Disclaimer: This is fanfiction, guys. If I owned this, would I be posting on a fan website? Hmmm… I think not.

Well, I suppose my little rant last update was for naught. The people in charge of have decided to outlaw review responses. That being said… I've spent this entire fic, pretty much, giving every review some sort of acknowledgement or thanks for finding the time to both read and review my story and I don't particularly want to stop. I will simply have to tune it down to a group response and answer reviews that ask important questions that I think definitely need replies.

This really stinks…

Anywho… Big Thankies to SweetMisery430, Rowana Farin, The Zelda Master, and StrawberryEggs.

I'd also like to apologize for the lateness of this fanfiction. This is the last humorous for the sake of humor chapter before entering the home stretch in the next chapter. Now, I say home stretch, but it'll probably still take 6 or 7 more chapters before I finish.

Chapter 12

The next day, when they arrived at Dirk's house, there was a surprising amount of laughter emanating from the building. And the laughter did not sound like Dirk at all.

In fact, it sounded like a girl.

Kratos, as wary as he had been after the way the others had acted in Meltokio, still managed to be completely unprepared for what happened next. A green and white haired girl with bright green eyes zipped out of the house and tackled him to the ground.

"Apparently," Yuan remarked casually, "the theory the Protozoans don't have gender till they evolve into humans, is true."

Kratos pushed the girl off him rather forcefully. Sitting up, he eyed the girl uncertainly. "Noishe?"

"Uh-huh!" she chirped, bobbing her head and grinning.

"Had to see it for myself, eh?" Kratos stood up, his expression unamused.

"Kratos! Kratos!" she hopped up and started bouncing, latching onto the man's arm. "It's sooooo good to see you. I'm sooooo glad that you've come to visit me!" Noishe babbled, dragging Kratos towards the open door. "I've got sooooo much to tell you!"

A truly poisonous look was shot in the direction of his companions as Kratos disappeared into the house.

"Well, well," Yuan said absently, a smirk lighting up his face, "I haven't been so entertained in at least a few hundred years."

"I agree. Kratos, however, is going to torture you slowly and then kill you," Isis moved towards the house. "He has a tendency to be somewhat… sadistic, remember?"

"Sadistic?" Ibis snickered softly, exchanging an amused glance with Ra. "I've never heard an understatement so… delicately put before."

Isis glared at the other man, who merely smiled and entered the house. Moments later, the rest of the group filed inside as well.

The scene inside of the house has to be seen to be truly believed, but perhaps this written explanation will do it a small amount of justice.

Noishe was in the kitchenette making food of some sort. Kratos was seated at the table, which he was slowly moving in the direction of the door, with an incredibly blank look on his face.

Dirk, of course, was also watching from his place at the forge.

"Noishe finally evolved and no one thought to tell me?" Kratos accused, his voice very calm. Too calm, in fact.

"I thought of it," Yuan proclaimed. "I just thought it would be funnier this way." The blue haired man continued to tempt fate after that statement and sat down across from Kratos at the table.

Never let it be said that the Renegade leader was completely sane.

Lloyd gave his father a sheepish grin. "I'm sorry; she hasn't pounced anyone in a long time. I thought she'd stopped for good. Besides, I didn't know how to explain that Noishe isn't a guy."

Kratos' gaze lost it severity and he nodded. Then he turned to Yuan and gave the man a glare to defeat all glares. It was the closest to a true weapon of death and destruction as a facial expression could get.

"What?" Yuan asked in a mock innocent tone.

Isis giggled and took a seat in the third and final chair, scooting it over to be next to Yuan. "He's going to murder you in the slowest and most painful way he can think of and never feel remorse, you know."

"No, he won't," Yuan smirked. "He owes me."

"Sure, you keep thinking that," Kratos growled. That was when Yuan shuddered.

"You do owe me, right?" Silence…

"What they're all failing to mention to ye," Dirk drawled, "is that the lassie has a wee crush on ye."

"She does?" was Lloyd's oblivious response.

"Ah, okay. Lloyd and Colette are too naive to notice it," the dwarf conceded.

"You could get Raine to ward Noishe off for you," Yuan offered, hoping that information on how to combat the perky Protozoan would work better than a white flag. "I believe that in one of the Professor's last classes before embarking on her quest to defeat prejudice, Noishe fell asleep and was traumatized for life in an incident involving erasers."

"Well, yes, but she deserved to have an eraser thrown at her," Raine defended, glancing somewhat warily in Kratos' direction. The burgundy-haired Seraphim had the look of someone plotting something devious.

"Raine, would you…"

"No."

"I haven't even finished asking you," Kratos pointed out, sounding entirely too in control of the situation. "Its only polite to hear me out and actually consider what I have to say."

"Are you calling me impolite?" Raine snapped.

"Of course not."

"Fine, ask your question."

"Would you simply remain near me so long as Noishe is around so that she won't bother me?"

"Well, I…"

"After all, in Triet I did make your 'fans' back off and I didn't even really know you at the time…"

"That's low, Kratos. Guilt tripping me into saying yes…"

"So you'll do it?"

"…Yes…"

Noishe, of course, had missed the entire exchange. She was too busy singing the song 'Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend' to herself.

Zelos decided that now would be a good time to leave the funny farm for a few minutes and, tapping his sister on the shoulder, he gestured for Seles to follow him as he exited the building.

/o/

"So, what did you want to leave them for?" Seles demanded as Zelos lead her around to a set of benches located at the back of the house near Anna's grave.

"Well, I've been promising you an explanation of what exactly occurred during the world regeneration and…" he shrugged and sat. "Now is as good a time as any, right?"

Seles' expression softened immediately and she sat next to her brother. "Yeah, now is a good time."

"Well…" Zelos took a deep breath and began his story. "Looking back at it now, I can see exactly where it was that I first really messed everything up, but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. Maybe it was, yet it was for the wrong reasons, and that can be worse than doing the wrong thing sometimes.

"Yuan showed up at our mansion one day and, after effectively proving that he was an angel, he offered me a position in Cruxis. The terms were that if my work in furthering the aims of the angels and the technology leading to the revival of Martel, I'd be released from my title and you'd get it instead. It was what both of us wanted and… I didn't want to look further into it. I didn't want to be responsible in the first place and I figured that I'd only be doing a few minor jobs, anyway. Instead I found myself visiting Dherris Kharlan on a regular basis, learning to control empathic abilities I'd never known I possessed, and helping several senior angels try to track down the Renegades."

Zelos paused and then pulled out his charred sketchbook. He flipped through it until he found a certain picture. "The two I worked with the most, at first, were these two: Mara and Jess Nefirim. They were married shortly before I started working there and never got an actual honeymoon 'cause no one was allowed time off from work. Well, except for me, but that was only because I had to be in Meltokio or Sybak most of the time so that people wouldn't notice that I was gone some of the time." A distant expression appeared on Zelos face and he quiet for a long moment.

"Every time I came back, however, they had more questions about the Renegades and Cruxis. Why was Renegade recruitment so much more successful than Cruxis'? Why were there three Seraphim if they were referred to as the 'Four Seraphim'? If Cruxis is meant to be helping the worlds than why hasn't prejudice been eliminated through religion yet?

"And then one day I came back they weren't there anymore. The official report was that they'd been sent on assignment and been killed by the Renegades. It took a while to hack thecomputer files, but I found out that they hadn't even been sent on assignment, much less been in the general vicinity of the Renegades.

"Lord Yggdrasill had ordered an execution and a cover-up that Lord Remiel had been all to glad to fulfill.

"I don't know what I'd have done next if I hadn't decided to review their latest evidence. I was pretty much in shock, but I knew better than to confront anyone in the state I was in. While it took a rather large leap in logic, I came to the conclusion that a high-ranking angel was either working for the Renegades or leading them."

"Yuan," Seles guessed. "Did you decide it was him?"

"Yep. I went to him demanding answers and he gave them to me. No hiding anything… and I asked to join his organization. Suddenly, the Chosen title didn't look so important in the face of the lies and deceptions that Cruxis was using to enslave the world. A year later, in a moment of serendipity, I literally ran into Colette in Meltokio and everything changed for me… again.

"I didn't realize that so much had changed, at first. I reported to Yuan where we were headed, the Fooji Mountains, and he laid a trap for us. I led everyone straight into it and for some weird reason, none of them suspected I'd done anything wrong. I think that was when I finally found the ability to genuinely have faith in people."

/o/ (A/N I think that the blanks of the above story/narrative can be filled in by observant readers and anyone who has played the game… which should be everyone.)

Inside the house was a less serious scene. Noishe was trying to convince everyone to play a game of truth. Her excited bouncing, ever so contagious, had passed on to Colette. Colette, being the adorably sweet being that she is, was able to secure several people in the game.

Isis had agreed immediately, giving Yuan, Kratos, Ra, and Ibis threatening looks that were largely ignored. None of those four would willingly participate in that game no matter the incentive. Lloyd agreed after Isis because of the puppy-dog expression on Colette's face. Similar emotional blackmail convinced everyone short of Raine and Dirk to join in after Lloyd caved. Raine was used to saying no to Colette, and Dirk was busy.

Zelos and Seles were, of course, outside conversing and therefore spared the insanity that ensued within. It did mean that they lost out on a great deal of blackmail material… but considering the way Wilders have used such material in the past, that might be a very good thing.

The first few questions were timid… tame… and all around boring questions. Then Lloyd got a turn. An evil smirk appeared on his face as he turned to Isis.

"So, Isis, what exactly is the 'El Pollo' incident I've been hearing about?"

Isis gained an evil smirk to match Lloyd, took a deep breath, and launched into the story.

/flashback/

"It's my birthday; it's my birthday!" Isis chanted loudly, hopping from stone to stone on the paved roadway.

"We're aware of that, Isis," Kratos snapped in annoyance. "I'm so glad you're proud of turning 1,000. Now shut up."

"Aw, come on, Kratos," Yuan said brightly, slinging an arm around Isis' shoulders. "Lighten up, won't you?"

"I think he has a point," Ra muttered, massaging the bridge of his nose. "You're giving me a headache, Isis."

Isis, ever the mature being, stuck her tongue out at the other two angels and then gave Yuan a peck on the cheek before skipping off again.

"Ahem…" Kratos and Ra exchanged smirks and then pinned Yuan with their looks.

The blue-haired angel gave them both a completely clueless gaze in return. "What?"

"Come on, let's catch up to Miss Birthday-Girl," Ra chuckled, breezing passed the elder Seraphim.

"What is it!" he insisted. Kratos walked off as Yuan stamped his foot childishly and again demanded an answer.

----

"Isis, I don't know if we should point this out to you, but people typically sing at Karioke bars…" Ra trailed off.

"Mmhmm. What's your point?"

"Isis… you couldn't carry a tune to save your life."

"I can too!"

"No, you can't."

"Can too."

"I agree with Ra," Kratos and Yuan chimed in.

"See, I have a second and a third opinion on my side," Ra exclaimed.

"So? I can hear myself sing and I've never hurt my own ears…"

"You've hurt everyone else's," Yuan retorted, obviously speaking from experience as he absently messaged his ears in memory of the last time Isis tried to sing.

"Have not."

"Have too!"

"Have not!"

"Have too…" Yuan took a deep, calming, breath and then shook his head. "I am not getting into one of your childish fights, Isis."

"Are too."

"Am… Isis, stop that!"

"Stop what?" an innocent expression lit up her face and every male in the bar that was not already acquainted with her became certain that butter would not melt in her mouth and that snow could not be more pure. Fortunately, Ra, Kratos, and Yuan knew better.

"All right, Yuan, I'll make a bet with you."

Ra decided that would be a good time to depart and left to get everyone's drinks before the same escape plan could occur to Kratos. The burgundy haired angel was left in his seat, watching the two nut cases… er… friends of his… make the most ludicrous bet he'd ever heard of.

They both had to sing a song and the one to get the least applause had to wear a chicken suit the following day. The only mercy allowed was that the loser had to wear the full suit, meaning that his or her face would be covered.

Kratos wondered, idly, if it were possible that they (referring to Isis and Yuan, of course) were somehow already drunk.

Despite the fact that, vocally, Yuan is a better singer than Isis… there were more men at the bar at the time and anyone can guess who won.

Suffice it to say that Yuan's ego never fully recovered from the 'El Pollo' nicknames that haunted him from that time forward… not that the pictures helped either.

/Flashback end/

"Wow," Colette giggled, cuddling against Lloyd on the couch. "That must have been fun. Maybe we should go to a Karioke bar one day."

"Um…" Lloyd tried desperately to say 'no'. Colette's cute-ness, however, made saying that word impossible for the brunette swordsman. "Maybe?"

"All right, my turn!" Isis crowed. "Sheena, do you love Zelos?"

"W-what!" the ninja practically squeaked.

"Do you love him?" Isis shrugged. "I see the looks you two give each other, but I've never been a good judge of this and, oddly enough, being psychic doesn't actually help me figure it out."

"Well… I, uh…"

The door opened and Seles walked inside; Zelos close behind. "Miss us?" they chirped as one.

By now, Sheena was beat red and Isis' evil smirk was still firmly in place from when she had begun her story earlier. Several people were giggling, quite a few were glaring, and Raine had fallen asleep with her head balanced on Kratos' shoulder… which said angel didn't seem to mind.

Zelos took in the scene and then settled his gaze on Noishe. "All right, Noishe. What embarrassing game do you have them playing now?"

"Truth isn't embarrassing…" the green and white haired girl protested.

Zelos grimaced and pulled the door open. "Anyone wishing to escape with their dignity intact can follow me back out the door."

Seles giggled and sat down on the floor between Yuan and Ibis. "I think I'll watch."

Colette sent a puppy-dog look in Seles' direction; her intention to make the redhead agree to play quite clear. With the blonde distracted, Zelos abandoned his sister to the game and backed up until he was outside. Sheena also took the distraction, because Isis was paying attention to Colette's arguments and helping convince Seles why it was such a good idea to play Truth, and followed Zelos outside.

"Phew, that was close," Sheena muttered, swiping a hand across her forehead.

"Why is that? Was someone about to ask you a question?" Zelos queried, causing his companion to blush.

"S-something along that line…"

"Poor Sheena-hunny, they were trying to embarrass you, weren't they?"

"Don't call me 'hunny'!" Sheena yelped angrily and then twitched as Isis' voice could be heard clearly proclaiming Sheena's disappearance.

"All right, all right." Zelos grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the bridge. "Isis will probably try and track you down to get her answer. I'll help you hide, mmkay?"

"I… sure." Sheena smiled and took off at a slow run, tightening her hand in Zelos' in order to make sure he didn't let go or fall behind. She didn't know the answer to the question just yet, but she had to admit, to herself anyway, there was something about Zelos that drew her in and thoroughly intrigued her.

/o/

Lethian stared at the valley, his eyes wide in surprise. It was beautiful, especially when compared to the rest of the Gaorrachia Forest. The only problem was that it should have appeared much, much worse.

The emanations of the Firelight Mirror were quite clearly the reason behind the mutation of the forest from a harmless place similar to the Torrent Forest or the Iselian Forest. It permeated the air making sentient and non-sentient creatures experience various degrees of anything from wariness to paranoia. The time spent soaking up that kind of output had radically altered most of the trees and beings that lived in the forest change in significant ways.

Monsters that wouldn't have been created by the Mirror in controlled circumstances populated the tangled undergrowth and no one knew what inhabited the upper branches of the twisted trees.

It was a miracle that the founders of the now-abandoned village had built it outside of the Mirror's reach. Though, in hindsight, Lethian figured that the village was only barely out of reach and anyone going for a walk in the woods could have been susceptible to the empathic output of the device. Whoever the missing people were, they must have been incredibly strong-willed.

The valley was beautiful, peaceful… enchanting. Lethian wasn't certain what kind of classification to give the emotions that permeated the air down there, but considering the abject fear that surrounded the rest of the Gaorrachia, it should look and feel like a death trap down there.

Lethian sat down, closed his eyes, and then sank into a meditative state. Gathering his awareness, he sent 'himself' down into the healthy looking trees below. For a moment, he basked in the peaceful energy that blanketed the area and then sent 'himself' further.

His mental self recoiled almost immediately and, as he mentally returned to his body, the intense reaction he had to what he'd 'read' tried to manifest physically. It was all Lethian could do to hold down the nauseous feeling in his gut.

The beautiful, calming, serene forest in the valley below was a death trap. The tree's had some kind of natural defense against the Firelight Mirror that kept them from mutating and gave the appearance of purity, but the denizens of that particular area…

Lethian had the distinct impression that those creatures would put demons to shame.

/o/

Zelos tugged Sheena into a clearing not too far away from the house. At some point during their 'escape,' he'd gotten ahead of her. Their hands, however, were still entwined despite the fact that they could've gone faster had they not been.

They came to a stop and, reluctantly, each released the other's hand.

"What was the question, anyway?" Zelos asked after he caught his breath.

"Nothing," she snapped back quickly, avoiding the redhead's laughing blue eyes.

"Sure it was. Whatever you say, my darling banshee." He ducked her punch. "I didn't say 'hunny!'"

"Ugh… that nickname is just as bad."

"Why is that?"

"You know perfectly well why it is!"

"Um… obviously, I don't."

"Banshees are always ugly, terrifying creatures in stories," Sheena muttered, looking rather self-conscious.

"They are? I always pictured them as something similar to Sirens… you know, pretty but not the singer/seducer type." Zelos grinned and shrugged. "Though Seles would probably argue the opposite of that 'seducer' part."

Sheena blushed again and, fixing Zelos with a surprised look, asked in a startled tone, "you think I'm pretty?"

"Gorgeous and sexy cover it better, but you did ask so don't hit me for saying so." Zelos let the statement hang for a moment and then gestured to the forest. "Lovely day to be outside, eh?"

"After all the complaining you did during the Regeneration journey, I thought you hated all this 'nature junk.'"

"Hey now, I can appreciate beauty even if I don't like the setting… or, in the case of the hunnies of Meltokio, the people. Besides, I don't like the nature junk that hurts in any way, shape, or form. Everything else is good."

"You really are strange, you know that?" Sheena laughed and sat down, impulsively reaching up to pull Zelos to the ground with her. He overbalanced and collapsed to the side in such a comical manner (his arms flailing wildly) that she covered her mouth with her free hand to stifle her giggles. "I claim that as my proof."

"Ow…" he sat up, rubbing his right shoulder, and stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, my arm's just still sore. It's no big deal…" Zelos' head shot up and he began to peer at the forest around them.

"What is it?"

"I dunno. I thought I heard something… but it might have been something else."

"Huh?"

"Shush. I'll explain later." Zelos stood and took a step to the right. The air seemed to pulse as he reached out psionically to test the area.

A presence shifted under the redhead's sudden scrutiny and then lashed out with power backed by a ferocious single-mindedness. Were Zelos fully trained, or simply fully aware of the extent of his abilities, the attack against him would've failed completely.

He was neither of those things, however, and he collapsed to his knees as pain ripped through his mind. Zelos still had enough awareness of his surroundings to howl Sheena's name as she was knocked into a tree by some invisible force and crumpled, unconscious, to the ground. A second mental attack caught him at that moment and Zelos blacked out, the horrible sight of Sheena laying as if in death following him into oblivion.

A/N I would like to apologize, again, for the lateness of this. I was going to post it at the beginning of winter break and then over-indulged in 'no-school laziness.' I'll have the next chapter up within a week, though I'm hoping to type it all up (maybe even edit/post) tomorrow.