{Chapter 12}

Trust me

I didn't forget you
-

He's the one for her…

"Sora, give her time to recover!"
"No! Erase her memories from what happened!"
"I can't! She's fighting too hard!"
"Hello? It's just a little girl, just DO IT!"
"Sora, there could happen two things if I would do it now! One, she would forget EVERYTHING, including herself and you and all the memories will get lost. Two, she could die. So, your choice"
What the heck where they talking about? It didn't sound so well…
"Sora, stop discussing! Listen to Naminé! You'll do more bad than good for her! Just wait until she awakes, then you'll see how worse it is" A very familiar voice said softly. The cool hands which caught me were still holding me.
"It isn't worse for you, you jackass!"
The familiar voice sighed. "I don't want her to be this way, Sora. I only want her to be happy, however I would prefer it that she remembers m-"
"Shht!" Naminé interrupted. "She's awaking"
"Leave her alone" Sora said with a cold tone to the familiar voice.
The familiar voice hissed in return. "If you keep your hands off her"
I opened my eyes, but as soon as I began moving, the cool hands disappeared, including the familiar voice.
I looked straight up in Sora's eyes. They were angry. Great. What did I do this time?
Then it all came back to me.
That Naminé and Sora had made me forget my boyfriend, Sora had been five years away instead of one, I was apparently strong enough to struggle against Naminé's powers…
My forgotten boy… my forgotten boyfriend.
So why would Sora be mad at me for? I had all the rights in the world to be mad at him. Which I was, actually.
I stared back at him, anger raising in my chest.
"Sora. I never imagined that I would actually put an end to your life, but today might be that day"
Sora sighed. "Naminé?"
I turned my angry glare at the girl beside him. The girl had blonde hair and light blue eyes. She wore a simple, white dress and white sandals.
I shook my head at her. "I will remember him. Don't you worry, I'll find out"
With those words, I stood up and turned on my heels before walking off.
-

"Kairi!" Sora ran behind me. "Please, let me explain!"
"You were planning on killing my boyfriend!" I shout in his face. "So why would I listen to you?"
Sora shook his head. "He wasn't your boyfriend, Kai"
My eyes narrowed. "Too bad for you I heard you planning on telling me something different than the truth"
Sora sighed. "I would be a idiot if I did, Kairi, you know that too"
I snorted, but listened. Maybe I would have another flashback, who knew?
Sora sighed again, relieved that I was going to listen. "Kairi, you guys never made it official, but that wouldn't be a good thing, because- "
"Because then it would be impossible for you to get me back" I shot back at him.
His eyes narrowed. "No, because he didn't felt the same thing for you"
Okay, that hurt. I frowned, looked down at the street and tried to shift through my flashbacks.
The last one I had, he had definitely said that he loved me. You didn't say those things to please another, did you?
"I don't believe you"
"Kairi, he didn't have a heart. He couldn't love you, even if he wanted to"
Sora's hand took mine. "Kairi, please stay with me. I don't believe he survived the King's anger for killing Riku anyway"
Suddendly I felt light in my head. "You mean he's… gone?"
Sora eyed me suspiciously. "Yeah, that's what I mean"
"Oh"
Something was wrong. I couldn't discuss with Sora anymore, like it didn't matter. Like my forgotten boy didn't matter.
Did it matter? What was going on? It was like I couldn't think straightly anymore. What was probably going on…
But my forgotten boy had been close! He hadn't forgotten about me! He caught me when I fell this afternoon and this evening! So Sora lied to me when he said he was gone!
But it didn't matter. I had Sora and-
Naminé.
Naminé was working on fixing my memory. Or faking it, to be exactly.
"STOP IT!" I yelled. I found myself in Sora's arms, but I quickly jumped out of those.
"NAMINÉ'S TRYING TO MAKE ME FORGET, AIN'T SHE?"
"Kairi-"
"DON'T KAIRI ME! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
And with that, I walked off, this time for real.
-

I didn't forget you

I sat on the beach, watching the waves crash on the shore. It felt like I had done this so many times before.
Some kids were fighting each other with wooden swords. Why did those guys feel so familiar? Like I had watched them grow up? Watched them play, go to school and now this?
-

I shook my head. I couldn't remember anything.
Naminé had said there was no way I could remember his name, and said she had erased memories!
That meant I could never get those back. I could never remember him…
And that meant I had to stick with Sora.
I sighed. Yup. I had to stick with the one who had made me forget about my boyfriend.
I didn't care about the fact he maybe didn't love me. I believed he did. He had kissed me after all, however I couldn't remember the place where, the reason why I was there, the reason why I thought I was going to forget him…
I had known I could forget him. And still… Naminé's powers would be immensely strong then.
But then my eye fell on one of my fingers. I wore a white ring.
Where did that come from?
White ring… black ring… white ring… black ring…
A light within the darkness…
-

I was at the beach again, with my forgotten boy. We were silent, we didn't speak at all.
His thumb was drawing circles on my hand and it sent shivers through my body.
It would've been normal that I pulled my hand away, it was really hot today, but I couldn't let go. But he did, and pulled out his gloves. He looked almost annoyed with the heat. I bit back a chuckle. But then my eye fell on the rings around his fingers.
I saw that he looked at me. "M-may I?" I asked hesitantly. I wanted to touch those rings. Weird, strange and fascination. I never knew guys wore rings, but with him, my forgotten boy, it seemed normal. It seemed like it was a part of him. And since I was fascinated by him, I was fascinated by the rings too.
"Sure" he said, with a curious tone in his voice.
My fingers touched the rings. They were cold, like he always was. But his skin was warmer than the rings. But… black and white… did it mean something?
"Do they have a hidden meaning?" I asked him, since I really wanted to know.
His lips formed a smile. "Look at the colours" I had done that already, but I looked back at the rings again, just to look again. And the answer popped up in my head.
"Black and white… you mean the light and the darkness?"
"Something like that"
He then took the white ring off his finger and took my hand. His fingers shove the ring on my finger. Hey, that was his! I opened my mouth to protest, but his cool finger placed itself on my lips.
"Just to keep you think there'll always be a light, even in the darkness"
I stared at him. His blue eyes seemed to melt and I melted too under his gaze.
He smiled at me. "And to keep you think of me"
I smiled back at him. "Of course"

I clutched my head and moaned in horror. The headache was back, and I had disappointed the boy I used to love before Sora and Naminé were fiddling with my memories.
'And to keep you think of me'.
Well… I didn't really break the 'promise', because I thought about him all the time.
My fingers stroke the ring, and as if that was the medicine against that stupid headache, it disappeared.
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed again.
"I'm sorry I forgot… but I'll remember… because…"
I closed my eyes. "Because I won't disappoint you anymore. Because I love you, however I don't know exactly who I love, but I do anyway. And because you didn't forget me"
-

But the flashbacks had stopped. Nothing else happened since the last one of the rings.
I decided to go home when the sun had sunk behind the horizon. Sora was there already, but I ignored him and made my way upstairs.
I realized I shared a bed with him, so I decided to sleep on the couch for once.
"Sora, get off the couch" I told him when I got downstairs again.
He looked up, surprised. "Do we have a guest?"
"No"
He frowned in confusion. "Then why do I have to get up?"
"Because I'm going to bed"
He was even more confused now. "Um… our bed is upstairs…"
I rolled with my eyes. "Nah. Your bed is upstairs and that means I have to sleep on the couch"
It took him a minute, but he finally knew what I meant. He considered options, but gave in and sighed. "Kairi, I know what I did was wrong, but-"
"Get off the couch. I'm tired"
He got up and he embraced me tightly. "Kairi, I love you. Just so you know"
And then he was gone and he shut the door.
-

The next day on the beach was terrifying. I suddendly realized where I knew those kids from. From the five years of waiting.
I realized as well that I had been here every day those five years.
Five years… nothing special had happened, Naminé said. But after those five years… my forgotten boy came and turned my whole world upside down.
Then why was it so hard to remember him?
Tears filled my eyes. I had to face it. I would never remember him.
-

I was crying. Sobs slid through my clenched teeth. My eyes must be red and puffy.
I was mourning, because I would never remember the one I loved.
But when the sun was shining right above the ocean, I had stopped crying. I would go on when I had gained some tears. I had spilled them all. But the one I loved, the one I forgot, deserved more tears. So all I had to do was wait until I had more to cry.
I heard the sand crunching. Somebody was coming.
If it was Sora, I would hit him in his face. Because he made me forget the one I really cared about and replaced him by himself.
The footsteps stopped right after me. I closed my eyes, waiting for Sora's voice to interrupt the silence and the peace of the beach.
But the strangest feeling of all was that when that person came closer, it seemed that Sora faded away more and more. He wasn't worth worrying about anymore.
There they came, the tears. The knowledge that I had forgotten the one that I had to worry about, hurt me so much I couldn't bear. So I went on with mourning again.
-

"Hey"
I kept my eyes closed, but… but there was something wrong with that voice. It wasn't Sora's voice, it was softer, lower, more serious and… still… like Sora's. It was the familiar voice.
My forgotten boy…
That was the only reason I looked behind me.
"Hey" I responded, almost automatic. It was a boy, probably from my age. He was a bit taller than me, he wore a black coat and he didn't wore the hood of the coat, with two sun-blonde strands falling aside his face, bright, shining blue eyes, like melting ice and…-
ROXAS!
"Roxas!"
Everything came back in once, all that I had forgotten, it came back in one piece. It was like I had never forget him. This was Roxas, the only one who made sense in this mess Naminé had created. The only one who made sense at all for me.
I got up and ran as fast as I could toward him. I nearly tackled him when I hugged him.
Tears of happiness filled my eyes and I kept repeating his name over and over and over again. Because I finally remembered. It took me long, but I did it. I remembered. He buried his face in my neck and his hand tangled itself in my hair, while pulling me closer.
"Oh, God… I missed you so much" He murmured in my neck.
And everything was all right again.
-

We watched the sunset. I sat in his lap, his arms wrapped around me and his hood off.
I rested my head against his chest. "So, what kind of mission is this?"
Roxas chuckled. "Almost everybody is dead, except me, Axel and Luxord. So there won't be any 'missions' anymore, sorry"
"How come they're all dead?" I wondered.
Roxas shrugged. "Sora killed them all in his search for you"
The anger in his voice, which was usually there when he spoke about Sora, was gone.
I realized there was a lot more of changes I had no idea of.
"You're not mad at Sora?" I asked him, curiosity burning in my voice.
"I put it beside me. I'm living my life and he's living his life. The only thing that connects us… is you. And when you obviously choose for me, how can I be mad at him? And I think… because I knew you forgot me, that I lost you while losing to him, so that it was all my fault. I think I blamed it all on me, everything I had done. But that didn't mean I could leave you here... alone with him"
I looked up at him, into the melting rivers. "You were here… when I fell the first time… and at Naminé's, right?"
A blush appeared on his face. "I… um… kinda stalked you… the whole time" He scratched the back of his head. "Sorry"
I shook my head. "No, don't be. I have to be sorry… for not remembering you"
Roxas stroke my cheek with his hand. "You're actually the only one who managed to fight against Naminé and actually win… so I think I owe you a drink now"
I laughed. "Thanks, but I'm not thirsty"
There were a lot of things I wanted to know, but the sun was gone and the shadows raised over the beach. I wasn't scared. Not with Roxas with me.
-

"Roxas?"
"Hm?"
"Why did you come back while you knew that I didn't remember you? I mean, if I were you and you were me, I would be…" I swallowed. "Really hurt by the fact you wouldn't remember me"
Roxas' eyes swept over my face before he answered. "Well… Like I said… I lost from Sora… so the consequences were that I would lose you, and you would lose your memories. And by accident, Sora lost Riku. So Riku lost his life. Everyone of us lost something in that battle"
He looked down. "And the reason why I lost was because I couldn't control the emotions"
"Why not?" I wondered. "When you were around me, you could control them really well"
He looked up and smiled. "Because I was around you, yes. But don't you remember what I said to you before I went to fight?"
I nodded, glad I could remember. That I could remember everything. Everything he said, every touch, every smile…
"Yeah, you said that you had other feelings around me than around Sora"
Roxas ran his hand through my hair. "Yeah… but I forgot to tell you that the feelings I felt for you made the angry ones less important. You were more important… but while fighting Sora… I lost all control of myself and I had to remember you every now and then to help me win… but when I stabbed Riku… I lost it all again"
My arms wounded around his shoulders and I buried my face in his neck. "What did you do when you lost"
I could feel him laugh. "Heh, I fled. It's very embarrassing, but I had to, because if I let Sora finish me off, I couldn't come back to you, while I promised. Instead of burying myself under a rock or something, I followed Sora. When he came back to you, you just stared at him. Sora tried to help you up, but you hissed at him and staggered back. He then called Naminé and she put you to sleep. It was heartbreaking to watch you while I knew you were forgetting me. But it was on the other side really funny to watch, because Naminé was scared of you"
I frowned. "Scared of me?"
"Yeah… do you know how she makes people forget things?"
I thought about it. I couldn't bring that up. I didn't even remember what happened when Sora returned. Only that I was so sad when he came back instead of Roxas…
I shook my head.
"She draws pictures and put them away in a box. Those pictures are the memories she takes away… but if she burns them, or erase everything with her eraser, you'll lose them forever… but Naminé told Axel once that there is always a link to the 'erased memories'.
That's most of the time a person, or an object… if you remember that one, you'll regain almost every memory. But Sora and Naminé… neither of them knew… I was a strong link to you… you kept remembering me all the time, so Naminé had to start over every time you remembered me again.
So she ended up replacing me by Sora… and that worked… a bit.
But every time you remembered, Naminé nearly freaked out… she almost yanked her hair out"
I couldn't help but chuckle. I could imagine that… Naminé yanking her hair out.
Roxas stroke my hair absently. "But when Sora took you back to the Islands, I still followed you. I couldn't let you go… I decided it would do nobody any wrong if I just… followed your… well, your every move, to be exactly.
Sora had no idea at first. He was still pissed off because I had killed his best friend.
I was pissed off because he touched you in ways I would never, never ever allow him to touch you if you could remember me. And you… you were confused at first. When you realized you forgot something, you started to look for it everywhere… I can still see you walking around the beach, rubbing your forehead and see you hit your head against the wall at night. After that period, you had a lot of nightmares and it was Sora's turn to yank his hair out. I think I lost a lot of hair too those periods…"
I looked up at him and he smiled at me, while placing his cool lips on my forehead.
"But after a while, you were alright again and life went on. Sora was happy because you stopped confronting him with me and I was sad because I thought Naminé had succeeded erasing me fully from your heart. But then you surprised us both by asking for me while you were with Sora. Sora thought it was me why you began remembering, because he found out I was on the Islands too… but I was there all along. I realized you had been thinking about… well… the one you forgot, me, all the time…
Well, so I never had regret of following you everywhere"
We watched the moon. I sighed. "What now?"
He looked at me, but said nothing.
I looked back, back into the rivers I had missed. "If Sora finds out you're here with me and that I remembered you, he's freaking out"
An edge of Roxas' lip turned up in a half-smile. "I'm not staying here… I think"
His expression turned immediately wary and he didn't look away.
I suddendly realized where he was talking about and why he turned wary.
"No!" I gasped and held him for dear life. "Don't go, please, don't leave me here, please" I became panicked, and Roxas tried to calm me down.
"Shht, shht, it's all right, it's all right, I'm not leaving now, shht, I'm not leaving you"
He tightened his grip on me and tucked my head under his chin.
"But you-you s-said you were l-"
His cool finger on my lips silenced me. "I said I thought I was not staying… but if I leave, I'm not going without you"
I stared at him and he stared back. I smiled a bit. "I'll be always with you, wherever you go"
He smiled back. "Glued to your side" He saluted and I chuckled.
I stood up, reluctantly and he stood up as well.
Neither of us said something about it, because we both knew what was coming.
Roxas took my face in his hands and kissed me. I kissed him back, but this time it missed the desperate touch it had when he had kissed me for the first time.
When we let go, Roxas smiled at me. "You mind if I become the obsessed stalker again?"
I grinned back at him. "Not at all"
If I knew that Roxas was around, Sora was nothing more than part of the house instead of a gigantic pile of troubles.
-

End note:

Allers3: Thanks ^^ It wasn't my intention to make a cliffhanger at the end… but when you said it was, I quickly read it over and you were right… sorry :P

I actually made a change of plans… it was my intention to give Roxas finally the happy ending he deserves to let him win from Sora and kill both Sora and Riku… but… yeah… it didn't feel right. So this is how it works out…
At least, this far xD Maybe Roxas will lose Kairi again next chapter… it all depends on what happens in my head… tomorrow :P

But my original plans are to finish this story next chapter ;)

I hope I can finish this before I will be off to Spain :D HOLIDAYS!