I was having a moment of depression, realizing I had no real outside life and the one person who I connected with, felt close to, lived in another state.

I felt at times having a romantic-like relationship with Edward was an unrealistic goal and that the chances of us following through with actually meeting were rare.

I thought about the fact Edward was lacking a stable, decent paying job and barely had enough money each month to pay his parents rent; wondering if he would even be able to afford to come down to visit me.

Also, if he did visit me and we got along well, I wondered if Edward would be able to visit me again the future.

Contact was an important aspect to making any relationship/friendship work, without it we had nothing.

Edward actually told me once that if we did have chemistry in personal when we did finally meet he wouldn't be opposed to moving down to Florida to make a relationship between us work.

It was a sweet gesture but again felt unrealistic. The cost of living in the state of Mississippi was lower than the national average. Florida definitely was not a cheap place to live. In fact, it was quite expensive. As well as the population change from Mississippi to Florida would be quite a culture shock for Edward.

The population in Mississippi was a little less than three million, for Florida it was about nineteen million.

The problem was Edward thought too much with his heart and I thought too much with my head.

I also wondered if Edward would even like the REAL me, inside and out once he saw all I had to offer. Even I admit I thought of Edward as being two different people.

Edward was charming, attractive, emotional and flirty online. However when it came to phone calls he was impassive; he showed no emotions over the phone except nervousness with his fast talks. When I looked at his picture I saw a young, naïve guy whereas online I pictured a man.

It was hard to put the two together, to accept that such a young, naïve, nervous guy could be confident and completely charming online and have an old soul inside.

I wanted to make sure Edward and I were on the same wave length, that he REALLY loved me, that I wasn't just some infatuation to him and that what he felt wasn't just puppy love.

I wanted to know there was potential for us, hope, before I actually gave my whole heart to him. I needed to know he was willingly to do whatever it took to make us work.


Bellbs123: Why do you love me?

Edboy92: I made a list, 100 reasons why.

I quickly cheered up at this. Yet still not sure if I could take him seriously or not.

Bellbs123: What, you did not?

Edboy92: Yeah, I did. I stayed up late that night I realized I loved you and wrote them down. You want to hear them?

Bellbs123: Sure.

I nervously waited, excited and somewhat scared for what I was going to see.

Edboy92: 1) I love your honesty. 2) I love that you care for your family as well as show affection towards mine. 3) I love that your old fashion. 4) I love that you're trying to get healthy...

I blushed and smiled reading text after text about how much Edward loved me. It was quite overwhelming.

By the time Edward got half way through his hands were killing him, from all the typing.

Edboy92: My hands are starting to hurt can I tell you the rest over the phone?

Bellbs123: Yeah.


I picked up my phone as soon as I heard the first ring knowing it was him calling.

"Why didn't I think of doing this before?" Edward questioned, referring to calling me from the start instead of trying to text me all one hundred reasons.

I giggled with glee, excited and anticipating hearing all one hundred reasons.

"I don't know." I replied giddy.

Edward cleared his throat nervously before continuing on with his list. I listened carefully to his voice shaking every now and then, the clearing of his throat after each reason given, the sound of crinkling from him handing the papers he wrote on.

Some of Edward's reasons were sweet other were just silly, making me snicker a little.

It wasn't long till he got to the big one hundred and the phone line filled up with silence. I wasn't quite sure how to response.

How do you reply to someone taking the time to make a list of reasons why they love you and to have so many details why?

"Hey Bell." Edward voiced after a minute or two of silence.

"Yeah?"

"I Love You."

I couldn't help it; I broke down as soon as I heard those words leave his mouth. I started to tear up and remained quiet not sure what to say.

"I got to go sleep, it's getting late but thank you, it means a lot." I answered with a shaky voice due to my silent cries.


I got ready for bed feeling stupid for getting so worked up and crying. I texted Edward back. I didn't want him to think I didn't care for him; it couldn't be further from the truth. I never cared for someone soo much.

Bellbs123: I'm sorry I couldn't say it back. I just don't believe one can love someone without actually meeting first. I got so emotional I starting to cry at the end and now, I'm fidgeting and tearing up again.

Edboy92: I wasn't expecting to hear it back. I didn't even know you were crying. Why?

Bellbs123: I don't know.

Edboy92: Do you see me as your boyfriend?

Bellbs123: I don't know. I mean, we aren't a couple technically but we are more than just friends. I don't know, I got issues.

Edboy92: No you don't.

Bellbs123: I got to go to bed, night.

Edboy92: Night baby, I love you. ;)


I wasn't used to showing my emotions, letting people in. I was used to shutting people out. It was a defense mechanism I used to keep my heart safe and sadly it wasn't working with Edward. He knew all too well how to get to my heart, and he did. He just didn't know it yet.


Note: Reviews wanted! ;)