A/N: I'm going on vacation later this week (hallelujah!), so I won't have access to the internet for about five days, beginning on Thursday; in fact, I won't even be taking the laptop - I'm taking a little technology break. So this will likely be the last update for a bit - I'm sorry for the delay that will happen, but trust me, the little mental break is definitely needed!
"Mer, he has a mother," Cristina's panicked voice rang out over the phone as Meredith shook her head and leaned back in the front passenger seat of Derek's rental, turning her head to watch the snow-covered landscape pass by as they slowly made their way to Maggie Shepherd's house.
"Most people have mothers," Meredith pointed out. "In fact, I think it would be pretty hard to find someone who doesn't."
"Yes, but we've been married seven months and she's never popped up before," Cristina argued. "I really think it's against the rules to spring a mother on me after seven months of marriage."
"Has he met your mother?" Meredith asked.
"That is completely different," Cristina argued.
"How?" Meredith asked. "At least he told his mother about you. Your mother doesn't even know that you got married, let alone that she's going to be a grandmother."
"But that's my mother," Cristina said. "It's for his own safety."
"Did he tell his mother about you, or did she just show up?" Meredith asked.
"I think she just showed up," Cristina said. "But I'm not fat yet, so he had to have told her about the kid."
"And what makes you think that one of these days your mother isn't going to just show up?" Meredith asked.
"That's different," Cristina repeated. "She's my mother. I know how to deal with her."
"Cristina, Rick's mother can't be that bad," Meredith said.
"She's his mother, Meredith," Cristina said. "She wants to get to know me, she says. I mean, what the hell? She's probably some smothering mama, just like Mama Burke was. I don't need that right now, Mer."
"You haven't even met her yet, have you?" Meredith asked incredulously. "You're really letting those hormones get the better of you, Cristina."
"Oh, shut up about the damn hormones," Cristina snapped. "This is a serious crisis, Meredith. How the hell am I supposed to handle a mother-in-law?"
"Just be yourself," Meredith said, pausing for a moment and shaking her head. "Wait, no, I take that back. Just be nice."
"You are so not funny," Cristina said in annoyance.
"I don't know, Derek found it amusing," Meredith smirked as Derek shook his head and laughed at the one-sided conversation he was trying to make sense of.
"Your husband has a the mental capacity of a walnut, Meredith," Cristina said. "It doesn't take much to amuse him."
"Do walnuts have mental capacities?" Meredith asked jokingly.
"Oh shut up," Cristina snapped. "The point is, what am I going to do about the mother? She's going to be a mama, I can tell already."
"In that case, just be at work as much as you can," Meredith advised. "Whenever she tries to talk to you, get a bout of morning sickness and if worse comes to worse, just remember, she's only there for two days…and no matter what, it can't be as bad as it would be if your mother were there too."
"God help me,' Cristina scoffed. "There's a reason my mother's never going to know about this kid. You really think the rest of that stuff will keep the new mama away from me?"
"It's worth a try," Meredith said, smiling as she glanced up and caught sight of Derek's childhood home at the end of the road. "But this is where I'm going to have to leave you, Cristina, because we're almost there…and unlike you, I'm not afraid to hang up the phone and go spend some quality time with my in-laws."
Meredith smiled softly to herself as she leaned back against the couch in Maggie's living room, wrapping her hands around her mug of tea as she took in the rare silence that had descended after Derek's sisters had taken their families and returned to their respective houses for the night. Although Meredith adored her sisters-in-law and the massive family she'd married into, she had to admit that sometimes, that many people all fighting for time with one another got more than a bit exhausting.
"This was always my favorite time of the day," Maggie commented as she settled into the overstuffed chair next to the couch, placing her own nearly-empty mug of tea on the coffee table and leaning back into the chair. "After everyone had gone to bed, just having a few minutes to relax without worrying about where anyone was or what they were doing."
"It is nice," Meredith agreed.
"Did Derek leave for the airport already?" Maggie asked.
"Yes," Meredith nodded. "Mark's flight was going to be early, so he figured he'd better get there soon. He said that you never know what sort of trouble Mark will find if you leave him on his own too long."
"Some things will never change," Maggie said with a little laugh. "So, it's been nearly two months. How's life as a married woman?"
"Good," Meredith said. "Different, but still…I don't know, not different at the same time. Sort of like it's new, but it's how it was always supposed to me. Does that make any sense?"
"It makes a lot of sense," Maggie assured her. "Now, I understand you and Derek had a visit from my nephew a few weeks ago?"
"Did Derek tell you that?" Meredith asked.
"My sister-in-law, actually," Maggie said. "You'll learn soon enough, secrets are easy to keep in small families, but there are very few secrets in big ones."
"So it seems," Meredith agreed.
"What was it you and Derek had Andy looking into?" Maggie asked. "If you don't mind me asking, of course."
"What makes you think it wasn't just a social visit?" Meredith asked.
"Big family, no secrets," Maggie reminded her. "Andy mentioned something to his sister about calling a favor for the two of you."
"Of course," Meredith nodded. "No, I guess I don't mind. Andy was just pulling a few details about my mother's past, that's all. I don't know a whole lot about it, so Derek asked him to look into it."
"And did he find anything?" Maggie asked curiously.
"Bits and pieces, mostly," Meredith said. "More questions than actual answers…I'm sure this all seems silly to you, seeing as I have this whole family now."
"There's nothing silly about wanting to know your own family," Maggie said. "Derek's only told me a little bit about your mother, but from what I gather, there's quite a void there. If I could fill that void for you, Meredith, I would, but sometimes there's just no substitute for knowing your biological family."
"It's not that you and Derek's sisters aren't wonderful…" Meredith began.
"It's okay, Meredith," Maggie assured her. "There's only so much that your in-laws can be for you; at some point, there's just a connection that you feel to the people who share blood with you. I understand that."
"You do?" Meredith asked in surprise.
"Don't forget, I married into this family too," Maggie pointed out. "The Shepherds are more my family now than my own family ever was, but there are still times…those moments when you watch your sisters-in-law and miss that connection with your own sister, or when you see your children with their aunts and uncles and wish that there was someone out there that you had that same relationship with."
"I guess I never thought about that," Meredith admitted. "I just always think of you as a Shepherd."
"And in most ways, I am," Maggie said. "Just like you are now."
"Oh, I don't…" Meredith protested feebly.
"You are," Maggie insisted. "But there will be moments, Meredith, there will be those times when you look around and you don't feel like a Shepherd, when you're right back to being a Grey. And in that way, you're a bit luckier than I was, because when you feel that way, you have your sisters to be your connection to who you were; and there is nothing wrong with that feeling, Meredith. No one expects you to integrate into our family overnight, and no one expects you to stop caring about your own past just because you've married into this massive family. There are still days when I feel more like a Malone than a Shepherd."
"Even now?" Meredith asked.
"Even now," Maggie agreed. "I didn't come from a big family, Meredith. My parents were both only children, and I only had one sister. There's no one left to tie me to that part of my history now, but there are times when I wish there was, days when it bothers me that I seem to have lost that part of who I was. If learning more about your mother's history will help you hold onto that, then by all means, you do what you need to do."
"What happened to your sister?" Meredith asked. "I don't think Derek ever mentioned another aunt."
"She wasn't really an aunt to my kids," Maggie said sadly. "She had a falling out with my parents when she was eighteen; she got pregnant and they cut her off because she refused to give the baby up for adoption. I think she was just as angry with me as she was with them – my parents had just purchased this big brownstone as a wedding present for Scott and I, and she seemed to think that we should let her and the baby move in with us."
"But you didn't," Meredith concluded.
"Maybe I should have, I don't know," Maggie sighed. "Lisa was always the baby of the family, and I guess I just thought she needed to learn a little responsibility for her actions."
"So what happened to her?" Meredith asked, pausing as she did so. "Shoot, Maggie, I'm sorry, I'm prying, aren't I? I shouldn't ask questions like that, it's rude, I know…"
"It's alright, Meredith," Maggie assured her. "You know, in all these years, no one's ever really asked me about Lisa. The kids all knew about her, sure; I even used to have some pictures up of us when we were younger, so everyone knows, and they know that Lisa and I were never close…but you're the first person in this family to ever ask why."
"I ask too many questions," Meredith admitted. "It gets me in trouble sometimes; you know, you ask questions and you learn things you never wanted to know."
"No, no, it's fine," Maggie said. "She had the baby; a little boy, I think. I never really got to meet him. She kept him, tried her best for a few months, but it was just too hard for her on her own, I suppose. In the end, she gave him up for adoption when he was about four months old. Things were never the same after that, not really…she never moved on, never got married, never had any other children. We'd exchange the occasional phone call or letter, but I think I saw her maybe five or six times after that, and they were very short, very awkward visits."
"Does she live in the area?" Meredith asked.
"She actually passed away about twenty years ago," Maggie said. "I always regretted that we never mended our fences before that happened."
"What about her son?" Meredith asked.
"She mentioned once that the couple who adopted him were from Massachusetts," Maggie said. "I'd like to think he's had a good life with them, but I really don't know."
"What if he showed up?" Meredith asked. "Just randomly, one day showed up on your doorstep? What would you do?"
"If my sister's son showed up?" Maggie asked as Meredith nodded in confirmation. "I suppose the first thing that I'd do is give him a hug, let him know that he was welcome here. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, it's nothing," Meredith said, shrugging slightly. "It's just…well, one of the things that Andy found for me is an address for my mother's older sister. I've never met her…from what I can gather, my mother hadn't even spoken to her since she was a teenager. Derek and I are going to Montana to see her right after New Year's, but I'm starting to think maybe it's a bad idea…I tried to just write a letter, but nothing sounds right; I've tried calling, but I pick up the phone and just freeze. I don't know how to do this."
"Meredith, I can't say how your aunt is going to react," Maggie admitted. "I can tell you that if it were me, if it were my nephew, I wouldn't care if it was a shock or if there was no phone call or letter to warn me. I'd just be so happy to see him, to finally have a chance to connect…I would be so thrilled, Meredith, and I really do think that if your aunt has a family, she'll be just as thrilled to add you to it. Trust me, by the time you get to my age, you don't have time to hold grudges anymore, and you truly regret the ones you did hold and the time you lost that you can't get back."
"I hope so," Meredith mused.
"And if she doesn't, she's a damn fool," Maggie said. "And then you'll leave that town with your head held high, and you'll come right back here to a family that loves you with everything we've got…and that, I can guarantee you."
