usual, I do not own Darksiders. Thanks go out to my wonderfully awesome beta detrametal. Wish I had a giant demonic puppy…
As soon as we stepped out of the tunnel, Mayhem squeezed past us and started tearing apart the demons waiting there. How cute!
We made it past all the General Knockoffs, Fuglies, and the occasional fire bats that were just standing around. Seriously, didn't they have somewhere to be?
Walking up to Samael's prison, we saw that he was just standing around too. Him I can understand though.
Mayhem actually whimpered and hid behind me like I would be able to hide his huge bulk. I reached around and scratched him under the chin and he seemed to calm down a bit. Was Sammy really that scary? Even to other demons? Or especially to other demons?
War handed him the Heart and he started chowing down. Didn't even offer us any. Didn't want any cause that's gross but still.
"One more… Just one more - and then, War… you get your Tower. Silitha's web-infested lair is far across a great chasm in the Ashlands."
Wait a sec, did he say web-infested?
"Ruin has yet to regain much of his strength, but he will make the distance. As for Silitha - " he said, getting closer with each word. "just get there, and she'll find you."
Oh dear… I don't like the sound o' this…
"The Broodmother is a collector of sorts. Most who enter her realm, she feeds to her young. The ones she takes and interest in…" he threw in a chuckle for good measure, "ah, those are the unlucky ones."
"Broodmother"? "Feeds ta her young"?! I really shouldn't have gotten out o' bed.
"Those she keeps alive. And they can live a long time… long enough to tell her things. You could say she collects stories. Information."
Why doesn't she write all that down er somethin and let 'em go?
"What stories will she tell me about you, Samael?" asked Big Red.
Oooooh… bad question.
Sammy got angry. "Careful! Or your ending will be a tragic one! Sometimes the hero dies in the end." He calmed down a bit after getting in War's face and making excessive hand motions that involved balled fists and pointed fingers, "But Horseman… I like stories that have a happy ending. Now bring me the final Heart!"
He likes happy endins? That's surprisin. But that "sometimes the hero dies in the end" sound too ominous ta be a simple angry comment.
I guess that was our cue to leave but I stopped Sammy before he could go back into his prison.
"Hey Sammy, can I ask ya somethin?"
"What is it Little Hope?"
I wondered for a moment if he was still kinda angry but went on anyway, "Why come I ain't hungry er sleepy er thirsty? Ya'd think that after a hundred years my stomach would be tryin ta eat itself but it ain't."
He chuckled but I'm not sure why, "Your body has stopped. For the most part."
"…And by that ya mean…?"
He came closer and tapped a sharp talon of a finger against my sternum, "Your heart beats, you breathe, and you think but the rest of your body has stopped. You no longer need rest or food or water."
"Cool, I guess. So, does that mean I won't grow old? I'll stay twenty forever?" Yes, in case I haven't mentioned it before, I am twenty years old. Don't act like it though. I have a young soul I suppose.
"Yes, you will stay the way you are now forever."
I ran my hands though my hair, "Fuck… I'll never be able to drink. I wasn't going to but it would've been nice to know that I could legally. Oh well, thanks."
"One more thing…"
"Hm?"
He waved his hand through the air and Mayhem sank into the ground and disappeared.
"What the Hells did ya do ta Mayhem?!" I know it probably wasn't the smartest move to yell at him but when have I ever made smart moves?
He outright laughed, "Calm down Little Hope. He has been banished to the Far Fields."
"The Far what? Don't matter, how do I bring 'im back?"
"Just call him."
Skepticism pushed aside, I did as he said, "Mayhem!"
The demonic puppy came back up out of the ground, practically right underneath me. I hugged him partially because I was glad he was back, partially to keep myself from falling on my butt.
"You can now summon and banish your demon as you wish."
I thought about sending Mayhem back to wherever that far place was and he sunk back into the ground with a wag of his tail.
"Cool! Thanks Sammy! Catch ya lates!"
He went back into his prison with another chuckle as I ran to catch up with the Horseman.
"We need to get across this chasm in the Ashlands. The Iron Canopy, and the final Guardian are on the OTHER side." The Watcher came out and said after I joined them. Aw, he actually waited for me. How sweet.
How does he know what that place is called?
He went back in War's gauntlet and we made our way to and through Vulgrim's Serpent Hole to the Ashlands. It's absolutely fan-frikkin-tastic to be back here! And so soon after we left! You know what else is fan-frikkin-tastic?! Sarcasm!
We made our way back through the desert until we came back to the cliff that we completely ignored last time. As we got closer, the pillars on either side of the path started glowing and rose into the air.
"Well, if that's not a sign that were goin the right way, I don't know what is."
"That is the Soul Bridge."
"Don't sound very safe but lead the way."
War summoned Ruin and jumped on his back and I did the same with Mayhem. And we rode. Towards a cliff. I'm not so sure that this is a good idea anymore.
The Horseman charged Ruin through the two pillars and off the cliff. Greenish stones appeared beneath the warhorse's hooves as he ran across to the other side.
"Alight, ya ready?" I asked, patting Mayhem's neck.
He snorted and I took that as a yes and we followed War over the chasm, speeding up as we got closer to the pillars. I couldn't help but look down as we crossed. Heights don't really bother me but… wow. That would be a very long way to fall and would not result in a comfy landing.
We made it to the other side, safe and kinda sound, and we rode down a large sand/ash pathway with cliffs towering on either side. Speaking of cliffs, on them I could see what looked like large spider webs. Which couldn't be good. If a there was a spider large enough to make those webs, I sure as fudge didn't want to be anywhere near it.
The farther down the path we went, the more webs there were until the cliff faces were practically covered. Good sign that we were getting closer to the Ick Queen's lair. Bad sign for my nerves.
We ended up at another cliff with no way across.
"What'd we do now?" I asked the Horseman.
"Samael said that the Broodmother would find us."
That's when I noticed some green ick dripping down behind War.
"Um, Big Red."
We looked up to see spiders the size of large dogs slowly coming down from their webs.
"Holy shi-"
They attacked and I think I passed out.
I had a dream, which was unexpected. No, that's wrong. It felt more like a memory but I don't remember it happening. I wonder… if this was a memory from after I died…
I was floating again. This time, though, it wasn't in that pitch blackness where I first saw War. This time I was in a swirling blue vortex. I felt so… free. Not weighed down anymore. It took me a moment to realize that I felt that way because I had no body. I also realized that the blue was other souls.
Suddenly, I didn't want to be swirling around with them anymore so I broke away to go sit in the eye of the storm. Couldn't really sit given the fact that I had no body but whatever. I'm more of a "watch and see how badly you screw up then use it as blackmail later" type of person rather than a follower.
There was no time here - or way to tell it - so I have no idea how long I sat there watching the millions upon billions of souls fly by. I saw some that I knew, most that I didn't. Even saw some actors and the like. Would have been exciting had I, or any of us, been alive.
Something else entered the vortex, but it wasn't another soul. I could feel the abnormality of it. Apparently all the other souls could too. Probably because someone who still had a body, who was still alive, didn't belong in here.
I couldn't make out much about him since the more I tried to focus, the blurrier he got. All I could really tell was that, yeah, he was a guy, he had black hair, and glowing orange eyes.
He reached out as if he was falling and trying to grab onto something. I don't know why - or how for that matter - but I grabbed his hand. Everything went black.
I woke up with a headache and thinking that I should really start listening to that whole stranger danger thing and found myself wrapped in a spider silk cocoon. With the Horseman nowhere in sight. Great.
Luckily, the cocoon had a little wiggle room and I could reach my knife and cut myself out. It was also lucky that I wasn't that far from the ground so that when I fell out it didn't hurt that much.
I took note of my surroundings. I was in the corner of two buildings in a dead-end alleyway. Up ahead I could see orange hooks floating in random places and an orange and black seal blocking something. Also, there were spider webs everywhere. Ev-er-ry-where! Fucking spiders…
As I rounded the corner to search for War, I heard tearing and a grunt as someone fell to the ground. Looks like my long search was over. He walked out of an alcove and I waved at him.
"'Sup. As much as I dread it, I reckon we should start lookin fer the Ick Queen."
"The… Ick Queen?"
"Spider Bitch. Silitha. Whatever ya wanna call her."
He blinked - in understanding I guess - before walking towards, and over, a bridge of webs and… a bus. Well shit. Gotta hand it to those spiders, they're creative if nothing else.
After we crossed the bus bridge, a spider climbed down from off one of the buildings. Usually I don't have a problem with spiders, even big ones. But one that is as big a golden retriever? Nuh-uh. No way. Negative. 10-74. Nope. Fuck the Hells fucking no.
I am not ashamed to admit that I hid behind Big Red as he simply stepped on the creature.
After that, he ripped open the web covering the way we were supposed to go. We went through and found… more spiders. War dealt with them and we had a chance to look around. Or would have had if the sprite hadn't come out and grabbed our attention.
"Over here!" the Watcher said, flying to the other side of the room. "Doesn't look like you can do anything against tall dark and gruesome yet. Best to avoid it for now."
"Then why the fuck didja yell at us ta come over there?"
Though I had no idea what he was talking about until I looked up and saw an even gianter tick spider hanging from the ceiling over a rope of web connecting the two upper levels of the room. Yes, gianter is not a word. Looked like we had to hit the Chronosphere on the other side of the room then climb across while time was slowed. But first, Big Red had to smash the blue crystals to our left blocking our way. And find a way to actually reach the rope which was way above us.
After the crystals were gone, our problem was solved. The crystals were hiding a pedestal that we climbed on top of once War got it into place.
I hopped onto his back before he threw the Crossblade at the CS and we were able to make it across the room before the Spider Tick could even turn around. Those things were really useful.
We jumped down the elevator shaft - well Big Red jumped, I glided. The bottom led us back outside and into another dead-end alleyway. Continuing on, we came to a ramp leading up and we had no choice really but to follow it.
"The Rider approaches!" a Fallen Pansy shouted, flying at us. I might not be able to handle the spiders here but this guy was easy, which was kind of backwards I suppose. The Horseman got to him before I could though.
Anyway, we were able to continue on to another, less sturdy looking bridge made of web and random boards of wood.
"Uh, Big Red? This don't look too safe."
"We have to cross it."
"Yeah, I know. Just… sayin."
I hesitantly took the first step and it groaned under my weight. It might actually collapse under War's. I hurried across - trying not to stub my toe on anything - and waited on the other side and listened as it groaned even louder under the Horseman.
Hurry, hurry, hurry before this thing really does fall apart.
He'd almost made it when the bridge collapsed and he had to jump the rest of the way.
I frikkin knew it. Does anyone ever listen ta me? Hells no.
There were icky vines to our left but they just led to a Key Eye to which we did not have the key. Yet. So we went on down the alley, was attacked by more Pansies and another spider, and found another web-covered doorway. What an eventful day. Can I go to bed now? I'm pretty sure my nightmares would be easier to deal with than this place.
Through there we found a lot more Little Icks and a room that looked half way demolished. Metal beams crisscrossed the room and one was even hanging from the ceiling by more spider web. Strange pod like things were scattered throughout the room.
We went ahead and dealt with the spiders - many of which Big Red had to shoot with his gun, Mercy - before he started to explore the room to find where to go next. I felt I would only be a hassle so I stayed by the door.
Crossing over a narrow strip of concrete, he went to the right first where one of the pods was. As he got closer, it started to shake and exploded when he sliced at it with Chaoseater, sending Little Icks flying. So I guess they were sort of like egg sacks. Gross.
Once he was close enough, he was able to shoot the egg sack weighing down one side of the hanging beam and more Little Icks exploded out.
He jumped down to the floor where they landed, squished them, destroyed the other pod, squished the spiders that came out of it, destroyed the blue crystals revealing a lever, then finally turned the lever and raised a CS. Having done that, he climbed to the top floor and destroyed another egg sack and the Little Icks inside it.
After that, he climbed to the edge of a beam and jumped onto the hanging one. I could hear it creak as it tilted so that the opposite side was raised up to a small room where a chest sat. War then threw the Crossblade at the CS then ran to the other side so that he could jump into the room before time sped up again and the beam tilted back down.
In the blink of an eye he was back on my side and we were heading out of the room and back into the alley. We made it to the end where the bridge had been and climbed the icky vines to the Key Eye. Why do I get the feeling that there's going to be a lot of very annoying climbing on this field trip?
In any case, Big Red stabbed the eye and we were through. In the room beyond sat another pedestal, more Icks, and a Tick directly below us. The only reason we knew it was there was because the floor seemed to be made of glass and we could see through it. Also, there was a Creepy Claw hanging from the ceiling. This day really couldn't get any better.
As usual, we dealt with the spiders first, the Tick staying under us the entire time.
The Horseman pushed the pedestal under the Creepy Claw who snatched it up right away. We went to the hole in the far corner of the room which led to the lower room with the tick. Yay. Can't you just feel my joy? Once we were by the hole, War threw the Crossblade at the Claw, making it drop the pedestal and actually knocking the Tick from the ceiling and onto its back on the floor.
We had to be quick about this. We jumped down the hole and ran along the wall and jumped onto a ledge on the other side. Lady Luck seemed to be on our side for now because we made it before the Tick could pull itself back up. When it did, it seemed confused about where we had gone and stayed by the hole we'd jumped down. Ha, loser.
We left that room through another door and up a stairway that led back outside. Apparently we were expected as a Mr. Bones covered in green fire rose up out of a green portal and showed off a bit and hissed at us before actually attacking. He was soon joined by Little Icks and two more green Mr. Bones.
After the Rider dispatched the first one, another popped up. I don't think Big Red cared that much though. Gave him something to do besides run around solving puzzles. I did what I could and killed the spiders with Severance. We all do our best in such trying times. Every time War killed one of the skeletons though, another would pop up until they finally realized how futile it was.
When we were finally done with that, the seal blocking the silk-covered door dispersed. We could move on! Into another *gasp* spider filled room! Yay! I really wish I was a tree.
On the other side of the room, something on the icky vines exploded and one of those weird things came out and started thrashing about.
Big Red seemed to know what he was doing so I let him take the lead and he jumped down into a hole that divided the room in two. I watched as he pushed some kind of machine with a bomb on top onto a platform. He then climbed back up on some vines and jumped back to my side where he turned a lever and raised the platform. He pushed the machine to the very edge of the floor and - using that wicked looking gauntlet - punched it so hard that it went flying over the hole and onto another platform on the other side of the room. Wow. Just… wow.
I followed Big Red across the room and up the icky vines. We had to slide back down a couple of times to avoid the Vine Buddy and the bombs. Eventually we made it up and he was able to destroy the red rocks blocking our way with the bomb.
In the next room were more Little Icks, of course, and a lot of wheelchairs, bed frames, and gurneys. I wonder if this place used to be a hospital or something.
We made it to the middle of the room - intent on ignoring the spiders and making it through the hole on the other side - before an orange seal appeared and blocked our way out.
"Great. Just frikkin great. What wants ta bother us now? Can they not see that we're tryin ta do somethin here?"
I didn't get an answer from anybody as Crystal the Undead Idiot popped up out of a portal with three or four skeletons.
I tried to stay out of the way as the Horseman dealt with them and took care of the Little Icks skittering about. Despite the fact that they were the upgraded version, it didn't take Big Red long to take the skeletons out after Crystal was gone. We thought it was over but then a Flaming Jerk showed up.
"Ah shit."
It jumped down through the multiple holes in the roof and I could see that it was also an upgraded version. While the other one was blue, this one was paler and had black rocks covering it sort of like armor.
It was also faster as it rushed at War with a roar. Big Red just barely managed to dodge out of the way as the demon slammed its flaming fist into the ground. It then grabbed the Horseman in both hands before he had a chance to recover and tried to crush him. He struggled to push the demon's hands away but failed and the Flaming Jerk picked him up in one hand before squeezing him and throwing him to the ground.
I know it was stupid but I ran up behind the demon and started hacking at him with my ax so Big Red would have some time to get back up on his feet before he was attacked again. Thankfully he was up and at 'em before too long and I didn't get hurt! That's a first. But Big Red learned his lesson and managed not to get hit or grabbed anymore and soon the Flaming Jerk was disintegrating on the floor and we could move on.
The hole in the wall just led to a hall and another web-covered door. Through that door was another room with more egg sacks and even more… Ya know what? I'm not even gonna say what they are. Maybe if I don't mention them they'll go away forever. Or we could just squish them until there are no more left. Mwahahahahaha! *Ahem* Anyway…
We crossed the room and into another hall and up the vines leading to another hall and back outside.
In front of us and to the right was a giant orange seal with a - what I guessed was - a spider on it. Four other smaller seals with the same spider circled around the larger one. If my time at the Bat Bitch's had taught me anything, it was that this was where the Ick Queen was hiding.
Hanging a left instead, we jumped down onto another barely held together bridge and started to make our way across.
"Why do I get the feelin that this one is gonna fall too?" I asked as I went ahead of Big Red.
As expected, as soon as War got to the end, the bridge collapsed and he had to jump to make it. Consequently, he hit me and we both ended up sprawled on the dirt covered web. That's backwards isn't it? It should be web covered dirt… Oh, to be anywhere but here.
His weight crushed me to the point where I could barely breathe, "Would ya… mind… gettin off…me?"
With what sounded like a mumbled apology - which was really odd - he got up and after a minute of struggling we were both on our feet and ready to continue.
The Horseman ripped open the web door into the next room. Which was blocked by a Key Eye. So instead he went right and into another hallway. Yay.
We'd almost made it to the end of the hall when the floor just gave out beneath us and we fell.
"Kuso!"
I landed on my back, a sharp pain lancing through me. Big Red landed on his feet in front of me and started killing the Little Icks on the wall.
"Fate just has it in fer me don't 'e?" I groaned, trying once again to stand. I could feel something sharp stabbing into my back just below my shoulder blade. With a little help from War, I was finally able to get to my feet. Only to find a broken board more-or-less nailed to my back. "Well… ain't this just fan-fuckin-tastic. Hey Big Red, would ya mind doin me a favor and rip this thing out?"
I turned around and he grabbed ahold of the board. He didn't even ask if I was ready before yanking it out. Gritting my teeth to keep from screaming, I wondered if my healing plan covered tetanus too.
I managed to get out a thanks before we turned into an adjoining hall and was promptly attacked by Icks. Still injured and very much in pain, all I could do was watch as War smashed them all beneath his boots.
"So," I asked him as we walked down some stairs, mostly to keep my mind off the pain, "are there other things out there?"
"Other things?"
"Yeah, like vampires and werewolves and fairies. Since there are angels and demons I was just wonderin. Oooooh, are there dragons?"
We stopped before going into the next room where a very loud hum could be heard.
"There are other worlds where such things exist."
"So there are other worlds besides Earth." I mused. "How many other worlds are there?"
"Countless."
"Neat." Wonder if I could visit some of these worlds one day…
We went on into the next room where another one of three faced stone containers was chained to the ground. Y'know, the thing that was holding the Crossblade. It was another one of those things. Other than it and the spider webs, the room was empty.
War went to the… thing and started slashing at it. When enough damage was done, the chains broke and it did the usual rising and spinning until it revealed… actually I'm not sure what it was but it slipped over Big Red's smaller arm.
Once it was on, he spun and shot a chain at something hanging from the ceiling. When the chain retracted, it brought the something with it which War threw at a Little Ick, crushing it.
Then a Tick dropped from the ceiling.
I know that it wasn't up there a moment ago.
The Horseman shot the chain at the Tick and yanked it back, ripping the Tick's shell off. It was no longer a Tick but a gross giant spider. But - for the sake of confusion - we'll still call it a Tick.
Anyway, the pissed off Tick jumped half-way across the room and nearly landed on top of us. Big Red dashed out of the way, taking me with him, and the real fight began.
I stood at the sidelines and watched as the Horseman and the Tick took turns slashing at each other. Every once in a while the Tick would get in a lucky shot but War was the one really kicking ass.
Finally Big Red was able to cut off its front two legs before stabbing it in the mouth and slashing upward, cutting the Tick open. And that was that.
"So what's your new toy called?" I asked, going to join him.
"The Abyssal Chain." He answered as we went back the way we came.
"Cool." was all I got out before he lifted me up under his arm and shot the chain at a blue hook thing way above us. We were instantly lifted off the ground and went swinging up onto a ledge. From there, he shot it at the icky vines and we were pulled towards them.
I really need ta get my own grapplin hook thingy. Cain't have 'im carryin me 'round like a sack o' taters.
We made it to the floor above and dropped down into another room with a Key Eye in it. We climbed up some more icky vines on the other half of the room. This is where it got a bit tricky. We swung up and over a hole in the floor into a room where a Chronosphere was. I stayed clinging to Big Red's back while he turned it and time slowed. War shot the Abyssal Chain at one of the grappling spots and we swung forward. He retracted the chain and before we could even start to fall, he shot it at another spot and we went swinging again. Right under some Creepy Claws. They were slowed by the CS so it's okay.
We made it past them and Big Red opened the chest holding the key just as time was catching up. The Problem now was getting past the claws again.
We got up close to the gate blocking our way, "So how do we get back across without gettin eaten?"
He didn't answer and grabbed my belt before jumping up.
Well, this is new.
As soon as he jumped, one of the Creepy Claws snatched him up.
Oh dammit. Today's not a good day ta get digested.
As soon as we were above the gate, he threw me forward. I hit the ground and rolled to a stop while he busted out of the claws grip and jumped to the ground.
"So…" I said, getting up, "thanks fer that and assumin you're okay, shall we move on?"
We got past the key eye and back into the hallway where the floor had fallen out under us earlier. Huh. We'd just gone in a circle. Which meant that we were headed back out to where the second bridge collapsed. But now, thanks to the chain, we had a way across.
"Hey, didn't that seal thingy have four little circles earlier?"
"Killing the larger spiders must remove them."
"Neatos burritos. Guess we should go find the rest o' 'em then."
So we started tracing our steps back to find the next Tick to kill. While we walked, I started making my own little grappling hook.
I hope this works. And that I don't burn myself in the process.
I took three of my pocket knives that were roughly the same size and, gripping them by their hilts in my right hand, I heated it up until I could feel them start to meld together.
It's workin. Cool. I mean hot.
We made it back to the room where the undead popped up earlier. Except this time, a Tick and some spiders came skittering through a hole in the ceiling.
"Ah dammit. Sorry Big Red but I cain't help ya right now."
He just grunted as he drew Chaoseater.
Dancing around the fight, I kept working on my hook and poked a hole through the bottom of the molten metal so I could attach a chain or a rope to it. Next were the blades. Good news is that the heat didn't affect my left hand. Bad news is that I cut myself a few time. I preferred to keep my knives sharp. In any case, I managed to bend them into hooks and even make little barbs at the ends so it'd have better grip.
Just as I'd finished, so did the Horseman. Meaning another Tick - and another seal - was gone.
I ran over to show War what I had made. "Now I need a chain er a rope er somethin ta swing it by." I mused, wondering where I could find something like that and walking towards the next door. I heard the sound of metal snapping behind me and looked to see Big Red breaking a few links off the Abyssal Chain.
"This should suffice." He said, handing it over.
"Um, thanks but is that a good idea?"
We watched as the chain still circling his arm fused itself back together.
"Well okay then."
We walked on through another room with a few Little Icks and I attached the chain to the hook. Or, more correctly, it attached itself. The other end attached itself to one of my belt loops.
Hm, guess that works. I tried stretching it this way and that and found that the chain just grew longer. Wonder how that worked. I gotta practice with it. Now that I think about it, makin this thing was probably pointless. All the grapplin spots are way too far away fer me ta throw. I'll have ta find some way ta shoot it er somethin.
We eventually made it back outside… where we were attacked by more spiders… I also noticed a Fallen Pansy corpse. I had an idea.
Guess the spiders killed 'im somehow but I thought that they disappeared when they died. Oh well, better fer me. From what I'd seen, their wings worked more like fancy jetpacks than actual wings. Guess they just kept them for the sake of looking like angels. Anywho, I was about to do something gross.
Big Red got done with the spiders but I waved him off, "Go ahead, I'll catch up in a bit." He left and I went back to my grisly work. Okay it wasn't that grisly but it was still gross.
Since the corpse was leaning back against a wall, I kicked it to where it was laying down and I could get to his wings and remove the little doo-dad that let them fly.
"Let's see… if I put that here… and do this…" I tinkered with my hook and managed to attach the angel's propulsion thingy to it. Happy with my work, I gave it an experimental toss and it went flying up and hooked onto a window pane. "Hm, guess it works." I managed to pull it down and went after the Horseman.
I found him already fighting the next Tick and a couple of those green flaming skeletons. I jumped down to help and started slashing at the Mr. Bones. He got done before I did though… Either way, that's another one down.
Speaking of down, the seal blocking the door dissipated and we were attacked by Little Icks. But the Horseman just stepped on them and that was the end of them. We were able to climb up the elevator shaft and into the room above where we were attacked by even more spiders. I really hate this place. Wonder if we'll be able to burn it before we leave…
"So just one more!" I exclaimed.
"Two." War replied.
"But there's only one more Tick left and one more little seal."
"There is also a bigger seal."
"…So ya mean that there's an even bigger Tick out there?"
"Most likely."
"Great."
Back outside, we had to swing across the chasm to the other side where the last small tick was. At least my grappling hook works pretty well.
War shot the chain at the Tick, bringing it down. Where it fell through the floor.
I looked down the hole but didn't see the giant bug, "Ya know what they say, age before beauty."
He looked at me before jumping down the hole and ripping the Tick's shell off. I followed soon after but stayed out of the fight.
After he was done, I took note of our surroundings and found that we were in the morgue. Yay. That's not creepy or anything. I wondered if there was in bodies still in the coolers but wasn't about to check. In any case, the only way to go led to a room where cocoon things hung from the ceiling and a huge blue crystal sat in the middle of the room.
"Why do I got a bad feelin bout this?"
We made our way deeper into the room but we didn't get too far before the ground started to shake and some of the blue crystals shattered. It took me a second to realize that the thing in between the two actual crystals was the last Tick. It smashed the rest of the crystals before pulling itself out of the ground and sucking up the cocoon on the ground.
I had to hang on to Big Red's arm so that I wouldn't be sucked in too. When it was in reach, the Tick Mama chomped down on the cocoon, causing blood to gush out.
…What was in that thing?
I never got my answer cause then the fight began. I used my hook to get up off the ground and away from the fight as the Tick Mama tried to suck up the Horseman but he found out how to make it stop. He shot the chain at one of the cocoons hanging from the ceiling and brought it down then he threw it at the Tick Mama who started chomping down on it… I kinda feel bad for whatever's in there. If it's still alive, that is.
Anyway, while it was eating, War ran around to behind it and started punching it with the gauntlet he got at the Crybaby's place. It only took two hits for the crystals protecting it to smash, revealing disgusting, red flesh beneath it. Gross.
It then went on the offensive and started attacking like there was no tomorrow. Whether it attacked or not, it still didn't have a tomorrow. Jumping and creating shockwaves, dashing forward, the usual. It tried sucking him up again but he threw another cocoon into its mouth then went around and started slashing at the exposed flesh. It didn't like this and decided to do a couple of jumping jacks. Big Red jumped when Tick Mama jumped and managed to dodge the shockwaves. One more round and War was able to finish it off.
He stabbed Chaoseater into the exposed flesh, all the way up to the hilt, before climbing up onto its back and punching it repeatedly with the gauntlet from the Crybaby's place. The Tick Mama stumbled around the room while he did this and crashed into a wall. Big Red jumped down, grabbed his sword and cut the last Tick open. And that was how the Tick Mama's story ended. Sammy wouldn't have liked that story, it didn't have a happy ending. Not for the Tick Mama anyway.
"Over here!" the Watcher said, coming out and floating to the only way out.
"No dur." I patted him on the shoulder, "Ya know, I don't know how we would be able ta do this without ya and your amazin detective skills. I mean, it's not like this is the only way out er anythin. Oh wait…"
"That's enough from you human!"
"Aw, but I'm just gettin started."
We made our way to the web door as the seal blocking it disappeared. Through the door was another ledge, which we jumped down and into the water below. Then was more climbing into another room where a weird snake… demon… thing came writing out of a portal on the ground and floated off into another tunnel.
"Well where's Mr. Slithers goin?"
"Ambush." War answered.
"Probably. But we got no choice but ta walk right inta it do we?"
"We will be ready for it."
"Then let's get goin."
We jumped into the tunnel and made it to the other end but didn't see Mr. Slithers anywhere in the next room, "Yup definitely an ambush."
Didn't matter cause we went on anyway. As usual, we got to the middle of the room before our ways out were blocked off by orange seals and the snaky demon came writhing up again.
"They could've done better."
Mr. Slithers did some kind of fire magic trick, making pillars of flame rise from the ground to try and hit us. War hit the demon with an uppercut then threw Chaoseater, stabbing it and pinning it to the ground where it died. Then a couple of Mr. Bones popped up and I could join in! It's a dream come true! Or not.
Another Mr. Slithers showed up along with a couple more of the undead. When they were out of the picture, a Puppy showed up. I couldn't fight it for multiple reason. One: have you seen those things? They're huge. Two: it was the same type of demon as Mayhem, I would feel bad. That didn't stop Big Red though. But then another one showed up, which I tried to distract while the Horseman defeated the other one.
After everything, the seals fell and we could move on. Up a ledge. Down a hall. To a dead end. Or, not exactly a dead end but more of a cliff. I couldn't see the other side or the bottom but there were a lot of windy orbs and grapple spots.
This should be fun, if we don't die that is.
Big Red motioned for me to climb on his back but I declined. I was going to do this on my own.
War went first, I guess to show me how it's done. He jumped to the first orb, opening his wings and rising higher, then shot the Abyssal Chain at the grapple spot, swung to the next one, then to the next orb. Then I lost sight of him.
This ain't gonna be easy. Is there really no other way round?
Suck it up Hope. If ya wanted an easy way across ya shoulda hitched a ride with Big Red.
Yeah, yeah… How many times do I have ta tell ya ta go away!
I took a deep breath and got a running start before jumping to the first orb and making my way across. I made it to the other side to find Big Red hanging onto some vines and waiting for me. How sweet. I'd gotten to the last grapple spot and was swinging towards the icky vines but I disengaged the hook too soon and didn't quite make it.
Ah… fuck… not again. I remembered my dream from earlier and wondered if I'd wind up back there in that swirling vortex.
Hell no! I've done too damn much and come too damn far ta die now! I'm gonna live even if it kills me! Er if it kills someone else. Preferably someone else. Grabbing my grappling hook again, I threw it at the vines where it burrowed in. I was safe.
I grinned up at the Horseman, "Close call huh?"
Climbing across the vines, we managed to make it to the next ledge. After that was another hall, more stairs, and another ledge. And we were back in the room with the Creepy Claws and where the Key Eye was. And where we were attacked by two Crystals. Yay. Did I ever mention how much I love being attacked by undead idiots? Cause I hate it. With a passion.
"I will cleave the flesssh from your bones." One of them said.
"Big Red's bones er mine? This is an important question ta me."
Didn't really matter cause they died. Well, not immediately. After one was gone, two of the Fallen Pansies showed up. I was able to take care of them while War dealt with the other Crystal.
"Let's finish this!" a fallen angel yelled before attacking. More of them kept showing up though. Even a Flaming Jerk decided to join the party. It tried to crush the Horseman but he broke out of its hold and flipped it over onto the ground. Again, we went our separate ways in the fighting.
Before we knew it, we were done massacring the obstacles. How did I know we were done? The seals went away! Whoo! Damn this place to the ninth ring of Hell…
In any case, I'ma fast forward to the part where we make it to the Ick Queen's front door. Why? Because I'm lazy and there's only a bunch of climbing, falling, swinging, and a bit of cursing. Okay, a lot of cursing.
"Silitha's lair must lie beyond that sticky barrier, let's finish this!" the Watcher said as we neared the final door.
"Whaddya mean by 'let's'? Big Red's the one who's been doin all the fightin. You've just been hidin in his gauntlet thingy."
"And what have you been doing?" he asked, poking me in the chest as if to emphasize his point. Whatever point that may have been.
"I've been tryin ta help, thank ya very much. Now piss off and go back inta your little hidey hole." I answered, slapping his hand away and pushing him off. "And don't touch me."
He returned to his place in War's gauntlet with a glare. I returned his glare with a smile. How great it is to have a mouth.
"I really don't like him." I told the Rider.
"Neither do I." Was his response which I had to laugh at.
Without another word, which wasn't anything new, he opened the door to Silitha, the last of the Chosen.
The circular room beyond was almost completely empty except for little egg clusters against the walls and a few gurneys and wheelchairs.
I stayed at the door while War went on ahead.
Well where is she? Don't tell me she ducked out on us.
"You honor me with your presence, Horseman. There are so many stories about you."
What the… Where the Hells is she? Cause we all know that's the Ick Queen talking.
"You have killed three of the Chosen. Taken their Hearts. Disturbing…"
That's when we saw climbing down behind War. All I could think was: Holy shit… someone let me out. Pretty sure he saw her too but he didn't seem to be as freaked out as I was. Then again, he is a Horseman of the Apocalypse. Giant fugly spiders are probably part of his daily life.
"Is that why you have come?" she continued. "To slay the final Tower Guardian? To take my Heart?
No, we came ta join ya fer tea and crumpets. When in panic, resort to sarcasm. Also, what is a crumpet?
She came the rest of the way down and started walking around Big Red, "Did Samael tell you how we came to bear his tainted blood? Why his accursed power beats within our breast?"
No, he told us ta ask no questions on that matter.
"It is not the Tower that the Chosen protect, Horseman. Our charge, is to prevent Samael's return at any cost."
But why? Because if he comes back he'll challenge your master?
"You may kill me and return to Samael with my Heart. But in him, you will face a threat greater than all the Chosen combined."
That's lovely sweetie. Now, ya said he can kill ya and take your Heart?
War pulled Chaoseater off his back and stabbed it into the ground beside him. I just noticed that it's taller than he is. Wow. "I did not come for your counsel, spider. Or your stories."
Whoo! Tell that bitch off!
"My children will dance to the music of your screams." She hissed at him, spraying green spider spit everywhere.
Uh-oh. Somethin tells me that didn't make her too happy.
"Now you see me…" the Ick Queen said as Big Red ran closer. Then she disappeared. And reappeared right on top of him.
"Above ya!"
He dodged out of the way just before she smashed down. Honestly, I don't think my warning actually mattered. Kinda hard to miss a giant spider hanging above you.
"Ah! Hold still, little one."
"She's toying with you Horseman… finish her!" the Watcher joined in.
She did her magic trick again and managed to hit him this time. All of us shouting at him probably isn't helping too much.
"Ah! You are a fool to trust Samael." She told him. Now that I think about it, she's probably right. But since Big Red's already in this fight might as well go ahead and finish it.
Her disappearing act is already routine by now, "Don't struggle, it will be over soon."
Just as she was about to disappear - you could tell she was by the way she reared up - War slashed at her and caused her to flinch. Yay! Except she still vanished but appeared on the ceiling next then back on the floor where she clawed the Rider a few times before vanishing again and reappearing back on the ceiling.
"She mocks you Horseman, climb up there and show her what's what." Was the Watcher's useless advice. How exactly was he supposed to "climb up there"?
She kept up the magic act, going between the floor and the ceiling and sometimes in between.
"You'll never take my Heart!"
But ya already said he could…
Dirty, lying, disgusting, Spider Bitch of an Ick Queen went to the very middle of the ceiling and started spinning around and made grapple spots come down from… somewhere. I'd given up on logic long ago.
The Horseman used these spots to pull himself up to where he could get to the Ick Queen and punch her in her uber gross mouth, then in the stomach - or the giant spider equivalent of a stomach - a couple of times. This dislodged her from the ceiling and they crashed through the floor and the next and onto some spikes way down below.
I jumped down myself and made it just in time to see Big Red tear her chest open and rip out her Heart. And that was that. He'd gotten the final Heart.
"Samael will be waiting for the last Heart. You think he's going to let you live long enough to collect on your end?" the sprite asked.
"Well we got no choice but ta trust 'im if ya wanna get ta that Destroyer fucker. Besides, it seems Sammy's none too fond o' 'im either so I doubt he'll be too mad if ya kill 'im."
So we made our way out of there through another web door and onto another cliff back out in the Ashlands. Across it we could summon our mounts and ride the Hells out of there.
"Aw Mayhem, didja miss me?" I asked, petting his rough head. He licked my face and I took that as a yes.
We made it back to Vulgrim who complained that he actually liked Silitha. Heaven and Hell knows why. After he let us into his Serpent Holes, we were back on our way to the Prison.
No more spiders! No more webs! I'm so happy I could cry! Just a little disappointed that I didn't get a chance to burn that place to the ground. Also, why are they called Serpent Holes? Were they made by serpents? They must have been pretty big. Just some food for thought.
Almost in tears,
Hope
