Chapter 11

Peeta

Present Day

The music is humming softly throughout the marquee and the tent is a buzz with holiday cheer. Memorial Day weekend. The official start of the summer season. I have been to many memorial celebrations over the years but the Snow's annual party is something else.

Effie has gone all out. There are marching bands and street performers crawling through the grounds. Memorial wreaths and books where people can leave their sentiments. Enough food to feed the entire American army. We have already sat through 5 courses and still have another 2 to go. I hear the fireworks display is a 40 minute extravaganza.

It sure as hell beats the tiny parade we had in Seam.

Much to my delight I was asked to join the Snow's table. With Katniss's dad being a single they had an empty seat to fill at their table of 10. Since my arrival in Louisville I have been stuck to Cato's side like glue trying to butter him up, so I was the obvious choice to fill this gap. I'm surprised how easy it was to get Cato to like me. I know Marvel is a little jealous that I seem to be taking his role of best friend. I must be a better actor than I thought.

I have even had the luck to be sitting next to Katniss with her dad on my other side. Xavier has been banished to the kiddies table but I can see both Katniss and I keeping an eye on him and making sure he doesn't get into any trouble.

Although I get to be near her, she is wearing a dress that I can only describe as being a form of slow torture. It is the lowest cut dress I have ever seen her wear. The deep V of the neckline ends just above her naval leaving a lot of cleavage on show. My pants definitely felt tighter at the sight of her when she arrived. I want nothing more than to rip that dress off her and claim her as my own.

Things haven't been easy for us since we got together again. We've both changed; Katniss is even more guarded and can lie more easily while I have become more corporate. It is strange discovering these sides of each other and it took a while for us to accept these differences but over the weeks we have come to love these parts of each other as well.

It's been 6 weeks, but the times we get to see each other are limited. With the project just taking off I have to spend a lot of time in the office and on site to make sure everything is being set up correctly. And there can only be so many times that Katniss goes to the "spa" or to "meet Rose" without it becoming suspicious. We have been limited to quick fumbles in any place we can.

If I hardly see Katniss I see Xavier even less. There are just less plausible excuses we can come up with that would validate me seeing him. I have seen him exactly twice since the babysitting. Once when we "accidently" ran into each other in the park and the other time when the rest of the family were out of town. Every time I have seen him he's bounded up to me and babbled excitedly about what he has been up to. He's definitely a lively child and I can see the best parts of Katniss and I reflected in him; he's outgoing and adventurous. He still doesn't know that I am his real dad but we agreed not to tell him until we were sure we could get away from Cato. He's too young to really understand any way.

It's hard though and seeing how Cato treats him doesn't make it any easier. Already today he completely ignored Xavier when he came running up to him to show him a bug he had found. It made my heart break to see his little face fall as he realised his "dad" didn't care.

At the table the topic of conversation has moved on to where people will be vacationing this summer and the merits of vacations abroad ahead of staying on American soil.

"I for one think Europe is overrated. It takes ages to get there, the people are weird and they all talk different languages. It's too much of a hassle if you ask me," Glimmer moans.

"But it has got some great history and culture," Rose argues. "The Colosseum. The Louvre."

Glimmer shakes her head uninterested.

"That doesn't make up for the lack of a good day spa," she replies.

I roll my eyes. She can be so shallow at times. I would love to go to these places and see the art and experience the culture. But I guess Glimmer's world is a small place that doesn't extend beyond spas and cocktail hours.

The other men at the table begin talking about the economic state of the various European countries, such as Greece, and how this is affecting the tourism there.

Katniss has stayed quiet as she takes a bite of cheese. Noticing that the other members of the table are in deep conversation I take the opportunity to repay Katniss for some of the torture she is giving me by wearing that dress.

I slip a hand underneath the table and place it gently on her knee. I see her swallow obviously as my hand begins to gently caress her knee. She doesn't look round to face me and carries on cutting another bit of brie pretending nothing has changed.

Feeling bold I move my hand further up her leg until my hand has reached the hem of her dress. I pause momentarily tracing the skin there before dipping my hand underneath. Katniss makes a grab for her wine glass as she tries to steady herself. I smile to myself and continue my journey up her thigh.

I can tell she is having a hard time keeping her breathing in check and her grip on her glass gets even tighter as I continue to lovingly caress the soft skin of her inner thigh. I check the rest of the table to see if anyone has noticed that anything is amiss but they all seem blissfully unaware. Rose is stuck in a seemly frustrating conversation with Glimmer about how every other country should learn to speak English. Thresh and Harry are talking about sports and the rest of the table has once again gone back to talking about money.

My hand hovers dangerously close to her crotch now and from the tension in her body I can tell she is waiting to see if I will go all the way. I smile before tentatively touching a finger to the outside of her panties. I can feel how wet she is through the fabric. I feel the blood begin to move to my groin.

I being rubbing small circles over her little bundle of nerves and she picks up her drink and takes a large gulp to hide her moan. I pretend that nothing is wrong and nod my head along with what the other Snows are saying.

Katniss drains the remains of her wine and slams it down on the table. The rest of the table turn to look at her surprised. I withdraw my hand quickly from underneath her dress. Katniss stares back at them her cheeks a little flushed.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she announces and gets up to leave.

The table seem a little confused at her abrupt departure but most go back to their conversations without a second thought.

I look after her and see she has turned round to look at me. I see the sparkle in her eyes that look silver in the moonlight. She is asking me to follow her. Once she is sure I have understood her message she turns to head back into the house.

I turn my attention back to the table, planning to wait a few minutes before I go and follow her. However I am met by her dad's accusing stare.

"Be careful," he warns. "Cato is not as stupid as he looks."

I give him a weak smile and say "I know what I am doing."

He tips his head at me before turning back to talk to Thresh.

It's been strange getting to know both Rose and Harry again. I have to pretend I know nothing about them and I guess in a way I don't. So much has happened to them since they left. I was horrified to learn Harry was in a wheelchair. He had always been so active when I knew him and to see him like this was a shock.

I had always got on well with them in Seam but things are different now. Both of them know about our reacquainted relationship. I knew Harry had always liked me and part of him is happy that I am back, but he is still wary. He knows we are playing a dangerous game.

I count to 100 before excusing myself and going to find Katniss. A waiter comes up to me and hands me a note.

Downstairs bathroom it says.

I smile to myself, thank the waiter and bound up the steps and into the house.

I find the bathroom quickly and open the door without knocking. Katniss is one me before I can do anything. He lips attack mine as she pries my mouth open so she can stroke my tongue with her own.

"Oh god I want you so bad," she moans as she begins to plant small kisses down my neck.

"Are you trying to kill me in that dress?" I reply pulling her lips back to mine.

Katniss smirks into it.

"You like it? I wore it especially for you," she replies smugly.

I clutch her too me and deepen the kiss. I can feel her moan into my mouth.

The desire to be with her increases and I turn her round forcibly so her back is against my chest. I rip one of the sleeves of her dress down off her shoulder exposing her naked breast to the cool air in the bathroom. I grab it roughly and knead it in my hand. She lets out a groan in response and pushes her ass into my rock hard erection. I tug the ends of her hair back so I have access to her lips again and I attack them hungrily.

The primal urge I get to claim her whenever Cato is around takes over and I can't wait any longer. I need to be inside her now.

I step back a little to undo my belt and push my pants down. I rip open the condom and slide it on quickly. I push her dress up over her hips and yank down her underwear. I don't give her a chance to recover before I plunge myself into her.

We both cry out as we enjoy the feeling of each other. The pure joy of being inside her never gets old. I don't waste any time and bend Katniss over slightly as she grips the counter tops in front of us.

I set a frantic pace while I admire us in the mirrored wall in front of us. We look so fucking good together. My pale skin against her darker tone. Our eyes both black with lust and desire. Our faces contorted with pleasure.

I place sloppy kisses on her exposed neck, careful not to leave any marks. They would be difficult to explain later.

Every thrust is pure ecstasy and I can't get her close enough.

I bend down to whisper in her ear.

"Look up Katniss," I hiss. "I want you to watch us. Every time he is with you I want you to remember this. Remember how good we look. How much pleasure my dick gives your pussy."

"Always," she pants as she brings her eyes back up to look in the mirror.

I see her eyes widen as she catches sight of us. I smirk back at her through the mirror and continue my rapid pace. We are so fucking perfect together. This is where she is meant to be.

I know we don't have much time and I know I need to speed things up. My thumb goes to her clit and rubs it with short, hard circles. Katniss lets out a sharp gasp.

"Come for me," I demand.

She does exactly as I say and we watch ourselves tumble over the edge together in the mirror.

She slumps forward after our excursions. I reluctantly pull myself out of her, but pull her back to me, her back still facing my front.

"I love you," I say simply after I have caught my breath.

She smiles at me and leans back, resting her head against my shoulder.

"I wish I didn't have to leave you," she states sadly.

And all of a sudden I am brought back to reality. I have to leave her. I don't get to go home with her at the end of the night. I don't get to fall asleep in her arms.

"I hate this," I state angry now. "I want more than stolen moments with you! God I love you, but I want all of you, not some half version of you!"

Katniss twists round in my arms.

"We have to patient! That's what you have been telling me," Katniss replies, also a little angry.

My body slumps a little knowing she is right.

"I know," I state sadly resting my forehead against hers. "It's just hard."

Katniss smiles at me in understanding. Her hands go up to cup my cheeks.

"I love you. I'm yours and your mine," she states lovingly.

I nod my head and let her rearrange herself. I pick up her underwear and she looks at me to give them back to her. I give her a cheeky smile.

"Oh no. I'm keeping these," I say and stuff them into my pants pocket. Katniss shakes her head at me and slips out the room. I follow a couple of minutes later.

The fireworks were as spectacular as everyone had told me and I now sit watching Katniss and Xavier on the dance floor. While Cato has ignored his son for most of the night, Katniss has hardly let him out of her sight since dinner. She's doing a goofy dance with him as they jump and twist about. I watch them with a big smile on my face. I love seeing Katniss in the role of mother. She opens up in a way I have only ever seen her with Rose. The two of them are clearly having a great time, both bright eyed and giggly.

I feel the presence of someone sitting down beside me. The person doesn't move to initiate any further interaction. We both sit in silence watching the dance floor.

"How long have you been in love with her?" the person asks after a few moments of silence.

I turn to find it is Katniss's friend Cinna.

I was surprised when I first met him that he and Katniss got on so well. She hates fashion. But she described it was more like art and after talking to him I knew she was right. Cinna and I have had many different conversations about artists that have inspired us.

I stare at him for a moment trying to figure out what to tell him. I know he is one of the only people Katniss trust here.

"Longer than you can imagine," I admit honestly.

Cinna smiles warmly at me.

"I thought so. She's been so different since you have arrived," he states looking at her and Xavier still on the dance floor.

"I remember when I first met her. Even then I knew there was something special about her. She had a scowl on her face almost the entire night. I had never seen someone so disinterested and unimpressed about being there," he carries on.

I laugh knowingly.

"That sounds like her," I reply.

There is a slight pause.

"And now she is positively glowing. I have never seen her so happy before," Cinna says.

I smile gratefully at him for his words.

"She and Xavier deserve all the happiness in the world," Cinna states. "I've always thought that there was someone who could show the Snows that they are not the gods they think they are. I think you may be that person."

"You think?" I ask.

"Never underestimate the strength of your love," he replies. "If you ever need any help, give me a call."

I look at him gratefully as he gets up to leave and he hands me his business card. I'm glad someone else is on my side.

I go back to watching Katniss and Xavier. I laugh when I see Xavier attempt a moon walk.

I just need to be patient. I have to believe it will all work out in the end.

The following week I have a meeting with Haymitch to get an update on our progress with the Snows. The fresh input into the investigation has caused Haymitch to have a new lease of life and he has had a spring clean of his office and has stayed relatively sober. I now don't have to worry about catching anything when I go visit.

He scans the papers he has in front of him as I update him on my progress.

"Construction for the rehab centre is well under way. He's pushing it through to get it done quickly. He keeps mentioning that he has a big shipment coming in. I'm pretty sure it drugs," I explain.

Haymitch nods his head.

"They keep mentioning that on the wire too. Definitely something big, if we can only get one step ahead of them. Does the kid know anything about it?" he asks.

"Woof hasn't heard anything yet, but is keeping his ears open. He's pretty sure Cato will come to him when the time is right."

Haymitch keeps bobbing his head still looking at the papers. Eventually he puts them down and looks up at me.

"Good. It may not be much but we're getting there. We're setting a lot of stuff up," he says

It is my turn to nod my head.

The truth is things are going more slowly than I would like. Woof and the wire have given us small clues but nothing concrete. I know these things take a lot of time to set up and we can't risk anything going wrong, but it doesn't mean I like how long it takes.

I sink back into the chair and run a hand through my hair.

"It's just frustrating! I hear and see all this bad stuff they are doing and I have to sit back and watch for a bit," I sigh frustrated.

"Why do you think I drink? The Snows have been getting away with shit for years," Haymitch replies.

"I don't know how you have the will to keep going."

"You should know. You're doing this for the same reason I am; for someone you love."

I study Haymitch now. I've heard the rumours, but after spending time with him I find it difficult to imagine someone falling in love with him. He's so grumpy and greasy.

"They look my Maysilee away from me. She got into the wrong crowd while I was away for a bit. They got her hooked on heroin. She began doing stupid things to get her hands on it. Stealing from me, doing them favours…selling herself. By the time I got back she was too far gone. The debt was too high. She overdosed a year after I got back. She was so desperate they sold her unsafe stuff."

I sit in a stunned silence. I hadn't expected him to tell me that. I immediately understand why he is the way he is now. I would have gone insane if the same thing happened to Katniss.

"I'm so sorry," I reply.

"Save it. Show me how much you are by helping me put these bastards away," Haymitch states.

I nod my head and lean forward so we can discuss our next plan of action.

I leave Haymitch's office emotionally drained. I have a new appreciation for him now. He just channelled all his grief into avenging the girl he loved. I did something similar when Katniss left.

I slump into my car and then my phone starts ringing. I look down and see it is her number.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to hear your voice right now," I say as I pick up the phone.

After hearing Haymitch talk about Maysilee I need to hear Katniss's voice to remind myself she is still okay.

"Well I'm just about to make your day even better. What are you doing this Saturday?" she asks happily.

"Nothing. Why?" I reply.

"Cato and his dad are out of town this weekend on a golf trip and Effie is going to a spa. Xavier and I will be home alone."

I get a ridiculously big cheesy grin on my face.

"Really? I get to spend time with both of you this weekend?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yep. The whole weekend. Xavier and I have got a place we want to take you," she says.

"That's great! This is just the thing I needed to pick me up."

"I hope it's nothing bad."

"Oh it's nothing really. Just a story Haymitch told me. Made me realise I could have it a lot worse."

"Well if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Katniss Everdeen willing to talk about feelings. Shock!"

"Don't get used to it."

I chuckle before arranging another time to talk and saying goodbye.

I instantly feel better. A whole weekend with my son and the woman I love.

On the Saturday morning I drive round to the Snow mansion with a huge hamper of bread and pastries for our trip today. Katniss wouldn't tell me where we are going, only that I should wear something I don't mind getting dirty. I decided to go for a simple navy t-shirt and old pair of jeans. The day is pleasantly warm and I can't wait to spend the entire day with them.

Katniss opens the door and immediately Xavier bounds over to me in a striped t-shirt and shorts and wraps his arms around my leg.

"Yay! You came!" he exclaims while looking up at me.

I give him a big smile and ruffle his hair.

"Of course I came. I even brought some rocky road!" I reply. Xavier squeals and jumps up and down.

"Don't worry I've got cheese buns for you too." I add looking at Katniss.

She smiles at me and tells Xavier to go get his bag. He bounds off to collect his things desperate to get going.

30 minutes later Katniss tells me to pull up beside the entrance of a wooded area.

I should have known. Woods were always a special place for her. It makes sense that she would have found a substitute here in Louisville.

Xavier is bouncing in his car seat as we arrive.

"We're here!" he shouts.

"Calm down Xav. We've got plenty of time to show Peeta," Katniss says trying to calm him down.

It doesn't have much effect and he wriggles impatiently as Katniss undoes his seat belt. He hops out the car energetically and goes to grab my hand to drag me away.

"Whoah! Wait up buddy! We have to help your mom carry the picnic," I try to reason.

Xavier lets out a little huff before turning round and reluctantly going to help his mom. She hands him his Spiderman back pack and then unloads the rest of the car. I pick up the big hamper before asking Xavier to show us the way.

Xavier scampers off excited to get there.

It's a short walk before we arrive at a meadow.

It is beautiful. The woods break into a large clearing that allows the sunlight to stream down onto the grass. The place is filled with wild flowers of all different colours. Birds flit about the trees singing enchanting melodies. You would never guess that a large city was only 30 minutes away.

Xavier runs off, dumping his bag on the ground and going off to chase a butterfly. He is clearly at home in this environment. I continue to stare at the meadow in awe. I will definitely be sketching this tonight. Katniss looks at me with a knowing smile and moves beside me placing the basket on the ground by our feet.

"I found this place when I was pregnant. I couldn't believe that such a place existed here. I would come here and dream about all the things we could do here with our child," she says.

My heart almost bursts at her words. I can instantly see her sitting in the grass with her growing belly contemplating the world. I want to take her in my arms and kiss her at this thought.

"I can't tell you how much I want to kiss you right now. Do you think Xavier would notice?" I ask mock seriously.

Katniss grins at me.

"He might have some questions," she replies wriggling her eyebrows at me.

I shake my head and begin unrolling the blanket.

I have to control myself today. It would be too confusing for Xavier to see us kissing. He still believes Cato is his dad.

Xavier sees us unpacking the hamper and comes rushing over to us.

"Are we having cake now?" he asks hopefully.

"Do you think about anything other than food greedy guts?" Katniss says to him shaking her head. "We have to wait a while. Don't want to eat it all at once."

Xavier looks a little disappointed and sits on the ground with a huff.

"What do you want to do buddy?" I ask trying to distract him.

He looks up at me excitedly.

"Do you know how to make a mud pie?" he asks.

"It can't be much harder than baking a real pie," I reply.

"I don't know, you need a certain skill set," Katniss chips in.

"And how would you know?" I ask.

"I happen to be an expert in mud pies, right Xav?" she says.

Xavier bobs his head enthusiastically.

"Mommy is really good. She makes them all gooey and lumpy!" he replies.

Katniss looks at me triumphantly.

"Okay. Let's see who's best. I say we have a competition. Best mud pie gets an extra bit of cake!" I declare.

"Who decides who wins?" Katniss asks suspiciously.

"We'll take a vote. Whoever gets 2 votes wins," I state.

"Let's do it Mommy!" Xavier begs.

Katniss can't say no to her son and smiles at him.

"Deal!" she declares sticking out her hand for me to shake.

Xavier jumps about with excitement as Katniss pulls out some bowls for us to use for our pies.

"The ground is a little dry. What do we need Xav to make the earth muddy?" Katniss asks.

"Water!" he declares proudly.

My son is a little genius. I watch him carefully add the water to the earth Katniss has dug up for him. He runs off to get a stick so he can stir it.

Katniss and I also fill our bowls with earth and water before all 3 of us go off to find the other ingredients for our pies.

I scout the edge of the meadow for fallen leaves and feathers while keeping a close eye on Xavier to make sure he doesn't wonder too far. As I am rummaging about a bush I spot a slippery worm. I know instantly who would appreciate this.

"Xavier! Come over here!" I call over.

He looks up a little confused before carefully coming over with his bowl of muck. He walks up to me gingerly wondering what it is I have to show him.

"Look what I found!" I say to him proudly.

He peers over my shoulder and his eyes widen when he sees the worm.

"Cool a worm!" He says in awe. "You're pie is going to be so good."

He looks a little sad and jealous that he didn't find the worm himself.

"You should take it for your pie," I state.

"Really? But you'll win if you have it," he says.

"I don't need it. I think you are a better mud pie maker than me any way."

Xavier nods his head and bends down to pick up the worm a big grin on his face. I'm proud that he is not squeamish about it. He definitely got that from Katniss.

He adds it to his mix and stirs it a little bit before going off to find the next thing. I love how seriously he is taking this.

A little while later we have all finished our pies and have gathered round on the blanket. Xavier has clearly put a lot of effort into his pie and has a large streak of mud across his forehead. Katniss has added lots of leaves and twigs to hers and even an old bird's nest. How she found it I don't know. It makes my own pie of flower petals and feathers look pathetic.

Xavier on the other hand is extremely proud of his. After the worm he had found a beetle and dead spider and his pie looks rather gruesome.

"Did I win?" he asks hopefully.

Katniss and I share a look.

"Of course you did honey!" Katniss declares while pulling him in for a kiss on the cheek.

"Ewww! Not cool Mommy!" Xavier wails at his mother's actions. He wipes off her kiss with the back of his hand.

Katniss and I both chuckle.

"Well I think it's time to collect your prize, Mud Pie Master!" I say handing Xavier a piece of rocky road.

He grabs the cake greedily and adds crumbs to his already muddy face. Katniss and I watch our son happily eat his prize.

We spend the rest of the day in the meadow playing games and chasing Xavier around. His infectious laughter echoes around the clearing. By the end of the day my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

I am glad that this day isn't going to end when we get back to Louisville. With the rest of the Snows away I get to spend the night and most of tomorrow with both of them. Tomorrow I am even going to teach Xavier how to make the rocky road he so desperately loves.

Xavier is exhausted by the time we leave and I have to carry him, with his head on my shoulder and a little drool running onto my shirt, back to the car. I strap him in, careful not to wake him. Katniss and I finish loading the car and head back into the city.

Xavier wakes up when we stop off at MacDonald's for some dinner and gets excited by the toy car he gets with his kids meal. By the time we get back to the house ketchup has been added to his already dirty face.

"You're such a mucky boy!" Katniss exclaims as she gets out a face wipe to clear off the dirt on his face. Xavier is too tired to squirm.

"Do I have to have a bath?" he asks warily.

"Not tonight honey. I think it's time for your bed," she says.

Xavier protests a little but the massive yawn gives him away. I smile at him as I lift him out of his car seat.

"Come on sleepy head. I'll read you a story," I say to try and cheer him up.

His tired eyes light up a little bit.

"Goody! Can you do the voices?" he asks looking up at me.

"You bet I can," I say before placing a kiss on his floppy curls. Xavier smiles happily before snuggling back into my shoulder.

I carry him up the stairs and help him put on his pyjamas while Katniss puts away the stuff we used earlier. I tuck Xavier up in his sheets and snuggle down beside him with a book he picked out.

He's picked Where the Wild Things Are, one of my own favourites, and sits with his head resting against my chest and his stuffed rabbit tucked under his arm.

I begin telling him the story, putting on different voices when needed. By the time I am finished Xavier's eyes are heavy with sleep.

"Okay. I think it's time for bed," I say putting the book on his bedside table.

"Thank you for the story," he says sleepily. "Daddy never reads me stories."

My heart clenches at his words. I wonder if Cato has ever spent the time with him like I have today.

"No problem. That's one of my favourites too," I reply.

Xavier smiles at me before his face falls a little.

"I wish you were my dad," he states sadly.

I almost break down there and then. I want to hold him and tell him that it is alright. I love him and will always be there for him. But I can't. He is too young to understand.

"I'll always want to hang out with, okay," I say planting a kiss on the top of his head.

He nods his head sleepily and I gentle remove myself from his bed.

"Goodnight Xavier," I say.

"Goodnight Peeta," he replies before closing his tired eyes.

I find Katniss standing at his door way when I leave. She witnessed the whole thing. She pulls me in for a tight hug knowing Xavier's words were hard for me to hear.

"He already knows you love him," she whispers into my ear.

I fight back the tears that threaten at the corners of my eyes as I nod my head into her shoulder.

"He's the best parts of us Katniss. I've never been so proud of anything in my life," I sob as the tears finally break through their barriers.

"I know," Katniss replies simply.

We stand there locked in a tight embrace as I let the emotions I have been trying to hide pour out of me. I got a taste of what it could be like today. How happy we could be as a family. It's so close yet so far.

I don't think I have ever wanted something so much.