The Inquisitor's Ghost

Author's Note: This chapter has a soundtrack: Where The Lonely Ones Roam (Piano Version) by Digital Daggers.

Chapter 12 – Treacherous

Though the lands suffer a thousand wrongs

The Maker yet notices the smallest of deeds

- Chanter

The Inquisitor woke in her bed in Skyhold before the first light of day, just as she always did. Ember scratched her head and yawned as she moved sluggishly to the water basin in the corner of her room. She splashed cool water on her face and chewed on a few mint leaves to freshen her breath.

The past week had gone by in a blur. Though the experience with Envy had dredged up memories she'd never wanted to remember again, it had allowed her to get past her fear and mistrust of Cole. It made her come to terms with the fact that Cole would never hurt her, never try to possess her, and she trusted him not to hurt the people at Skyhold. With that trust came a feeling of relief and submission that felt akin to a large boulder being lifted off her chest. She breathed better. One either fought against nature, or accepted it. For too long, Ember had fought against the connection she shared with Cole, one that she was now positive was not destructive, as she'd once believed.

Cole was now living at Skyhold and was officially back in her life. Cole hadn't left her side for more than a few hours since they fought Envy together. He ate lunch with her by the stables, played chess with her at night in the rookery, and they told each other everything that had happened in their lives in the five years they were apart. She told him about how she'd finally found Leliana and how she became an agent of the Left Hand of the Divine. He told her about Rhys and Evangeline, Wynne and Shale, and even Leliana and Lord Seeker Lambert. She couldn't deny the heated tightening of jealousy in her chest when Cole had called Evangeline the "pretty" templar and admitted to seeing that pretty templar naked. But the tightening loosened slightly when Cole told her how Rhys and Evangeline were now married and working with the Inquisition. Ember decided she would dig through the massive pile of reports on her desk to see if she could find out where they were.

Each day spent with him made her realize just how much she'd missed him. She felt like she had her best friend back. Self-appointed bodyguard, enforcer, protector, advisor, friend, Cole was everything for Ember. He made her feel bigger than she could possibly be, larger than life, on fire with possibilities, ecstatic to be breathing, impatient for the next moment with him.

She brought Cole on every mission and each time she fought back-to-back with him strengthened the bond she knew they shared. Knowing that every time she walked into a fight she had somebody watching her back that she trusted completely was one of the greatest feelings in the world. She could battle an Archdemon, grinning like an idiot, as long as Cole was beside her. As long as she could glance over at him and he'd give her that barely there smile that told her she wasn't alone - a smile she returned to ensure he knew he wasn't alone either.

Ember spit the mint leaves out and washed her mouth out with water. She stood and turned to find the necklace Cole had made for her resting on her spar pillow. She smiled at the sight of it, sighing with relief, before securing it around her neck where it belonged. She then removed her tights and loose tunic to wear her new armor that Josie had bought for her.

It was superior hunter armor with black leather boots that reached her knees, dark great bear hide pants, tight ring velvet cloth that covered her arms and wrapped around her torso, and a matching great bear hide cropped jacket. The ring velvet cloth matched the color of her eyes and brought out the deep red color of her hair.

Ember looked at herself in the mirror and frowned. She tried to run her fingers through her curls, but it was a lost cause. She might not be a raving beauty like Leliana or Josephine, but she did have many other good qualities. She was loyal once she was able to trust, dedicated, passionate, and would fight to the death for the few precious people in her life. Ties didn't come easily to her, but once formed they were as unbreakable as steel. She could offer the embodiment of compassion something he'd never had - a home within herself. With her, Cole would always belong. She would always remember him, always see him, and care for him. If only she could figure out a way to tell him that.

The Inquisitor walked out of her quarters and into the empty throne room, the rest of the keep still fast asleep. She yawned again as she walked outside, the cool, crisp morning air greeting her. She climbed the stone steps two at a time to the eastern wall. The sun hadn't risen yet, but it had grown light enough to paint everything outside blue-purple-gray. She turned a corner and then another, the light breeze ruffling her hair. As she approached their meeting spot, she found Cole already there, waiting for her, just like he did every morning.

In the weak morning light, Cole was pacing back and forth on the eastern wall. He looked supremely dangerous dressed in the new black armor that Leliana had got for him. He wore black boots and fingerless black gloves that were lined with fur, and tight black leather pants that hung low on his narrow hips that allowed him to move silent as death in battle. His torso and arms were covered with a form-fitting, long-sleeved tunic made of black wool that reached the tops of his thighs. Over the tunic he wore a black leather cuirass that adorned his chest, back, and shoulders. The leather cuirass was made up of small square obsidian armor plates connected to each other by chain armor and sewn to a black leather backing.

The moment Cole saw her, the tension in his face relaxed. There was a promise of a smile that hovered on pale lips just below blue, alien eyes. She was touched by the brightness of his eyes at the sight of her. In fact, he looked relieved, as if he feared she wouldn't show. It made her feel less alone and, at the same time, just as restless as he'd been only seconds before as he continued to stare at her, profoundly intense, as if the mere sight of her riveted him as much as she was frozen by the sight of him.

After a long pause, Cole tore his gaze from hers and hopped up onto the stone wall and reached beside him. He placed a warm sweet bun on a napkin on the stone wall beside him, one bite already taken out of it. The sight of Cole waiting for her with breakfast, licking a piece of icing from the corner of his mouth, filled her with an almost rabid sense of satisfaction. So much so her chest swelled with it.

The Inquisitor moved toward him and picked up the sweet bun and bit into it while hopping up onto the stone wall. They sat close on the eastern wall, feet dangling, nothing but the mountains in front of them set against a now light purple sky, enjoying the comfortable silence, inexplicable familiarity, and the confusing chemistry that bubbled in the air between them.

The birds sang their morning chorus as they began their daily search for food. The squirrels appeared to be enjoying pre-dawn play as they leaped from tree to tree. All the while, Ember ate her breakfast until nothing remained. Slowly, but surely, the sun began to rise. The glow on the horizon grew, centered around a point far in front of them—then cracked, casting red and orange across the dizzying breadth of the sky and snow covered mountains. Sunlight reached them, warming her to her bones. A shaft of sunlight streaked through her russet curls, turning them to fire.

Ember tilted, her head falling to lightly rest upon Cole's shoulder, and they both let out matched, minuscule sighs of relief at the contact. He was so warm and smelled like sweet buns, leather, and stroked fires.

Despite the calamity that was her life, there was a warm sense of comfort surrounding her now. In these moments, she knew that no matter what happened, Cole would see her through every second of her chaotic life, maybe even carrying her through it at times. He'd proven to her that she'd never feel completely hopeless and alone again, so long as he was in her life.

A dry wind blew down from the mountains, stirring his shaggy hair and whipping her long thick mane of curls around her, causing strands of gold and scarlet to mix and mingle in the breeze. Ember felt his head turn, his nose nuzzle the top of her head, then heard his deep intake of breath.

"Why do you do that?" she asked quietly.

"Do what?" he murmured against the top of her head.

"Breath my hair."

His soft, warm exhales buffeted her hair. "Years on minutes on months on years. Time stretching, ticking, devouring. But not enough of it can pass to make me forget the way your hair smells." The words escaped him on a wistful sigh. "It's my favorite smell."

Her lips curled into a tender smile. "Cole, I found my necklace on my pillow this morning…"

"It was the one I made for you." Her body warmed at his low, husky murmur so close to her ear.

"I thought I'd lost it."

"You did lose it. I had to fight a rat for it."

"Oh? Thank you. I was afraid I'd never see it again."

She felt his shoulder shrug beneath her cheek. "He wasn't a very big rat."

Once the sun's morning glow had gone from pale to red to orange to bright, harsh gold, Cole murmured, "He is waiting for you."

Ember lifted her fiery head from his shoulder and looked at him. "I don't want to speak to him. He's been lying to me."

Cole looked down to watch his finger trace a pattern on his knee. "You're lying too."

Ember stiffened, indignation lighting her aquamarine eyes. "I've lost my family because I'm a mage. I've been beaten, burned, branded on the back of my neck because of it. I've been hunted down like an animal, captured, locked away in a dark pit to rot, and almost raped because of it. I have reasons to keep what I am a secret, reasons I believe are justified."

Cole nodded, still not looking at her. "Secrets he has. Not of what he is, but of what he did. Probing and feeling, testing and searching, sensing his feelings. He is no harm to you. Redemption alone is his gold, guilt the stone he carries. The name breaks free, pulls the pain with it. A black wall to shield the self when the sky is rainier." He looked at her. "Speak with him."

She huffed in resignation. "Fine."

Cole nodded and whispered thank you.

She nudged him with her shoulder. "Garden first?"

The corner of his mouth lifted. "Race you there?"

She frowned. "That's not fair when you can just-"

With a swirl of black shadows, Cole disappeared.

Ember growled and hopped down off the wall to race after him.

The Inquisitor spent the next few hours with Cole in the herb garden, which was where he spent a great deal of his time. He said he liked herbs because they were healing plants. He said he liked growing them to find ways to help people feel better. There was also an evergreen cinnamon tree in the garden whose thin bark naturally curled into tight rolls that Cole had grown accustomed to taking and chewing on as cinnamon sticks. He didn't eat much and slept very little in the dilapidated little room connected to the attic of the Herald's Rest tavern, but he did like those cinnamon sticks.

After more pestering by Cole, the Inquisitor forced herself to visit the stables and the man located within that she'd had under lock and key.

"It's about bloody time you came to see me," Blackwall grumbled, his ire apparent. "Now let me out of here, Inquisitor."

"I don't trust you," she said, cutting straight to it. "You've been lying to me."

Blackwall paled. "Yeah. I have at that."

"Come clean." It wasn't a request. It was a command. "You have one chance."

He exhaled warily and rubbed his long black beard, not sure where to start. "There is nothing like a Grey Warden, is there? Honorable, courageous, noble and full of valor. And I am nothing like a Grey Warden."

Her eyes tightened. "Explain."

He did. He told her everything. For the rest of the day they talked, fought a bit, then talked again until they came to an understanding and ended up at the tavern in the back corner at a small little table, drinking pints of ale.

Blackwall finished off his pint and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Tell me honestly, are you what they say you are? Andraste's chosen?"

Ember took a sip of ale. "There's so little I remember. I honestly don't know. But what if… what if I'm not?"

Blackwall shrugged. "Does it even matter? Don't you see what you are to them? Without you, they'd be consumed with despair. We all would. The sky was torn open, demons everywhere. To ordinary folks this is the end times. The only hope they have is you. You're the sign that somebody might hear their prayers, that maybe they're not abandoned after all. The truth doesn't matter."

The Herald frowned into her pint. "This isn't about a greater message. We have an enemy. I just don't see how what people believe matters. Lies or not, Corypheus is a real physical threat. We can't match that with hope alone. This cause of ours is one that protects everyone. We have to stand together and do what is right. We will fight. And we will triumph."

Blackwall pointed at her. "See, that, right there is why we need you. Divinely touched or not, you're decisions let us heal the sky, your determination brought us out of Haven. You are the Elder One's rival because of what you did. And we know it. All of us." Blackwall placed his fist over his heart and lifted his pint in the other hand. "If my future is mine, then I pledge it to the Inquisition. My sword is yours." His lips curved. "And tell that ghost of yours thank you for believing in me."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Three days later and the Inquisitor called her companions to the training grounds located at Skyhold. Sparring each other strengthened them, especially when they fought another companion that was of a class they weren't used to facing one-on-one.

The sun shone high in the clear blue sky above them for the third day in a row. The temperature was much warmer than it had been in weeks, melting all of the snow that had covered the ground. After an hour of sparring one another, a large crowd had gathered at the training grounds, composing of Inquisition soldiers, Circle of Magi mages, refugees, and a few nobles. In a great circle of men and women, Bull and Cole sparred with one another, their blades clanging as they were cheered on by the crowd sitting on the green grass around them.

The Inquisitor, sitting on the ground at the very front of the crowd in between Sera and Varric, watched the match with rapt attention. She studied the movements of the sparring partners. Bull was much stronger and his swings contained devastating might, but Cole moved with inhuman grace and speed. Enemies often underestimated the unassuming rogue, a mistake they rarely lived to make twice. Cole's movements were executed with a refinement, agility, and skill that were nothing short of a master. Truly, it was beautiful to watch. He was beautiful to watch, and she found herself becoming slightly hypnotized by it.

Bull was nearly a foot taller and twice as broad, while Cole was long and slender. Cole's body was not one of brute strength like the Qunari, but of a powerful lean musculature that was all sharp edges and angles - the ideal body type for an assassin.

Bull feinted then rushed the rogue. Cole spun and then raised his blunted daggers to block a descending blow from Bull's blunted war axe and heat fused Ember's cheeks as Cole's armored cuirass lifted and she saw the tight stretch of his abdominal obliques as they veered down in a sharp V between his jutting hipbones.

"You see something you like, Inquisitor?"

The Inquisitor turned her head to find that Varric had been watching her watch Cole. Trying not to look embarrassed or make it seem like what it was - which was ogling the rogue - she smiled and said, "It's violence in its purest form, but it's hard not to see the beauty in it."

"Beauty in the fighting or in the fighters?" Varric questioned with a knowing grin.

"Kick Creepy's arse, you big grey tree!" Sera cheered into her cupped hands beside her.

Varric's gaze slid to the archer sitting on the other side of Ember. "Hey, Sera, how did you get an entire beehive into Cullen's training dummy?"

The archer shrugged, eyes not leaving the match. "I don't know. Can't remember."

Varric laughed. "Wait, do you think it was that magic Cole does? Like he helped you and then made you forget?"

Sera paled. "What? No! Piss, now it's in my head!" The blonde groaned in frustration. "Aghhh… why'd you say that? You ruined a good beehive! Arse!"

The crowd erupted in applause and the Inquisitor's attention returned to the fighters to find that the match was done.

"Inquisitor!" Bull bellowed over the crowd, out of breath. "Get your ass up here. I'm tired of fighting against a damn shadow."

"Fists and dulled daggers only," she stated as she stood in her new armor and moved toward him, limping from an injury she'd suffered during a mission two days ago.

Bull eyed her with a raised black eyebrow over his non-covered eye. "Are you sure you can handle me, boss? Limping the way you are?"

Her lips curved into a smirk. "I think the limp makes us even, Tiny."

The massive Qunari's laugh was explosive. "Damn, I knew there was a reason I liked you, boss!"

Her smirk deepened. "I thought you liked me because of the red hair?"

His eye raked her lustfully. "I want you in my bed because of your red hair."

The Inquisitor snorted at that and began circling around the gigantic Tal-Vashoth, feinting a couple of times. Bull struck out, missing as she evaded, then staggering as the Inquisitor jabbed at his knee with a kick before connecting with a flurry of blows. Bull lunged for her, jabbing his fist toward her face. Taking advantage of his momentum, the Inquisitor blocked the strike by bringing her left arm up and grabbing his wrist as she turned, pulling Bull's arm down to roll him over her hip and flip him to the ground. From there, with control of his wrist and Bull on his side, she jerked the arm back to brace it against her thigh. If she'd wanted to, she could have snapped it. Instead, she pinned him with her knee and feigned a palm thrust toward his face that would have sent Bull's nose straight to the back of his skull, causing serious damage, if it had been real.

"Hey, Kid! Over here!" Varric called with a wave of his hand, causing Cole to jump at the sound of his nickname and turn back to search for the dwarf beneath the brim of his wide hat instead of slipping into the shadows to watch the fight as he'd planned on doing.

Cole shuffled awkwardly on his feet for a second before heading toward the dwarf. The people he passed turned their heads slowly to regard him, frowns in place, sensing something, but unsure. Some sense of self-preservation that signaled him as unnatural and inhuman. They were afraid he'd kill them if they looked at him the wrong way. Cole tried to ignore them as he moved through the crowd to sit beside Varric, taking Ember's seat. The moment he sat cross-legged on the grass beside the dwarf, Sera made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat and immediately moved away from him. But the moment a spot became available beside Cole, Solas took it.

"How go your attempts to ease the pain of those here at Skyhold, Cole?" Solas asked curiously, watching Cole's expression beneath his hat carefully.

Cole's knees bounced up and down while he shrugged. "I made the scullery maid stop crying and one of the boys in the stables is happier. Some of the servants are angry. My help makes work for them. Do you want me to stop?"

Solas shook his head. "No. You exist to help others. You are kindness, compassion, caring. If you stop giving comfort, you would twist into something else, as you did before I suspect." Solas' eyes watched the young man's reaction very carefully.

Cole picked at the grass in front of him uneasily, his shoulders rigid and tense. "I will not be that again. Never again will I be a midnight sky that lost its starlight."

Sera stared at Cole as if he'd gone completely insane. "What the shite are you on about, Creepy?"

"Hey, ease up on the kid," Varric chastised and Sera rolled her eyes.

Cole's head turned toward the dwarf. "Tell me a story, Varric."

"Right now?" Varric ran a hand over his hair. "I don't think we have time, Kid. I think I'm up next."

"Maybe a very short story?"

"Fine. 'When the cards turned, he lost.' How's that?"

Cole frowned. "Did it have to be so sad?"

"How about this…" Varric answered with a wicked gleam in his amber eyes. "Leliana said the people of Skyhold have been whispering about the Inquisitor and a strange young man sitting on the eastern wall—around five in the morning. They also say the same strange young man has been seen circling the Inquisitor's tower at night. What's up with that?"

"I don't know." Cole reached out beside him to pluck a blade of grass and brought it to his lips, chewing on it thoughtfully. "She's… weightier than anyone I've known before."

Varric snorted. "Word of advice, Kid. Don't call the fiery redhead fat."

"No, not that," Cole murmured as he shook his head, blonde hair swaying in front of his eyes beneath his hat. "Her being has a substance that sticks to me, and I'm better for it."

Varric's smile turned soft. "I know, Kid."

Cole had given Varric a condensed description of the events of the past five years, trusting the dwarf's social perceptiveness more than his own. The young man sought the dwarf's counsel daily knowing that his understanding of humanity was like wearing a set of poorly-fitted clothing—but it was clear he trusted Varric to guide him. Varric felt the weight of that trust. He'd earned every ounce of it and bore it with pride, just as he bore the Inquisitor's.

"Is it just me or should the Inquisitor not be sparring a gigantic Qunari mercenary on a broken ankle?" Dorian asked merrily behind them and then laughed, the sound warm and lush. "I wouldn't, if it were me. Wouldn't want to deprive the world of this handsome face."

Cole turned around to face the magister. "Dorian, am I handsome?"

Dorian blinked at him. "Are you what?"

"You say you're handsome all the time. Am I? I can't tell."

Dorian looked the young man over with a critical eye. "Yes, I'd say so. Chiseled face, strong jaw, high cheekbones, blue eyes you could drown in. Although… you might want to rethink the hats." The mage said staring pointedly at the hat currently on top of Cole's head.

Cole sulked. "But I like my hats."

"Yeah, but she doesn't," Varric chimed in.

Cole touched his hat. "But it helps me hide from the many eyes that land on me and not see through me. I'm not used to it. It makes my skin crawl."

"Come on, Inky! Plug the arsehole already!" Sera cheered beside Solas and they all turned their attention back to the match.

The Inquisitor was all long, lean muscle, slender and strong, with little extra flesh to mar the graceful, feminine lines as she bent and spun away from her sparring partner, her long flowing curls catching the light of the sun, her blue-green eyes sharp with keen intelligence as she formed a plan of attack against the much bigger and stronger Qunari male.

"Watch," Cole whispered to Varric. "See her when you look at her. Few do."

Varric's blonde eyebrows drew together. "What do you mean?"

Cole's head tilted. "Devils live in her nightmares. They drive her to the training grounds every morning."

Bull threw a fist at the Inquisitor's chin, which she deftly blocked. The follow-up blow to her ribs, however, she did not, and it landed with a thud that had the crowd cringing. The Inquisitor recovered quickly and retaliated with a blow to Bull's exposed side. After a few more exchanges of fists, an elbow, and a knee, they were both bloody, bruised, and breathing heavily. Bull rushed her and the Inquisitor delivered a roundhouse kick to his ribs, but Bull caught her injured ankle in his giant hand and tossed her across the training ground like a rag doll. She hit the ground hard and skidded to a stop a few feet away.

Varric winced. "So, Cole, since you're so hell bent on helping people, why don't you step in and do something?"

Blue eyes never left the Inquisitor. "I promised I would protect her. She doesn't need protecting right now."

Varric rubbed his jaw. "I don't know. She's gettin' her ass handed to her."

Cole shifted uncomfortably on the grass. "My eyes hurt to see it. Blood that is hers should never be spilled. But she is strong. She says strength is built on pain, anger, blood, and bruises – layers of black on blue stacked on top of blue on black. Helpless, she can't be again. She needs this. I need what she needs."

Varric raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "So… you're just going to watch?"

Cole nodded once. "Yes. Never want to push her to be something she isn't. She wouldn't shine like she does now."

Varric scratched his cheek. "Shine?"

Icy blue eyes shifted to the dwarf, glittering beneath disheveled flaxen tresses. "You might see it like I do. The light treats her differently than it does others. It gathers around her, reaching out from within. Bright inside, as though she's swallowed a star. It shines through her eyes, glowing out her skin. It's brightest when… oh, you can't miss it now. Look. Look!"

Varric's head turned sharply to the side to find the Inquisitor expertly spinning the blunted dagger in her hand between her nimble fingers. Her other hand lifted, her thumb dragging across her split lip to wipe the blood away, a blazing wildfire burning across her eyes. Bull charged her with a battle cry, horns lowered, and she ran forward, leaping onto the wooden corner post and using it to leap up to the massive Qunari's height and scissored his head between her legs. She flipped the massive grey Qunari over onto his back with a heavy thud that shook the ground. Quick as a flash, Ember straddled him, wild scarlet curls everywhere, her dagger pressed against his jugular, granting her victory.

"Beautiful," Varric heard Cole whisper under his breath beside him almost in reverence.

The Inquisitor stood, and offered her hand to help Bull up. Once he was on his feet, Bull gave her back a hard smack, laughing.

The Inquisitor cringed, as she looked herself over. "Sweet Andraste, I'm bleeding all over the place. And I'm sweating like some sort of farm animal. Maker, I need a strong bath. I stink like a Qunari male who just hit puberty."

"I heard that," Bull grumbled beside her.

Varric snorted, his voice heavy with sarcasm, "Yeah, real beautiful, Kid."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two days later and the Inquisitor was dragging herself into her quarters, dead on her feet with exhaustion from training with Cullen. She was about to throw herself onto her bed and fall straight to sleep when, from the corner of her eye, in a burst of shadows a blurred form of a figure hurtled towards her with inhuman speed. She tensed, half raising her arms in defense, but stopped when she recognized Cole's face.

She eyed him suspiciously. "What is it, Cole? You look like you want to ask me something?"

He pursed his lips together . "I do."

"Okay," she answered slowly, curious yet apprehensive.

"I have a question." He rocked back and forth on his heels. He was grinning at her, appearing almost boyish, and he looked adorable. "But I don't think I'm supposed to ask it."

Intrigued, she raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue.

Cole reached into a pocket and pulled out… a terribly familiar book, one she'd begged Varric to finish for Cassandra as a gift. And then, to her horror, Cole held it out to her, and asked, "Does it work like this?"

Her heart dropped into her stomach and her gaze snapped from the lewd cover to Cole's face. "What?"

"This." He pointed to the book with his free hand. "Does it-?"

"How would I know?!" she burst out, her face burning with mortification. "I've never actually read it. And honestly, I don't want to know."

In that moment, Ember seriously thought she'd die of embarrassment. She could not believe she was actually having this conversation… with him of all people. But, then again, she should've known this was coming because just that morning she'd seen Cole, Varric, and Bull sitting under a tree at the training grounds with that smutty novel open in front of them.

Cole had been sitting in between the dwarf and the Qunari. Varric had been flipping through the dirty book to certain pages and then holding it out for Cole to see while pointing at certain images in the book. Bull had sat on the other side of Cole and had been gesturing animatedly with his hands, as if describing how to do something complicated, like build a masterwork greatsword. Cole had recoiled from the book as if it were a snake trying to bite him, his back connecting with the tree, his head immediately turning away. But Ember had seen how his eyes would occasionally stray back to the book, his ivory cheeks turning a bright pink.

Damn dwarf and that big grey tree!

While her thoughts were a chaotic jumble of discomfort, Cole continued to stare at her, his expression as smooth as fine porcelain. "You said I could ask you about anything. I want to know about this."

Her face was now the color of her hair. The awkwardness was unbearable and she was determined to end this horrible conversation. "I am the last person you should be asking about this. Honestly, if you've read this book, then you probably know more about… it than me."

His head tilted. "Why?"

Her eyes looked anywhere but at him. "Because I've never… umm… never done, ugh, that."

"Why not?"

She rubbed the back of her neck, flinching slightly when she touched the Chantry sunburst burned there. "Maker, Cole. Please stop asking me questions about this."

His eyes rounded. "But… but you said I could ask you about anything."

When she remained silent for nearly a minute, unable to form words, Cole's shoulders slumped a little, the corners of his mouth turning down in a dejected frown, and the sight of it wrapped around her heart and squeezed. She hated that look. It was like looking at a boy who'd found a stray puppy and she'd just refused to let him keep it. The Inquisitor sighed, her own shoulders slumping in resignation.

"Fine," she groaned, already regretting this, immensely. She took the smutty book from his hands. Frowning, she opened the book to a random page. Her nose wrinkled in disgust. She read some of it and her mouth twisted with disbelief. She flipped a few more pages, her brow knitting with a mix of horror and confusion as she tilted her head and stared down at a very dirty drawing. "This can't be real. This looks… looks… painful… and frightening and… and..."

Cole's frown deepened. "Does it work like this?"

"No," she answered quickly, almost positive that was the right answer. "Well, at least I don't think so."

"I want to know how it's supposed to work," he murmured, his fingers twitching at his sides, watching her expectantly.

Okay, it was officially time for him to leave. She could think of nothing she wanted more than to escape this horrible awkwardness. Perhaps she could find Solas and somehow convince him to wipe this conversation from her memory.

"Alright, that's enough." Ember snapped the book shut and shoved it into his hands. "Take your dirty book and go."

He took the book, but studied her face. "You're angry. Why?"

She shook her head. "I'm not angry. I'm… I'm embarrassed."

His eyes turned questioning. "Why?"

She sighed. "It's… difficult talking about this kind of stuff. Isn't it hard for you to talk about that kind of stuff with me?"

"No. It's easier because it's you." His head turned sharply to the side and his gaze became distant, as if he were listening to something she couldn't hear. "Solas wants to speak with you."

Before she could answer, he vanished into thin air.

A few minutes later, and Ember was walking into the atrium beneath the library.

"Inquisitor, thank you for visiting," Solas said formally with his hands behind his back. "I assume Cole told you of my need for your counsel?"

"He did. So…" She folded her arms and rested a hip on his desk. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Straight to the point as always, I see," the elf murmured before diving right in. "You have not been what I expected, Inquisitor. You have… impressed me. You honor the past and work to recover what was lost, even if the cost is high. I respect that. As such, I feel it is my responsibility to advice you about Cole and about… the path you are currently treading."

"Okayyy…" she replied awkwardly, apprehensively.

Solas turned and ran a hand along the surface of his desk, as if collecting his thoughts. "Spirits and demons are one in the same, Inquisitor. What makes them different is what interests them. Not all the denizens of the Fade identify with darker emotions like desire, rage, and pride. Some embody the nobler qualities found in humanity: faith, hope, valor, compassion, and justice."

The elf turned to face her. "Cole is a spirit of compassion given human form. When he crossed the Veil to help the real Cole he became confused, as most spirits and demons do when leaving the Fade. He took on the real Cole's physical form and pieces of the real Cole stuck - his fear and hatred of templars, his desperation to live, his memories, and so forth."

Solas began to pace. "Cole's purpose is to help and so he did, albeit in an immoral way, by killing mages that were either going to be killed by the templars or made Tranquil, which most equate with death. Still, the act of murder is not a benevolent act, even if done in the name of mercy. As a result, his purpose was altered, changing his nature to one that was more demonic than benevolent. Luckily something, or someone…" His eyes pointedly met hers. "…was able to guide him back to the path of his true nature."

Ember lowered her head, letting her heavy russet curls hide her face. "But then how is Cole able to stay in this world?"

Solas' eyes brightened, eager to engage in an intellectual conversation on a topic that interested him. "Ah, good question. To live outside the Fade, demons and spirits need a host, something to possess. Cole is unique in that he has possessed nothing and no one. He was somehow able to create his own human form. However, that means Cole must either form connections, or use something else, to remain in this world. It is my belief that Cole used blood in the dungeons of the White Spire as a way to remain connected to this world."

"How is that possible?"

Solas gave her a patronizing look. "Blood is life. Blood is power. There is a reason why mages turn to blood magic, Inquisitor."

She frowned at him. "But Cole doesn't kill anymore?"

The elf raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't he? You have enemies, Inquisitor. I myself have seen Cole destroy many such enemies." Solas' expression turned reflective. "But I think… I don't think blood would be enough anymore. I think there is something else that is being used to allow him to remain in this world."

Her gaze lifted to his face. "Like what?"

His eyes met hers and something she couldn't name lurked in their enigmatic depths. He cleared his throat and when he spoke, his voice was carefully devoid of any emotion. "You share a connection with Cole that is beyond my comprehension. It is unlike anything I've ever seen."

Ember looked away from him. She wouldn't deny it. She knew there was a connection between her and Cole that defied logic or explanation. A connection that went beyond skin-deep.

Her eyes slid back to his. "And you're concerned?"

"I will not lie to you, Inquisitor. I am deeply worried about this connection the two of you share."

"Why?"

"Because you are a mage," he replied, as if it were obvious.

Her heart stilled in her chest, panic rolling like a piece of ice down her back. "How do you know that?"

The mysterious elf gave her a look that said he'd known since the moment he met her, maybe even before, and that she should've expected it. "I know many things. But do not worry, Inquisitor, your secret is safe with me. In truth, I think it was wise of you to hide your true nature." His head tilted and he eyed her with interest. "I am fascinated though in this ability you've mastered that allows you to conceal your magic, even from other mages and templars. Intriguing, truly."

She frowned. She would not share Malcolm Hawke's secrets with anyone, so she ignored his comment. "So… you're concerned about our association because I'm a mage and Cole is a spirit?" At his nod, Ember waved her hand dismissively. "I was worried too, but I'm not anymore. Cole won't hurt me. He would never hurt me, or try to possess me. I swear my life on it."

Solas' head lowered, his eyes boring into hers. "I believe you. But it is not Cole's intentions that I'm concerned about, it is the unintentional results of the connection you share that troubles me."

Her brows furrowed. "I don't understand."

His eyes tightened in the corners. "You have heard about the apostate mage called Anders, have you not?"

Ember nodded. "He was the rebel mage who destroyed the Kirkwall Chantry, killing the Grand Cleric and several others, starting the mage-templar war."

"Yes. Anders was a companion of the Champion of Kirkwall, as well as the Warden-Commander at Vigil's Keep before that." Solas' expression turned somber. "Did you also know that the Warden-Commander had another companion in Amaranthine - a spirit of justice that was trapped outside the Fade?"

The Inquisitor felt a trickle of something that felt a lot like dread on the back of her neck. "No."

"Anders harbored a deep-sated hatred for the templars, and Justice seethed at the atrocities the templars committed on the mages. But to live outside the Fade, Justice needed a host. In an effort to work together and correct the injustices against mages, Anders took Justice into his soul. But Anders' anger it… changed Justice. He was no longer a benevolent spirit of justice, but rather a demon of vengeance. Being exposed to so much anger twisted Justice's purpose, altering his nature."

Ominous chills made her heart start to pound. "What are you trying to say, Solas?"

The elf sighed. "I just want you to be aware of the similarities between Anders and Justice, and yourself and Cole. I am concerned that if you and Cole continue with your… association, as you so called it, it could affect Cole's nature." Solas' eyes stared deep into hers. "Cole's nature has already been altered once due to the real Cole's fear and hatred of templars, as well as his desperation to live. Who's to say Cole's nature couldn't be altered again due to a connection he shares with you?"

If dread was a living thing, it was worming its way up into her throat while fear twisted her insides. Ember heard Solas' words. She understood his warning. She understood the muddied water she and Cole were traveling was dangerous. The path they trekked was reckless, a treacherous slope to something hazardous and unknown. But she didn't want to let it go. She wasn't even sure she could anymore, not when they'd been through so much together. The connection they shared may have started out as just thin pieces of thread hesitantly twisting together, but now it was a bond as strong as steel. How could something that felt so damned right be considered so damned wrong?

Her eyes flickered to lock onto his, resolve hardening them. "I know you mean well, Solas. But don't worry. I know what I'm doing."

His inscrutable expression faltered and the extent of his unease and trepidation was revealed. "I certainly hope so, Inquisitor. For all our sakes."

Author's Note: I wanted to give a shout out and lots of love to Repseh who created some fanart for this story. I put a link on my bio page. Thank you Repseh! You are so amazing!